Liking a good friend

[cookieman]

Hey guys,
Well there is this girl that I got to know for about 4+ months now. Somehow despite this short amount of time we became pretty close friends. At first I didn't think of her with any romantic notions at all...but as time goes by, I am starting to feel an affection towards her - in fact, infactuation might be a even better word.
I am a few years older then her....but most probably because at the beginning I didn't feel anything towards her I did act quite brotherly-ish to her - even gave her like relationship advice and stuff...Now I probably regret this, as she has this notion that I am like a brother to her.
She just very recently broke up with her boyfriend - and I decided to make my move slowly - giving her subtle hints like I did buy her a flower to cheer her up when she was upset over the breakup, + other small sweet things... (kinda AFC-ish I know...but somehow those things adviced in this forum -alot of those techniques, I can't seem to apply it to someone I know so well..it just seems weird. It seem to work only on people you want to attract right off). She didn't seem to avoid me at all, but however at the same time she didn't give me any hints she is even slightly interested either.
Anyways I also employed the help of her best friend to test her out. She was like casually asking her whether she thinks that I like her. She said that she DID suspect, as I was treating her differently. But then she thought she is probably thinking too much as she reckons I would never like her. Her best friend pressed on and asked "what if"...But she just said that it is impossible that I would like her. Very apparently - the big brother image is too deep now...
Well from this actually I can probably tell this girl never thought about us 2 actually having a possible relationship together..at least for now (unless she wasn't telling the truth). So I think if I am to ask now I would most likely get a "no" or at best I am not ready answer. However, I think if I don't tell her, I doubt she would ever think of me as anything else but someone who will "never like her"?

What do you think guys? I would tell her...but do you think now it's the time? or should I wait and maybe continue to drop her some hints...or do the ignore her for a period of time method??

Thx

 

[b's nuts]

first of all, your AFC hints aren't going to get you anywhere. these DJ tactics do work on people you already know, and I can't stress kino enough in this situation. if you stop acting like her brother, she won't think of you as her brother. Yeah, the image is deep in her mind now, but if you put it there - you can take it out. I have had myself in a situation like this, can't stress kino enough. One last bit of advice, actually telling her is never going to work in this situation. you need to show her with your actions.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Your having as little contact as possible (pull back from her) will help.

You need to completely change the way her mind has stored you away (as a friend/Nice Guy) - to do that, the pull back, along with C&F, Kino and being sauve and sexual.

You need to read up if you don't know what I'm talking about.

It could possibly work.

 

[becker]

Situation sort of sucks for you, but at the same time, it's good since you are close to her so you will probably be one of the first guys she thinks of.

I tend to think there's an opening, however, very small, since her answers to her friend are "he'll never think of me that way". To me, there's quite a distinction between that answer, and "oh, I could never like him, he's like a brother to me". The former says that she is not beyond entertaining the thought of you two together, whereas the latter says that she is in the mindset of you two being friends and that's where she has mentally drawn the line, a line that will not easily be crossed.

What I'd suggest is for you is definitely apply more subtle kino (as b's nuts said), but be careful here, because too much suddenly may make it seem a little awkward given that your relationship is so based on a "brother-sister" premise. This is a touchy area, and I feel the wrong moves can spell disaster. You need to let time take its course, don't force the issue too much. Let things seem to more or less "fall" into place, sort of like fate.

Good luck, and keep us posted on how it goes.

 

[Slickster]

Whoa buddy you've gotta take a step back.

Congrats for having a head on your shoulders and being able to identify alot of whats going on here. Listen to your gut. You know you've made some mistakes and now is not the time to express your feelings for her.

Her actions and her words are screaming she's not interested in you. Don't worry though this can change. But you must change too. Being here is the first step. Definately do not smother her or start using kino just yet. She's got an idea of who you are and what your feelings towards her are and its not working for her. You said so yourself. Any kino attempts now will probably just drive her away. You have to jolt her perceptions of you into a new reality.

Have you read the Bible? Its all there bro you just have to read and apply to your situation.

I'm not going to go off and tell you do this or do that but the first thing you have to do is become less available to this women. You have to increase her interest level in you. The way you do that is by using the 3 C's. Confidence, Challenge, Control. (Find that one in the Bible.)

I'm not sure where you are Confidence wise but you're not being much of a Challenge to her. And definately Control your infatuation. At the first sign you're infatuated with her she'll be running. Get the idea? Women are happier pursuing than being pursued. Men who pursue are repulsive and men who get pursued are irresitable. Infatuation is weak. Lose that.

Read read read.

Good luck

 

[cookieman]

hmm...well thanks for the response so far.

I agree. I do think I have that small bit of chance that's why I am willing to try - she seems to have never entertained that thought because I have shown no interest level in the past - It's true that she didn't say it's impossible for her to like me...just imossible for me to like her...It's a situation where I need to do something to remove the so called brotherly status - however, techniques like eye-contact, conversations - basically it seem to have no effect, maybe I didn't do it right or something. But I have tried some of those things in the bible, tagged along with some niceness as well so as not to just suddenly turn into another person. Why I feel some of the stuff can't work is because we already know each other so well already.

Actually kino-wise...I have done alot alot of it already. She basically clings on me when we are walking. many other things like giving her short massage, etc etc.

MAYBE I'll try to take a step back...

 

[becker]

Start talking about other women that might be interested in you, but ask her opinion of them, whether they are right for you or not. If she reacts to this in sort of a jealous manner, then she's likely interested in you more. Catch is that you need to have other women you can talk to her about.