Jerk question: Bad or not?

[Dherios]

I think I need to make this question to you guys. Perhaps it is just some coincidence but anyway, I prefer to draw conclusions depending on what I see rather than what I like to believe.

ALL girls I have met in my life were attracted to jerks. Did they say they were? Of course not. But they always hooked up with them. Every kind of girl. The shy, the outgoing, the HBs, the uglies, popular/unpopular, rich/poor, givers/takers.

What the **** is going on?!

The way I see it, this forum is in favor of the golden medium between good guy and jerk=tough but gentleman, James Bond like etc. Why is it that I do not see girls next to such guys? Is it because there are no such men? Maybe so, but someone like that would not have to prove his qualities. He would be OK with himself. He would know he is the best he can be. But the girls seem to want some kind of VERY obvious manifestation of power to like someone. And if you actually give them one, without having to (most times you don't have to the way our society is), then what is your difference from the jerk? If you don't, they see you as AFC, so what is your difference from one? After all, isn't the result that really makes one an AFC/jerk/DJ?

So my questions are?
1) Is there truly a goldem medium between these two states? Does it work with women?
2) Is it worth being something else than the jerk? After all, my experiences have shown me that they always get what they want.
3) Are there girls that they really want something more than the jerk and are willing to go for him, knowing that this mya mean some kind of sacrifice on their part?
I know that you have to be the best you can for yourself first, but that is not what I'm asking. I'm asking from a perspective of what works with women. If your experience is different than mine, I'd like to hear about it.

 

[Caveman]

1) Yes. yes.
See, women are not atracted to jerks because of their jerkiness but because of their confidence and 'alphamale'attitude. You can have and display these two qualities without having to be a jerk. I don't usually say this, but do check out the DJ bible because there a lot of articles on this subject.

2) Yes.
You can be a MAN which is so much better than a jerk. What most people don't realize is that both nice guys AND jerks get women and the truth is: they both lose them again. Think about it.

3) I am not exactly sure what you mean by your last question but I'd like to tell you this:
Girls are not looking for a jerk, there is just some qualities of the jerk that attract her instictively. Now, a MAN has these qualities too and therefor attracts the girls in the same way. There are few good men so you might not have noticed how they have girls by their side too.

If you still doubt that men have more succes than jerks: by all means, go out and BE a jerk. Find out for yourself. Most guys that come here go from afc to being a jerk anyway. Maybe you need to experience 'the jerk' before you can become a man. Try it.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

women really like celbritys, you may be thinking well its because of the money and the fame etc. well thats not true, you do not see women going crazy over bill gates. Now tihnk about the type of celbritys that are most popular they are not jerks they are real men such as brad pitt and the reason women like them so much is because they have confidence and ambition and live exciting lives.

so like Dherios said, jerks have some of the qualities women want, so they like jerks, but a real man has many more of these qualities so you do not need to be a jerk (but dont be too much of a nice guy either)

hope ive been a help

 

[Dherios]

I understand the logic behind jerk vs man. I have read the Bible and I couldn't agree more with the posts. My problem is that I've never seen it happen. All I see is jerks. Every time I read this forum I think "Yeah, this is so right" and when I look back to reality, it's nothing but the opposite.

Caveman: Is there any benefit in being a man other than for yourself? Have you ever witnessed the man taking the girl form the jerk? I haven't, only in the movies. And even if he is better, you said something interesting. They both lose the girl. So why bother with either way or any other way trying to be a better person?
Last question is a little rhetorical I'm afraid. Something like "Has anyone REALLY found a woman that was worth it?"
As for your last comment, perhaps you are right. Actually, I feel on the verge of becoming one. I just hoped I wouldn't have to.

check_mate_kid_uk: If I am not mistaken, you point out that:
Jerk=Guts+Bad Manners
Man=Guts+Good Manners+a lot more
or something like that. And we all agree that it's guts that gets the girl. My concern was that women seem unable to realise if someone has guts unless it is demonstrated through bad manners. As long as guts remain "potential" and are not shown, they don't seem to work with women. If you or someone else could mention a case where there was a different outcome, it would be really helpful.

Thanks for your feedback.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

the way you can show these qualities with out being a jerk is by being untouchable, you dont take any crap from any one, stand up for yourself, and if you walk around with your head up high, really confident, not afraid of anything, begin really charming, well then you are showing these qualities yet you are not being a jerk!

hope iv been a help

 

[Caveman]

Originally posted by Dherios
Caveman: Is there any benefit in being a man other than for yourself? Have you ever witnessed the man taking the girl form the jerk? I haven't, only in the movies. .

Well, my guess would be that ANYthing you do, you do for yourself. Like i mentioned before, there are very few men out there so you may have never noticed. I haven't seen MEN taking women from jerks but I have seen MEN being more succesfull with women than jerks.

Originally posted by Dherios

And even if he is better, you said something interesting. They both lose the girl. So why bother with either way or any other way trying to be a better person?

Read my post again and you'll see I was talking about nice guys and jerks. Not men. I am not even saying men don't lose women, it is just forgotten sometimes that jerks not only get the girls, but they lose them too. Just like any afc can actually get a woman..
What you want to be is a better person for YOU! You want to have a positive attitude and you wanna be confident. This way you won't feel how life is being unfair to you because you understand life and you can recognize your mistakes and certain circumstances that keep you from succeeding.

Originally posted by Dherios

Last question is a little rhetorical I'm afraid. Something like "Has anyone REALLY found a woman that was worth it?"
As for your last comment, perhaps you are right. Actually, I feel on the verge of becoming one. I just hoped I wouldn't have to.

Many women out there are worth it but again, don't just change and improve to get girls. Improve yourself and stop having your world revolve around getting women. They are not the sole purpose of life. Once you understand this, you'll have women attracted to you naturally.