As a citizen originally from a foreign country who's been living in America now for almost 12 years, one of the things I've realized based on my personal experience, is that for some reason, women here in America seem to be more spoiled and put on pedestals than those in other parts of the world. They are used to men constantly seeking their attention, chasing after them, singing praises to them, kissing their feet and asses. Just look at the countless commercials on American TV and how they portray male/female relationships. The guy is often the desperate one seeking the woman's attention, while she makes use of her power to either choose to accept him, or reject him and make his life "miserable." In no other arena do American women seem to have in my opinion, an unfair and imbalanced power over men than in the dating game.
When I first came to the United States from my home country in Central Africa over 12 years ago, adjusting to the dating culture of this country was quite tough. I was raised in a society which continually stressed (and still stresses) the importance of being polite and courteous. Respect for elders, smiling at strangers, calling most people "Sir" or "Madam," etc. In my country, and even in a good number of European nations, it wasn't perceived to be a weakness by women if a man was considered polite or "nice." If anything, women would be drawn to such traits. They didn't want to end up with jerks and abusive boyfriends as husbands. They wanted to bring home to their parents, men who their parents could be proud of.
Considering these experiences, adapting to the cut-throat nature of American dating during my years as an undergraduate student in college, was extremely difficult. I was always afraid to get into confrontations with women even if they were rude to me; I was scared to tell them my mind, I was willing to do anything to please them even if it meant going against my own comfort. During those days, a woman could yell in my face and I will back off and tremble and be blown off by the wind. It was not surprising to me therefore that back then, I was routinely put in the "friends zone" by undergraduate women in college and passed over for the so-called "bad boys" and thugs, by women I felt attracted to. One group of women who I particularly had a hard time trying to stand up to and connecting with, were young, African-American women, who typically tend to be so outspoken, they could care less if their words prick your heart like a sharp sword.
But folks, something has changed. Ever since I began lifting weights consistently now since last spring and my muscles and overall body has significantly improved and developed, not only am I getting second looks from *****y women who normally wouldn't have given me the time of day, but I seem to look physically more imposing to them and they for sure know that they can't disrespect me anymore...because I will put them in their place. So I want to encourage those of you who may be currently going through what I experienced in the past. Do not despair. Keep your heads up and don't be afraid to stand up to American women. Show them that you are the man. Never let them walk over you and step on your toes and disrespect you. Trust me, you will discover that underneath all that self-centeredness and arrogance, many American women are a bunch of insecure wimps. Don't be afraid to say "no" to a woman when she suggests that you both go to a particular place for lunch or dinner, even if you originally might have thought it was a good idea. Develop a back bone.
In the past few months, I've had several experiences that are helping me become a better person. I've gotten over one-it-is and a woman who in the end actually proved to not be worth my time. I stood up to a *****y woman at my gym who had the nerve to get up from her seat and yell in my face. She was greatly humbled when I told her not to talk to me like that, to get out of my face and to not disrespect me because I wasn't going to tolerate any crap from her. While I am not a big fan of online dating, I went on an adventure on a personals site, and it gave me additional experience in terms of standing up to American women. One of the women I was talking to from the site, a 37-year-old divorced woman, kept on filling each of her emails with a harshness in tone that is impossible to describe in words. She was attempting to punish me and stereotype me for the negative experiences she's had with the previous men in alive. Almost every email contained the "F" and "S" words, she always wanted to have the upper hand in every conversation, called my integrity into question and put me on the defensive more times than I could count.
Finally, I wrote her back an email more outspoken and harsher than anything she had written to me before, giving her a piece of my mind. I told her I wasn't going to tolerate any more curse words from her or her attempting to stereotype me like the men she's met in her life. I reminded her that she's not the only person in the world who's had bad experiences in terms of dating and relationships and warned her that I wasn't interested in hearing about her past. We were supposed to set up a date that weekend, but I canceled, stating that given her behavior, it would be inappropriate for us to meet. I told her to go back and reexamine every email she has written to me and notice the tone and the harshness. I wasn't going to take that crap from her anymore. Of course, what happened next? She wrote me an email apoplogy, doesn't use curse words anymore, and goes out of her way to reach me by phone and email. Now, the power between us is all in my hands and her insecurity has been revealed.
The second and last woman gave me her phone number via email, we had emailed very briefly earlier. I called her up when I got her number so we could talk as she suggested, but was surprised when I tried to get a hold of her again, to hear her respond to my test message saying that "Because of the questions you asked me, I'm not interested. Sorry." Then she went on to call me sleazy and cheap, etc. So I fought back. This was a woman who in her email, claimed to have both brains and beauty because she was an attorney. I told her that she comes across as very rude and confrontational, adn that for someone who boasts about having brains and being an attorney, she's rather superficial, inconsiderate, heartless and insensitive, and that I have no tolerance for such women. She threw a jab at me and I threw another one back. Finally, she gave up and I told her that I deserved a lot better, and that I had a heart and feelings. "Then, stop texting me," she said. I responded telling her not to misinterpret my text messages as an attempt to regain contact with her. I told her I had to express my feelings, and that she shouldn't think for a minute that when she insults and disrespects me, I will back down and not defend myself. That was it. I stood up for myself once again, and she now knew that I wasn't the kind of guy who could be pushed around.
When I first came to the United States from my home country in Central Africa over 12 years ago, adjusting to the dating culture of this country was quite tough. I was raised in a society which continually stressed (and still stresses) the importance of being polite and courteous. Respect for elders, smiling at strangers, calling most people "Sir" or "Madam," etc. In my country, and even in a good number of European nations, it wasn't perceived to be a weakness by women if a man was considered polite or "nice." If anything, women would be drawn to such traits. They didn't want to end up with jerks and abusive boyfriends as husbands. They wanted to bring home to their parents, men who their parents could be proud of.
Considering these experiences, adapting to the cut-throat nature of American dating during my years as an undergraduate student in college, was extremely difficult. I was always afraid to get into confrontations with women even if they were rude to me; I was scared to tell them my mind, I was willing to do anything to please them even if it meant going against my own comfort. During those days, a woman could yell in my face and I will back off and tremble and be blown off by the wind. It was not surprising to me therefore that back then, I was routinely put in the "friends zone" by undergraduate women in college and passed over for the so-called "bad boys" and thugs, by women I felt attracted to. One group of women who I particularly had a hard time trying to stand up to and connecting with, were young, African-American women, who typically tend to be so outspoken, they could care less if their words prick your heart like a sharp sword.
But folks, something has changed. Ever since I began lifting weights consistently now since last spring and my muscles and overall body has significantly improved and developed, not only am I getting second looks from *****y women who normally wouldn't have given me the time of day, but I seem to look physically more imposing to them and they for sure know that they can't disrespect me anymore...because I will put them in their place. So I want to encourage those of you who may be currently going through what I experienced in the past. Do not despair. Keep your heads up and don't be afraid to stand up to American women. Show them that you are the man. Never let them walk over you and step on your toes and disrespect you. Trust me, you will discover that underneath all that self-centeredness and arrogance, many American women are a bunch of insecure wimps. Don't be afraid to say "no" to a woman when she suggests that you both go to a particular place for lunch or dinner, even if you originally might have thought it was a good idea. Develop a back bone.
In the past few months, I've had several experiences that are helping me become a better person. I've gotten over one-it-is and a woman who in the end actually proved to not be worth my time. I stood up to a *****y woman at my gym who had the nerve to get up from her seat and yell in my face. She was greatly humbled when I told her not to talk to me like that, to get out of my face and to not disrespect me because I wasn't going to tolerate any crap from her. While I am not a big fan of online dating, I went on an adventure on a personals site, and it gave me additional experience in terms of standing up to American women. One of the women I was talking to from the site, a 37-year-old divorced woman, kept on filling each of her emails with a harshness in tone that is impossible to describe in words. She was attempting to punish me and stereotype me for the negative experiences she's had with the previous men in alive. Almost every email contained the "F" and "S" words, she always wanted to have the upper hand in every conversation, called my integrity into question and put me on the defensive more times than I could count.
Finally, I wrote her back an email more outspoken and harsher than anything she had written to me before, giving her a piece of my mind. I told her I wasn't going to tolerate any more curse words from her or her attempting to stereotype me like the men she's met in her life. I reminded her that she's not the only person in the world who's had bad experiences in terms of dating and relationships and warned her that I wasn't interested in hearing about her past. We were supposed to set up a date that weekend, but I canceled, stating that given her behavior, it would be inappropriate for us to meet. I told her to go back and reexamine every email she has written to me and notice the tone and the harshness. I wasn't going to take that crap from her anymore. Of course, what happened next? She wrote me an email apoplogy, doesn't use curse words anymore, and goes out of her way to reach me by phone and email. Now, the power between us is all in my hands and her insecurity has been revealed.
The second and last woman gave me her phone number via email, we had emailed very briefly earlier. I called her up when I got her number so we could talk as she suggested, but was surprised when I tried to get a hold of her again, to hear her respond to my test message saying that "Because of the questions you asked me, I'm not interested. Sorry." Then she went on to call me sleazy and cheap, etc. So I fought back. This was a woman who in her email, claimed to have both brains and beauty because she was an attorney. I told her that she comes across as very rude and confrontational, adn that for someone who boasts about having brains and being an attorney, she's rather superficial, inconsiderate, heartless and insensitive, and that I have no tolerance for such women. She threw a jab at me and I threw another one back. Finally, she gave up and I told her that I deserved a lot better, and that I had a heart and feelings. "Then, stop texting me," she said. I responded telling her not to misinterpret my text messages as an attempt to regain contact with her. I told her I had to express my feelings, and that she shouldn't think for a minute that when she insults and disrespects me, I will back down and not defend myself. That was it. I stood up for myself once again, and she now knew that I wasn't the kind of guy who could be pushed around.
And here I thought I was going back to college for the fun of it!:rock: