Legend of the great Giacobe Approach Journal!

[Giacobe.KB]

Rushingdude123 sent me a message that is probably very similar to everyone else to start my own approach journal. I am gonna see him through that!

I am currently 18 years old. I have never had a girlfriend or ever even kissed a girl before. Am I totally socially retarded? No. But I can often time put myself into awkward situations or find totally normal situations awkward. I think if I can follow through this boot camp starting Thursday May 14th and finish it I will become a more confident person who can express the charisma that he always had inside him.

One of my sticking points when it comes to people is I can't act myself around people who I think have higher authority than me, for example teachers, cooler people, employers, coaches, etc.

My other sticking point is I can get ugly girls to get interested in me and a lot of times cute girls too but somewhere a long the line either I didn't escalate it or I got really nervous and they lose attraction. This will change by the end of this boot camp. I will have the killer instinct to go in and flirt like a savage beast.

My life changes.... NOW!

 

[Giacobe.KB]

First thing I did to prepare. This might seem funny but it actually means a lot to me. I am cleaning my whole room and car so that my environment is not a mess, having a clean room and clean car makes me feel really good.

Also, I laundried all my clothes (I don't a great wardrobe but will find a job soon).

 

[rushing dude 123]

Well done giacobe, cleaning ur whole room u must mean business haha, but yeh this will make things a lot easier, Hope to see a field report from u soon.

 

[rushing dude 123]

Please don't die on me soldier lol.

 

[Giacobe.KB]

lol rushing i am so glad you followed up on this thread. it makes me feel like someone actually care and i appreciate it alot. THX!

I just got back from a 3 day weekend retreat and have spent zero time on this week so far. sorry to disappointed but i promise I will spend 4 hours tomorrow and get the 2 hours of eye contact in and get at least 25 greetings.

I haven't gotten any approaches in yet but I just wanted to share that we were forced to get to know someone we don't usually talk with at our Catholic retreat and I got into a incredibly deep conversation with this girl.

We talked about our insecurities, strengths, basically everything and it was really fun to tell her how I perceived her as on an honest level. FYI She's pretty cute and that's all I have to say because this thread is about ME!

She told me that I came off as a totally chill person that didn't really care what other people thought of him, funny without trying and does what he feels and not follow the crowd. I also found out that I was sometimes arrogant but it mostly came off very innocently. It's nice to know how other people perceived you as and some of the stuff said was surprising. I might be cooler than I think I am hehe.

But the point is that I think I have a glimpse of what connecting in a conversation really is. It's not about the superficial stuff but you really connect with people when you really dig deep into their thoughts, what makes them insecure, why do they act the way they act and as long as you do it in a heartfelt way then they really open up and like you more. It also feels really good to let them know the traits that make them a likeable person because sometimes they feel bad about themselves too and don't know the good qualities about them.

Knowing this, it will really help when we get to the part where we start conversations with people because I honestly don't want just superficial relationships but a deep connection with people in general. While sexing up the girls along the way of course!

FIELD REPORT IS PROMISED FOR TOMORROW!
SOLDIER CHECKING OUT.

 

[Giacobe.KB]

Okay. First field report as promised. I was walking on college campus and I said good morning to this one old guy. He didn't respond and kept walking.

That's all. hehehe I am so baddddd.

Hi's and Hellos : 1/50
Hour of Eye contact: 0/2

 

[rushing dude 123]

giacobe, u got one more day dude. If u want to improve u got to do something completely out of ur comfort zone. 49 hi's and 2 hours of eye contact can be done in one day. So i suggest u get up early and just do ur thing, do not care about responses or not because to b honest all these people u say hi to are not going to care if u improve or not. The only one who cares for u to improve is urself.

If u can get through this week some of ur wildest dreams will happen in the following weeks, but if u decide to do nothing, then u will not move from that point and u will always b the same for the rest of ur life.

So what u going to do?

 

[Giacobe.KB]

Field Report
Wednesday May 20, 2009

50/50 Hi's
2/2 Hours EC

All I got to say is that was tiring as hell. I went EVERYWHERE today.

Right after class ended I drove to Safeway and walked around the aisle keep eye contact with everyone. It was kinda funny because when I first walked in there was a security guard and I made eye contact, said hi and he had to break eye contact! Anyways I walked around the aisle for a while.

Then I went to Target, Best Buy, the Mall, QFC, this one book store, libraries, Rite Aid, Office Depot, Office Max. There was this one employee at Office Max that got into eye contact with me and he had this creepy smile that really pissed me off and I tried to hold eye contact with him and this was the one guy that I had to break eye contact with because it was really creepy and both of us didn't want to break eye contact. I got mad and tried to find him to stare him down again but then I broke it off again lol.

I still had only about 13 after all of the locations I went to so I knew I had to do some drastic action. I drove to the lake and started running on the trail in the direction that most people weren't facing and I said hi, hey, good afternoon to everyone I saw. Basically everything and different people were giving off different greetings for me to learn. A lot of them weren't even looking at me so I had to yell it a few feet before I ran past them. Some of them didn't reply and it made me feel bad and awkward but these were easier than the others because there was so many people and if it went bad I would just run past them. I hope that's not cheating. I think I ran for like 4 miles.

I ran into a lot of groups of people but each group I only counted as one. When you say hi to groups of people they are more confident and almost all of them say hi back with more enthusiasm.

I still feel pretty awkward doing greetings though. I can only say how's it goin, how r u and stuff but that's all I say. Or if people say it first I would say I am good and then they says that's good and then nothing else. Also, it's hard for me to force the smile first because I feel so fake when doing it so I have to think of funny moments from my past to put in a genuine smile but that's a lot of work! and it keeps me unfocused. I tend to think too much and naturally start looking at the floor or in the zone. I probably will keep practicing this cause I don't want any awkwardness whatsoever in the future.

Okay now I am gonna go study for my chemistry quiz tomorrow but I think I am gonna start the second week earlier because conversations are probably harder and that's what I really need help on.

 

[Giacobe.KB]

Just peeked at some of the others journal. I didn't realize we were suppose to keep track on everything else that wasn't related to the week.

Yesterday I was talking to a girl in biology but then the class got quiet so we started writing in a journal. I found out she played tennis so I wrote I want to play you in tennis. She said "I suck," Was this a rejection because I quickly changed the topic to you suck at everything, what are you good at then with a smiley face. Anyways I got her phone number from a week prior but kind of in a pussified way because I used "studying" as an excuse.

There's also this girl in chemistry that keeps looking at me its kind of desperate but I think I should just get her phone number to improve my phone game. If I mess up I won't care about her.

 

[rushing dude 123]

very well done giacobe, u pulled it out of the bag. The tasks are going to get tougher though, make sure not to leave it for the last day. Other than that I will put ur name up for the next week dude, so make sure to pm me ur aim, i don't think i have it. Because i am going make sure everyone can keep in contact with eachother.

 

[Giacobe.KB]

Well today I had a conversation with someone in my class, not a stranger but she was talking about her nephew and autism FOREVER. Some people really like to talk and there's others that don't really open up even when you ask a lot of questions. I guess you have to ask something that is important to them but you really have to dig to find it. I won't write this as a field report because it's not a stranger but just as a journal entry.

Now I am about to go give blood. I wish I could sell blood instead but I am just too kind ^^.

 

[Giacobe.KB]

Field Report

1. I saw this guy near my church. He's a refugee that just came from Asia for not too long and he was smoking so I asked to smoke with him even though I don't really smoke. All I really did was take 2 puffs and tried to blow smoke rings. I asked him if he could blow smoke rings and about his ESL classes, will he attend colleges and stuff. It was pretty easy talking to him cause probably noone really want to talk to a fresh off boat guy so he was very welcoming. I wasn't nervous at all because I feel superior to people that can't speak English well... I think it might have lasted 5-10 minutes

My community is gonna have a bbq tomorrow, so I probably will go there to try to start up some conversations with people.

Unrelated:

I was with a group of friends at Safeway and saw a pretty cute girl and I tried to cough loud and said a yelling whisper : hey to her but she scurried into the car with her mom. I guess girls usually don't like being approached when you are with your friends because they might think u r playing or making fun of em.

This was confirmed a little by this one girl I met at a friend's house when she said girls don't like it when people "holler" at them. It makes them feel harassed. Hehe I argued that you know if it was a cute guy they would be flattered. Anyways, that's it so far.

 

[The Gamer]

From your description of yourself, your fundamental problem stems from some superiority complex. Listen, all your percieved superiorities and inferiorities are simply that. Do you realise that in this country (Im assuming your in US) that each any every adult citizen is their own king. I really mean that man. You are a soveriegn individual and have EVERY right to your property, which is your body, mind and spirit. Why are you giving up your property (not expressing yourself)? Do you think that you are not worthy of the very rights that your forefathers fought and died for? Are you really going to insult them by being a weak citizen? To have rights is to have responsibilities. You are responsible to not be WEAK!!!

Hope that helps...

 

[Giacobe.KB]

Field Report.

2. Got into talk with a girl on campus. It was a pretty boring conversation because we kept on talking about classes, school, teachers. It was pretty retarded but I told her to put her number on my cell phone. The thing is either she put it in wrong or forgot to save it, or she faked putting it in or something because it wasn't in my phonebook when I checked it later. GRRR lol

3. Got into another talk with another campus student in the library. Says hes going to China for school next year. Pretty cool guy but conversation lasted like only 5 minutes.

4. Got into a conversation with these two girls at this community event. I asked them where they were from and they weren't really from where I live. They live like a city away and then there was nothing really to talk about. Sometimes I wonder if my conversation skills suck or the other end don't have any themselves. This is one of those. And it's not because they were annoyed either, well they could of been but I had a feeling that they were attracted because I was pretty "on" that day but yea w/e.