It's Hard to be a Man

[zekko]

This is not a complaint, but I can't help but notice this. I've been studying this seduction material for awhile now and a man is expected to be:

Strong, lean, muscular, handsome, courageous, hardworking, financially secure, goal oriented, limit testing, adventurous, sensible, powerful, dominant, alpha, a leader, indifferent, clever, funny, ****y, resourceful, decisive, unemotional, competitive, fun, friendly, playful, confident, calm, relaxed, resilient, socially adept, skilled, intelligent, reliable, stable, happy, positive, good in bed, unattached to outcome, know who he is, have a strong sense of reality, have options with other women, know how to fight when necessary, and be able to control the frame.

While women have to be:

Nothing at all, really. Pretty, that's about it.

It's pretty mind boggling, isn't it?

 

[Mike32ct]

Exactly. Well said. But they call us men picky or shallow LOL.

 

[tafakna]

I don't really agree.

I think women have issues of their own (I for one have zero envy of them).

And I think a major problem of forums is that they soon become US vs THEM which is not necessarily the most productive environment to make LTR work (although it works much better for aspiring DJ).

If a girl starts obsessing over anyone here, calling 3-4 times a day, texting all day long, 100% of people here would freak out (eventually)...

But when it's the other way around, women are manipulative, irresponsible, cold-hearted, flaky...

I'm enjoyng this forum very much, but I think there are clearly some missing elements and too much resentment. Resentment is IMHO not at all manly, and translates as 'this got to him, so he's not very emotionally strong'...

 

[Telemear]

I believe a big factor involved here is your attitude and focus. If you keep your focus on what a girl is after rather than what you are after that could perhaps explain why some guys find it harder meeting or having an LTR than perhaps they should.

But I would agree that there are many girls out there who want the exact perfect guy, without any faults, but they themselves are quite average and wouldnt warrant being with a guy of that calibre anyway.

 

[tafakna]

Successful LTR requires a different set of tools, and that's why nobody will ever see their grandparents playing games or engaging in power struggle.

It's very well known that men tend to fall much quicker, while women may take as long as 15-20 dates to start to feel bonded to someone. It's a established fact in Psychology that the longer the courtship, the stronger the long-term relationship.

Guess how many people here in love troubles will be successful by following, the 2 strikes she's out, NC and next her modus operandi?

On a more biological level you basically have to hang in there and wait for adrenalinde, norepinephrine and dopamine to make space to endorphins.

On a psychology level, you must court women balancing making they glad to see you and not making they feel trapped, for successful LTR.

Don't get me wrong DJ works very well to get laid and enjoy one's life, but LTR requires a complete different set of tools. And everyday we see message of people who really want to win someone over, using methods to get laid. They are bound to fail EVERYTIME.

That's why 'next her' is such a common reccomendation here.

Anyway, just my 2 cents...

 

[DJDanny]

I demand much more then just being pretty from my women.

 

[Energizer]

I demand much more then just being pretty from my women.

Same here, in fact I can be more lenient in the looks department, if the woman has a great personality, manners, isn't afraid to be feminine and is intelligent, I'll go for her. Hot women need not apply unless they have the above to boot.

 

[PigAdlemPimp]

Males have to be Perfect, but so do Females, it goes both ways.

 

[zekko]

And I think a major problem of forums is that they soon become US vs THEM which is not necessarily the most productive environment to make LTR work (although it works much better for aspiring DJ).

When I wrote my list of attributes that are expected of a man I wasn't really talking about trying to live up to them for women (except maybe ****y). I think they are all good ideals to shoot for just to be a better man, which is a worthy goal in and of itself, something you do for yourself and not just for women.

I still think the number of expectations placed on men is staggering compared to what is expected of women. They are not expected to lead, or have strong realities, or even approach. I agree I probably oversimplified their issues by saying they just had to be pretty, but that's the main attraction switch they have. What makes them a suitable LTR is a different set of characteristics.

There are a lot of girls who ATTRACT me, but they don't meet my standards to be a LTR. Those standards probably vary from person to person, but their attraction powers are mostly in their looks. What makes a man attractive is a much more complicated formula. I agree also I do not envy the female position, because if they aren't beautiful they're isn't much they can do to change it. It's probably also hard for them to keep their weight down with their size and higher percentage of body fat, especially as they age.

I also agree that there is too much resentment on these forums, and too much of an US vs. THEM attitude. The guys having problems along these lines mostly are probably not meeting or choosing the right women. There are good women out there, just as there are good men. But if your only goal is to go to a bar, pick up a girl and get an F close that same night, I'd say chances are you aren't bringing in very many quality women. The goal is part of the problem.

 

[Snow Plowman]

...

Come back to your thread when you have the option to call 8 different chicks to have sex with that night...PRETTY won't cut it.

The problem is so many guys come in this as CHODES and just want to validation of saying "I fuked a chick", so they are willing to take down any hot chick.

The irony is when a chick notices you have certain standards and a boundary in your mind is to never compromise those standards...She all of a sudden becomes VERY ATTRACTED. (Watch guys use that as a tactic now)

Thing is...

Would you want to meet a chick who act like women on the maury show? Even if she was your IDEAL woman physically? If your answer is yes then your problem is bigger than women.

PERSONALLY, I have high standards and expectations, to the point where the chick knows the deal from the START. The thing is I know every woman wants me and I know that I can't have sex with every girl...So why not take the BEST women for ME.

Community guys put too much "Value" on women when really it's more of enjoying the women who ACTUALLY meet YOUR standards. It's nothing better than interacting with a woman you truly enjoy and then have passionate and intense sex.

 

[zekko]

Come back to your thread when you have the option to call 8 different chicks to have sex with that night...PRETTY won't cut it.

I have a feeling what you are talking about is your own PERSONAL criteria and standards for what you want in a woman. I am talking about more UNIVERSAL standards of what makes a man and woman attractive. It's a fairly simple thing for a woman to be attractive (although it's more of a case of either you got it or you don't). Being an attractive man is a much more demanding task. I don't see how anyone could even begin to argue with that.

Community guys put too much "Value" on women when really it's more of enjoying the women who ACTUALLY meet YOUR standards.

I agree with the second half of what you said. But I think community guys tend to place very LITTLE value on women. I don't get the impression they really respect them, they seem to think they're just there for their amusement.

 

[PappyS]

Women only have to be pretty. But if they're born ugly there is nothing they can do about it. And once they lose their looks, there is nothing they can do about it.

 

[Perfect10]

I don't think being "pretty" for a girl is that easy. I mean if it was why would they have billion dollar buisnesses for beauty?

We can acctually be ourself as men. Gym should be fun for oneself, not to get chicks. Working to get a rich should be important for oneself, not to get laid.
Being alpha is in our nature. Some are more some less but it can be trained.

All those traits that you mentioned we SHOULD all HAVE by our own will but no one is perfect. That's what we should atleast all be reaching for, mabye not perfection but as close as possible we can.

See you can put on a t-shirt and jeans and go to a bar and easily get chicks.
Is it as easy for the other side of the population? Nope they have to use 5h on makeup and clothes and cream f*ck I don't know what all the use.
See if you, as a girl is ugly then your cards for life are dealt (most of the time) You're ugly and you're not becoming ****. You'll never have a perfect 10 man that has a big paycheck and a nice car, by your side.

 

[Warrior74]

Its hard to be a man? How much harder is it to be an chump? If being an AFC was easy it wouldn't be so many of em here. If life is gonna be hard regardless, it might as well be on your terms of being a real man.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

...

Come back to your thread when you have the option to call 8 different chicks to have sex with that night...PRETTY won't cut it.

The problem is so many guys come in this as CHODES and just want to validation of saying "I fuked a chick", so they are willing to take down any hot chick.

The irony is when a chick notices you have certain standards and a boundary in your mind is to never compromise those standards...She all of a sudden becomes VERY ATTRACTED. (Watch guys use that as a tactic now)

Thing is...

Would you want to meet a chick who act like women on the maury show? Even if she was your IDEAL woman physically? If your answer is yes then your problem is bigger than women.

PERSONALLY, I have high standards and expectations, to the point where the chick knows the deal from the START. The thing is I know every woman wants me and I know that I can't have sex with every girl...So why not take the BEST women for ME.

Community guys put too much "Value" on women when really it's more of enjoying the women who ACTUALLY meet YOUR standards. It's nothing better than interacting with a woman you truly enjoy and then have passionate and intense sex.

Holy crap, are you my missing identical twin my mother never told me about?

^---- This is true path to a good life guys.

 

[FutureSpartan]

Mother nature designed it to be harder. After all, we men are expendable. Wipe out 1/2 the male population and civilization would still thrive. Vice versa, we would be in big trouble. We need women to carry on the next generation, thats why we don't ask too much of them other than to look pretty, in a strict biological sense of course.

The bar is set even higher for us to stand out because we all know women go nuts for the most successful/powerful men.

No matter how much screening you do, keep in mind most guys don't think like that and really could care less, their biological imperative trumps any kind of rational thought. So for the most part, society will still prize all women and sh*t on most men (except the top dogs), for the simple reason that society doesn't need most men anyways.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

An AFC girl would also pull us away. Imagine a DJ girl, it´d be awesome.

 

[jocca]

Must say I personally wouldnt have it any other way

 

[WaterTiger]

Strong, lean, muscular, handsome, courageous, hardworking, financially secure, goal oriented, limit testing, adventurous, sensible, powerful, dominant, alpha, a leader, indifferent, clever, funny, ****y, resourceful, decisive, unemotional, competitive, fun, friendly, playful, confident, calm, relaxed, resilient, socially adept, skilled, intelligent, reliable, stable, happy, positive, good in bed, unattached to outcome, know who he is, have a strong sense of reality, have options with other women, know how to fight when necessary, and be able to control the frame.

While women have to be:

Nothing at all, really. Pretty, that's about it.

It's pretty mind boggling, isn't it?

BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE PRIZE!!!! You have to be wonderful! Do you think women would clamor for this guy???

Weak, chubby, soft. homely, cowardly, slacker, broke, no ambition, shy, retiring, retreats from conflict, gives up, worries constantly, witless, no humor, very emotional, unstable, depressed, sexually repressed, not too bright, not in control of his life or anything.

YOU wouldn't want to hang out with this guy. If you're going to say "I am the prize" then you actually have to be better than most other jokers out there. Nobody said being a DJ was easy!

 

[zekko]

BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE PRIZE!!!! You have to be wonderful!

Despite what the subject line says, the reason I actually wrote this was because I was surprised about how little society expects from the woman. That was supposed to be the main point of the post. I have no problem putting in the effort to be a man, I find it rewarding. That's why I started out with "This is not a complaint..."

I was watching an episode of "The Pickup Artist" and this nerd guy training to be a PUA was trying to get this girl to qualify herself. She was drunk and dancing in front of him. He said "Aside from your look, what do you have to offer me?". She indicated her cleavage and said "My girls". He said "No, no, aside from your looks". She just looked confused. Society had taught her all her life all she needed to do was show her boobs.

This is why guys are the prize. Look at everything we have to be and do. And we're up to it because we're men. AFCs look at dating and think the girl is on the pedestal just because she has the looks. But what else do they have to offer? I don't mean this as a rip on women because I never really thought of it this way until I started studying seduction. All this business about how the man has to set the frame and the woman follow - it shows the man is the prize even though he does the hunting of the woman. AFCs see that women are pursued and therefore conclude that they are they prize. But they're not seeing the whole picture.