Let's talk about social networks

[cpddavis]

Because these are truly the way to meeting girls. I mean, you can do it at bars, parties and what not but you are nothing with out a great social network. That means your friends and hopefully friends that are not dead ends when it comes to women (and women who aren't either).

I've taken some time out of my professional life to write my novel and play in bands, at 29-30 years old and that involved me taking a job at a restaurant. Honestly, I was pretty depressed about my network before - my boys were great and I love those guys but they were either gay (ok, just one guy) or there girlfriends were dead-ends in terms of other girls. I started waiting tables again and it was totally magic in terms of social life, though my 'career' sucks. Soon though, I'll go back to a desk job with all the regular stuff. What do we do when we're 9-5 again? You die at the end of the day and don't really meet new people anymore. At least that's what I remember.

So my question is this: how do you people in this position maintain a vibrant and diverse social network?

I'm considering playing rugby again, even though I retired at 29.

 

[MatureDJ]

Good point. I've thought about becoming a part-time bartender to expand my network - but then I realized that my network would be mainly of barflies.

 

[lee36044]

well ... this may sound blase ... but the best route I've found is to get involved with groups you can work up some passion about! Volunteer, join and attend meetings, get involved. But make sure it is an outlet you do care about. Women involved in these activities can often spot a phony a mile away!

 

[Sir Drinksalot]

I was talking about this with a friend of mine this weekend. It's hard to get the network going past your neighbors, co-workers, and existing friends when you're locked in a 9-5. Although I'd love to expand my network, here are some things we came up with that I've tried or just heard of:

My buddy has no kids, and therefore has more options than I do. Yoga class, the above-mentioned causes, etc.

People have told me that churches are great for this kind iof thing. But again, it better be something you genuinely believe in.

I've got kids - I've met a lot of people through their schools and activities. This kind of sucks, because once you're a parent this is the primary way outside of work that you meet new people. That means you won't be having any wild, booze-driven, partner swapping s+m orgies. But since these people will be my immediate peers at least for the next 15 years, and my social circle will determine my kids', it's important to establish these.

Both of us wish there were post-college fraternities. I've heard things like rotary club, elks clu, knights of columbus, freemasons, etc are sort of like that. At least that's the impression I got from The Flintstones.

 

[counselor]

I think this one of the reasons why people start hobbies. Any hobbie will do.. You probly dont even need to be very involed in the hobbie just go to a couple of conventions or clubbs... google your city and hobby...

 

[kyphan]

If you want a boatload of ideas on how to build one heck of a social network, read "Never Eat Alone" by Keith Ferrazzi.

Some ideas from that book and off the top of my head:

- Join a business/industry group. Find something in your area of expertise that you enjoy, especially if you will rub shoulders with either the top people out there or others your age looking to exchange ideas. Top people may have attractive daughters, of course.

- Explore a hobby and join a group around that. Why not meet people, possibly women, who have the same interests as you?

- Start a group. Not finding anything that suits you? Make your own group.

- Go to the gym, take up yoga, learn to dance, etc. Meet women who are into taking care of their bodies.

- Volunteer. At a hospital, for a cause or organization, anything! Not only will it give you a new perspective on life and a mental boost from doing something good, you meet like-minded people in the process.

- Host dinner parties once a month. Invite people you know well and one or two you barely know or are trying to get to know (for personal or business reasons). Try to get people from different industries and walks of life, people that could probably help one another.

- Do something YOU want to be involved in. I'm tempted to umpire Little League this Spring just because I love baseball so much (I also umpired for 10+ years until I moved away from home after graduating from college).

 

[fertileTurtle]

I've heard that volunteering for political campaigns can get you some action, especially for liberal candidates.

 

[synergy1]

the key is finding something you like, since with limited time, you do NOT want to be doing something you can only " put up with". The next important thing is being the center of a social circle, so people always want to do things with you. Be abrasive, vibrant , and out going. I like my social networks because they are based around activities I love. Its easy to get along with anyone I meet.

 

[styles07]

social networks

I'm no expert on this topic but I've tried the local chapter of the Sierra Club and went on many free, fun hikes in amazing places. I've met a few women this way even though it didn't go anywhere. I'm still a pathetic AFC or whatever the term is though..haha. Check your local REI or similar store if you're an outdoor person. They have tons of adventure vacation packages to crazy places as well.
Oh and if you're under 35, you must do one contiki trip in your lifetime. The europe trip that I went on two years ago had like a 5:1 girl to guy ratio. Not a local network suggestion but a fun diversion.

 

[STR8UP]

Because these are truly the way to meeting girls. I mean, you can do it at bars, parties and what not but you are nothing with out a great social network. That means your friends and hopefully friends that are not dead ends when it comes to women (and women who aren't either).

So, so true.

When it comes to chicks, my life would be completely different without my social networks.

I have several groups that I associate with and every single one of them is a great resource for meeting women. It seems like every time I get together with any of these groups there always happens to be at least one new chick that I meet and click with. It's truly amazing. Never in my life has it been so easy to meet so many different women.

So my question is this: how do you people in this position maintain a vibrant and diverse social network?

Can't really comment on how you maintain social networks when you work a 9-5, but I can tell you that if you ever have the inclination and the opportunity to start a business it opens up LOTS of doors socially. Get involved in the RIGHT kind of business and you will never have to worry about chicks or friends again.

 

[kyphan]

So my question is this: how do you people in this position maintain a vibrant and diverse social network?

I skipped right over this the first time.

The way you build and maintain a social network working a 9-5 is to understand that your life does not revolve around doing the same thing you've been doing up until now. Join some organizations, take up some activities, and commit to them. What on earth are you doing that is so important and time consuming outside your 9-5? I can tell you this much: it's not important, but boy is it time consuming. Or wasting time. Almost everyone (including myself!) is guilty of this. I am starting to find myself with too much time in the morning and at night, so now I am looking at what I can do with myself a couple more nights each week to build up a better social networking schedule.

Take it one piece at a time, join things you are passionate about, and you'll enjoy your life even more.

 

[Latinoman]

What on earth are you doing that is so important and time consuming outside your 9-5?.

Perhaps is fitness and weight lifting.

 

[kyphan]

Perhaps is fitness and weight lifting.

You can use that time to build a social network as well.

Let's face it, if you're awake 16-18 hours per day you still have time to do things other than eat, work, and go to the gym. There is plenty of opportunity there to be involved in other things.

 

[Centaurion]

I have 5 different social circles that I drift between. I got :
1) people I know at my school
2) people from work
3) childhood friends
4) party friends
5) gym buddies

And I try my darnest to keep a strict seperation between the different 'worlds'. This way I can always drift off the some other social circle if I for some reason feel like it. And I have different 'personas' that I take on when hanging out with the different groups.

Heh, this reminds me of the one Seinfeld episode where George's girlfriend became friends with Elaine and started hanging out with Elaine and Jerry without George. George kept screaming :"Nooo...the worlds are colliding..they are trying to kill Independent-George". Funny as hell, but it has some truth to it.

My suggestion would be to initiate contact with people at work. Ask them out for a beer after work or on Fridays. And when you go out to a place, check out who the 'party' people there are. There is much benefit in befriending them as they can open unseen doors for you.

 

[Latinoman]

You can use that time to build a social network as well.

Let's face it, if you're awake 16-18 hours per day you still have time to do things other than eat, work, and go to the gym. There is plenty of opportunity there to be involved in other things.

Yeah...I spent time with girlfriend or my kids.

But I agree...there is always time. One hour a week is more than enough.

 

[kyphan]

Exactly. If you find something you want to join you can make the time to do it. My dad and stepmom found way to be members of bowling leagues, and he is a basketball ref and baseball ump multiple times per week, all while raising my stepmom's granddaughter.

 

[Mountainman]

Yeah I think the dinner parties are a great idea! I know of this social group in Denver and there is this one guy that throw's alot of dinner parties. I look at the pictures and this is one place where there is probably about 2 women to every guy. I guess chicks dig that kinda stuff.

One other thing that I need to get back into is volunteering specifically in the environment. I'm looking for an outdoorsy woman so I think that would be a good start.