As far as popping wood, it's inevitable man, you're a dude for goddam sake and there's a girl on your lap. Don't think too much about it. If she notices, just joke about it, tell her it's her fault that's she's soo hott, or something like that. For touching her, if you are talking about a girl you just met, there are only a few acceptable places. Shoulder, back, hands, otherwise you risk getting too personal. If it's a girl you are with......touch her anywhere. It's about how you touch, not where. Make it sensual, as gay is it sounds, you need to caress her, slowly and gently. But..... the places you are talking about are called erogenous zones- lips, ears (if you kiss them), breasts of course, feet, neck, and a really good one is the wrists. Massage a girls wrists and she goes crazy, couldn't tell you why though. If you're "cuddling" just massage/rub her wherever you feel like it, as long as she's not telling you otherwise.