Just when I thought I was ready for love, it bites me in the ass.

[Chimera]

I met my girlfriend around 3 years ago and we had been friends with benefits on and off up until about 5 months ago when we decided to actually commit to one another for the first time. We were together 24/7 and never got sick of each other. 2 months later, I was in love. Apparently, she was too (but I highly doubt this as of recent).

About a 2 months ago, I caught her flirting with another guy via internet. I was pissed. For a week or so, we went back to being friends with benefits, but neither of us actually acted on it (or so I think), so we got back together. Everything went back to normal up until a few days ago, when I got really sick and had to stay home for a few days. Suddenly, the next morning, she IM's me, "Would you be pissed if I went to visit Jared (the guy I caught her flirting with) for a few days? He's in the city and he says he'll pick me up on the way back (he lives 6 hours away). I promise you nothing will happen between him and I. We're just friends"

I say, "Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed." and she replies with, "Well, I already said yes. I'm sorry, but I really want to go." An hour later, she left. When she got there, she said, "I made it pretty clear to him that we're just friends." and texted me consistently throughout the day. I was still pissed, but not quite irate at that point. The next day, she didn't text or call at all, even after I texted her several times. Today, I finally spoke to her on AIM and she acted normal again. She said her phone was acting weird and that she didn't receive any of my texts or calls. Bull****.

She comes back in two days. My mind is set on breaking up with her immediately. Part of me, however, still wants to be with her. Part of me still loves her, even though I'm pretty certain that she's cheating on me. SHOULD I break up with her? Should we go back to being friends with benefits or should I just drop her altogether? How do I get over her? How do I move on? What should I do? Ugh. I hate this. **** love.

 

[Alle_Gory]

You know the answer better than anyone else. Just take some time and chill out.

Go for a walk, play some golf... something. Just do it alone and make sure you don't have any distractions. You need time to think.

 

[Serg897]

It is times of crisis like these that we actually stand much to gain in terms of experience, and personal growth.

Alle_Gory is right that you need to take some time off and think. Pause before you act. Dont do anything out of anger or emotional impulse. It is during times like these that the risk for doing something like this is greatest, and you WILL regret it if you do.

You need to stand firm and calmly let her know that its not okay to run away with some other dude for a few days. Float the possibility that it may not work out with you if she doesnt respect your wishes. Above all, keep yourself in control.

 

[Desdinova]

I say, "Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed." and she replies with, "Well, I already said yes. I'm sorry, but I really want to go."

My response would have been, "Allright, but when you get back you'll need to find a new boyfriend. Enjoy your visit."

I have a set of my own rules that I follow when it comes to dating women. One is: at the beginning of the relationship, make it clear that if she fvcks up bad, she gets kicked to the curb. I have a low tolerance for bull5hit, and visiting some dude for a few days is more than enough 5hit to start a fertilizer business.

She's disrespecting you, and she will continue to disrespect you now that you've tolerated it. It's time to NEXT her.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I met my girlfriend around 3 years ago and we had been friends with benefits on and off up until about 5 months ago

Stop right here; any girl who is willing to be a fuvk buddy on and off for 5 months IS NOT relationship material for that particular guy. If she was a girl of high quality she would have wanted to be in a relationship with you much sooner. It sounds like she enjoys sleeping with you, but doesn't have as strong an emotional connection as you do.

when we decided to actually commit to one another for the first time. We were together 24/7 and never got sick of each other.

Fast way to relationship doom! This is a blatant rookie mistake... I don't know anything about you or your past experiences with girls, but NEVER spend 24/7 with them unless you enjoy emotional pain.


2 months later, I was in love. Apparently, she was too (but I highly doubt this as of recent).

She wasn't... and most likely you were infatuated with the whole relationship and mistaked it for being in love.


About a 2 months ago, I caught her flirting with another guy via internet. I was pissed. For a week or so, we went back to being friends with benefits, but neither of us actually acted on it (or so I think), so we got back together.

Here interest had been fading for a while by this point and now she's looking for the next guy in line. Hard to say what you should've done without knowing the context of their flirting, but its obvious they were both interested in eachother since she chose to go hangout with him....


Everything went back to normal up until a few days ago,

Wrong.... it was never normal, its just that you chose to keep the blinders on.

when I got really sick and had to stay home for a few days. Suddenly, the next morning, she IM's me, "Would you be pissed if I went to visit Jared (the guy I caught her flirting with) for a few days? He's in the city and he says he'll pick me up on the way back (he lives 6 hours away). I promise you nothing will happen between him and I. We're just friends"

And why didn't you break up with her right here on the spot? She's jumping into a cage with a hungry lion and is telling you she won't get bit.... not likely.


I say, "Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed." and she replies with, "Well, I already said yes. I'm sorry, but I really want to go." An hour later, she left. When she got there, she said, "I made it pretty clear to him that we're just friends." and texted me consistently throughout the day. I was still pissed, but not quite irate at that point. The next day, she didn't text or call at all, even after I texted her several times. Today, I finally spoke to her on AIM and she acted normal again. She said her phone was acting weird and that she didn't receive any of my texts or calls. Bull****.

Blantant disrespect, makes me wonder why she even told you if her mind was already made up. This is a low quality slvt, good for one thing and nothing else. You see this too often, guys trying to make slvts into gfs.... it never works.

She comes back in two days. My mind is set on breaking up with her immediately. Part of me, however, still wants to be with her. Part of me still loves her, even though I'm pretty certain that she's cheating on me. SHOULD I break up with her? Should we go back to being friends with benefits or should I just drop her altogether? How do I get over her? How do I move on? What should I do? Ugh. I hate this. **** love.

1) Break up with her IMMEDIATELY
2) Go no contact
3) Spend time with friends you've ignored over the past few months
4) Stay busy (gym, go out, hobbies, work)
5) Get back out there and meet new girls
6) Look up this thread and laugh at yourself and be happy that you've learned so much

PIMP

 

[backbreaker]

if your first initial thought is anything other than "***** don't ever call me again" you are spineless.

this isn't even bout her anymore man. she is with you, told you that she is going over a guy's hosue that you caught her flirting with AND YOU DONT' THINK THEY AREN'T ****ING? WHO THE **** CARES IF SHE IS TEXTING YOU! who can't send a text after they just caught some guys load.


go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass go.

don't break up with her, jsut dont' talk to her. delete number, if she shows up slam the door in her face, move on. under no circmstances talk to this cumdumbster of a GF again.

that is so disrepsectfvul it pisses me off and i don't even know you.




man sit back and listen to you. you caught her flirting then shes going with him for a few days, even though you said youw ould be pissed.

what do you think happens when she comes back and you aren't pissed. even if she doestn' do anything (which i assure you she's taking it in the ass right now), she will say "well he didn't get mad last time, i can do something with him this time".. but make no mistake, your girl is getting rammed.

 

[Ritch]

Nicely put backbreaker. If I was the dude she went with, I would be doing stuff to her American girls think is dirty. If you put up with that crap she will continue to walk all over you man. She now wears the pants.

 

[jophil28]

My response would have been, "Allright, but when you get back you'll need to find a new boyfriend. Enjoy your visit."

I have a set of my own rules that I follow when it comes to dating women. One is: at the beginning of the relationship, make it clear that if she fvcks up bad, she gets kicked to the curb. I have a low tolerance for bull5hit, and visiting some dude for a few days is more than enough 5hit to start a fertilizer business.

She's disrespecting you, and she will continue to disrespect you now that you've tolerated it. It's time to NEXT her.

Des said it ..This is the way ^^
And I would box up her stuff that she has at your place and leave it on your front lawn.

 

[BlackJackal]

I promise u she is cheating. You better break up with her man.

 

[UserFriendly]

If I were you, when she comes back I'd ask her, theoretically, how she would react if you told her you were meeting some chick you were talking with online. Her answer (or lack of one) will tell you what to do next.

 

[Tiguere]

If I were you, when she comes back I'd ask her, theoretically, how she would react if you told her you were meeting some chick you were talking with online. Her answer (or lack of one) will tell you what to do next.

Please ignore the above advice . Kick her out period.

 

[In2theGame]

I met my girlfriend around 3 years ago and we had been friends with benefits on and off up until about 5 months ago when we decided to actually commit to one another for the first time. We were together 24/7 and never got sick of each other. 2 months later, I was in love. Apparently, she was too (but I highly doubt this as of recent).

About a 2 months ago, I caught her flirting with another guy via internet. I was pissed. For a week or so, we went back to being friends with benefits, but neither of us actually acted on it (or so I think), so we got back together. Everything went back to normal up until a few days ago, when I got really sick and had to stay home for a few days. Suddenly, the next morning, she IM's me, "Would you be pissed if I went to visit Jared (the guy I caught her flirting with) for a few days? He's in the city and he says he'll pick me up on the way back (he lives 6 hours away). I promise you nothing will happen between him and I. We're just friends"

I say, "Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed." and she replies with, "Well, I already said yes. I'm sorry, but I really want to go." An hour later, she left. When she got there, she said, "I made it pretty clear to him that we're just friends." and texted me consistently throughout the day. I was still pissed, but not quite irate at that point. The next day, she didn't text or call at all, even after I texted her several times. Today, I finally spoke to her on AIM and she acted normal again. She said her phone was acting weird and that she didn't receive any of my texts or calls. Bull****.

She comes back in two days. My mind is set on breaking up with her immediately. Part of me, however, still wants to be with her. Part of me still loves her, even though I'm pretty certain that she's cheating on me. SHOULD I break up with her? Should we go back to being friends with benefits or should I just drop her altogether? How do I get over her? How do I move on? What should I do? Ugh. I hate this. **** love.

Dont sweat it, you should dump her ass without question. I wouldnt even waste my time worrying about it. I like the "My phone was acting weird" line LOL classic BS line. By the way, i see your in Staten Island, why are you worrying about this chick when you could hit up spots like Deja Vu (used to be PURE Lounge) Three Lounge, Black Dog, Lev 1 etc., theres alot of spots with hot chicks around. Im on the Island too bro

 

[Robert28]

don't breakup with her.......yet!!! act like this situation isn't bothering you at all. it's hard to do i know, but just trust me, don't do anything just yet. when she gets back from her little "vacation" she's going to want to hangout with you most likely. two things are going to most likely happen, she's going to dump you because she now has feelings for the guy she went to see, or she's going to reamain with you...her comfort zone that she can control. when she does text or call you, and she will, and asks to hangout, calmly reply "sorry i can't. while you were gone i met this girl and we're hanging out tonight". her reaction/response will tell you where you stand with her. see how she likes walking around in your shoes for once. it'll be classic!

 

[backbreaker]

the problem with that advice robert is that at the core, you have made this about her. this is not about her.

this is about him and his feelings. he feels disrespected therefore he should server all contact.

its' actions like this, how you build value and self worth, by not graveling to a tramp that just caught some dudes taco sauce. By saying to yourself no i'm better than that and no i won't stand for this **** and acting on it. by having the balls to stand up and walk away when you are not being treated with the respect that you feel


she's done brah.t his isn't about her at all anymore. this is about you, and how can you come out of this a better person

 

[Warrior74]

Walk away. Don't even call, no break up speech or trying to explain. When she calls let it go to voice mail until she gets the point. Don't even listen to em, just delete em. I promise you they will grow in desperation and hilarity.

Kinda like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2AV3cmEWX4