Dante420
Master Don Juan
Can someone link me to a good post. My minds made up, I don't want anything new. I want her.
Link To Good Thread on Getting Ex Back?
- Thread starter Dante420
- Start date
oh God. We got another AFC on fire, burning brightly with the glow of Oneitis.
You've been here since December, you should know already that such threads don't exist, because DJ's don't pull that ****.
You have Oneitis and now is the time for you to break it. YOU ARE BEING AN AFC. At this point you are going to have an incredibly strong urge to ignore any and all good advice, BUT you must remember that YOU CAME TO THIS SITE FOR A REASON... That reason being: OTHERS HERE KNOW A LOT MORE THAN YOU, AND YOU KNOW IT.
No contact with her, period, ever. You're on permanent timeout with her. If you want to be depressed and whiny because you can't live with The Only Girl You Ever Loved Oh Boo-Hoo and not try to build attraction with other girls while you pout to yourself and agonize about how the world has ended for you, that's fine. BUT YOU CANT TALK TO HER ANYMORE UNTIL TIME/EXPERIENCE HAVE ERODED YOUR EMOTIONAL BONDS TO HER. That should be about 12 months at an absolute minimum. So you can't talk to her for a year. Keep that number in your head. If you incidentally bump into her during class or in public, etc., you treat her like your a hypochondriac and she's a leper.
Here's something you can do in the meantime, until you have re-ignited some interest in seducing other females:
Read the DJ Bible
Read old posts by Rollo Tomassi and joekerr31
Read the Mature Man Forum (but don't you dare post in it unless you're 25 or older)
If you refuse this advice, which I'm banking that you will -- because most Oneitis chumps do, and you don't seem any different-- there is a website called LoveShack.org. They are big merry forum of fellow AFC's-in-denial, with whom you can mingle and they will give you some ridiculous advice that will install you as your ex-gf's personal lapdog. And that's probably what you want anyway, chump. You don't have the power to say No so you're gonna beg and cry your way into your ex's arms and she will pluck you up off the ground and pat your head and give you a doggie-treat, and you will think yourself a Great Strong Man once more.
You can not and will not ever be anything more than in her eyes until you have broken the emotional bonds you have with her. And by the time THAT happens, you should have realized that no woman is any different from her, and that you have no patience for any woman who cheats on you. But yeah, if you want to just AFC it out and get her back, go to loveshack.org, take their advice and make a queer out of yourself, because sosuave.net doesn't have any time for that garbage.
You've been here since December, you should know already that such threads don't exist, because DJ's don't pull that ****.
You have Oneitis and now is the time for you to break it. YOU ARE BEING AN AFC. At this point you are going to have an incredibly strong urge to ignore any and all good advice, BUT you must remember that YOU CAME TO THIS SITE FOR A REASON... That reason being: OTHERS HERE KNOW A LOT MORE THAN YOU, AND YOU KNOW IT.
No contact with her, period, ever. You're on permanent timeout with her. If you want to be depressed and whiny because you can't live with The Only Girl You Ever Loved Oh Boo-Hoo and not try to build attraction with other girls while you pout to yourself and agonize about how the world has ended for you, that's fine. BUT YOU CANT TALK TO HER ANYMORE UNTIL TIME/EXPERIENCE HAVE ERODED YOUR EMOTIONAL BONDS TO HER. That should be about 12 months at an absolute minimum. So you can't talk to her for a year. Keep that number in your head. If you incidentally bump into her during class or in public, etc., you treat her like your a hypochondriac and she's a leper.
Here's something you can do in the meantime, until you have re-ignited some interest in seducing other females:
Read the DJ Bible
Read old posts by Rollo Tomassi and joekerr31
Read the Mature Man Forum (but don't you dare post in it unless you're 25 or older)
If you refuse this advice, which I'm banking that you will -- because most Oneitis chumps do, and you don't seem any different-- there is a website called LoveShack.org. They are big merry forum of fellow AFC's-in-denial, with whom you can mingle and they will give you some ridiculous advice that will install you as your ex-gf's personal lapdog. And that's probably what you want anyway, chump. You don't have the power to say No so you're gonna beg and cry your way into your ex's arms and she will pluck you up off the ground and pat your head and give you a doggie-treat, and you will think yourself a Great Strong Man once more.
You can not and will not ever be anything more than in her eyes until you have broken the emotional bonds you have with her. And by the time THAT happens, you should have realized that no woman is any different from her, and that you have no patience for any woman who cheats on you. But yeah, if you want to just AFC it out and get her back, go to loveshack.org, take their advice and make a queer out of yourself, because sosuave.net doesn't have any time for that garbage.
Dante420
Master Don Juan
I'm not desperate, but thanks for the advice
If you weren't desperate, you wouldn't be trying to get her back, you'd move on to someone else.
But you think your personalities click just right and that she's the best you can get... When she CHEATED ON YOU. Read my signature.
Don't be in denial about things.
But you think your personalities click just right and that she's the best you can get... When she CHEATED ON YOU. Read my signature.
Don't be in denial about things.
At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Unbridled_Phoenix
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2009
- Messages
- 678
- Reaction score
- 25
Seriously dude I went through this a couple months ago, Captain is exactly right. When trying to get back the girl who cheated on you, getting her back is the kiss of death. The only way for her to respect you is if you kick her out of your life and don't look back. Ironic, eh?
The Logical Player
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2009
- Messages
- 361
- Reaction score
- 7
I think this guy is already a don juan, because based on his thread history, he's been cheating on his ex all along:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=1156819
you will notice that for months before the break up, alot of his threads were about gaming random new chicks, so hey.......if thats the case, why do you need your ex back so much???
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=1156819
you will notice that for months before the break up, alot of his threads were about gaming random new chicks, so hey.......if thats the case, why do you need your ex back so much???
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Never root through the garbage once you drag the can to the curb. You get dirty, your neighbors see you do it and you rarely find what you thought was worth digging for.
It will always be time better spent developing a new plate (or 3) than attempting to repair an old one. The amount of effort and energy, the time you invest in trying to negotiate a previous GF desire is much better used with a new girl, with whom you have no prior history. I have no doubt you're emotionally invested in this, but you're far more likely to regret the effort you expend to repair it in comparison to meeting and developing with a new girl.
Far too many guys subconsciously think that getting back with the Ex will be easier than risking potential rejection with new women. They go back to the what they think was their "sure thing", with the logic being that she'd been sexual with him before so all he's got to do is fix what was wrong and go back to that guaranteed sex. The reality is actually the opposite - what was "wrong" in the prior relationship becomes the litmus test for the 'repaired' relationship and sex and genuine desire are now conditional. Getting with a new woman has none of these conditions or prior negotiations, and genuine desire isn't a compromise.
It will always be time better spent developing a new plate (or 3) than attempting to repair an old one. The amount of effort and energy, the time you invest in trying to negotiate a previous GF desire is much better used with a new girl, with whom you have no prior history. I have no doubt you're emotionally invested in this, but you're far more likely to regret the effort you expend to repair it in comparison to meeting and developing with a new girl.
Far too many guys subconsciously think that getting back with the Ex will be easier than risking potential rejection with new women. They go back to the what they think was their "sure thing", with the logic being that she'd been sexual with him before so all he's got to do is fix what was wrong and go back to that guaranteed sex. The reality is actually the opposite - what was "wrong" in the prior relationship becomes the litmus test for the 'repaired' relationship and sex and genuine desire are now conditional. Getting with a new woman has none of these conditions or prior negotiations, and genuine desire isn't a compromise.
Dante420
Master Don Juan
Great advice, I'm gonna read it all as soon as I get home. I'm on my phone, but I think I'm getting over it, I met another girl that seems wicked interested. She has a boyfriend, but he's young enough to be able to get over it. This girl wants to hang out with me. She's in my gym class, she was the first girl who caught my eye in the class so I made a goal to get her and I did, or so I think. She seems wicked interested, we talked all class yesterday and today (yesterday was the first day). She wants to hang out. Any advice for gaming on girls in a gym class setting?
Last edited:
Dante420
Master Don Juan
I wouldn't call myself a Don Juan yet, but I'm young with a really high success rate and am not in fear of rejection. It all starts with learning to not put ***** on a pedestal and I learned that fairly young (maybe around 8th grade) and then started learning from this stuff. David DeAngelo, Derek Rake, and SoSuave, I been cheating on my girlfriend since the start of our two years, she knew about everything and stuck with me. She only cheated on me twice, but showed me complete loyalty. The first time was our first summer and she made out with a kid while on a month long vacation. Then just a few weeks ago she gave that kid head while she was drunk at her party. I cheated on her the very same night, got head from our mutual friend. And my friends newly ex girlfriend.The Logical Player said:
But yeah I've had a history of cheating, not proud of it and probably wouldn't do it again. But she stuck with me through the whole thing, even with a jump-offs that resembled relationships. She stuck with me, even while I was getting peoples numbers while I was with her.
*
The so-called relationship ran it’s course and dissolved over time for a good reason. Stepping back in time and reliving the moments seldom lasts. People do not always remain a statue. All those memories and thoughts that stir up inside of you create an illusion. Just because you think it will be like it once was does not mean it will. Going back, begging for forgiveness and saying you have changed is not realistic behavior. Dwelling on the past has a way of clouding your judgement. You end up making bad decisions that you may have to pay for down the road. Why you need to win someone back by making changes, sounds like you have some deep psychological issues, which need attention. Desperate attempts like; buying flowers, writing heart felt love letters, making CD’s, crying, begging for forgiveness, have very little effect once the attraction is gone. In fact they may come across as annoying and even take on a creepy stalker-ish persona that may do much more harm than good.
There are some general rules if you venture forth with this illogical behavior. I have said it before-absence does make the heart grow fonder. Time sometimes heals MOST wounds, meaning that maybe she/he will forget if enough time has transpired. There has to be a total truncation of all forms of communication for it to have any chance. Stop being so available; get busy with your own life. New behavior and a new look upon life slightly increase your chances with your ex. A heart felt soul-searching apology works much better than crying and begging for forgiveness. Dating someone new is a sure-fire way to create some sort of “high in demand” thoughts from an ex. Your goal here is to demonstrate you have moved on with you life and NOT to make someone jealous. If by some miracle you do get back with them, for your own sanity DO NOT do the same things you did before. In other words do not revert to your old ways or you will find yourself dumped again.
I should inform you that you could do all these things and still not get them back or you may get them back for a short period. Sometimes the old cliché` “Set love free, if it was meant to be, it will work out” actually applies. The best advice I can give you is to MOVE on. Do not think about the other person; sever all communication with them and after some time alone start dating someone new. Venture forward and not backward, learn from the mistake and adopt a new philosophy, date outside the box. Date someone that you would not normally date and you might be pleasantly surprise to where it may end up. Thinking you could never find someone that will make you feel that way again is just plain narrow minded. There are plenty of fish in the sea my friend, let it go and move on. Your thinking pattern here should be that you may find someone better. Trading up is always a good thing when it comes to getting over and ex.. A fresh new perspective may be exactly what you need.
Do you think Bad Boy types give chics they break up with a second thought………HELL NO. They move on quickly and never dwell on the past. Women adore jerks and when those relationships break up, it’s a clean break with very little ill feelings. It only becomes worse when they refuse to end it and continue to come back for more abuse. Very often, nothing good comes from going back to an ex. Women who feel a deep bond with a man are usually compelled to be with that person. If she DOES NOT feel that deep connection then you had better enjoy your limited time together, because it will never last. Women seldom stick around with someone whom they don’t feel attraction to. Allow me to say it one last time because it needs to be addressed----MOVE ON & LIFE WILL BE BETTER. A door closes then a window opens is a good cliché` to recall. Resist the urge to go back with a former love…….worse case scenario, allow a lot of time (months/years) to pass for any second chances. Best case……give her a short time thrill before she makes you ill.
Going back to an ex is going to require some internal soul searching and some time. I would suggest some retrospection into what warning signs were present early on in the so-called relationship. There are a ton of reasons why people break up, so you might want to start there. Ask yourself, what is the motivating factor behind the reason why you insist on getting back with an ex. Is it for sex, are you just bored or lonely, do u feel no one will ever treat you that great again. You should note that you there are times when you can do everything right and still not get back with an ex. Variables include your actions (cheated on them, abuse, addictions, etc), if they are dating someone new, the person’s ability to forgive and will power, loss of attraction, timing, sincerity and word usage, etc.
If you speed seduced a woman, got her in an aroused state and closed the deal…….you should leave it at that. Problems arise when you try to sustain that post coital magical moment. Women no longer are in that aroused state, they just got swept away in that moment. The attraction fizzled, the novelty effect has passed. Men who demonstrate any type of clingy behavior, one-it is, too soon often end up wondering what the heck just happened. Here’s some typical behavior patterns that almost never work.
1) LETS TALK ABOUT THIS-they just broke up with you, so immediately you want to correct this before it blows out of proportion. That’s not always a great idea as people never just flip a coin and decide to break up that minute. Fact is they have been contemplating this for some time and decided to inform you today. Resist the urge right away to work things out.
2) USING LOGIC-rationalizing, playing therapist, analyzing the person seldom works in your favor.
3) RETROSPECTING-rehashing the past, going over all the mistakes they made or the fun times you had, not sound advice to follow either.
4) IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE-accusing them of cheating, starting a new relationship is also a means to an end. Be comfortable if they have a new flavor in their lives.
5) GETTING CLOSURE-some relationships just ran their course and fizzle, some people break up via text message. Wanting closure, the why it failed answers, do not always provide you with a immediate solution, unless you’re totally clueless.
6) EMOTIONAL-getting angry, informing them you loved them, trusted them and announcing how hurt you are, is a desperate attempt to get them back. Don’t act out of desperation, stop informing them how much u miss them, love them.
7) PERSUATION TACTICS-ah yet another desperate attempt to bribe them back into your life. All the flowers, gifts, poetry, emails, guilt trips, etc ain’t going to work here. Too little too late…..sorry dude. The more a person rejects you the harder you try…….then fail.
8) I CAN CHANGE-begging, informing you will change, heartfelt apologies, saying you never knew and will try and do better in the future may sound nice but it’s actions, past behavior that will determine your fate. ANTI-ATTRACTION at it’s best
9) CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS-being a friend when you just broke up is not the best advice. Yes some people do get along better as friends then lovers, that doesn’t mean you will get back with them one day. Some think that just cause some time has passed and boredom has set in that a booty call will re-ignite the relationship……..this seldom lasts.
10) JEALOUSY- a very powerful emotion and very immature. This act rarely reaps anything long term. Flaunting a new love interest may not create the desired result you anticipated. Should be used cautiously, they will see right through you.
1) TIME HEALS MOST WOUNDS-you don’t want to call right away, allow some time to pass…..but not too much time. Nothings worse than a guy that continues to stalk (emails, IM’s, text messages, voicemail, phone calls, un-announced visits) the chic after she called it quits. The time duration in which someone gets back with an ex is crucial and varies due to contributing factors (length of time you dated, how much emotional bonding there was, type of person, new person in their life, how you broke up, etc). Regaining their trust as well as re-igniting the attraction level will require some creativity and the window of opportunity is very minute.
2) SILENCE IS GOLDEN-I know you may have a broken heart and getting rejected/dumped not to mention the silent treatment is killing you inside but you are going to have to suck it up and return the silence…….at least for awhile. Break this rule and you may cause irreparable damage. Suppress the urge to communicate with them right away. Blatantly ignoring your recent ex is not the solution, just give it some time.
3) CHANGE-actions speak volumes, make the changes you need to make in order to better yourself not just to reunite a past flame. Find the root of the break-up and incorporate a solution for future success. Word usage, sincerity and timing will play an integral part if you have any chance. Stop
4) DATE OTHERS-this will keep you pre-occupied, build your confidence back up and may even create a little jealousy if she knows your getting on fine without her. Don’t use this as a weapon to win her back but rather to demonstrate you are in demand, confident, and ok. Wanting is much more appealing than having as we always crave objects of our desire that are not easily tangible. Stop being readily available, when she calls say “not your therapist I have to get ready 4 my date”
The so-called relationship ran it’s course and dissolved over time for a good reason. Stepping back in time and reliving the moments seldom lasts. People do not always remain a statue. All those memories and thoughts that stir up inside of you create an illusion. Just because you think it will be like it once was does not mean it will. Going back, begging for forgiveness and saying you have changed is not realistic behavior. Dwelling on the past has a way of clouding your judgement. You end up making bad decisions that you may have to pay for down the road. Why you need to win someone back by making changes, sounds like you have some deep psychological issues, which need attention. Desperate attempts like; buying flowers, writing heart felt love letters, making CD’s, crying, begging for forgiveness, have very little effect once the attraction is gone. In fact they may come across as annoying and even take on a creepy stalker-ish persona that may do much more harm than good.
There are some general rules if you venture forth with this illogical behavior. I have said it before-absence does make the heart grow fonder. Time sometimes heals MOST wounds, meaning that maybe she/he will forget if enough time has transpired. There has to be a total truncation of all forms of communication for it to have any chance. Stop being so available; get busy with your own life. New behavior and a new look upon life slightly increase your chances with your ex. A heart felt soul-searching apology works much better than crying and begging for forgiveness. Dating someone new is a sure-fire way to create some sort of “high in demand” thoughts from an ex. Your goal here is to demonstrate you have moved on with you life and NOT to make someone jealous. If by some miracle you do get back with them, for your own sanity DO NOT do the same things you did before. In other words do not revert to your old ways or you will find yourself dumped again.
I should inform you that you could do all these things and still not get them back or you may get them back for a short period. Sometimes the old cliché` “Set love free, if it was meant to be, it will work out” actually applies. The best advice I can give you is to MOVE on. Do not think about the other person; sever all communication with them and after some time alone start dating someone new. Venture forward and not backward, learn from the mistake and adopt a new philosophy, date outside the box. Date someone that you would not normally date and you might be pleasantly surprise to where it may end up. Thinking you could never find someone that will make you feel that way again is just plain narrow minded. There are plenty of fish in the sea my friend, let it go and move on. Your thinking pattern here should be that you may find someone better. Trading up is always a good thing when it comes to getting over and ex.. A fresh new perspective may be exactly what you need.
Do you think Bad Boy types give chics they break up with a second thought………HELL NO. They move on quickly and never dwell on the past. Women adore jerks and when those relationships break up, it’s a clean break with very little ill feelings. It only becomes worse when they refuse to end it and continue to come back for more abuse. Very often, nothing good comes from going back to an ex. Women who feel a deep bond with a man are usually compelled to be with that person. If she DOES NOT feel that deep connection then you had better enjoy your limited time together, because it will never last. Women seldom stick around with someone whom they don’t feel attraction to. Allow me to say it one last time because it needs to be addressed----MOVE ON & LIFE WILL BE BETTER. A door closes then a window opens is a good cliché` to recall. Resist the urge to go back with a former love…….worse case scenario, allow a lot of time (months/years) to pass for any second chances. Best case……give her a short time thrill before she makes you ill.
Going back to an ex is going to require some internal soul searching and some time. I would suggest some retrospection into what warning signs were present early on in the so-called relationship. There are a ton of reasons why people break up, so you might want to start there. Ask yourself, what is the motivating factor behind the reason why you insist on getting back with an ex. Is it for sex, are you just bored or lonely, do u feel no one will ever treat you that great again. You should note that you there are times when you can do everything right and still not get back with an ex. Variables include your actions (cheated on them, abuse, addictions, etc), if they are dating someone new, the person’s ability to forgive and will power, loss of attraction, timing, sincerity and word usage, etc.
If you speed seduced a woman, got her in an aroused state and closed the deal…….you should leave it at that. Problems arise when you try to sustain that post coital magical moment. Women no longer are in that aroused state, they just got swept away in that moment. The attraction fizzled, the novelty effect has passed. Men who demonstrate any type of clingy behavior, one-it is, too soon often end up wondering what the heck just happened. Here’s some typical behavior patterns that almost never work.
1) LETS TALK ABOUT THIS-they just broke up with you, so immediately you want to correct this before it blows out of proportion. That’s not always a great idea as people never just flip a coin and decide to break up that minute. Fact is they have been contemplating this for some time and decided to inform you today. Resist the urge right away to work things out.
2) USING LOGIC-rationalizing, playing therapist, analyzing the person seldom works in your favor.
3) RETROSPECTING-rehashing the past, going over all the mistakes they made or the fun times you had, not sound advice to follow either.
4) IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE-accusing them of cheating, starting a new relationship is also a means to an end. Be comfortable if they have a new flavor in their lives.
5) GETTING CLOSURE-some relationships just ran their course and fizzle, some people break up via text message. Wanting closure, the why it failed answers, do not always provide you with a immediate solution, unless you’re totally clueless.
6) EMOTIONAL-getting angry, informing them you loved them, trusted them and announcing how hurt you are, is a desperate attempt to get them back. Don’t act out of desperation, stop informing them how much u miss them, love them.
7) PERSUATION TACTICS-ah yet another desperate attempt to bribe them back into your life. All the flowers, gifts, poetry, emails, guilt trips, etc ain’t going to work here. Too little too late…..sorry dude. The more a person rejects you the harder you try…….then fail.
8) I CAN CHANGE-begging, informing you will change, heartfelt apologies, saying you never knew and will try and do better in the future may sound nice but it’s actions, past behavior that will determine your fate. ANTI-ATTRACTION at it’s best
9) CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS-being a friend when you just broke up is not the best advice. Yes some people do get along better as friends then lovers, that doesn’t mean you will get back with them one day. Some think that just cause some time has passed and boredom has set in that a booty call will re-ignite the relationship……..this seldom lasts.
10) JEALOUSY- a very powerful emotion and very immature. This act rarely reaps anything long term. Flaunting a new love interest may not create the desired result you anticipated. Should be used cautiously, they will see right through you.
1) TIME HEALS MOST WOUNDS-you don’t want to call right away, allow some time to pass…..but not too much time. Nothings worse than a guy that continues to stalk (emails, IM’s, text messages, voicemail, phone calls, un-announced visits) the chic after she called it quits. The time duration in which someone gets back with an ex is crucial and varies due to contributing factors (length of time you dated, how much emotional bonding there was, type of person, new person in their life, how you broke up, etc). Regaining their trust as well as re-igniting the attraction level will require some creativity and the window of opportunity is very minute.
2) SILENCE IS GOLDEN-I know you may have a broken heart and getting rejected/dumped not to mention the silent treatment is killing you inside but you are going to have to suck it up and return the silence…….at least for awhile. Break this rule and you may cause irreparable damage. Suppress the urge to communicate with them right away. Blatantly ignoring your recent ex is not the solution, just give it some time.
3) CHANGE-actions speak volumes, make the changes you need to make in order to better yourself not just to reunite a past flame. Find the root of the break-up and incorporate a solution for future success. Word usage, sincerity and timing will play an integral part if you have any chance. Stop
4) DATE OTHERS-this will keep you pre-occupied, build your confidence back up and may even create a little jealousy if she knows your getting on fine without her. Don’t use this as a weapon to win her back but rather to demonstrate you are in demand, confident, and ok. Wanting is much more appealing than having as we always crave objects of our desire that are not easily tangible. Stop being readily available, when she calls say “not your therapist I have to get ready 4 my date”
Dante420
Master Don Juan
Thanks for the advice everyone.
PimpOfTheSouth
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2009
- Messages
- 170
- Reaction score
- 6
Good informative posts..
Dante420
Master Don Juan
Well I ****ed her twice and got head from her once today.