Next time you see her, you will grab you balls and ask the damn phone number.
I know.. you know. You will get scared. You will because you’re not in the right mood… Suddenly, thinking and believing you are the great catch will seem laughable… and you will do what you’ve always done : nothing.
No, you can no longer accept that kind of behavior.
Next time you see her, no matter what happens, you will grab your balls and do ask her out. There are no excuses except these two
1. You discover she has a bf,
2. She tells you to get the fukk out of her sight.
You have to accept that this will probably feel ackward. You have to accept that you may get a "no" as an answer, or an unconvincing yes (which means no).
But hell, you did it. The only downside is some colateral damage to your ego, but let’s face it, if she’s not interested, waiting to see what happens only means postponing the hurt.
By being clear right away (" what’s your phone number " = I’m interested) you come off as a MAN. Not a boy. A MAN. A man who can grab his balls.
And if the answer is no, you know you can always move on to other and better things : you are free again. Besides, the pain will disappear with time, and you know you can make it 30 seconds. This is nothing compared to the pride you will experience, because you had the guts to grab your balls and make a darn move. You don’t have to wonder about her feelings anymore : you are a free man.
Now let’s imagine she is interested.
Let me tell you something, shying away (or waiting to be in the right mood) will only decrease her interest level. It is your role to ask her out, not hers. Waiting means entering the dreaded zone where it feels ackward to ask her phone number because you both get mixed signals form each other. Yes, she moved on to other and better things. Worse off, you may even fall in the most putrid circle of Hell : the friend zone.
You’re probably asking youself if she is interested. Shut up, brain. Just shut up and grab your balls. Asking the phone number will clear things up. It will either bring you an immense feeling of pride and liberation (if she says no) or a potential relationship. Whatever happens, you win.
But one more thing… I know you. You are still reviewing all her signals… asking yourself if she likes you… YES YOU MORON : SHE LIKES YOU! LISTEN VERY WELL : SHE LIKES YOU. SHE WANTS YOU TO GRAB YOUR FUKKING BALLS AND MAKE A GODDAMMM MOVE.
STOP WONDERING AND GO FOR IT OR I WILL CHASE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND KICK YOUR REAR TILL YOU DIE.
THERE IS NO STRATEGY HERE, YOU PATHETIC CHUMP.
LIFE IS A DEMOLITION DERBY : YOU JUST GOTTA GRAB YOUR FUKKING BALLS.
THIS IS NO JOKE : IF YOU SHY AWAY, I WILL FIND YOU. I WILL GET MY REVENGE YOU FUKKING IDIOT.
THIS IS THE OLD " YOU " TALKING, I’M 70 YEARS OLDER AND I AM ON MY FUKKING DEATH BED. BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR GODDAMM SHYNESS, I LED A MISERABLE LIFE. I MISSED TONS OF OPPORTUNITIES BECAUSE OF YOU AND I'M GLAD YOUR FUTURE IS MY PRESENT REALITY. MY CANCER IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE PAIN OF REGRET. THIS IS WHAT HURTS THE MOST AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOU.
YES YOU GODDAMMMM FUKKING MOTHERFUKKA, SHE LIKES YOU. ISN’T THAT CLEAR ENOUGH YOU INCOMMENSURABLE HEAP OF ROAD APPLES?
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!
I rest my case.
P.S. Do it or I kill you.
brings a tear to my eye.