keeping a few friends in the loop?

[smoke city]

lately my dating life has been pretty complicated and enjoyable-- juggling a few girls who all sort of know each other (i live in a small-ish college town) -- so i've been trying to keep 2-3 of my closest friends apprised of what's going on with these girls. just so things don't start to spin around the rumor mill -- and that stuff is on the DL that should be. problem is...though these guys are always on my side, i think it might create some awkward situations when i bring, say, one girl on thursday to the club to hang out and another girl on friday and yet another on saturday.
any of you guys run into any trouble with this sort of thing? do you think it's better to just keep *totally quiet about it? or is it better that your bros really know what's going on?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by smoke city
lately my dating life has been pretty complicated and enjoyable-- juggling a few girls who all sort of know each other (i live in a small-ish college town) -- so i've been trying to keep 2-3 of my closest friends apprised of what's going on with these girls. just so things don't start to spin around the rumor mill -- and that stuff is on the DL that should be. problem is...though these guys are always on my side, i think it might create some awkward situations when i bring, say, one girl on thursday to the club to hang out and another girl on friday and yet another on saturday.
any of you guys run into any trouble with this sort of thing? do you think it's better to just keep *totally quiet about it? or is it better that your bros really know what's going on?

Dude, if you can't manage your life on your own, it's more than likely out of control.

Just something to think about.

 

[AmIAFC]

Keep quiet.

Yeah, bros before hoes, but that doesn't mean that your bros gotta knows about your hoes.

First, they could have an AFC moment (or wind up drunk) and talk about you in a less than favorable light to one of your chics. You don't know what's in a guy's mind. He might "fall in love" with one of your girls and say dumb ****, even compromising your secrets, in order to validate himself in her eyes. What if one of them tries to make a move, she rejects, and he gets all pissed saying, "Oh, you're gonna suck smoke city's c*** and not even give me your number? F you then"

Then again, I don't know your friends, but how much do YOU know them.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

smoke I say, play them all...

If they can't stand the competition, who's problem is it?

The ladies can game guys any time of day,the guys, they are led to believe they have to buy dinner. Who gfets the bread and who IS the butter in that deal?

Either way

"Be a man"

You do what you want, and if dating multiple women, and giving her the choice of sleeping with you is fine. I live in a town of 5000, I've lived in towns of 200. There is NOTHING wrong with gaming multiple chicks.

 

[smoke city]

Dude, if you can't manage your life on your own, it's more than likely out of control.

You're missing the point. Obviously I don't need anyone running damage control FOR me. but it helps to have somebody who really knows what's going on when your "girlfriend" starts spreading some insane rumors about you, because you said you don't want a relationship or something...Francisco -- it doesn't matter how much control you think you have over your own life...you and i both know that you cannot predict and cannot underestimate the ways in which a woman will try to screw up your life if she wants to...
so my question is -- as amiafc correctly understood it -- have you ever run into trouble b/c your buddies knew a what was going on with your dating life? was keeping them in the loop (just b/c you want your friends to know what's up in your life) worth the extra hassle?

so maybe now you can give me some useful adivce.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by smoke city
You're missing the point. Obviously I don't need anyone running damage control FOR me. but it helps to have somebody who really knows what's going on when your "girlfriend" starts spreading some insane rumors about you, because you said you don't want a relationship or something...

Then you need to date more secure women. You're planning your actions by the reactions of other people. That doesn't sound like control to me.

You need to manage their expectations and not have them go off the hook when you don't succumb to their ultimatums. And another thing, those may be your boys but wait until one of them has an off day and gets bitter about you having a stable of women. Some guys will choose h0es over their bro's just to have a better chance to get some poon.

It's your call, but keep your eyes wide open.

 

[smoke city]

And another thing, those may be your boys but wait until one of them has an off day and gets bitter about you having a stable of women. Some guys will choose h0es over their bro's just to have a better chance to get some poon.

well said. this is already a concern for some of the guys i hang with -- needless to say i keep my distance. maybe you're right -- we shouldn't expect even our best bros to have the same ethical standards when it comes to these things [i've had experience with this, but was hoping it was the exception rather than the rule]

thanks for the input.

Your post raises an interesting question: How do you "manage expectations" of the women you're seeing -- I'm fairly new (as in the past year, since i've been coming here) to the world of dating multiple women...i've read what the dj bible says about it, but i'm looking around for a second opinion.