Just a funny story about why my life sucks

[Skel]

Im so smooth that you just cant get any smoother. Trust me, if you look in the dictionary under smooth my face would be next to it.

So here is the situation

My girlfriend, ex now freaked out on me so I basically told her how it is.

So she was away , somewhere or another, and I was at home drinking and smoking some of the icky and on the internet. I decided to go to this website where you can order those mexican chicks as brides just to kind of fantasize about one of these young specimens doing my laundry and cooking and stuff like that cuz my girl, err ex dont do anything . So being who I am, I passed out on the bed with the damn netscape open and who wakes me up? Ya my girl did.

Now mind you, I dont think there is anything wrong with looking at a few photos on the net, its not like i placed an order for a bride or anything.

Here is how it went

On the bed sleeping<---me

yells, "WTF Motherf#cker, WTF, lalala a few minutes of more swears.....

me, "huh" ?( no idea whats going on)

"Why you looking at other girls, you a pevert or something? Why are you on the iternet trying to get a replacement for me.....more swears......"

So basically im pissed off because this is total BS

" Look, she doesent speak english and she knows how to cook. If you knew how to cook and couldnt speak english i would like you a whole lot better you b*tch'

Basically i explained to her what these girls had that she didnt. You know, all the stuff like skillz of cooking and cleaning and sex and no talkie talkie because no speaky english and could she please STFU because your an annoying *****.


Just a pointless little post about my life that is an every day drama. I hope you all realize what you have because some of us live this **** daily, its called living in the projects. In the Pj's it seems that you cant escape drama, even from the nicest of people...

 

[Skel]

well i was gonna leave this part out but it really goes with the story.

I was arrested for beating her up so she claimed. She said i slapped her in the face and pushed her out of my house. All untrue however, i never touched a female like that in my life.

Ya so anyways i spent 2 nights in jail because of an internet site.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

How did she get in your place? Never give her a key to your place!

Never be with a hor that lies and puts men in jail!!

Solution: "Say no to Hos!!!!!"

 

[Trapspringer]

I learned the hard way to never give a girl a key to your place unless you are about to marry her.

I grew up in a very rough neighborhood so even though I live in a great neighborhhod at the time,
I still kept my careful habits. Well, I broke up with a chic I was dating at the time. The next day while I was sleeping, I heard someone come through my bedroom door( I am a light sleeper). I immediately jumped up and grabbed my gun from the nightstand next to my bed.
All of a sudden, I hear the girl screaming at the top of her lungs. I realized that it was her. She scared the living sh!t out of me.

She said she couldn't sleep because of our fight and had come over to spend the night with me. We had broken up before this time and I showed up at her house for the same reason because I had behaved wrongly and wanted her forgiveness but I knocked on her door and waited until she answered it.

I was so pissed for her surprising me like that because I grew up with a fear of someone breaking into my home and killing my family. I was also mugged before.

Since she had one of her friends drop her off, I drove her home and gave her a lecture on how she should never surpsrise me like that. The night could have ended much worse. The next night, I threw that damn gun in the river by my house and have never owned one since.
I can now see why experts say, if you own a gun, you are most likely to hurt someone you care about with it.

Ironically me and her actually worked things out and continued to date a while longer but I took the key to my place from her and never gave her it back to her even though I had a key to her place. After that night, she never said any thing about me having a key to her place and she did not have one to mine. So now no key exchanges unless we are engaged or something.

 

[Trapspringer]

By the way, skel, your story is very funny except for the jail part.

Movie spoiler below.

It reminds my of that movie with Jim Carrey when he was schizo and Renee what's-her-name bust into his hotel room while he was sleeping and he had a picture of her, a bottle of lotion, and box of kleenex on the nightstand next to his bed.

 

[Skel]

she dont have a key. I fell asleep on the bed and my door i left unlocked

 

[Reto]

Why are chicks so wacked? That is too funny Skel !!!

My ex use to steal my Playboys and Maxims. She said I didn't need them since I had her... Yeah, right !! How can a chick be jealous of a magazine ? It's just a magazine !

 

[Trapspringer]

Originally posted by Skel
she dont have a key. I fell asleep on the bed and my door i left unlocked

Man, you must live in Canada or somehwhere. We are too chicken to do that in that in most of the US.

 

[NewMan]

YOu fell asleep on your bed?

Thats what you get for smoking the Green stuff...

 

[Skel]

Thats what a bed is for, to fall alseep on. NO i dont live in Canada.... Hartford CT represent