Just broken up with all of a sudden

anointed

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Today i was talking to my girl just like i do every day she was telling me about various things and i said some thigns that made her think i dont trust her that i was possessive i think and suddenly out of nowhere she calls me up to say that she needs to take time off just to see if she really likes me or is just used to me.

It was a total mindfvck. She went from sweet to that all in the space of an hour. Her first call was that i dont trust her and i tried to tell her i do.. the next call was her just saying flat out "I was afraid to say anything but its better i say it now than later"... it went from "i need to see if i really like u" to "I dont wana be with you, i dont need a guy"

The history of this chick is basically i stole her from her ******* guy who treated her like crap. All of her previous bfs have and to be hoenst ive also felt this distance between us.

She said the "Its me not you" thing, and i said "I know its you, you cant make eye contact with me, your afraid to get angry with me and your always so polite and arnt really yourself" - she prides herself in being able to be fake and stuff and nobody REALLY knwos her apart from her sis. I said "Hows anybody gonna know you if youre ashamed of yourself and whatever past you have.. youre just giving me the boot cos youre afraid" - anyway i talked a bunch of stuff relating to that and she just listened quietly n said she felt bad and was crying and that i was right.. and then i told her to goto sleep and call me tommorow when shes thinking straight, then i ended the call.

What the hell is teh deal with this kinda girl?? Can girls honestly be totally faceless for a long period of time.. doing nice stuff sayin nice stuff etc etc.. even making plans with me for the future and suddenly blam.. does it have anything to do with the fact shes always been treated like crap with guys and is therefore super protective of herself and fake and doesnt talk about herself??

what do i do from here? Im thinking to ignore her, but shes stubborn. Cant help thinking if i take the "I dont care approach" shell be like "Ok im gona just block it all down inside like i do everything and i dont NEED him anyway" - which i guess is her call..

But what do i do if i want her?? cos ive dated 100 girls and i have everything in common personality/interest wise with this one, shes just distant.. is it cos im a rebound or? grrrrr! What to do!?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Sir Juanalot said:
Drop all contact with her for 2 weeks, if she doesnt call, she aint interested.
Out of curiosity, why two weeks specifically?
 

anointed

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does this always work? i mean what if she just thinks "well he doesnt care about me.. fine.. i best leave him find someone better" - i mean, this girl is strange in someways.. like overly humble or caring etc...or is there no way she would do that if she does infact like me alot?
 

BlackJackal

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You'll never no dude. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out such a person. The thing is, her issues run way to deep for you to comprehend. It all comes down to whether or not you want to put up with such a person.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

anointed

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i wanna help her n her to open up. She dont trust me to do that. Should i not bother you mean?? Is it a losing battle to try that?
 

Frenchconnection

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Are you sure you want to continue a relationship with someone who can drop you in a heart beat?

Not sure what you're looking for but I would be very careful.
 

anointed

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i dunno, i guess im always out to learn. I wana know why shes doin that. Acutlaly i dont feel that bad, we havnt been together a for a huge period of time.
 

bigjohnson

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She hates you because you don't use the shift key. Find another illiterate and be happy making illiterate babies.

Wheew.

Now that I got that out of my system, I'd say you need to face the fact that you might have lost her due to being too much of a damn lapdog. First rule is don't listen to what they say, watch what they do. The whole womanezze thing is crap, they just say random words but their actions say everything you need to know.

Occupy your time with other things. DO NOT occupy your time by "ignoring her" as that's the wrong mindset and sends completely wrong signals. Get busy doing things you enjoy and she'll either toe the line or not. Either way you're better off.
 

anointed

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If by lapdog you mean 'too perfect, too nice' etc then i guess youre right. Its possible things were going a bit TOO smoothly than what shes used to. Always forget that rule you mentioend and to be honest, i already knew the answer to this before i posted. Move on, dont worry about her.
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

bigjohnson

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I think you're a lot like I used to be - you have the makings of a good man in you but you've listened to the western programming too well. Your life cannot revolve around her or someday she won't be there anymore. It's counter what Walt Disney Studios tells us but it's 100% true.

Some people will tell you or at least suggest that you need to be an ass to keep her interest - this is not true. But you can't be "too nice, too perfect" because it's like "too much water" - there is such a thing as way too much of a thing.

Cultivate your own independent life and if she want's in make a spot for her, but it's got to be on your terms.
 

anointed

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she just hit me up to tell me that she couldnt sleep n doesnt know who she is. She siad her sister asked her "are you sad" she said no and laughed and her sis told her shes faking it and she said she was.. and shes stressed n unsure of herself.. i said i cant bee with someone that unpredictable and i have to think and ill call her in 3 days.
 

bigjohnson

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Well hope it works for you, but saying "I'll call you in 3 days" is sorta lame to me. I would recommend letting her know you're just doing your thing and there's no hard feelings. Making a drama out of it feeds the idea that you are the needy one in the relationship.

If you want to get in touch that's fine, but it shouldn't be something where she or "you as a couple" are the focus, it should be something you like to do and she can fit into it .... or not.

Don't be mean, or an ass, but be your own guy. You don't need her, she needs you. Repeat it.
 

Sir Juanalot

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Out of curiosity, why two weeks specifically?
No particular reason, i think its a decent amount of time to let her think, and start to wonder, and gives her 2 weekends to go out and have fun and figure out what she wants, probably better to say "wait for her to get in touch, however long, and get your plates a spinning"
 

BlackJackal

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To get throught to such a person, you'd have to put yourself in a psychyatrist role so to speak.
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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