Ive screwed up with a HOT girl. Can I turn it around?Womens views especially welcome

[harbourway]

OK, I need some help. Here it is in short. I met a HOT woman recently. She ticks all the boxes for me. When I met her she had guys queuing to talk to her but she made a beeline for me. Chatted to her, made her laugh, did all the right things etc etc. Arranged a date, went well, did all the right things, arranged another. It went well at first, then seemed to go down hill. Her body language was a bit closed, but we arranged to meet again, but for various reasons it didnt happen. Shes done a little chasing since, has made the effort to contact me, after I ignored a couple of calls and texts, and we arranged another. Called her and left a message, 4 days later, she hasnt got back to me. I refuse to crack and bombard her with texts and calls, and chase her around like a love sick schoolboy,(been there done that, doesnt work) but I am prepared to make a call or send a text as long as it gets the result I want, the 3rd date. As I said, shes HOT, and I would imagine shes had guys running around after her for years (shes 30), sucking up to her, saying "yes miss, no miss". I need a killer call to spark her interest again, or a killer text, or a killer response in case she calls tomorrow and wants to meet. I have some ideas, but they all depend on her calling me. Has anyone been in a similar stuation, and managed to turn it around? Dont want to appear like a cold hearted bastard, but dont want to appear like a weak kneed wimp either. I have a couple of other "options", including a very attractive 22 year old girl at work, but Im no player, and although it would be fun, it wouldnt go anywhere. Ive screwed up somewhere along the line, I can even see where, I just want that one chance to put it right. Ive had a fair number of short term girlfriends, a fair number of one night stands and a couple of more serious relationships in the past, so dont lack experience. My problem is, although Im not phased at chatting up women, Im a bit laid back and easy going.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Asking a womans opinion on picking up other women is like drinking strychnine or passing around goddamn rattlesnakes.

IT MAKES NO SENSE AND IS DEFEATIST AT BEST.

Perhaps you would be better getting answers here:

http://www.insidemyheart.com/

 

[harbourway]

All advice welcome Karma.

 

[harbourway]

All advice welcome Karma. But I dont need to "pick up" this woman. I can "pick up" woman most places. Ive screwed up somewhere with her, even know where it happened, just need to get that 1 chance to impress again. Any ideas?

 

[Vulpine]

I met a HOT woman recently. She ticks all the boxes for me.

Oneitis? Check.

Chatted to her, made her laugh, did all the right things etc etc. Arranged a date, went well, did all the right things, arranged another.

Tried to all the right things to please a woman? Check.

It went well at first, then seemed to go down hill. Her body language was a bit closed, but we arranged to meet again, but for various reasons it didnt happen. Shes done a little chasing since, has made the effort to contact me, after I ignored a couple of calls and texts, and we arranged another. Called her and left a message, 4 days later, she hasnt got back to me. I refuse to crack and bombard her with texts and calls, and chase her around like a love sick schoolboy,(been there done that, doesnt work) but I am prepared to make a call or send a text as long as it gets the result I want, the 3rd date.

Worrying too much? Check.

As I said, shes HOT, and I would imagine shes had guys running around after her for years (shes 30), sucking up to her, saying "yes miss, no miss".

Oneitis? Check.

I need a killer call to spark her interest again, or a killer text, or a killer response in case she calls tomorrow and wants to meet. I have some ideas, but they all depend on her calling me. Has anyone been in a similar stuation, and managed to turn it around? Dont want to appear like a cold hearted bastard, but dont want to appear like a weak kneed wimp either.

Second guessing yourself? Check.
Thinking about it too much? Check.
Giving to much attention to a chick with low IL? Check.

Ive screwed up somewhere along the line, I can even see where, I just want that one chance to put it right.

Over analyzing? Check.

Welcome to the forum.

My problem is, although Im not phased at chatting up women, Im a bit laid back and easy going.

That's not a problem, that's the solution.

Indifference is the one chance you have to put it right.

You are the harbourway bus. This chick either wants a ride or doesn't. If she wants to ride, she has to buy a ticket. Noone rides for free. If she doesn't want to buy a ticket... she can beat feet. What are you going to do? Put the bus in park, climb down and chase after her begging her to ride, maybe offer free round-trip tickets to anywhere you travel, just to "give you a try"?

There will be other passengers, and even more passengers at other stations. And, of course, there will be hustlers and bums trying to get a free ride along the way.

My bus has a dress code, a height limit, a weight limit, and a baggage limit. When chicks don't want to ride, I don't care because I'm over here in the next town selling tickets.

Right now my bus is in the garage with flat tires... but people keep buying tickets. It's odd because I can't promise them anything, and I don't offer refunds. I don't care to make a profit, I just drive the bus to see the countryside.

You aren't going to get any "how to get her back" advice around here, buddy. Why? Because that mindset is what is fukked.

She is not a beautiful snowflake. She is not as special as you think. Look at all the beautiful snow on the ground. And you're worrying about this one flake?

:kick:

 

[NewMan]

nice post. Couldn't have said it better myself...

 

[Sinistar]

Ive screwed up somewhere along the line, I can even see where, I just want that one chance to put it right

...are these lyrics from a song?

Who's got a Red Pill

Quick Answer: Do the opposite of everything you are thinking right about now.

Hey, if you post on a woman's site would you copy the responses here for our enjoyment!

I can just see the advise: Hey 'harbourway' if you think she's your soulmate you need to wait for her. If she asks you to be her friend first, be the best friend she ever had. Be there for her through thick and thin. And after all the other guys have fuxed her in every way imaginable she will see you for who you really are and come running back to you because you waited. You're so lucky to have found your true love harbourway. We'll be praying for things to work out.

Yuuuck!

 

[Subtext]

hmm...there's plenty of great advice already, but i'll throw my 2pence anyway
YOU didn't do anything wrong.
sounds to me like she had some situation that put you lower on her priority list.
ex bf maybe or a family situation.
regardless, my advice would be leave it alone.
maybe some lonely night you'll get a booty call from her.
maybe not.
regardless, the most agreeable option right now seems to be just hanging back and playing your position.
what's your position, you ask?
catcher.

 

[jigga23]

ive been in your shoes before man. ive always plotted hmm if she calls im going to say this and that at this time to get a response. sh!t doesnt work like that. ive fvcked up with girls for whatever reason that had high IL at first then it dropped. i then sent them strategic text messages and plotted when to answer call back etc. THAT SH!T NEVER WORKS. they thought i was weird. Dude just sit back and chill man dont call her dont text her. youre doing what every other guy does to her. youre probably one of many. Dude ive pulled girls that plenty of guys were after. i did it by not giving them attention and not jocking them and not acting all anxious. you look like your desperate dude and she will totatlly not dig that. she calls you call her back she doesnt answer/call you back so what if she wants to talk shell call back.

This sums up your situation
"for all the fellas try to do what those ladies tell us get shot down cause your over zealous play hard to get females get jealous."

 

[harbourway]

Sinistar.

I posted the problem on a mainly female forum, and this is one response. I'll post some more another time.

Hi I'm early thirties. All I can add is you are probably over analysing the first relationship as you are keen for something to develop. All the others aren't worth persuing as like someone mentioned it could get messy. You sound as though you have plenty to offer a girl so just play it by ear and try not to think too much. Most women want someone they can depend on, is considerate, and makes them laugh. I have read your post again and I cant really see any problem. You sound like you're doing everything right, maybe just being a bit impatient?
Relax and enjoy the buzz at the begining, getting to know each other and make sure she doesn't get the impression you are a player (not saying you are) but I think at our age going out with someone who's a challenge or playing hard to get gets boring very quickly. Let people know you're seeing someone and you dont want to jeapodise it by flirting albeit innocently with other girls.
Also if she's talking about doing things months away I don't think you have anything to worry about. Take care

Is it any wonder they drive you nuts?

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

stuck in that situation hey? many of us has been in your situation, best thing you can do here is ganji her, no text, no phone call, no nothing, see what she does, if she doesnt get back in 3 month, you can be sure 2 move on.
So what shes hot, go to the centre of your town one afternoon and i gurantee you that u will meet at least 5 hot women, and since you are a DJ its not hard to get at least 3 numbers, and likely as not 1 will be interested.
Just do the maths.

 

[harbourway]

OK, something happened. I cracked and phoned her. She was full of apologies, she's been sorting out a mortgage and looking at houses, has other things on her mind. I said it was no big deal, she has her reasons. She said we have to meet soon, and phoned me a couple of days later, and we're meeting for Sunday lunch at a place just round the corner from me. The house is clean and tidy, the sheets are brand new, the CD collection has a couple of new additions, and my attitute is totally different. I know exactly what pushes her buttons, and shes going to get it. The games afoot, and its going to be fun, fun, fun.

Oh, and I'm seeing someone else tonight, she's invited me round to "celebrate" me buying a new car...but thats just sex.

 

[md3sign]

Good job seeing someone else and good luck with this next date. I think you're realizing the wrong mindset you have (sure she may be hot, but she's not the only hot babe in the world). Let us know how it goes.

Gotta ask though, have you gotten any from this girl yet? I'm quickly learning that the longer you postpone making your move, the harder it will be for you to get it. I read a quote from someone here the other day who said "if you take her pants off for her, she feels sexy. If she takes her pants off herself, she feels like a slvt".

If you haven't gotten any yet, I recommend you push for it this time. Be aggressive, blast through that LMR, and then the ball is back in your court. If she won't let you hit it after so many tries (and there's a VERY distinct difference between a girl saying "we shouldn't" and "NO"), next her.

Oh .. and don't ever ask women for advice on women.

 

[qweretyuiopas]

man i need a break from this site...

 

[harbourway]

Interesting developments. I went to the "friends" on Friday night to "celebrate" buying my new car, and we played a little card game. No money, just forfeits. Started off fairly innocently and quickly escalated, from her giving me a lap dance, to massage then to the point where I got her to go and dress in high heels, stockings and sexy panties. Try the game sometime, it works! Needless to say it all ended up in the bedroom, and she is RAMPANT. She was asking me about the first one I was on about, she'd heard about her from a mutual friend, and getting quite jealous. Anyway, this one is bisexual, and we've kind of agreed to get another girl involved at some stage, if you know what I mean. She was saying that theres a "pull" between us, and although I'm not her physical type (she likes tall skinny guys with long hair. I'm fairly short and stocky, with a shaved bald head. Think Vic out of The Shield but about 5'7"), she said that there was something incredibly sexy about me that she couldnt quite put her finger on. She has also been discussing me with her best friend, before all this happened. This one will run and run. Took the first one out on Sunday, and pushed all the buttons, and it worked! Went back to mine for "dessert", and you know the rest. Ive not called her, but have received a text from her, but to be honest, dont think it will go anywhere. Shame, but life goes on. Then, on Wednesday, I went for a drink after work, and the 22 year old was with me, and she got pissed off when I was flirting with another girl, and wanted to leave. I said after another drink, and we did, and she invited me back. You all know the rest. This is the sort of stuff I used to do years ago, which just came naturally, but as you get older you seem to forget all about it. You start to doubt your abilities, you let things like your age, weight gain, faded looks, hairloss bother you. Anyway, currently, I'm fighting them off with a sh*tty stick, the other girl I was flirting with on Wednesday winks at me and makes excuses to come and chat to me and flirt. And shes only 18! And theres another one who just started who, without even trying, Ive seemed to make her go all gooey eyed, and when I talk to her, she bats her eyelashes and strokes her hair. Im glad I took some time to read this forum and So Suave, its reawakened something in me that I thought I had lost forever. I'm 39 by the way. The last time I was this successful with women was about 10 years ago when I was a mature student, and went through about about 2-3 18-19 year old girls a week. Since then Ive plodded along hanging back, not making a first move, letting little things like my age niggle me, and as a result, have ended up with girls who I have been grateful to be with, rather than the other way round.

 

[azanon]

Very very nice analogy Vulpine.

I agree, it was outstanding. +1

 

[azanon]

Interesting developments. I went to the "friends" on Friday night to "celebrate" buying my new car, and we played a little card game. No money, just forfeits. Started off fairly innocently and quickly escalated, from her giving me a lap dance, to massage then to the point where I got her to go and dress in high heels, stockings and sexy panties. Try the game sometime, it works! Needless to say it all ended up in the bedroom, and she is RAMPANT. She was asking me about the first one I was on about, she'd heard about her from a mutual friend, and getting quite jealous. Anyway, this one is bisexual, and we've kind of agreed to get another girl involved at some stage, if you know what I mean. She was saying that theres a "pull" between us, and although I'm not her physical type (she likes tall skinny guys with long hair. I'm fairly short and stocky, with a shaved bald head. Think Vic out of The Shield but about 5'7"), she said that there was something incredibly sexy about me that she couldnt quite put her finger on. She has also been discussing me with her best friend, before all this happened. This one will run and run. Took the first one out on Sunday, and pushed all the buttons, and it worked! Went back to mine for "dessert", and you know the rest. Ive not called her, but have received a text from her, but to be honest, dont think it will go anywhere. Shame, but life goes on. Then, on Wednesday, I went for a drink after work, and the 22 year old was with me, and she got pissed off when I was flirting with another girl, and wanted to leave. I said after another drink, and we did, and she invited me back. You all know the rest. This is the sort of stuff I used to do years ago, which just came naturally, but as you get older you seem to forget all about it. You start to doubt your abilities, you let things like your age, weight gain, faded looks, hairloss bother you. Anyway, currently, I'm fighting them off with a sh*tty stick, the other girl I was flirting with on Wednesday winks at me and makes excuses to come and chat to me and flirt. And shes only 18! And theres another one who just started who, without even trying, Ive seemed to make her go all gooey eyed, and when I talk to her, she bats her eyelashes and strokes her hair. Im glad I took some time to read this forum and So Suave, its reawakened something in me that I thought I had lost forever. I'm 39 by the way. The last time I was this successful with women was about 10 years ago when I was a mature student, and went through about about 2-3 18-19 year old girls a week. Since then Ive plodded along hanging back, not making a first move, letting little things like my age niggle me, and as a result, have ended up with girls who I have been grateful to be with, rather than the other way round.

The paragraph says to Harbourway; LJBF.

 

[Latinoman]

All advice welcome Karma. But I dont need to "pick up" this woman. I can "pick up" woman most places. Ive screwed up somewhere with her, even know where it happened, just need to get that 1 chance to impress again. Any ideas?

And asking women for advice on this issue is not a good idea as you won't get a "rational" explanation from "irrational" creature when it comes to this kind of issues.

 

[Latinoman]

;;;

 

[harbourway]

And asking women for advice on this issue is not a good idea as you won't get a "rational" explanation from "irrational" creature when it comes to this kind of issues.

Yep I know, but its not really relevant now. Anyone know what LJBF means??