This week we're going to talk about... being a catfish.
No, this is not the plot for a new movie about a talking purple
fish and his ca-r-azy lifelong search for his soulmate.
Picture for a moment picking up women is like the analogy of
"fishing". I know, it may seem like a lazy analogy used by many,
but I will make it even more relevant:
Old way of thinking: You may believe yourself to be the fisherman.
You are selective about what fishies you want to catch and what
lures you will use.
This is an old-time analogy where someone tells you, "Would you
bait a fish with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Of course
not. You bait the fish with what they want. You don't eat worms
but fish do."
One can't argue with that but at the end of the day, other than
reminding us all of something blatantly obvious that tends to be
overlooked, it's not applicable as PRACTICAL advice.
Instead, YOU are the fish. This is your NEW way of thinking.
You're a prize quality catfish swimming in the largest water
resource fished by the greatest fisherwomen around. You are a
prize catch and that is where you've chosen to swim.
It is your destiny to be caught but you do not want to be caught by
some lowly random fisherwoman. You want to end up on the cover of
"Fisherwoman Monthly" as the prize of the best out there.
Does this prize catfish take any old bait? Does this prize catfish
jump into any nearby boat? Even if the top fisherwoman is nearby,
do you jump into her boat and while gasping for water bubble out
the words "Here I am, fisherwoman!"?
No, you want to LURE the top fisherwoman to catch you... you want
to bring yourself around but not take her bait so easily.
You know your destiny is to be caught but you don't want her to
drop just any old worm bait. She will get bored or not appreciate
the catch and throw you back in the water (after which, trying to
jump back in the boat just reaffirms why she threw you back into
the water in the first place).
You want her to work the hardest she possibly can to reel you in
and you want to fight the catch. You want her value of the prize
and make her work to win it.
You know there are undoubtedly some bigger catfish around you who
will jump into her boat at any time but they are not prizes and she
will toss them back because there is no SPORT in that.
She will see your value and you will taunt her with it. She will
try to lure you and you will make it clear her lures need to be
better, but don't make it clear to her that you're just waiting for
a good lure - make her frustrated to try multiple lures as if it is
her who has not yet figured out how to catch you.
And, finally, no matter the taunting or waiting for a better lure,
no matter how hard you make yourself to catch, on some level she
must still feel that you are OBTAINABLE, that you ARE catch-able,
so she does not give up at least trying.
Just think to yourself in this analogy when looking to be caught by
top fisherwomen:
* "Am I just jumping into her boat without a struggle?"
(she will throw me back)
* "Am I being a challenge to her?"
(she won't WANT the catch)
* "Will she prize my value if I don't make it a sport for her?"
(am I being enough of a challenge?)
* "Am I concerned about other fish who just jump right in her boat?"
(I know she will throw them back anyway)
* "Am I trying to show off my value rather than presume it and
allow her to chase the catch?"
(am I waving a silly little blue flag to get her attention?)
* "Am I showing her how much effort nearby fisherwomen are putting
in to try to catch me?"
(will she see my value as seen by others?)
* "Has she displayed the action of already throwing me back into
the water?"
(I have not been enough of a challenge or have thrown myself
onto her boat)
* "Am I making her feel like I MAY be obtainable?"
(do I capitalize on her own narcissism to give her the HOPE of
catching me?)
During this, you do not tell her, directly, as the fish, "I am the
prize catfish". It must be obvious in her interpretation of what
she sees and experiences with you.
You don't stick a little blue flag in your gills to say "Here I am,
fisherwoman!" but you do put yourself into places and situations
where she is bound to notice you and want to catch you.
The hardest you should work initially is to ensure she has gotten
to this stage - the initial desire to WANT to catch you. Because
if you don't get to that point, all you are doing is swimming
around her boat trying to get her attention as if you are the one
who is trying to be caught.
No, this is not the plot for a new movie about a talking purple
fish and his ca-r-azy lifelong search for his soulmate.
Picture for a moment picking up women is like the analogy of
"fishing". I know, it may seem like a lazy analogy used by many,
but I will make it even more relevant:
Old way of thinking: You may believe yourself to be the fisherman.
You are selective about what fishies you want to catch and what
lures you will use.
This is an old-time analogy where someone tells you, "Would you
bait a fish with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Of course
not. You bait the fish with what they want. You don't eat worms
but fish do."
One can't argue with that but at the end of the day, other than
reminding us all of something blatantly obvious that tends to be
overlooked, it's not applicable as PRACTICAL advice.
Instead, YOU are the fish. This is your NEW way of thinking.
You're a prize quality catfish swimming in the largest water
resource fished by the greatest fisherwomen around. You are a
prize catch and that is where you've chosen to swim.
It is your destiny to be caught but you do not want to be caught by
some lowly random fisherwoman. You want to end up on the cover of
"Fisherwoman Monthly" as the prize of the best out there.
Does this prize catfish take any old bait? Does this prize catfish
jump into any nearby boat? Even if the top fisherwoman is nearby,
do you jump into her boat and while gasping for water bubble out
the words "Here I am, fisherwoman!"?
No, you want to LURE the top fisherwoman to catch you... you want
to bring yourself around but not take her bait so easily.
You know your destiny is to be caught but you don't want her to
drop just any old worm bait. She will get bored or not appreciate
the catch and throw you back in the water (after which, trying to
jump back in the boat just reaffirms why she threw you back into
the water in the first place).
You want her to work the hardest she possibly can to reel you in
and you want to fight the catch. You want her value of the prize
and make her work to win it.
You know there are undoubtedly some bigger catfish around you who
will jump into her boat at any time but they are not prizes and she
will toss them back because there is no SPORT in that.
She will see your value and you will taunt her with it. She will
try to lure you and you will make it clear her lures need to be
better, but don't make it clear to her that you're just waiting for
a good lure - make her frustrated to try multiple lures as if it is
her who has not yet figured out how to catch you.
And, finally, no matter the taunting or waiting for a better lure,
no matter how hard you make yourself to catch, on some level she
must still feel that you are OBTAINABLE, that you ARE catch-able,
so she does not give up at least trying.
Just think to yourself in this analogy when looking to be caught by
top fisherwomen:
* "Am I just jumping into her boat without a struggle?"
(she will throw me back)
* "Am I being a challenge to her?"
(she won't WANT the catch)
* "Will she prize my value if I don't make it a sport for her?"
(am I being enough of a challenge?)
* "Am I concerned about other fish who just jump right in her boat?"
(I know she will throw them back anyway)
* "Am I trying to show off my value rather than presume it and
allow her to chase the catch?"
(am I waving a silly little blue flag to get her attention?)
* "Am I showing her how much effort nearby fisherwomen are putting
in to try to catch me?"
(will she see my value as seen by others?)
* "Has she displayed the action of already throwing me back into
the water?"
(I have not been enough of a challenge or have thrown myself
onto her boat)
* "Am I making her feel like I MAY be obtainable?"
(do I capitalize on her own narcissism to give her the HOPE of
catching me?)
During this, you do not tell her, directly, as the fish, "I am the
prize catfish". It must be obvious in her interpretation of what
she sees and experiences with you.
You don't stick a little blue flag in your gills to say "Here I am,
fisherwoman!" but you do put yourself into places and situations
where she is bound to notice you and want to catch you.
The hardest you should work initially is to ensure she has gotten
to this stage - the initial desire to WANT to catch you. Because
if you don't get to that point, all you are doing is swimming
around her boat trying to get her attention as if you are the one
who is trying to be caught.
That's not very inspiring.. i'm going to stick to the DJ bible and work on being a man instead of a chump.