Lack Of Experience Concerns

[Unbridled_1]

I met a girl at work whom I liked very much, but never went for her because we worked together. Well, she recently accepted another job in the same city. It's obvious she feels the same way about me, she is definitely interested in me and is single.

So you may say what's the problem?? I'm 26 and have never been in a relationship, in fact never dated a girl more than a couple times. My only hookups were in college when there was drinking. If I ask her out, I fear not having the confidence to advance the relationship. She has asked me about past relationships, and after trying to avoid the questions, I finally just made up some lies about past girlfriends, so she thinks I have experience in this area.

My fear is not knowing when to go in for the kiss, or when to advance beyond the kiss. I just have little expereince with this. I understand that I have to take a risk here, but I'm just not sure what to do. I haven't kissed many girls, so I also fear she will think I am a bad kisser, etc..

How Can I learn about these things, other than actual expereince. Any suggestions? specific tips? Specific suggested readings or videos to watch? Anyone else in a similar situation? Any help would be appreciated, thanks guys.

 

[NewMan]

I was in exactly the same situation you were in.

I to was unsure. I to made up lies about past GF's and relationships.

What can I tell you from my experience? I would do it in a heartbeat again. The rewards far outweigh the negatives.

You have nothing to lose.

your going into this with negative thoughts - which although is understandable - it's detremental to the outcome.

You need to just enjoy the experience. Don't worry aso much about the end result. You will only learn from experience. Further, you will know instinctively what to do and when. Just try not to fear what lies ahead - look at it as an adventure. I guarantee it will be fun AND rewarding.

As for specifics on how to. Search to web - search the DJ bible. Search the posts.

There are posts that cover kissing and Fvcking.

There are posts that cover confidence.

Start with the bible move forward.

You may also want to look on Amazon for books if you need to.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

a slow dance is a great time to try to kiss her.... you're already up close.... stroke her face or brush her hair back gently, when she looks up at you, gently give her a nice slow lingering kiss... enjoy!

 

[chicksrock]

you need to boost up your testerone levels and be more manly and dominate her...

all your problems will end if you do this ...

BE A MAN!

good luck!

you can do it...there is nothing to it...its just making the decision from inside ..

 

[decades]

i am of a mind to agree that this may be just a way for you to get some much needed experience. don't go in thinking "this is it" or "she's the one". just enjoy the experience while gaining much needed confidence. For guys like you, its one step at a time and each time you will feel better and better about yourself. Keep working on getting confident and PROCEED despite your fears. Pursue this despite your reservations! deal with whatever happens in an honest way and things should work out for you. good luck.

mike

 

[MichaelangelloB]

Don't over think it

By being in the state of mind you're in now (oh my god I don't know what to do, what will she think, what if I'm no good, blah blah blah) you're gonna shoot yourself in the foot.

Don't over think things. Don't worry so much about how she will feel. Worry about what's best for you. How you're going to have fun. Dates are supposed to be fun. If you make them pressure-filled hours of stress and nervousness neither one of you will have a good time. So relax.

You're already in a good place, you know she likes you and wants to go out with you, so all you have to do now is enjoy eachother's company and have fun.

Think possitivly, relax, have fun, and at the end of the night close your eyes and go for it. That's what I would do.


A good article to read that kinda deals with this Pook's "Kill that Desperation." It's the first thing any aspiring DJ should read.

 

[Unbridled_1]

Thanks for the advice, guys, it was all very helpful. I agree that I just have to go through with it and do the best I can, worst case scenario it will be a learning experience, and you have to start somewhere. I'll read a few articles on how to's, but I don't want to complicate things for myself, besides, nothing replaces actual experience.

Newman, how did things work out for you? Did she start to suspect a lack of experience when you went through with it? I appreciated your advice, it seems right on.

 

[So Many Ways]

The easiest way to make this not an issue is simple, don't make it an issue. Relax, have fun with the whole thing, and don't overthink things and don't take the whole thing seriously. Let your male instincts guide you.

We've all been there.

 

[Wannabe_DonJuan]

Unbridled, New Man, how did this go for you? I am in exactly same situation now, I keep to a minimum any mention of past relationships. Things are going well so far, although a few slips of the tongue (figuratively speaking), I have not let the whole cat out of the bag, but I think she knows that I have not bagged 1000 ladies. But things are going well regardless.

 

[Alpine]

This sounds silly but it bloody does help.

Say to your self, 'Whatever happens I can handle it'

It's the catch all of confidence, even if you fvck up, you can handle it. And you know what, when you think that way, usually you do handle it.

Try to be objective about it, half the trouble is you don't want to mess up, that's understandable, but get a few under your belt and it will be just fine.

Getting knowledge also gives you confidence, so a lot of the above references are worth studying.

You'll be fine.