Jesus Christ Guys

[diu]

I come here looking for advice, and I see words typed by people that probably haven't had a relationship longer than three months. I have a great feeling that there are people here who have gone through many meaningful relationships and can actually tell who they keyboard jockeys are as well.

Every time a girl wants to go out, she's gonna cheat on you? Every time a girl talks to a guy on the phone, it's bad? You guys wonder when she's sh*t testing and when you should keep quiet, to not appear insecure. I even read once that this girl was going to this party alone (she invited the guy, but he couldn't make it), and everyone told him to dump her because she was going to cheat on him? Gosh!

I go to parties alone most of the time, and I have some overseas events where I'll have to travel and stay with attractive colleagues to conduct training, but my girlfriend doesn't make a big deal out of it. She even encourages me because I've gotta do what I've gotta do, and she knows it.

I bet the people that typed that doesn't even know what it feels like to go to a party, while having a girlfriend nag you to death or sulk at home. Are you guys so insecure that you can't even let your girlfriend go to a party? Take it as a test. If she cheats on you, you wouldn't wanna be with her anyways! Cliche, I know. But hey, if she wants to cheat, she will. It wouldn't even be at the party, and she wouldn't even let you know about it.

I guess the main point is that many guys are forgetting Number One. I guess you guys have been so busy chasing girls, devising tactics, and wondering what her latest action equates to, that you forget about yourself. Hell, nothing will shake me much if I get my promotion in my job, or get headhunted by a better company. I know I already have a good body, though I'm short, so that's cleared. I have a healthy network of friends, so losing a girl in my life wouldn't be the end of the world.

Wake up guys, it's not the girls. They're not the enemy. YOU are your own worst enemy. How many times have you spent worrying if your girlfriend was out cheating on you only to find out that she was actually out with her girlfriends? How many times have you ruined otherwise great dates with your insecure questions and arguments to things that never actually happened? Their actions create fear in you, only if you're not grounded yourself. That's what it is right, fear? Or else why would you guys type "Next" at every damn opportunity you get?

Girlfriend touches another guy? "Next"
Girlfriend smiles at another guy? "Next"
Looks at another guy? "Next"
Looks at the sky? "Next"
Takes a pee? "Next?"

Look, I've been burnt before, and I know most of us here have been burnt BAD. And that's how most of us found this site. But it's ridiculous to let that fear control you all your life. We spend so much time trying to avoid feeling that again, that we forget the point in life. Living our life to the fullest.

Money back guarantee, I'll bet you suddenly forget about sh*t tests, or being jealous, when you have a bunch of worthy goals in your life. And like an upward spiral, things just get better and better. Sure as hell beats calculating your next move, afraid of how the girl would react.

Learn all you want about "DJ Techniques" or "Fast Seduction", but the only way you'll ever succeed is when you have a direction in your own life. Everything else will take care of itself.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Can't argue with that.

Fixing yourself is always the best course.

 

[Ace of Flames]

I only read the first paragraph of this post, but I already know what you're trying to say. And its true. Most everyone on here is either a keyboard jockey, a newbie, or just hangs out here for who knows what reasons. All in all, I'd say there are only about 15 members at the most, who post regularly, that you should listen to. Everyone else who knows what their talking about left long ago, or rarely show up.

 

[LeComteDeMonteCristo]

Most guys that find this site are overly nice to women. To act as a counter balance, this site is overly-misogynistic. Do not take everything so seriously.

 

[benjiprice]

Very true diu. A lot of ppl her move from being an AFC to being a reactive jerk. For the purposes of meeting women it's better than being an AFC but it's certainly not the target level.

It's the same reason people go nuts about learning great openers. It allows the to step up one level. But when you actually achieve an authentic confidence level, you really won't need any fancy openers.

Finally, and this is something the Tyler of RSD talks about: Don't take things personally. There seems to be the idea here that if you're not the center of a girls life, if she won't drop everything in her world for you, that she doesn't like you and doesn't respect you. Apart from the fact that you really don't want to date a girl that would do that, it's completely unrealistic to make demands like that of a girl, especially if you haven't known her for long. She has her own life, and just because she won't rework her *entire* life for you, doesn't mean she doesn't like or doesn't respect you.
If you go overboard an "calling her out" you're just showing insecurity because it means that your own life isn't full enough to buffer about her doing her own thing.

You do not need her validation or attention, because you validate yourself. You do not need her company, because you have plenty of other cool ppl to go out with. If you become all reactive with her you prove you don't have that, and in my opinion you also turn the relationship into something extremely serious, and kill all the fun.

 

[Obsidian]

Are you guys so insecure that you can't even let your girlfriend go to a party? Take it as a test. If she cheats on you, you wouldn't wanna be with her anyways! Cliche, I know. But hey, if she wants to cheat, she will.

quite right

 

[penkitten]

diu- stick around and help us school the new guys.
they need the guidance.
that is why some of us stick around.

 

[Effington]

Pretty good post, I remember one survey awhile back where the main demographic of these boards are teenagers with little to no success with women.

 

[Obsidian]

umm, well duh

 

[Last Man Standing]

Well kid, let me disagree with everyone here - you must first understand the nature of a thing to understand it - only then can one give proper perspective and wise counsel!

There are different standards for men and women because our intrinsic natures are different in certain regards. The "club" example is a poignant one -- when a woman goes to a club or party without her man, she will be pursued by men, this is outside of her control - this is natural and understood!! If a man goes alone, then he is the master of his fate and has the initiative and is in control! So it is a different mindset and situation based on gender, even though it is the same situation!

 

[TheHumanist]

Well kid, let me disagree with everyone here - you must first understand the nature of a thing to understand it - only then can one give proper perspective and wise counsel!

There are different standards for men and women because our intrinsic natures are different in certain regards. The "club" example is a poignant one -- when a woman goes to a club or party without her man, she will be pursued by men, this is outside of her control - this is natural and understood!! If a man goes alone, then he is the master of his fate and has the initiative and is in control! So it is a different mindset and situation based on gender, even though it is the same situation!

OK, but what does that mean in the end? Should a man does that mean that woman cannot be trusted to turn down the men persuing her? It is one thing to not take BS and expected respect from her and respecting yourself, it is another to restrict her just because you can't watch her. Are you saying because in the dynamics of the sex that the women will get hit on and the man won't make the OP's arguement on not expecting the girl to cheat and trust her null and void?

 

[Last Man Standing]

It has nothing to do with a woman "cheating" - she can "cheat" on you in a dungeon - it doesn't matter!!!

It is a matter of understanding of our proper places and limitations based on our existence!! The example above explains it simply!

 

[typical]

Okay LMS please expand your thoughts this is very interesting.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Okay LMS please expand your thoughts this is very interesting.

Can a man have the mannerisms and actions of a woman and not look odd, out of place? Can a woman have the mannerisms of a man and not look out of sync with her innate femininity?

Of course, we judge based on gender - a thousand women making war with a thousand men is just as odd and out of place!!

 

[xdreamz]

no, YOU are your own worst enemy.

 

[Telos]

Very true diu. A lot of ppl her move from being an AFC to being a reactive jerk. For the purposes of meeting women it's better than being an AFC but it's certainly not the target level.

It's the same reason people go nuts about learning great openers. It allows the to step up one level. But when you actually achieve an authentic confidence level, you really won't need any fancy openers.

Finally, and this is something the Tyler of RSD talks about: Don't take things personally. There seems to be the idea here that if you're not the center of a girls life, if she won't drop everything in her world for you, that she doesn't like you and doesn't respect you. Apart from the fact that you really don't want to date a girl that would do that, it's completely unrealistic to make demands like that of a girl, especially if you haven't known her for long. She has her own life, and just because she won't rework her *entire* life for you, doesn't mean she doesn't like or doesn't respect you.
If you go overboard an "calling her out" you're just showing insecurity because it means that your own life isn't full enough to buffer about her doing her own thing.

You do not need her validation or attention, because you validate yourself. You do not need her company, because you have plenty of other cool ppl to go out with. If you become all reactive with her you prove you don't have that, and in my opinion you also turn the relationship into something extremely serious, and kill all the fun.

Amen. Solid. Fvcking. Advice.