DrJackle
New Member
WARNING - Long Post
Sorry guys, but I don't want to create missunderstandings by leaving out info.
Hi y'all,
I've been reading quite some posts on this DJ Forum and other material about DJ-ing. A lot of things have become more clear for me, and I begin to see what I did right/wrong in the past. (Being an AFC, no doubt about that)
Normally I do my own thing, figuring out my next steps when it comes to women. But this time, I'm kind of confussed... Here's the story.
About 4 years ago, I went on a party-holiday with my friends. During one of the Big Nights Out, we encountered a group of real cute girls and it turned out that they were from Holland too. I started a conversation with one of them (called V.), and was talking for about 1,5 hour (I know now that convos need to be short and straigth to the #/* close, but back then I was oblivious)
After that, they went to a different club and me and me mates stayed in the club we were at that moment. To keep the story short, I got one of the girls # (not V's but one of her friends number, lets call her G1.)
~ Flash Forward ~
This second girl (G1.) has become the girlfriend of one of my mates (after the holiday they got together after about 1,5 years of 'loose contact')
During that holiday, V. had a boyfriend...
But, last year, V. broke up with him after 5 years. Then, she got 'wild' and had another 2 relationships, but finally broke up again and is single now.
In my eyes, she's really hot! (8,5 - 9) But still approachable in an easy way. When I heard about her being single again, I saw an oppertunity to make my moves. So, I sent her an email, asking if her email is still valid after 4 years. It was and since then we email 'bout once a week.
After a couple of emails, I thought it was time to take some ACTION. So I set up this 'shop-date'. My idea was "not to create too much tension"...
This 'date' was last saturday (she cancelled a get-together with her ex for it!) and it was GREAT! The setting was right, nice weather, good 'sales' and no awkward silences.
Then, we went to my place (I still live at my parents
) and had dinner, together with my friend and G1., which is her direct friend, so a lot of happiness in one room
After dinner we got ready to get to this beachparty, for which she also 'dumped her ex' because the line-up of DJs was excellent.
When we arrived, the crowd was huge! About 25,000 people, all having a great time. But, among these people, there was this brother of G1. (lets call him Bt.). Bt. had a friend with him, musculine, funny, confident... you know the type (AMOG)
This is where I let the line go slack. I've noticed before that I don't have any convo-spirit with V. when we're in a group and with this AMOG in the hood, I really choked.
AMOG and V. got allong pretty well, as far as I can tell. (She laughing, getting light for her sigaret from him etc. ) In the meanwhile, I started approaching other girls, having fun with some of them, getting rejected by others...
My dillema is, did I do the right thing by not spending that much attention to her anymore (while letting AMOG do his thing, and this way 'erase' the memory of V. and I spending a very good day in town?) Also, not having anything to discuss with her anymore, all of a sudden, what would she think about that?
After the beachparty, we went to this club for an afterparty. I became more and more silent, being tired and feeling a bit yealous... And not having any other girl around with who I would like to have a convo with of any kind.
The next day, I sent V. a textmessage in the late afternoon, saying I enjoyed spending the day with her and asking her some question about an item she had bought that day (mentioning this to get her thinking about the shoppingdate )
She replied (20:31h) that she spent the day with AMOG, Bt. and another friend of hers. She spent the night at the house of Bt. and AMOG stayed over too. But also that she enjoyed the whole saturday ( ofcourse )
I don't know if anything happend between AMOG and her, but that's the problem!
Coming saturday, V. will go on a holiday with her parents and younger sister (also a 9 BTW) and I got this feeling I need to get in contact with her before she leaves, or else the next time we might get in contact is after a couple of weeks... I know this sounds AFCish, but during this possible radiosilence, things might cool down to much. It took my quite some work to get her cancelling the get-together with her ex.
She also lives about 1,5 hours away from me, but that problem was the same for my friend and his G1. After 3 years their gonna move in together halfway between his and her hometown... So distance is not a real issue IMO. Writting this makes me reallize I might be in 'LTR-material MODE' too much...
It's not that I really focus on ONLY this thing to work out. I try to set up multiple dates with other (attractive) girls, so I don't put V. on a peddistal (too much), but V. is the one I feel most attracted to.
I had that feeling from day one -> 4 years ago, and now my time has come!! She's free, I'm free.
Three months ago was the first time since years that I saw V. again.
That night V. said to G1 that I was looking pretty good (and G1 shared this knowledge with her BF, my friend, which in turn shared that knowledge with me)
Furthermore, in the last three months, I went to some parties where V. was too. But like I said, the 'choke-in-groups' thing kicked in. We had some convo, but not worth mentioning. Still, she gave me a couple of compliments here and there. One-on-one it's like we've known eachother for years, not having any barriers of any kind. Weird ey?
Ok, I think things are clear now. Please let me know what you guys think about this, point out my weaknesses and help me overcome these
A strategy for coming weeks is always appreciated
For now, one love and keep Sargin',
Dr Jackle
Sorry guys, but I don't want to create missunderstandings by leaving out info.
Hi y'all,
I've been reading quite some posts on this DJ Forum and other material about DJ-ing. A lot of things have become more clear for me, and I begin to see what I did right/wrong in the past. (Being an AFC, no doubt about that)
Normally I do my own thing, figuring out my next steps when it comes to women. But this time, I'm kind of confussed... Here's the story.
About 4 years ago, I went on a party-holiday with my friends. During one of the Big Nights Out, we encountered a group of real cute girls and it turned out that they were from Holland too. I started a conversation with one of them (called V.), and was talking for about 1,5 hour (I know now that convos need to be short and straigth to the #/* close, but back then I was oblivious)
After that, they went to a different club and me and me mates stayed in the club we were at that moment. To keep the story short, I got one of the girls # (not V's but one of her friends number, lets call her G1.)
~ Flash Forward ~
This second girl (G1.) has become the girlfriend of one of my mates (after the holiday they got together after about 1,5 years of 'loose contact')
During that holiday, V. had a boyfriend...
But, last year, V. broke up with him after 5 years. Then, she got 'wild' and had another 2 relationships, but finally broke up again and is single now.
In my eyes, she's really hot! (8,5 - 9) But still approachable in an easy way. When I heard about her being single again, I saw an oppertunity to make my moves. So, I sent her an email, asking if her email is still valid after 4 years. It was and since then we email 'bout once a week.
After a couple of emails, I thought it was time to take some ACTION. So I set up this 'shop-date'. My idea was "not to create too much tension"...
This 'date' was last saturday (she cancelled a get-together with her ex for it!) and it was GREAT! The setting was right, nice weather, good 'sales' and no awkward silences.
Then, we went to my place (I still live at my parents
) and had dinner, together with my friend and G1., which is her direct friend, so a lot of happiness in one room After dinner we got ready to get to this beachparty, for which she also 'dumped her ex' because the line-up of DJs was excellent.
When we arrived, the crowd was huge! About 25,000 people, all having a great time. But, among these people, there was this brother of G1. (lets call him Bt.). Bt. had a friend with him, musculine, funny, confident... you know the type (AMOG)
This is where I let the line go slack. I've noticed before that I don't have any convo-spirit with V. when we're in a group and with this AMOG in the hood, I really choked.
AMOG and V. got allong pretty well, as far as I can tell. (She laughing, getting light for her sigaret from him etc. ) In the meanwhile, I started approaching other girls, having fun with some of them, getting rejected by others...
My dillema is, did I do the right thing by not spending that much attention to her anymore (while letting AMOG do his thing, and this way 'erase' the memory of V. and I spending a very good day in town?) Also, not having anything to discuss with her anymore, all of a sudden, what would she think about that?
After the beachparty, we went to this club for an afterparty. I became more and more silent, being tired and feeling a bit yealous... And not having any other girl around with who I would like to have a convo with of any kind.
The next day, I sent V. a textmessage in the late afternoon, saying I enjoyed spending the day with her and asking her some question about an item she had bought that day (mentioning this to get her thinking about the shoppingdate
)She replied (20:31h) that she spent the day with AMOG, Bt. and another friend of hers. She spent the night at the house of Bt. and AMOG stayed over too. But also that she enjoyed the whole saturday ( ofcourse
)I don't know if anything happend between AMOG and her, but that's the problem!
Coming saturday, V. will go on a holiday with her parents and younger sister (also a 9 BTW) and I got this feeling I need to get in contact with her before she leaves, or else the next time we might get in contact is after a couple of weeks... I know this sounds AFCish, but during this possible radiosilence, things might cool down to much. It took my quite some work to get her cancelling the get-together with her ex.
She also lives about 1,5 hours away from me, but that problem was the same for my friend and his G1. After 3 years their gonna move in together halfway between his and her hometown... So distance is not a real issue IMO. Writting this makes me reallize I might be in 'LTR-material MODE' too much...
It's not that I really focus on ONLY this thing to work out. I try to set up multiple dates with other (attractive) girls, so I don't put V. on a peddistal (too much), but V. is the one I feel most attracted to.
I had that feeling from day one -> 4 years ago, and now my time has come!! She's free, I'm free.
Three months ago was the first time since years that I saw V. again.
That night V. said to G1 that I was looking pretty good (and G1 shared this knowledge with her BF, my friend, which in turn shared that knowledge with me)
Furthermore, in the last three months, I went to some parties where V. was too. But like I said, the 'choke-in-groups' thing kicked in. We had some convo, but not worth mentioning. Still, she gave me a couple of compliments here and there. One-on-one it's like we've known eachother for years, not having any barriers of any kind. Weird ey?
Ok, I think things are clear now. Please let me know what you guys think about this, point out my weaknesses and help me overcome these
A strategy for coming weeks is always appreciated
For now, one love and keep Sargin',
Dr Jackle
