Losing interest in my girl

[pipe007]

Hey guys
just some thoughts... I Have a LTR, we've been dating for 6 months now... sex is good, she is good to me, she has changed her behavior to accomodate herself to my worldview, and my reality... so now when I have her where I want, I'm beginning to lose interest in her.

she is not being a challenge anymore, and is growing attached to me, and for some reason she doesn't turn me on as much anymore... which sux, because she is putting so much effort into the relationship, that I would feel like a D1ck to just dump her...

this is not a post to complain about my situation or to b1tch about anything, but just thinking how weird our emotions are.... men and women are the same when it comes to attraction in some aspects...

when they stop being challenging and they show they are in love with you, its like a lot of my interest for her goes away... I think the same mechanism must happen with women... hard to explain...

I'll stick with her for another while and see if my interest level keeps going down, then I'll deal with it, and end it.... but in the meantime, I think am just going to start doing approaches to see if that helps me increase my attraction for her, and if by meeting other girls, my Interest level drops even more, then I guess I dont need to be in a relationship if Im not attracted to her anymore.

so weird... the first 3 -4 months,, i couldnt get enough of her,, and didnt chase her that much but i was on top of it, and basically did what I had to to have her on my hook, finally did it,,, now am growing bored of it,,, ,even though i only see her twice a week at max, but we talk every day.

 

[Websters dic]

Start seeing other women then dump her.

 

[mtlwlu]

Im in the same boat brother, shes trying really hard (even changed her hair colour to my pref) and is open in the bedroom...(let your mind wonder) but for as hard as shes trying Im just...bored. Shes a push over, agrees to everything and I have no reason to dump her, plus her family loves me lol.

 

[pipe007]

Amen to that bro...
this is the kind of problems that happen in the other side of the coin...
some people in this forum have issues trying to get the girl.... and what do you do once you get her lol.... i guess you start wondering if you can get something else, maybe something better....

its just being humans I guess, that's why when women sense you love them and will always be with them, then they begin to wonder if they can get someone else, someone better.

 

[Websters dic]

Do you guys think if it was the other way around she would be thinking.."ohh poor him..he's such a NICE GUY..I'll just stick around because I feel bad dumping his sorry ass..." No, They would just dump you with out giving a toss about you, your family or feelings. Why be in a relationship you are not happy with?

 

[pipe007]

you do have a valid point websters... women can be ruthless and cruel when they lose interest and think of dumping you... they just do it.

as you grow as a man, and become more attractive, you find women will be less and less likely to think about dumping you. (if you know how to keep the frame and control of the relationship)

so coming from this perspective, It is a bit hard to just dump her like that, I guess it might be my own values and ethics coming at play here... im not trying to harm her for no valid reason..

UNLESS I meet someone else who has better qualitites, and start dating on the side, then I have a valid reason to dump her.... Or I could dump her and be single and start meeting girls, that's another possibility...

but this girl is giving me everything I need to be a happy man in a great relationsihp... its just I dont know weird to just dump a girl who is giving her 100%...

sure I feel sorry for the guys that get dumped by their girls harshly... but they probably dont know what they are doing anyways, AFC behavior loses the girl... so that's not my concern here... its hard to explain.....
I'm not saying this is a good girl, or that she is the one, but she is displaying behaviors I consider IDEAL for a relationship, and once I finally have it..... its like now Im looking at the whole picture,,, and I might not be as happy as the beginning.

its quite interesting.

 

[DonJuanit0]

One dude being in the same condition here! Posted it before etc...

We spend our time seeking for safety and when we finally get it, we hate it...

That's how people are! That's why it's difficult for me to explain monogamy etc...

As I said I'm facing the same sh1t in my LTR, the problem is that when we are together I dodn't even act bad to her! I'm being really really nice (not AFC) to her, so she wants me more, she wants to spend more time with me, she want to sleep over my place whenever it is possible, while I prefer going out with my friends, have fun WITHOUT her...

Like you said I would be a sh1t to dump her...

The thing is, should we really care of what they'll think after we say it's over?

 

[pipe007]

lol ... should we really care??

that is the rub!!

this is a topic that does not get discussed much in this forum,,,, I guess the logical solution for more sesasoned DJs, its the usual, just go out and find other women... and DUmp her.

But am looking for a more meaningful answer here.... I mean I have done my research,,, no matter who you are with, eventually the passion chemicals wear off and you become comfortable with that person, and you just wanna settle down and stuff, the passionate love goes away and you are stuck with committment.

after that point what you have is a girl willing to stay with you because of her respect and committment to you, long term relationships gotta have this i believe. Couples become more a commited companions.

that's why its important to date a woman for a good 1 year and half, to finally decide if she is worth keeping in the long run... because that is when chemicals wear off and you see the true person... the girl that wants to be next to you because she wants to... not just because of hormone reactions...

so now.. im at that point more than she is I guess, and im guessing if I want to be her companion for the long run... I still wanna meet someone else I guess

 

[DonJuanit0]

So, you're thinking about dumping her?

 

[pipe007]

No. I'm not able to do so right now, for whatever reason. That's the last thing I want to do at this moment. But thoughts begin to creep in about the possibility of meeting someone else....

and I shouldnt since apparently I have found the girl that gives me what i want...

Meeting someone else would imply going through the whole process again, and the drama and setting the rules, its a process to get to the point where you have her hooked... lol I'm just lazy.

 

[facadegeniality]

i think u just need to rekindle the spark bet u two. just a thought.

 

[Kailex]

Do you guys think if it was the other way around she would be thinking.."ohh poor him..he's such a NICE GUY..I'll just stick around because I feel bad dumping his sorry ass..." No, They would just dump you with out giving a toss about you, your family or feelings. Why be in a relationship you are not happy with?

Yes and no.

They will dump you once they've found another option they deem better than the current one.

Men are the ones that'll easily dump without having other obvious options hanging around.

Women will try to justify sticking around with said person until they find someone that is better in any particular way and gets their emotions stirring, but they won't just dump you and settle for absolutely nothing.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Yes and no.

They will dump you once they've found another option they deem better than the current one.

Men are the ones that'll easily dump without having other obvious options hanging around.

Women will try to justify sticking around with said person until they find someone that is better in any particular way and gets their emotions stirring, but they won't just dump you and settle for absolutely nothing.

Yeah, they'll try to make your life a living hell first...

THE THING IS, DO YOU DUMP A GIRL WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAVING A REAL GOOD TIME WITH HER, THOUGH SHE IS ACTING GREAT?!?

 

[HariPoter13]

When you have problems you fix them, you dont abandon ship each time. So probably the best thing would be talk to her about it.

P.S. Maybe take a break from each other for 2 weeks (no contact whatsoever) and see where you stand at.

 

[DonJuanit0]

talk to her?!? ANd say what? Though you are great I feel boring when I am around you, ****ing with you has become so pointless and staff like that? Or just lie? There's no point in lying...

If I say to her to stop contact for even 1 week she'll start making up stories and staff like I don't want to be with her anymore bla bla bla...