SideShow Bob
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 7, 2003
- Messages
- 27
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As I read over the various threads on sosuave.com, I come across a disturbing trend. Amongst our ranks of newbie and aspiring DJs, there exists a sentimment by dozens of posters that life ain't worth living if you aren't getting *****. Several threads are dedicated to people who say that they lead an unsatisfying existance because they aren't getting action from dozens of girls, or just one... even if they love every other aspect of their life.
Even if they are the captain of the basketball team, a straight A student, or have lots of friends, they are in the dumps because they aren't getting tail.
In another thread, it was stated that there are numerous traps in life. One of them is "The Trap of the Perfect Life" and it's basic implication is that people often sit and dwell, depressed that they are not living up to some standard that they have created for themselves. They ignore the good in their life, and all the wonderful benefits and pleasures they have in their life, and dwell on what is lacking from some fantasy they have of who they should be. Do you really want this to be you? Is sitting and mopping really the answer or solution to inching towards your desires? Get out there! Do what you excel at! The situation and girls will come! Just don't stress and dwell on it!
Another one would be the Trap of Wishing You Were Something. Many newbie DJs crave and desire to become something that they aren't necessarily at this moment. They crave to pick up dozens of girls at the snap of a finger, even if it means abandoning the simple things they enjoy in life (like doing something rather than reading sosuave, or having several friends that are girls that you don't necessarily screw). Then there are the insecure, who wish to get from point A to point C, without ever travelling through B. They want to go from being super insecure, fat, and wearing rags to banging girls left and right, and grow impatient when they learn that they must first become confident with themselves.
And this is what my post is about, point B. It's about being satisfied, no.. not just satsified, but LOVING your life and yourself. You see, your life should not revolve around picking girls up UNTIL you are satisfied with who you are when you are not getting play. Anyone who thinks that picking up chicks will lead you to self fullfillment is incorrect.
Take me. I went from being an insecure AFC (granted, an AFC who did get action from a few long term girlfriends - YES - even getting head i was still an insecure AFC, just one who got sucked off when the stars somehow magically aligned)... I have used this site a little bit to have more success with one night pickups (and have been quite succesful at that) BUT mainly, I use this site for the inspriring articles by Pook, Adonis and the like on Confidence.. In the last few months, my self impression has soared, soo much to the point that I feel confident enough to be writing this.
My point is, don't make getting chicks the top priority in your life. You can have several girls in drunken one night stands, but ultimately, you will realize that you are getting no where and still unhappy. Remember, it's about you. So before you read another post about how to talk to a chick at the weight room, or whether or not mini golf is a good idea for a sixth date, I recommend making sure that you feel great about yourself. If you don't, then there are several things you can do:
Join a Weight Room - Work out and get in shape. Even if you only go from being able to bicep curl 5 pounds to 8 pounds, the blood pumping through your body will make you feel more than refreshed, and give you a positive outlook on your image.
Discover your Talent, and Excel - Your uniqueness is what defines you, and it is what ultimately makes you attractive.
Take up an Extreme Sport - Be it rock climbing (my preference), hiking, kayaking, skate boarding, or mountain biking, taking up an extreme sport, especially one outdoors, will refresh you mentally, and it gives you the feel of being a cut above the rest of those city slickers.
Join a Dance Class - I know where I live they offer 2 dollar hip hop lessons. Take them. Being able to dance properly really boosts your confidence.
Don't Make the Move - At the next party you're at, make sure that you totally act uninterested in the girls, unless you're asking them about their amazing life stories. It will be noticed, and at the end of the day, when you realize you could have gotten play, but didn't, your confidence will soar, especially at the next party, when they come to you.
Get Good At Pool It's simply a confident enducing sport, especially when others watch.
Spend A Week in Solitude I often will spend one day a week, sometimes more (consecutive days)... Alone. I'll go to the gym, meditate, do yoga, climb, and read.. By the time I'm done, I'm so sure of myself to do anything that I can face just about any scenario.
In the end, and interestingly enough, when it comes to finding girls, when you are going about your business, acting as if you have a purpose, they will find you attractive, and come to you.
You will find yourself getting more smiles, from girls who it seems are trying deliberatly to capture your attention, and get you out of your zone!
Once they do this, smile back (and you will find it soo easy! cause you are confident and realize that you don't need rehearsed lines or anything cause if it doesn't work out, who cares! you're still satisfied with your life!) , and then work your DJ skills.
So relax. Don't worry. Make sure you love yourself, before you try and DJ someone else into loving you.
SideShow
Even if they are the captain of the basketball team, a straight A student, or have lots of friends, they are in the dumps because they aren't getting tail.
In another thread, it was stated that there are numerous traps in life. One of them is "The Trap of the Perfect Life" and it's basic implication is that people often sit and dwell, depressed that they are not living up to some standard that they have created for themselves. They ignore the good in their life, and all the wonderful benefits and pleasures they have in their life, and dwell on what is lacking from some fantasy they have of who they should be. Do you really want this to be you? Is sitting and mopping really the answer or solution to inching towards your desires? Get out there! Do what you excel at! The situation and girls will come! Just don't stress and dwell on it!
Another one would be the Trap of Wishing You Were Something. Many newbie DJs crave and desire to become something that they aren't necessarily at this moment. They crave to pick up dozens of girls at the snap of a finger, even if it means abandoning the simple things they enjoy in life (like doing something rather than reading sosuave, or having several friends that are girls that you don't necessarily screw). Then there are the insecure, who wish to get from point A to point C, without ever travelling through B. They want to go from being super insecure, fat, and wearing rags to banging girls left and right, and grow impatient when they learn that they must first become confident with themselves.
And this is what my post is about, point B. It's about being satisfied, no.. not just satsified, but LOVING your life and yourself. You see, your life should not revolve around picking girls up UNTIL you are satisfied with who you are when you are not getting play. Anyone who thinks that picking up chicks will lead you to self fullfillment is incorrect.
Take me. I went from being an insecure AFC (granted, an AFC who did get action from a few long term girlfriends - YES - even getting head i was still an insecure AFC, just one who got sucked off when the stars somehow magically aligned)... I have used this site a little bit to have more success with one night pickups (and have been quite succesful at that) BUT mainly, I use this site for the inspriring articles by Pook, Adonis and the like on Confidence.. In the last few months, my self impression has soared, soo much to the point that I feel confident enough to be writing this.
My point is, don't make getting chicks the top priority in your life. You can have several girls in drunken one night stands, but ultimately, you will realize that you are getting no where and still unhappy. Remember, it's about you. So before you read another post about how to talk to a chick at the weight room, or whether or not mini golf is a good idea for a sixth date, I recommend making sure that you feel great about yourself. If you don't, then there are several things you can do:
Join a Weight Room - Work out and get in shape. Even if you only go from being able to bicep curl 5 pounds to 8 pounds, the blood pumping through your body will make you feel more than refreshed, and give you a positive outlook on your image.
Discover your Talent, and Excel - Your uniqueness is what defines you, and it is what ultimately makes you attractive.
Take up an Extreme Sport - Be it rock climbing (my preference), hiking, kayaking, skate boarding, or mountain biking, taking up an extreme sport, especially one outdoors, will refresh you mentally, and it gives you the feel of being a cut above the rest of those city slickers.
Join a Dance Class - I know where I live they offer 2 dollar hip hop lessons. Take them. Being able to dance properly really boosts your confidence.
Don't Make the Move - At the next party you're at, make sure that you totally act uninterested in the girls, unless you're asking them about their amazing life stories. It will be noticed, and at the end of the day, when you realize you could have gotten play, but didn't, your confidence will soar, especially at the next party, when they come to you.
Get Good At Pool It's simply a confident enducing sport, especially when others watch.
Spend A Week in Solitude I often will spend one day a week, sometimes more (consecutive days)... Alone. I'll go to the gym, meditate, do yoga, climb, and read.. By the time I'm done, I'm so sure of myself to do anything that I can face just about any scenario.
In the end, and interestingly enough, when it comes to finding girls, when you are going about your business, acting as if you have a purpose, they will find you attractive, and come to you.
You will find yourself getting more smiles, from girls who it seems are trying deliberatly to capture your attention, and get you out of your zone!
Once they do this, smile back (and you will find it soo easy! cause you are confident and realize that you don't need rehearsed lines or anything cause if it doesn't work out, who cares! you're still satisfied with your life!) , and then work your DJ skills.
So relax. Don't worry. Make sure you love yourself, before you try and DJ someone else into loving you.
SideShow
