LOL - Bash.org

[Nex]

#375071 +(1557)- [X]

<cow_crap> ok I came to class early one day, considerably early
<cow_crap> and there's a girl there that I'm quite taken aback by
<cow_crap> and she said "wow, you came early" and I said, without thinking, "that's what all the girls say"
<cow_crap> I am such a ****ing idiot
<cow_crap> she laughed at me for like 15 mins

LOL!

http://www.bash.org

Go laugh your asses off!

 

[Mr. Delicious]

Originally posted by Nex
#375071 +(1557)- [X]

<cow_crap> ok I came to class early one day, considerably early
<cow_crap> and there's a girl there that I'm quite taken aback by
<cow_crap> and she said "wow, you came early" and I said, without thinking, "that's what all the girls say"
<cow_crap> I am such a ****ing idiot
<cow_crap> she laughed at me for like 15 mins

LOL!

http://www.bash.org

Go laugh your asses off!

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[TyTe`EyEs]

There is some funny sh1t on here.


#458579 +(788)- [X]

comf0rtabiynumb: The scare tactics line is awesome
comf0rtabiynumb: I'd jump someone in an alley.
comf0rtabiynumb: Get ready to beat them with a bat, and then say, "Are you scared? You shouldnt be! Youre on scare tactics! Haha! your friend set you up!"
comf0rtabiynumb: And then, when they start laughing and their guard is down BAAM! Beat the **** out of them and take their wallet




This one was pretty messed up though.



#464441 +(-452)- [X]

<Tisp> <P^DERX> I had a girlfriend a while back. I got really sick, and she came over to give me brownies and a tape of the Simpsons. As she left I starting eating the brownies and popped in the tape, about mid-way through, the tape cut to her sucking some other guy off, she looked at the camera and said "You've just been dumped" and then proceeded to spit his *** into a bowl of brownie mix.

 

[Nex]

Yeah, I know what you're saying.

Check out the top 100.

I'm about to become a moderator.

 

[TyTe`EyEs]

Good sh1t!




t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

 

[Vincent]

Originally posted by Nex
Yeah, I know what you're saying.

Check out the top 100.

I'm about to become a moderator.

My favorite one is the marshmellow one. That's a classic.

 

[diplomatic_lie]

Haha, here's some of the finest:


<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can ****?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.

<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

 

[Albion4]

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Best of them all.

-Al

 

[Scrumtulescence]

THE Best:

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick f*ckers)
<anamexis> :<

hahahaha

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Originally posted by Albion4
Best of them all.

-Al

That's from a sitcom for a standup bit or something.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit


<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Thank you for listening to me.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> You know your a really good listener.
<xxxGirlygirlxxx> Sweety please say something.
<Sandaedar> Ok I'm back.



hahahaa

 

[Vincent]

I'm stupid.

\/ \/ \/ that one's my favorite.

 

[TyTe`EyEs]

Vincent, I thought you were talking about this one:


Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh ****!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

 

[Nex]

#22793 +(722)- [X]

<klockwerk> If you were on a bus full of gay guys would you get off?
<cornelius> yeah
<cornelius> wait... no
<cornelius> ****

LOL, This site consumes so much time.

 

[MetalFortress]

#287414 +(9031)- [X]

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy ****.
<DeadMansHand> i ****ing hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im ****ing going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep ****.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you ****. Ken's going to be worrying about this **** all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> ****ing ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that ****er buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh ****.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was


HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

 

[Luscious]

This site is just damn funny because almost all of the humour is purely situational. It's quick wit, I love this stuff.

I think my favorite one I saw was:

Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

And:

"You know, the trouble with cocaine is that the "...but I didn't inhale" excuse doesn't work too well."

 

[Vincent]

Originally posted by TyTe`EyEs
Vincent, I thought you were talking about this one:


Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh ****!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

Oh snap, I didn't even read the one I posted... Woops

 

[MetalFortress]

Hahaha, a celebrity of our time caught in a more personal moment.,..

#203247 +(2641)- [X]

<@maddox> ****!
<@maddox> my mom just found my website
<+DMTec> isn't she proud?
<+khoveraki> ha
<@naken> you've been on tv 2 times, in the newspapers several times, been banned from a country, has 40 million pageviews
<@naken> and you didn't tell your mother?
<@maddox> "what is this? Did you draw this? It looks like a penis." "No mom, I didn't draw a penis"
<+DMTec> ROFL
<+DMTec> "no mom, i didn't draw a penis" thats good
<@maddox> now she's crying
<RichK> haha, your mom doesn't know about your website?
<@maddox> (on the phone)
<+DMTec> maddox: did she see the "suprise - I have a penis"-greeting card?
<@maddox> dmtec: oh ****, I forgot about that.. yeah I guess I did draw a penis.
<RichK> bahahahaha
<@maddox> hahahahahaha she just said "I wish I would have died and not raised you"
<+khoveraki> rofl
<@maddox> she hung up
<RichK> You are dispwned maddox

 

[Nex]

#389483 +(771)- [X]

<TomTheBomb> what the most racist thing in the world?
<|Snaker|> erm
<|Snaker|> most racist thing in the world?
<TomTheBomb> a sprinkler
<|Snaker|> ..
<HongKongKilla|TMNT> lol?
<TomTheBomb> they go chinkchinkchinkchinkchinkchink SPIC nigganigganigganigganigga



HAAHAAAHHHAHAHA
i'm sorry as it relates to race


#23117 +(815)- [X]

*** DADDDDDY has joined #hockey2
<DADDDDDY> HONK
<DADDDDDY> PIMPIN' AINT EASY
<FredSmyth> PIMPIN' IS QUITE DIFFICULT
<Eulogy_> PIMPIN HAS PROVED TO BE MORE WORK THAN I FIRST ASSUMED
<Maltby> THE DIFFICULTY IN THE OCCUPATION OF PIMPIN' IS EXPONENTIALLY MORE COMPLEX THAN FIRST BELIEVED
<DADDDDDY> FAGS
*** DADDDDDY has quit IRC