List of Essential Things a Man Should Have Done/Know by Age 25:

[jhonny9546]

I have always wanted to create a list of essential actions for mature men. For example, maintaining good hygiene involves a daily routine: showering, cleaning, using fragrance, grooming, moisturizing, etc. When compiling a list of necessary actions for this stage of life, what should be included?
Some suggest that men should focus solely on one pursuit, being selfish, dominant, and obsessive about it. While this approach works for some, it may not suit everyone and can lead to sleepless nights. Here is a list of things a father should have taught, or we can help with, to enhance one's standing in society. This list aims to guide a more mature man, not induce FOMO.


List of Essential Things a Man Should Have Done/Know by Age 25:

Self-Image and Lifestyle: Establish a routine for fitness, nutrition, fashion, and grooming.

Continuous Development: Engage in ongoing learning and personal growth, including completing higher education or professional training.

Career or Entrepreneurship: Pursue a fulfilling career or entrepreneurial path.

Time and Financial Management: Learn to manage time, budget, save money, and make wise financial decisions.

Travel: Explore and visit places abroad and in your home country.

Hobbies and Interests: Cultivate personal hobbies and interests not tied to income.

Conflict Resolution: Experience and resolve conflicts, understanding self-defense and protection of others.

Social Inclusion: Participate in social traditions and norms.

Culinary Skills: Learn to cook for yourself and others.

Relationships: Experience various types of relationships, from casual to serious.

Emotional Intelligence: Manage stress, anxiety, fear, and emotions effectively.

Social and Emotional Skills: Communicate effectively, use humor, and be assertive when needed.

Responsibility: Take care of home, family, friends, and possessions.

Humor: Develop a sense of humor.

Psychology: Understand human behavior for personal and others' well-being.

Goal Setting: Establish and pursue personal goals with resilience.

Adaptability: Put yourself in challenging situations to build resilience.



Feel free to add any relevant observations or edits to enhance this list further.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Jhonny,
What about some hands on skills?After getting a tool box,gradually get together a range of tools,maybe buy one every pay day,then learn to:hang a picture,Rewasher a tap,change an electrical switch,change the oil,swap the oil filter,Plugs,Light Globes on your car....If you have a Back Yard learn how to fix a cantankerous mower,build up the soil and plant a veggie plot,that's before we think of survival skills like getting on first name terms with the Washing Machine,iron and Stove top LOL.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

It's a good list but a bit topical so I'll dive into a few things.

A mindfulness practice works wonders when applied consistently. For focus, for patience, for kindness, for understanding.

On the topic of being selfish, it's a balancing act that requires mindfulness. Focus on yourself until you feel so joyous, so satisfied with your life that you can't help but share your experiences with others. If you ever start to feel like you've overextended (this is usually sensed as bubbled up resentment) then focus again on yourself until you are once again coming from abundance.

I've found this pretty tricky personally. I may feel I'm coming from abundance and later find myself resenting the person for not honoring my actions as I do, so I reason that I was actually coming from a place of attachment and expected a particular outcome in my favor, contrary to my intentions. This again has to be balanced with the types of people I believe deserve my time and attention.

If my actions aren't honored, is it because I'm too attached and insecure or is it simply feedback telling me to find new friends because I have standards?

And on the topic of humor, it has its place. But very often people use humor as a guise for ignorance or laziness. Stay vigilant about when and where people attempt to inject humor, and develop your own principles for it. It's natural to identify with your work (even though it's risky), but I find that humor goes out the window when I'm working hard, it's a distraction. So when a coworker is constantly joking around, I usually correctly assume that they're not really pushing themselves or otherwise half assing things.

The alternative, and the goal for every endeavor imo, is to push and work extremely hard on the task at hand without attaching or identifying with it at all. This is a lifelong exercise as it's incredibly difficult to do well, but it's the key to coming from abundance. If you can work on things intensely, wear yourself down doing them, and simply love the process with no attachment to the result, then you are in a very small camp of enlightened people.

I second the entrepreneurship. Running your own business is a very potent means to learn about yourself and the world. You'll also develop a newfound respect for the owner of your day job, and will act more like a partner than a cog/drone because you'll have experienced similar growing pains.

I second the travelling. Travelling and networking abroad are also something I'd suggest. It's very powerful if you can make solid connections in different countries. Not only will you have friends to visit all over the world, but you can work together to skirt bogus sanctions or other shortsighted regulatory oversight. You can also leverage exchange rates for business ventures.

On the topic of exercise, it will affect your mood and thoughts more than anything. Neurons and glia are found all over the body, not just in the brain. A cats brain worth of neurons lives in your stomach alone, the 'gut feeling'. Simply stretching once an hour if you have a sedentary job is enough to feel amazing. Frequently visiting a gym and methodically chiseling your body is another life long practice. Find aesthetic and dietary goals, experiment, fine tune your system for exactly what you want to do. It's a shame to have control over such sophisticated machinery as the human body and not leveraging it effectively.

The biggest flaw most people have, especially under 25, is a consistent underestimating of the self. The sooner you can get your hands dirty with life's challenges, the sooner you can shatter these glass ceilings and develop a robust trust in your own abilities. I find that consistently tracking workouts and exercise is a great way to see this underestimating firsthand. You may think you can only run that mile in 10 minutes, then find that you did it in 8. Then you have to wonder what the time would have been if your mind was focused on a sub 7 min mile all along.

This may be a bit controversial but I'd also recommend starting a lifelong psychonautics practice. Experiment with sensory deprivation, breath play(such as wim hof), and therapeutic doses of substances that have shown clinical benefits. This really deserves a long thread of it's own since the youth have little to no respect for substances and treat them as party drugs(very ignorant and dangerous). The purpose of these substances is much more profound than that, and showing immense respect and care for them is essential to make any significant progress. There's no debate that it can show connections in your mind and body that you've been neglecting or were oblivious to, areas in dire need of attention. These realizations can be life shattering, but you shouldn't shy away from them. Introspection and self realization can happen gradually through meditation, but there are local minimas that you may never escape due to ignorance or fear. This is where I personally use what I call controlled trauma through alternate states of consciousness. Forcing a state of mind through controlled physical ingestion is incredibly powerful, you already do it with your diet without paying much attention. I've personally found immense benefit when intentionally working through past trauma this way. I was able to recognize long firmly held beliefs that were toxic at their core, and transform them. I'm not done, always a work in progress.

I am by no means advocating irresponsible use of anything illegal. You should always do immense research and be extremely methodical with your practice. If it doesn't feel right then wait, research, and take things slow.

 

[Murk]

25 is too young imo, 10 years ago I didn’t know or have sh1t, I was a mess. At 35 it’s night and day.

Learn to be self sufficient and fearless in pursuit of your goals. Optimise confidence. Prioritise aquiring money, invest, don’t succumb to addiction, don’t get anyone pregnant unless you see potential and are financially secure. Workout and eat healthy.

Ideally you want to be self employed, or have a career path/skill set that stands you in good stead into your 50s. Recession proof. Most of you reading this could go self employed and make bank, work on what’s stopping you from doing that.

Cut off undesirable people, stay true to your morals and ethics (links back to confidence).

I repeat, don’t get some hoe pregnant and never settle for a woman because you’re comfortable.

 

[Velasco]

Life doesn't end at 25. You have your whole lifetime to do what you want to do before the ride ends

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Way too much planning. Just live life and enjoy. Things will work out. Life isn’t that serious.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Human life has no inherent value. One has to work to be of value. Keep polishing your mental acuity. That’s all you got to know.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Women are ultimately judged by their beauty, men are ultimately judged by their usefulness

Luckily, men can be useful in many more ways than women. Men are also less concerned with outside judgement, meaning you will be content with any number of directions in life.

Your usefulness to women will change as you age. When you're young, you're a means of flattery and fun. As you become a man, you're expected to do those things, plus provide for and nurture women, because they are basically like children in their minds.

You need to develop a strong sense of confidence in yourself, and you achieve this by trial and error. Take pride in your failures. It takes a long time to become a man worth his salt

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Hi Jhonny,
What about some hands on skills?After getting a tool box,gradually get together a range of tools,maybe buy one every pay day,then learn to:hang a picture,Rewasher a tap,change an electrical switch,change the oil,swap the oil filter,Plugs,Light Globes on your car....If you have a Back Yard learn how to fix a cantankerous mower,build up the soil and plant a veggie plot,that's before we think of survival skills like getting on first name terms with the Washing Machine,iron and Stove top LOL.

"A man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I think if your still channeling your manhood through generalizations it's only because your in denial about where you actually rank in the hierarchy of men, truth is none of these hold any weight and is a waste of time until it isn't and then your gonna fail.

Failure should not be this thing to fear, steer or create lists to get away from.

You know what makes a man? His response to failure, if you haven't failed recently your untested and don't know where your limitations are; for a grown man to be unaware of his limitations is the height of ignorance, respecting those limitations is another story.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

reminds me of a long post written by a guy who claims to be an expert in social dynamics