Just a simple thought

[jakethasnake]

Just a simple thought...

Someone recently asked why some of the DJs here do not date average girls, and insist on dating only knockouts.


I have to say that I agree to this question. My gut instinct tells me that 80% of the men here are average, some in more aspects than others. Some are average looking, some have average (plain) personalitiies, some have average finanacial/social situations, some a (unfortunate) combination of all of the above.


Yet these same guys, who are still only BEGINNING to grasp what it means to be a fun and interesting guy INSIST on going for the 8s and 9s. They chase the hotties with boyfriends, hoping to entice them to leave him for them. They try to ask out the 9s with weak game, and then get shot down or politely turned down.
And thus their self-esteem gets shaken even more, leading to retarded rants on this forum. I REALLY hate seeing those dumb-azz rants on sosuave.com!


I think the guys need to come back to reality. Average or ugly men dating hot women is RARE. I mean rare as fvck. Sure there are exceptions everywhere, but that is exactly what it is... an EXCEPTION. only about 10 in 1000 ugly men are shacked up with a hottie (for various reasons).


I am not advocating a life of mediocrity here. I am all for gradually working up your game over the years to maximize your appeal to the hotter ones. But what I do not understand is how some people here (esp the ugly/plain/boring dudes) who refuse to date girls who are on par or only slightly higher than they are on looks. I've met some less than perfect girls (6-7) who turned out to be pretty amazing in other aspects, and had a great time. I would definately be a poorer man if I only date girls based on looks alone. What are you thinking? Do you honestly think that a SI Illustrated model type would salivate over a Seth Green look-alike if he plays mindtricks on them? Despite the over-exaggerated claims of success here, it is rare.


I think that the idiotic outlook on women some of these guys have are ruining their confidence and also their potential as men. Remember, we are a product of our past relationships. Having wonderful relationships with all types of women will build you a wonderful personality and give you many life experiences. THAT is what makes a dynamic, exciting man.


Today I am not a true master DJ by any means, but I still hold my ground. In time as I make money, get my own place and build a promising career, I am certain that my stock will rise. I can see myself dating 9s when I'm in my mid-to-late 20s. For now, I stick to roughyl 6s and 7s, and the occaisional 8 (not to say I turn down a total hottie if I get the chance! Duh! ).


One last thing.... people usually shoot back at these kinds of posts with comments along the lines of, "Oh, don't be bitter because you can't get the hotties... no need to drag the rest of us down with you." I scoff at those comments because the fact is that 90% of you guys aren't getting ANY puzzy to begin with! That poll on 'sexual experience' is telling (FYI I do have sexual experience).


This isn't an attempt to somehow "take others down with me". It's a slap on the backside of thosewannabe-DJs' head, to bring them back to reality.

 

[Demon]

I only go for girls that are between 6 and 7. Anything lower is ass and anything higher is a bytch to deal with. By the way, what's wrong with Seth Green?

 

[Duke]

Urm Jake, I see what you're saying about ugly dudes going out with hot girls being an exception. But I think that this line of thinking is bad. Back when I had oneitus, I thought that the chick was a 10, while most of my friends thought of her as a 6 or a 7. You could be shooting yourself in the foot by convincing yourself that a chick is too hot for you. You're telling yourself "I'm not good enough" and I really don't think that fits with the whole DJ mentality.

I dunno man, maybe I've been brainwashed by David D's newsletters, but I still say it's better to shoot for the moon, even if you miss.

I don't think you should go for average chicks JUST BECAUSE you think it's all you can get. If I did that, I wouldn't be satisfied, and the girl wouldn't be as happy as she would be with someone who liked her more.

I will admit that I haven't had massive amounts of field experience yet. I'm trying to DJ all the chicks and then have my pick out of the ones that bite. Can't lose this way. If a 9 doesn't show interest, no hit to the self esteem because I wasn't going after her specifically.

I do get the gist of what you said, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying that men are more shallow than women most of the time, so you'll sometimes see an ugguy with a hotchick but rarely or never see a good lookin' fella with an uggirl.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Duke

I don't think you should go for average chicks JUST BECAUSE you think it's all you can get.

I never said anything along those lines. My point is that a balance should be made between reality and fantastic expectations. Thanks for the response, though.

 

[Demon]

Have you ever noticed that girls tend to go down 3 points after you've fooled around, etc.? Girls I once thought were 9s and 10s look like 6s and 7s now.

6s and 7s aren't ugly. Not at all.

 

[BruticusMaximus]

My standards are too high, I know this. But at times in the past I have been hit on by incredibly good looking women (in my opinion) for whatever reason and it has probably given me unrealistic expectations.

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Never, ever settle for second best. With the amount of women on this planet, and being how short life is, either you go for the best, or look back years later and regret ever trying.

 

[jakethasnake]

Good call InLaws, but I wasn't insinuating settling for second best. Not at all. And for that fvcking matter, WHY am I defending myself? LOL!! I made a perfectly legitimate point.


What I'm saying is that thanks to the unrealistic expectations I formulated with what I read here as a newly anoninted beginner-DJ, I've passed on several chances with slightly above-average looking girls who were SLAMMIN' in other areas. I regret that, and I will never do it again. I encourage other DJs to not fall in that trap. I won't tolerate an ogre, but I will not pass up on a great gal because she isn't 5'10" with legs upto her armpits and a pair of 38D tits.


Moral of the story: be a discriminating gentleman, but if you discriminate too much, you're a poorer man for it. Your choice. Have a plethora of experiences with average but solid women as well as knockouts, or score once a decade with hotties and curse yourself and womanhood for getting shot down more often than not.

 

[drZaius09]

The problem here is that we can't have an objective debate over a topic based on subjective information. Case in point: most girls that I am highly attracted to would probably be placed in the 5-7 category by most guys on this board and most guys I know. Those here that would rank a girl a 9 or a 9.5 would probably have a much lower standing in my mind. I LIKE average girls. Average girls turn me on way more, especially ones that have a unique look to them that would not necessarily be considered drop-dead gorgeous.

Nevertheless, when it comes to dating/sexual relations, there are only two categories for me: 1)acceptable and 2)not acceptable. Less attractive guys (like myself) don't have the luxury to rank.

 

[jlujan]

Dude,


Why did Sir Edmund Hillary a Bee keeper conquer Mt Everest?

 

[Starman]

"Average or ugly men dating hot women is RARE."

Ive seen many average/ugly men with beautiful women..

its seeems like its the average/ugly guys always looking for a relationship..while the better looking guys are usually single..and dating multiple women..and rarely settling down...kinda like they are always looking for the bigger better deal..

obviosly this isnt always the case..but usually true

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Starman
"Average or ugly men dating hot women is RARE."

Ive seen many average/ugly men with beautiful women..

Overexaggeration of the year goes to... Starman.


Come on man. Your contention that these types of couples are common are, if you think carefully about it, based on your subjective PERCEPTIONS. Nature follows a hard and steady rule, overall. Unless the ugly have other attributes to compensate, you won't see too many couples that are severly imbalanced in the looks department. Maybe by a point or even two, but rarely more. The couples you notice seem that much more noticeable because it goes STRONGLY against what you've been indoctrinated into, i.e. "hot chicks should only be with hot guys, vice versa". IF you see an example that goes against that archetype, it sticks out even more in your eyes, thus you notice it.

Btw, I'm not saying that they don't exist. 1/100 look-imbalanced couples adds up to 10,000/1,000,000 (ten thousand out of 1 million), so they are pretty numerous, in the larger scheme of things. But you have to realize that you don't KNOW 1 million people. No one does. So out of a sample of several hundred people you might meet in your life, a small proportion of them have sig others that are much hotter than they are. It's pure statistics, plain and simple.


So what I'm saying is, considering the odds, blindly trying to bed only the 9s and 10s is a very stupid practice indeed. You stand to lose a lot if you do that. And my impression is that most of the guys here are. They have been so enticed and blinded by the bling-bling promises of the DJ principles, and hope to land models all the time, despite that many of these guys are pimple faced dorks or misfits (sorry guys... it's true).

 

[Unbridled_1]

Nice post, Jake.

One thing I noticed about women, is that often the most insecure HB's consider looks the most important (and they are often not the best looking). I think they are trying to compensate for there own appearance insecurities by dating the best looking guys. Guys also do this, compensating for their own insecurities by having a trophy girlfriend. I think the more secure and confident you are, looks become just another piece of the puzzle (although you still use them to qualify someone). They are important, but not everything.

Also, good job Jake in not mentioning race/ethnicity in this thread. I knew you could do it.

 

[Demon]

I agree with drZaius09. Sure, any woman above 6-7 is going to be really hot, but I have to be realistic. In SoCal, the extreme hotties really have no social skills. All looks, no brain, and a bad personality. There's a few exceptions where some are honor students, etc., but the general rule is if you aim too high, you'll miss. If you aim low, you'll hit something surely, but if you aim right in the middle, you'll get something you'll like.

 

[-Zero_h0uR-]

I'm still fairly new here, no question about that.

I do agree with you though, jake.

I'm looking for experience right now, so I approach women. Be they a 3 or 4, or an 8 or 9. I have had a lot of closes recently with 6's and 7's, and I'm happy with that. I think that too many new guys sit here for a super hottie and then feel so trashed when they're let down. I remember reading on the main page of sosuave.com once how you should start small. I see almost no guys here starting small (as in 3's). Most new guys sit here and read the forums and get a grasp of a few good ideas, and jump in head first for the girl they've been eyeing since they first met that girl.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, a great DJ, or anything like that. HOWEVER, my game is pretty good now, and I think that making approach after approach has built my confidence up enough to where I don't care who it is, I just do it for the fun of the approach.

I guess this is what separates the "wanna-be's" from the "will-be's."

-- Zero-

 

[b_elusive_eyes]

Hey Snake....

Screw waiting to be quote on quote successful in time...work on yourself now...your look...personality..flirting techniques...clothing...hair...etc....develop an aura about yourself at an early age...have a mystery about yourself and get after it...I surprised myself at the kind of girls I got when I was 18 thru 24...I just developed a carefree atitude that nothing could bother me and took my shot at girls that when I was much younger I was jacking off to until I came into my own to a degree...having your own apartment is a great advantage as you will find...Independence!!!! I had some girls blow me off at first but I acted like I could care less...than I found they chase me and are intrigued by me...like that poster wrote on here always act like you are interested in no one...be unique but always be yourself and always be confident and take care of yourself. like in life never give up on girls or your affect on them.

 

[es_mer8]

I aim high because I can. I landed an 8 that to me is amazing. I've known her for about 3 years, well known of her and she has never seriously dated anyone. All the people she dated were AFCs that she left because they wrote poetry and gave her flowers as opposed to doing something that isn't clichéd. We've been in 4 get togethers and the last time, I made out with her to the point where I swear I was going to bed her but since I didn't have any rubbers, I stopped. I basically got to feel every part of her body though. I got some rubbers in case the next time, I can go all the way.

This is me, 5'11", low 240s, and to be frank, I'm fat. However I was almost a master of words with her, everything seemed to flow right and the last time I got to see and basically massage her boobs (While making out of course), something I masturbated about no more than a month ago. So I know for a fact that its possible. I've looked in the mirror and realize that I'm a 6. I think I got a decent face. I feel that my confidence in myself physically will go up as soon as I get buff, lose weight, and get whiter teeth.

I aim high because its possible. Lets be real honest here, just estimate how many DJs there are in the world. I heard someone here say 240 million and I have to laugh about that. The real number is closer to 2.4 million if that and they're spread throughout the world. At the HS I used to go to, I knew of maybe only 4-5 DJs in the school out of about 900 males. Seriously. Several hundred were just lame ass AFCs that don't have girlfriends or landed with really ugly ones because they felt they could do no better. A hundred or so actually have girlfriends. Seriously, the amount of men and women that did not have relationships (even the hot ones) was staggering so many times at school I felt good because I knew there were so many other people in the same boat as I.

DJs are a master of words. Women love conversation for a reason and if the man is able to master it, he has a major advantage over the rest. Yeah there are a lot of bimbos and hos that really go after looks but thats few. Thats why this board also has a section on making yourself look good and fit; because it is a factor. Having money is too but again, dressing nice can give that impression that you got money. So I aim high and I'm getting results from it so I have no problem with it.

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
Just a simple thought...

Someone recently asked why some of the DJs here do not date average girls, and insist on dating only knockouts.


I have to say that I agree to this question. My gut instinct tells me that 80% of the men here are average, some in more aspects than others. Some are average looking, some have average (plain) personalitiies, some have average finanacial/social situations, some a (unfortunate) combination of all of the above.


Yet these same guys, who are still only BEGINNING to grasp what it means to be a fun and interesting guy INSIST on going for the 8s and 9s. They chase the hotties with boyfriends, hoping to entice them to leave him for them. They try to ask out the 9s with weak game, and then get shot down or politely turned down.
And thus their self-esteem gets shaken even more, leading to retarded rants on this forum. I REALLY hate seeing those dumb-azz rants on sosuave.com!


I think the guys need to come back to reality. Average or ugly men dating hot women is RARE. I mean rare as fvck. Sure there are exceptions everywhere, but that is exactly what it is... an EXCEPTION. only about 10 in 1000 ugly men are shacked up with a hottie (for various reasons).


I am not advocating a life of mediocrity here. I am all for gradually working up your game over the years to maximize your appeal to the hotter ones. But what I do not understand is how some people here (esp the ugly/plain/boring dudes) who refuse to date girls who are on par or only slightly higher than they are on looks. I've met some less than perfect girls (6-7) who turned out to be pretty amazing in other aspects, and had a great time. I would definately be a poorer man if I only date girls based on looks alone. What are you thinking? Do you honestly think that a SI Illustrated model type would salivate over a Seth Green look-alike if he plays mindtricks on them? Despite the over-exaggerated claims of success here, it is rare.


I think that the idiotic outlook on women some of these guys have are ruining their confidence and also their potential as men. Remember, we are a product of our past relationships. Having wonderful relationships with all types of women will build you a wonderful personality and give you many life experiences. THAT is what makes a dynamic, exciting man.


Today I am not a true master DJ by any means, but I still hold my ground. In time as I make money, get my own place and build a promising career, I am certain that my stock will rise. I can see myself dating 9s when I'm in my mid-to-late 20s. For now, I stick to roughyl 6s and 7s, and the occaisional 8 (not to say I turn down a total hottie if I get the chance! Duh! ).


One last thing.... people usually shoot back at these kinds of posts with comments along the lines of, "Oh, don't be bitter because you can't get the hotties... no need to drag the rest of us down with you." I scoff at those comments because the fact is that 90% of you guys aren't getting ANY puzzy to begin with! That poll on 'sexual experience' is telling (FYI I do have sexual experience).


This isn't an attempt to somehow "take others down with me". It's a slap on the backside of thosewannabe-DJs' head, to bring them back to reality.

I think that's the first real scoffing we've had on this forum.

heh heh.

It's good advice. I think the main reason that some guys go right for the hotties (other than the obvious) is that they feel the hotter the chick, the more worthwhile THEY are.

It's good not to settle, but some guys have a mixed up idea of what "settling" for a woman is. I suppose it's not a definate, but there are some ideas most of us would agree on.

 

[One on One]

The key is to go for your type, the girls that you find hot, but not every guy will.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Unbridled_1

Also, good job Jake in not mentioning race/ethnicity in this thread. I knew you could do it.

Lately, it seems you can't stop bringing that up yourself. But hey -- thanks! I finally did it!