Seriously.
I've read so many different forum threads and articles based on the needs of what I was looking for help on... but it doesn't match up to actually going and doing it.
Here are some fvck up's and examples of easy game that could of been avoided but each step of the way I learned a new lesson.
Lesson 1: Close a date EARLY.
In the very beginning I was chatting girls up, asking what they do, hobbies etc. It's all just fluff. They know in the first 5-10 seconds if they want to date you. So make a few things for small talk and then close a DATE. HAVE A PLAN.
"Hey [GIRL], you're cute - are you free for a drink on X at X time? Let's keep it casual incase I don't like you I can say I have to walk my cat."
"X night sounds great!"
"Okay, meet me at the [PLACE] at [TIME] - see you then."
This should come after the first few minutes of interaction OR few messages online.
Lesson 2: Get the date set, then leave it alone.
Girls will stay interested in you if you just leave it alone until the date. Stay busy or act like it.
Date is set for 3 days from now. DO NOT CONTACT HER FOR 3 DAYS. If she messages you, keep it light but don't go into any details or questions that would be suitable for the date.
Side lesson on this: High Pressure Date.
Do not put a date too far out. 2-4 days max, in my opinion. Especially for the first date. Be a salesman. Time is money.
Lesson 3: Do not let her reschedule for a date you don't like. Just politely decline and re-offer another time.
I once had a girl try to tell me her nights were too busy and she wasn't going to invest in someone that she didnt like, so she asked for a LUNCH date. At first I told her straight up that I don't do lunch dates (Mistake here, you're busy through the day - just use that) , let's just find a later time. - then I tried to backpedal and tell her it was okay that I can do a lunch date. It ended up falling through and I never did see her.
If they resist it, let them resist and don't respond. They hate being rejected and they will ALWAYS come back. DO NOT BEND THE RULES YOU SET FOR YOURSELF. I made this mistake with a good prospect, and blew it because I was AFC, desperate etc.
Lesson 4: Go for a kiss on date 1, no exceptions.
Unless she's mentally unstable, not going for a kiss on date 1 will set low expectations for you. If she agreed and shows up to a date, she knows what your intentions are. Even if you get rejected a girl will have more respect for your balls than anything. Use kino at the start to get her interested in the idea of it, but go for it. Suck it up and go for it.
Lesson 5: Don't setup another date on date 1.
Too much interest too fast. Play it cool, she will text you if she likes you when she gets home. If she doesn't - don't sweat it. Also, there really is no RULE about when you should text her. I don't recommend that same night but the next day if you want to shoot her a note that's about a 2nd date (not hey what's up) than thats cool.
Side Lesson: The next time you text her should only be about setting up a 2nd date.
Lesson 6: Better to be rejected than to not attempt at all.
2nd date comes around, in this instance I had a chick at my house watching a movie. She said from the start she wasn't going to have sex. That's fine - I don't have expectations like that, which I told her.
Me: "That's cool, I don't really do one night stands. However, I will be trying to make out like high schoolers and grab at your titties."
Be playful but respectful. Just go for it, don't be a *****.
Lesson 7: Don't expect too much too early
Yes, we all know the 3 date rule. I'm in the middle of this mistake right now because I insisted she come over and just stay till the AM. Makes girls feel like a slvt. Hopefully I defused the situation, but we'll see.
Where I am right now:
[ME]
You should just plan on staying over and going to work in the AM
[GIRL]
Not sure if I would get the adequate amount of sleep I need
[ME]
#worth
haha - i’m a hardcore sleeper so, I will let you sleep too.
[GIRL]
You must really want to have sex with me...
[ME]
If it vibes out that way sure, but I have no expectations. lol
There’s no rush
[GIRL]
I didn't sign up to have random hook ups you know
[ME]
That’s cool - I don’t do random hook ups lol
[GIRL]
Even though it may have looked that way last night
[ME]
We can just sit in bed and read then
Know any good books?
lol jk - but seriously , I told you I don’t really have good sex until I’m comfortable. So... I’m not trying to pressure anything honestly.
And also, you have to be comfortable as well.
So we can skip the staying over, but I would like to see you
[GIRL]
Ok that's cool, glad we cleared that up
Wings tomorrow
As you can see, I fvked and put a huge blocker that if she shows up on the 3rd date, I have to deal with. But I'm going to forget I even said anything and have a good time - and yes, push for sex but not by WORDS this time, but by ACTIONS.
Lesson 8: Have fun with it.
It's a 50/50 deal. They have to like you at the same level as you like them. High interest will get you in the door, but mutual interest will get you around the house.
Hope this helps someone!
I've read so many different forum threads and articles based on the needs of what I was looking for help on... but it doesn't match up to actually going and doing it.
Here are some fvck up's and examples of easy game that could of been avoided but each step of the way I learned a new lesson.
Lesson 1: Close a date EARLY.
In the very beginning I was chatting girls up, asking what they do, hobbies etc. It's all just fluff. They know in the first 5-10 seconds if they want to date you. So make a few things for small talk and then close a DATE. HAVE A PLAN.
"Hey [GIRL], you're cute - are you free for a drink on X at X time? Let's keep it casual incase I don't like you I can say I have to walk my cat."
"X night sounds great!"
"Okay, meet me at the [PLACE] at [TIME] - see you then."
This should come after the first few minutes of interaction OR few messages online.
Lesson 2: Get the date set, then leave it alone.
Girls will stay interested in you if you just leave it alone until the date. Stay busy or act like it.
Date is set for 3 days from now. DO NOT CONTACT HER FOR 3 DAYS. If she messages you, keep it light but don't go into any details or questions that would be suitable for the date.
Side lesson on this: High Pressure Date.
Do not put a date too far out. 2-4 days max, in my opinion. Especially for the first date. Be a salesman. Time is money.
Lesson 3: Do not let her reschedule for a date you don't like. Just politely decline and re-offer another time.
I once had a girl try to tell me her nights were too busy and she wasn't going to invest in someone that she didnt like, so she asked for a LUNCH date. At first I told her straight up that I don't do lunch dates (Mistake here, you're busy through the day - just use that) , let's just find a later time. - then I tried to backpedal and tell her it was okay that I can do a lunch date. It ended up falling through and I never did see her.
If they resist it, let them resist and don't respond. They hate being rejected and they will ALWAYS come back. DO NOT BEND THE RULES YOU SET FOR YOURSELF. I made this mistake with a good prospect, and blew it because I was AFC, desperate etc.
Lesson 4: Go for a kiss on date 1, no exceptions.
Unless she's mentally unstable, not going for a kiss on date 1 will set low expectations for you. If she agreed and shows up to a date, she knows what your intentions are. Even if you get rejected a girl will have more respect for your balls than anything. Use kino at the start to get her interested in the idea of it, but go for it. Suck it up and go for it.
Lesson 5: Don't setup another date on date 1.
Too much interest too fast. Play it cool, she will text you if she likes you when she gets home. If she doesn't - don't sweat it. Also, there really is no RULE about when you should text her. I don't recommend that same night but the next day if you want to shoot her a note that's about a 2nd date (not hey what's up) than thats cool.
Side Lesson: The next time you text her should only be about setting up a 2nd date.
Lesson 6: Better to be rejected than to not attempt at all.
2nd date comes around, in this instance I had a chick at my house watching a movie. She said from the start she wasn't going to have sex. That's fine - I don't have expectations like that, which I told her.
Me: "That's cool, I don't really do one night stands. However, I will be trying to make out like high schoolers and grab at your titties."
Be playful but respectful. Just go for it, don't be a *****.
Lesson 7: Don't expect too much too early
Yes, we all know the 3 date rule. I'm in the middle of this mistake right now because I insisted she come over and just stay till the AM. Makes girls feel like a slvt. Hopefully I defused the situation, but we'll see.
Where I am right now:
[ME]
You should just plan on staying over and going to work in the AM
[GIRL]
Not sure if I would get the adequate amount of sleep I need
[ME]
#worth
haha - i’m a hardcore sleeper so, I will let you sleep too.
[GIRL]
You must really want to have sex with me...
[ME]
If it vibes out that way sure, but I have no expectations. lol
There’s no rush
[GIRL]
I didn't sign up to have random hook ups you know
[ME]
That’s cool - I don’t do random hook ups lol
[GIRL]
Even though it may have looked that way last night
[ME]
We can just sit in bed and read then
Know any good books?
lol jk - but seriously , I told you I don’t really have good sex until I’m comfortable. So... I’m not trying to pressure anything honestly.
And also, you have to be comfortable as well.
So we can skip the staying over, but I would like to see you
[GIRL]
Ok that's cool, glad we cleared that up
Wings tomorrow
As you can see, I fvked and put a huge blocker that if she shows up on the 3rd date, I have to deal with. But I'm going to forget I even said anything and have a good time - and yes, push for sex but not by WORDS this time, but by ACTIONS.
Lesson 8: Have fun with it.
It's a 50/50 deal. They have to like you at the same level as you like them. High interest will get you in the door, but mutual interest will get you around the house.
Hope this helps someone!
