LJBF'ing women

[Sweetcheeks]

I'd like to know your opinions on making attractive women who are attracted/interested in you into "JUST FRIENDS".

The reason I am asking is that I have a girlfriend that I am very happy with and have no intentions of cheating on. At the same time, I enjoy the company of attractive women.

The dilemma is, it seems that more than a few of these women sem to be, based on IOI, interested in my romantically, despite some of them being in relationships and knowing I am in one, also.

I don't intend on ever being unfaithful, and I never have been in over 13 years of dating.

How should this be handled?

 

[DJDamage]

I think what you are proposing is a recipe for disaster. Instead of wasting energy looking for attractive female friends, why not work on your game to either:

a) try to succeed in maintaining your current relationship or make it better.

b) break up with her and date several women at the same time.

It sounds to me like you would rather date several women and you feel a bit antsy being in LTR. Why would you want an attractive female friends? is it to put them on the backburner in case your relationship doesn't work out so you can give them a shout when things go bad??!! or you are hoping you would possibly find someone better??!!

Wanting attractive female friends is like putting a steak dinner in front of you and telling you that you can only smell but you can't eat it. Eventually temptation will be too much to bear.

 

[Sweetcheeks]

Good advice.

Your assessment of the situation is excellent, and somewhat accurate.

I'll admit to being greedy. I want to have my cake and eat it, too.

I AM happy with my girlfriend. I don't want to love anyone else.

I derive some sense of validation from attractive women fawning over me. I think many men do.

I have 3 married friends who have been with their wives for years. They are attractive, dynamic, fun people, and hot women often throw themselves at them. They enjoy the attention, but have NEVER been unfaithful, despite numerous opportunities.

However, I DO have some trust issues, and some of my former PUA friends have a rule - always have backups.

I'm good with discipline. I am confident that my baser instincts won't take over my sense of values.

I'm thinking that these women will be useful as Social Proof to increase my LTR's awareness regarding my worth (which is already quite high, from what I can tell).

I won't be lying to anyone. I DO intend to LJBF with these women. They can take me or leave me AS A FRIEND. If they want to play second-string and are cool with that, would it really be my fault, if I've already laid things out to them?

I've actually lost about a half-dozen "female friends" over the years when they realized I didn't want to be any more than "friends" with them.

 

[Sweetcheeks]

What is my other option?

What is my other choice? To only have female friends that AREN'T attracted to me? Tried it, it didn't work.

I was a student nurse, and most of my female "friends" tried to make a move on me, despite half of them having boyfriends.

Should I only hang out with ugly girls with no self esteem, that are TOO SCARED to make a move on me because they know I'm out of their league?

 

[DJDamage]

Why don't you and your PUA buddies create a heram of women as friends? This way you keep all the women as acquietences and when you guys go out, you give those hot women a call to join you guys. This way you don't need to get close to them and they to you because you won't leave the group structure of seeing them one on one, but you will still get your "validation" without getting really close to them.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

If you were happy with your GF, you wouldn't be considering this and posting on this forum about it.

But the real easy way to decide this is to consult your terrific GF about it and let her know you have attractive girl-friends. Men and women being 'just friends' (before intimacy is resolved) is such horsesh!t, stop fooling yourself. Really, it's OK to admit to yourself that you'd like to knock it out with these women.

 

[NewMan]

The reason I am asking is that I have a girlfriend that I am very happy with and have no intentions of cheating on. At the same time, I enjoy the company of attractive women.

this means one of two things:

1) Your the male version of an attention ho. Low self esteem and always needing validation from members of the opposite sex.

2) Your not fully happy in your relationship.

I really have to question the validity of a relationship based on social proof. What kind of GF do you have, that is cool with you bringing around "grilfriends" who are all over you? or perhaps is she doing the same?

I don't want to love anyone else.

Love?

I'm thinking that these women will be useful as Social Proof to increase my LTR's awareness regarding my worth (which is already quite high, from what I can tell).

Love - is it? - then why play games?


Why not, instead of wasting your time and energy figuring out how to LJBF hot chicks, so that it makes you feel better, work on yourself, the DJ way.

 

[Sweetcheeks]

Question

Would it be safe to assume, for those of you that believe the "Just Friends" with the opposite gender thing is Horse****, that you either:

A) Have NO attractive girl-friends

OR

B) Are SLEEPING with all the attractive women that you are friends with?

If that is the case, do you break off ALL TIES with attractive women when you are in a LTR, and STOP MEETING attractive women as friends?

On a side note, although I DO consider myself quite a catch (which is why LJBF'ing these women is EVEN AN OPTION/DILEMMA), I STILL intend to work on improving myself.

Which is why I post questions like this on the forum.

 

[MacAvoy]

Well the easiest way to do it wouldnt be to LJBF them, but to act AFC so that they will naturally LJBF you, and then you can be there emotional tampon while boning your old lady.

 

[blueangel83]

This thread makes me laugh!