This my first post on sosuave. I just made my account and this is my story.
Ever since about 3 years ago. I saw this amazingly beautiful girl, and I feel in love with her. Creepy? Yes, I agree. No doubt I had the ****tiestly self esteem humanly possible. I always thought " gosh, I want to be perfect, just so I can get a girl like her." I would always say " Next year, when I work out, be good looking, and amazing, I will get her." Needless to say, I never thought I was ready.
PART 1
A year ago, I finally had her in some of my classes, and I began talking to her, everyday. On MSN. I would always say hi, and talk about things with her etc etc, whatevs. Sometimes, I would get angry, after telling her how beautiful or great she is, and her not responding, I would just get angry and blow her off. Then after a while I'd come back and apologize. This cycle repeated for a long long time. Fast forward to June, she actually came back and talked to me, I fked **** up and crawled into the friendzone....again.
After then, I was fed up, so when I was talking to her, she told me how I was so different from everyone else she talked too. And how I taught her some valuable lessons about life. I forgot what she said that triggered my outrage, but something must have. I think the last thing I ever said to her was " I've given you my all, emotionally. So why the fvck should I stay, while you go find some fkn guy who doesn't even give a **** about you." And when she never responded, I added this, and i remember it well. "....I really dont give a fvck, looks like you don't either."
A mutual friend of mine told me she cried that night...and I think i did too. My words sound extremely selfish and cruel, and I would agree that they are. But my pain was simply too much for logic I guess.
PART 2.
Its been many months since we've talked, and maybe a week since I discovered this site. But today, I saw her, and she was just there shopping, and I was with a gang of friends. I felt...so unmanly...so fkn pathetic and sad.
And as I stared at the back of her head as she walked away, this wave of shame and regret passed me. Not because of how breath takingly beautiful she was, or how she actually cared for me, or how I was incompetent... NO...,well maybe a little
I'm sick of it all, of losing, of heart break( many times), of sadness and all that bloody shyt. I had enough. I had to change. So, I got home, and I finally created an account on this site, and I told myself, I will become great. Great with women, great with life, sucessful. I will make life my b*tch.
And thats my story... I think I still like this girl, but I dunno...It doesnt really matter. I plan to submerge myself in so much self improvement, hobbies, activities, sports, that I will be worked numb and raw, so I cannot have an idol moment to think about her.
Hi guys, My name is S.U.R.F., and today I join ur ranks.
Ever since about 3 years ago. I saw this amazingly beautiful girl, and I feel in love with her. Creepy? Yes, I agree. No doubt I had the ****tiestly self esteem humanly possible. I always thought " gosh, I want to be perfect, just so I can get a girl like her." I would always say " Next year, when I work out, be good looking, and amazing, I will get her." Needless to say, I never thought I was ready.
PART 1
A year ago, I finally had her in some of my classes, and I began talking to her, everyday. On MSN. I would always say hi, and talk about things with her etc etc, whatevs. Sometimes, I would get angry, after telling her how beautiful or great she is, and her not responding, I would just get angry and blow her off. Then after a while I'd come back and apologize. This cycle repeated for a long long time. Fast forward to June, she actually came back and talked to me, I fked **** up and crawled into the friendzone....again.
After then, I was fed up, so when I was talking to her, she told me how I was so different from everyone else she talked too. And how I taught her some valuable lessons about life. I forgot what she said that triggered my outrage, but something must have. I think the last thing I ever said to her was " I've given you my all, emotionally. So why the fvck should I stay, while you go find some fkn guy who doesn't even give a **** about you." And when she never responded, I added this, and i remember it well. "....I really dont give a fvck, looks like you don't either."
A mutual friend of mine told me she cried that night...and I think i did too. My words sound extremely selfish and cruel, and I would agree that they are. But my pain was simply too much for logic I guess.
PART 2.
Its been many months since we've talked, and maybe a week since I discovered this site. But today, I saw her, and she was just there shopping, and I was with a gang of friends. I felt...so unmanly...so fkn pathetic and sad.
And as I stared at the back of her head as she walked away, this wave of shame and regret passed me. Not because of how breath takingly beautiful she was, or how she actually cared for me, or how I was incompetent... NO...,well maybe a little
I'm sick of it all, of losing, of heart break( many times), of sadness and all that bloody shyt. I had enough. I had to change. So, I got home, and I finally created an account on this site, and I told myself, I will become great. Great with women, great with life, sucessful. I will make life my b*tch.
And thats my story... I think I still like this girl, but I dunno...It doesnt really matter. I plan to submerge myself in so much self improvement, hobbies, activities, sports, that I will be worked numb and raw, so I cannot have an idol moment to think about her.
Hi guys, My name is S.U.R.F., and today I join ur ranks.
