switch said:
Height....
the moment when i realize that im actually a short 5' 8"
Eh... Me too, but never had any problems. Also, of persian descent with brown skin. But, the face makes up for it. Thats where all of my success came from. Same with ex-friends. They were all relatively short, but good looking. That, by far, is number 1. You pretty much attract what you are physically - before any words are spoken. Leagues do exist, and people know which ones they belong to. Thats not to say they cant be circumvented with other traits, but for the most part, people go for the best they KNOW they can get - based on experience and acceptance. Hot people know theyre hot, and can get someone of their equivalent. Thats what they tend to stick with.
Status is tricky, because it ties into looks. Theyre indistinguishable (sp). Women want who other women want, so a good looking guy is automatically viewed as desirable by other women. But, thats just their initial perception. If you come off as desperate, clingy, etc - theyll view you as not in high demand by other women, and lose their attraction big time. This is also why they look down on virgins, whiney, insecure, needy, inexperienced guys with no success, etc. They want someone exciting and hot and in high demand. Most good looking guys just so happen to possess the necessary traits - hence being arrogant, selfish, egotistical, etc. They know theyre sought after. And so do the women.
Whats difficult is understanding how this works. For instance, a bad boy is successful NOT because he's a douche bag loser, but because he's viewed as high status. He doesnt care, doesnt try or beg, and even makes her feel unworthy and not good enough. So, she works harder to gain his acceptance. He MUST be special to not care, not commit, and have all these options.. Now she wants him more.
This is also why being the nice guy is so inneffective. All of these things you are doing to prove how different and wonderful you are is making her view you as low status. Thus, the attraction drops. Despite her claiming to hate everything she found attractive about the losers.
What ****ed me back in the day was not understanding that there was no connection between their words / claims, and their actions / desires. Its quite the mind-**** if you go about things logically and rationally (as per assuming they are, too). You THINK they want the nice guy, so you focus solely on her, make her feel super special, reassure her constantly (with compliments and faithfulness), share your insecurities and even devalue yourself to make her feel unthreatened, and all these things you THINK would work, but doesnt. Everything you are doing to make her feel comfortable - as per her claims and your assumptions - is actually losing her attraction towards you. Thats because she's not thinking youre doing these things for her, but because youre a desperate nice guy virgin loser. Logic and intelligence doesnt apply. All that matters is their perception of you.
The hardest part, I think, is accepting that this is how things are. So, while you're thinking she's genuine, quality, wife material (likely due to sympathizing and assuming too much) - all she really cares about is status. Thats why she avoids the decent guys who listen and care and share. Despite claiming to want just that.
This also depends on the kind of women youre going after. The fake, shallow, popular types are all about this crap. Thats because theyre insecure, approval-seeking followers. Always pay attention to who people are, who they associate with, how they act, what their lifestyles consist of, etc - before sympathizing, assuming, and proving.
