I'll make this as short as possible.
So this girl. Hadn't seen her for 5 years, never dated in high school but hooked up. She randomly got in touch with me two years ago but we lived in different cities. Started calling me every day, really putting it on thick, I fell for her. She kept making statements that she loved me so much it scared her and that she didn't know what to do and she fell for me really hard and she could see us staying together but it scared her.
To this day I bought that excuse. But she was a major game player. So on many occasions, probable 20 times, I've called her out got in many fights, ended badly, pulled no contact on her, we were done, I move on. In all honesty, I lost my cool a lot of times with her. I feel like had I played it cool and at least at minimal game, we would have worked out. The feeling like i "screwed" up has always driven me to want another chance.
She would ignore me, **** test me and it would get so bad that I would just call her out and basically insult her. This went on for a while, she went on a cruise, came back and shoved it in my face that she was rubbing all over guys and I walked away.
Six months later, she calls me nine times in a row and I ignore all nine. I was done letting her play mind games and was not going to answer. Finally sends me a text that it was an emergency. I tell her to call 911. At this point I'm like alright whatever she's full of it. Then she tells me her dad died. Turns out her dad had just unexpectedly died. I'm shaken up by this so I start thinking to myself, maybe its time that I be there for her and put the past aside. I won't lie, I wanted another chance. I still loved her. I still felt like I screwed it up and could have acted more like a man and we could have worked. I went to the funeral. She ignored me for a while the first weeks after her dad died so I just let her go because I knew she was probably going through a lot.
So she has a boyfriend at the time, but dumps him and calls me up the next day and we start talking again. We talk every day. She calls me like five times a day but under the context of friends and I just really support her, flirt with her, she knows I love her. So I come home to visit, kiss her, she is saying she is crazy about me. Then we start fighting again. I lose my cool again because I just can't get over the fact that I feel like she treats me like ****. Anytime I try to bring it up, it starts a major fight and she spins it to be my fault. You guys know the game.
Anyways, we end it again, this time its really bad because she views it like I broke her heart after her dad died and its all ****ed up. I tell her I deserve better and she is just cruel on the inside. I regret the things I said but I lost my cool. So I get rid of my phone, emails everything and just isolate myself completely, graduate and move on with my life.
I move back home to the city we both grew up in. 3 months later this chick straight DRIVES TO MY HOUSE on the anniversary of her dad dying. I'm like ****, I was trying to move on, seeing her again I made the assumption she wanted to be back together and really did love me.
I'm like ****, not going to lie. I still wanted another chance. So I told her exactly how I felt. I loved her, this and that, always wanted us to stay together, probably was a bad idea, apologized for breaking her heart and hurting her and tried to explain why I did what I did. She started up the same bull****, ignoring me, playing games, trying to mess with my head with six page emails explaining all this garbage about how she loves me but we were never in love and that she didn't know what we could have had because her and I never really got to that point because she was scared.
I'm really busy right now and have a lot I have to stay focused on so I was like **** this she's crazy, I deserve better all she is going to do is hurt me. A few weeks ago I ultimately was like "Stay away from my house or you will be trespassing, don't call me or come around to my property again, I've tried to move on and I'm done being roped in so we both need to stay away from each other or result to court proceedings to have it ordered."
Obviously this was lame and losing my cool again but man I just couldn't take the games anymore and I don't have the strength to maintain my current lifestyle while this girl is constantly messing with my head. I just wanted her to not continue to get in contact with me if she had no intention of being together. She did not have that intention after I told her what I wanted and how I felt and how I didn't want to be freinds etc. So this time, she should NOT come back.
Anyways, I want to see what you guys think.
Once you are a beta in the past, that sticks with her I feel like. I feel like I'll never be able to have anything with her because of all the past crap I did. I was MAJOR AFC at the beginning of this and even recently the stuff I did I am not proud of and basically think is lame as hell. But something about all the time and effort I invested and to be played just gets me stark mad.
How do you deal with being that mad after being played. All I ever tried to do was love her after her dad died and support her the best I could because I did love her and she was my best friend but after a while, I was just becoming her crutch. She was dependant on me. I would come home to visit her and she wasn't having sex with me. It was like emotional tampon friendzone bull**** but under the context of her dad dying so I couldn't say **** about it.
Horrible situation.
So this girl. Hadn't seen her for 5 years, never dated in high school but hooked up. She randomly got in touch with me two years ago but we lived in different cities. Started calling me every day, really putting it on thick, I fell for her. She kept making statements that she loved me so much it scared her and that she didn't know what to do and she fell for me really hard and she could see us staying together but it scared her.
To this day I bought that excuse. But she was a major game player. So on many occasions, probable 20 times, I've called her out got in many fights, ended badly, pulled no contact on her, we were done, I move on. In all honesty, I lost my cool a lot of times with her. I feel like had I played it cool and at least at minimal game, we would have worked out. The feeling like i "screwed" up has always driven me to want another chance.
She would ignore me, **** test me and it would get so bad that I would just call her out and basically insult her. This went on for a while, she went on a cruise, came back and shoved it in my face that she was rubbing all over guys and I walked away.
Six months later, she calls me nine times in a row and I ignore all nine. I was done letting her play mind games and was not going to answer. Finally sends me a text that it was an emergency. I tell her to call 911. At this point I'm like alright whatever she's full of it. Then she tells me her dad died. Turns out her dad had just unexpectedly died. I'm shaken up by this so I start thinking to myself, maybe its time that I be there for her and put the past aside. I won't lie, I wanted another chance. I still loved her. I still felt like I screwed it up and could have acted more like a man and we could have worked. I went to the funeral. She ignored me for a while the first weeks after her dad died so I just let her go because I knew she was probably going through a lot.
So she has a boyfriend at the time, but dumps him and calls me up the next day and we start talking again. We talk every day. She calls me like five times a day but under the context of friends and I just really support her, flirt with her, she knows I love her. So I come home to visit, kiss her, she is saying she is crazy about me. Then we start fighting again. I lose my cool again because I just can't get over the fact that I feel like she treats me like ****. Anytime I try to bring it up, it starts a major fight and she spins it to be my fault. You guys know the game.
Anyways, we end it again, this time its really bad because she views it like I broke her heart after her dad died and its all ****ed up. I tell her I deserve better and she is just cruel on the inside. I regret the things I said but I lost my cool. So I get rid of my phone, emails everything and just isolate myself completely, graduate and move on with my life.
I move back home to the city we both grew up in. 3 months later this chick straight DRIVES TO MY HOUSE on the anniversary of her dad dying. I'm like ****, I was trying to move on, seeing her again I made the assumption she wanted to be back together and really did love me.
I'm like ****, not going to lie. I still wanted another chance. So I told her exactly how I felt. I loved her, this and that, always wanted us to stay together, probably was a bad idea, apologized for breaking her heart and hurting her and tried to explain why I did what I did. She started up the same bull****, ignoring me, playing games, trying to mess with my head with six page emails explaining all this garbage about how she loves me but we were never in love and that she didn't know what we could have had because her and I never really got to that point because she was scared.
I'm really busy right now and have a lot I have to stay focused on so I was like **** this she's crazy, I deserve better all she is going to do is hurt me. A few weeks ago I ultimately was like "Stay away from my house or you will be trespassing, don't call me or come around to my property again, I've tried to move on and I'm done being roped in so we both need to stay away from each other or result to court proceedings to have it ordered."
Obviously this was lame and losing my cool again but man I just couldn't take the games anymore and I don't have the strength to maintain my current lifestyle while this girl is constantly messing with my head. I just wanted her to not continue to get in contact with me if she had no intention of being together. She did not have that intention after I told her what I wanted and how I felt and how I didn't want to be freinds etc. So this time, she should NOT come back.
Anyways, I want to see what you guys think.
Once you are a beta in the past, that sticks with her I feel like. I feel like I'll never be able to have anything with her because of all the past crap I did. I was MAJOR AFC at the beginning of this and even recently the stuff I did I am not proud of and basically think is lame as hell. But something about all the time and effort I invested and to be played just gets me stark mad.
How do you deal with being that mad after being played. All I ever tried to do was love her after her dad died and support her the best I could because I did love her and she was my best friend but after a while, I was just becoming her crutch. She was dependant on me. I would come home to visit her and she wasn't having sex with me. It was like emotional tampon friendzone bull**** but under the context of her dad dying so I couldn't say **** about it.
Horrible situation.
