Pecker
Senior Don Juan
I talked to this girl online. It turned out she lives 5 minutes from my home town, so of course after trading pics (she's damn hot) and talking online, we trade phone numbers.
She plays games on the phone, kind of breaks my balls and I say "why do I want to talk to someone who insists on being insulting" and she says "you know you love it." My response is to hang up.
Two days later I called her, and mentioned that we should meet up and talk in person. She responded with an "I'll have to get back to you on that." So ever since I've been talking to her as practice online, not caring which way it goes.
Here is a conversation I just finished with her:
(blah blah blah, we talk about IQs and stuff...)
Her: Well I'm hot. At least I have one thing going for me.
Me: So'm I. AND smart.
Her: Psh, I'm hotter than you.
Me: Well you have better tits i'll give you that.
Her: You're such an *******.
Me: You love it.
Her: Actually it really turns me off...okay, see, you're really bad at this flirtation thing.
Me: you think i'm FLIRTING with you?
Me: god, i flirt wtih clean drug free nice girls
Me: girl-next-door girls
Me:
Her: the girl next door always has a secret
Me: yeah and you give em all away within 3 minutes
Her: rather be upfront with a person and know what you're dealing with before actually getting to know them
Her: saves you a lot of time
Me: no, your strategy is to see if someone will like you despite all your dark secrets, almost like you're hoping they don't.
Me: someone with self respect would expect others to like them as if it were a natural occurence
Her: thank you dr. freud. but, my "dark secrets" is just about every day of my life, and it's not something you can hide easliy.
Her: nor do i care
Me: mmk. i'm not picking you apart just making observations.
Me: i'm watching hair surgery
Her: pretty ****ing negative observations
Me: well
Me: ...
Me: you're free to make some about me
Me: see how much they bother me
Her: i'm really not in the mood to be a *****, so im going to
decline
Me: ok i was thinking how this conversation kinda got ugly
Me: so let's be nice
Her: you start
Me: ok. are you looking forward to your senior year of highschool>
Her: yes actually
Me: thats cool
Me: i'm lookin forward to sophomore college
Me: did i tell you about my living situation?
Her: yes
Me: yeh i like
Me: i just want to party again already
Me: i've been sitting here
Me: my party muscle has been atrophying
Her: lol
Me: there we go
Me: ok now you
Her: uh....so...what other muscles have been atrophying? heh
Me: none
Me: are you insinuating something?
Her: maybe...
Me: oh, i see.
Me: are we obsessed with the naughty thoughts?
Her: no
Me: damn
Her: why are you?
Me: hey that wasn't a nice thing by the way
Her: it wasn't mean.
Me: it actually implied genital inactivity, a semi-insult.
Her: it did not imply genital inactivity specifically
Her: you just assumed.
Me: no.
Her: wonder whats on your mind
Me: i infered correctly.
Me: i knew you'd respond that way though
Me: well played
Her: checkmate.
Me: not quite.
Her: oh really?
Me: really.
Her: menacing.
Me: yess.
Me: that's me.
Her: doubtful
Me: well doubt all you want
Me: hey why don't we just get some boxing gloves on and go at it?
Me: wouldn't that be more efficient?
Me: less brainwork
Her: right train of thought, wrong physical activity
Me: i see
Me: well i thought *******s turned you off
Her: not that im making sexual innuendo
Me: well what were you making?
Her: a cake
Me: uh huh.
Me: that was a big flub on your part
Her: *******s turn me off because i fell for one....hard.
Me: you broke character
Her: oh shush
Me: well now we're getting somewhere.
Me: LOL
Me: i don't think i'm a real *******, whatever that means. i'm just
not always nice.
Her: yeah, you really are no good to me talking.
Her: you should just be underneath me
Me: lol well you prevented that early on
Me: so who's to blame?
Her: did i?
Me: sure did
Her: how so?
Me: i'm not going to explain yourself to you. you always resent that.
Me: but you know you did, and that you'd have to swallow some pride to undo that
Her: i tend to be good at swallowing pride.
Her: i tend to have a lot of practice
Me: ok
Me: i haven't seen you do it
Her: well i dont know what pride id have to swallow
Me: maybe you're a little scared?
Her: or just confused
Me: well i got that a long time ago
Her: thanks.
Me: you should smoke pot and talk to me more often
Me: it's really fun
Her: oh i hate you
Me: LOL
Her: god do i hate you
Me: i've heard it before. i don't really think you hate me.
Me: girls who like me always say they hate me and that i'm mean
Her: girls that like you?
Me: yep
Her: hahahahaha
Me:
Me: its simple pattern recognition
Her: i tend to defy steriotypes.
Me: that's good. except my observations aren't stereotypes
Her: that hardly prooves that i'm going to follow the pattern
Me: i know, but put it this way. if i listened to everything you said and actualyl took it seriously, the world would deteriorate and i'd shoot myself in the head
Her: lol
Her: damn.....ive got nothing to say to that
Me: you're just pretty contradictory
Her: am i?
Me: but most girls are and don't know it. would you agree?
Her: yes
Me: so youre basically telling me not to listen to you
Me: ...without a grain of salt anyway
Her: pretty much
Her: but you still have to think im hot.
Me: mmmk thanks for the advice
Her: its in the rules
Me: have you read my rulebook
Me: i dont think so
Her: im sorry...but it states right here "you must think im hot"
Her: oh look. there. see?
Me: the rules for what?
Her: life
Me: i used to think you were pretty cute but i don't know. now you're just really difficult.
Me: i dont like having to struggle every time
Her: ive been really stressed
Me: so you would have been more agreeable at a different time in your life.
Her: most likely
Me: well that's interesting.
Me: but you're probably always stressed
Her: not really
Me: that's good. my first quarter of next year is gonna be all literature courses...fun fun...with no grades, simply credits. so i'll have no stress for awhile
Me: just partying.
Her: lol lucky
Me: Oh well, I'm gonna go walk dog.
(10 minutes goes by)
Her: I'm going to go to bed. You can call me if you want to talk
Me: number again?
Her: (digits)
Me: k. nothing stops you from calling me you know
Her: riiiight...with the phone number you didn't give me
Me: I gave it to you.
Her: lost it
Me: Well now....should I give you the house line or the cell....hmmmmm....
Her: oh jezus
Me: (gives cell number)
Her: Is that an invitation to call?
Me: It's permission
Her: I don't call unless you ask
Me: YOu dn't call if you simply want to?
Her: not people like you
Her: people i'm really close to, yes.
Her: and you don't want to call me, either. why do i want to call someone who doesn't want to call me?
Me: did i say i didn't want to call?
Her: Well you haven't.
Me: I was thinking TOMORROW sis
Her: oh...lol
I was on the verge of saying SO MANY afc things in this conversation, but with a little time and no nippies and sexy lips to distract me, I think I did quite well in regaining control of this conversation. Here's a practical question for you:
Do you think pausing and thinking about what my response will be (in person) would be an effective way to transmit my talent for talking online into real-life interactions. I know a guy who has long pauses before his responses, and it kind of instills a sense of suspense as to what he's going to say. He is clearly not stupid because what he says is always intelligent.
....and there you have it. sorry for the long post.
She plays games on the phone, kind of breaks my balls and I say "why do I want to talk to someone who insists on being insulting" and she says "you know you love it." My response is to hang up.
Two days later I called her, and mentioned that we should meet up and talk in person. She responded with an "I'll have to get back to you on that." So ever since I've been talking to her as practice online, not caring which way it goes.
Here is a conversation I just finished with her:
(blah blah blah, we talk about IQs and stuff...)
Her: Well I'm hot. At least I have one thing going for me.
Me: So'm I. AND smart.
Her: Psh, I'm hotter than you.
Me: Well you have better tits i'll give you that.
Her: You're such an *******.
Me: You love it.
Her: Actually it really turns me off...okay, see, you're really bad at this flirtation thing.
Me: you think i'm FLIRTING with you?
Me: god, i flirt wtih clean drug free nice girls
Me: girl-next-door girls
Me:
Her: the girl next door always has a secret
Me: yeah and you give em all away within 3 minutes
Her: rather be upfront with a person and know what you're dealing with before actually getting to know them
Her: saves you a lot of time
Me: no, your strategy is to see if someone will like you despite all your dark secrets, almost like you're hoping they don't.
Me: someone with self respect would expect others to like them as if it were a natural occurence
Her: thank you dr. freud. but, my "dark secrets" is just about every day of my life, and it's not something you can hide easliy.
Her: nor do i care
Me: mmk. i'm not picking you apart just making observations.
Me: i'm watching hair surgery
Her: pretty ****ing negative observations
Me: well
Me: ...
Me: you're free to make some about me
Me: see how much they bother me
Her: i'm really not in the mood to be a *****, so im going to
decline
Me: ok i was thinking how this conversation kinda got ugly
Me: so let's be nice
Her: you start
Me: ok. are you looking forward to your senior year of highschool>
Her: yes actually
Me: thats cool
Me: i'm lookin forward to sophomore college
Me: did i tell you about my living situation?
Her: yes
Me: yeh i like
Me: i just want to party again already
Me: i've been sitting here
Me: my party muscle has been atrophying
Her: lol
Me: there we go
Me: ok now you
Her: uh....so...what other muscles have been atrophying? heh
Me: none
Me: are you insinuating something?
Her: maybe...
Me: oh, i see.
Me: are we obsessed with the naughty thoughts?
Her: no
Me: damn
Her: why are you?
Me: hey that wasn't a nice thing by the way
Her: it wasn't mean.
Me: it actually implied genital inactivity, a semi-insult.
Her: it did not imply genital inactivity specifically
Her: you just assumed.
Me: no.
Her: wonder whats on your mind
Me: i infered correctly.
Me: i knew you'd respond that way though
Me: well played
Her: checkmate.
Me: not quite.
Her: oh really?
Me: really.
Her: menacing.
Me: yess.
Me: that's me.
Her: doubtful
Me: well doubt all you want
Me: hey why don't we just get some boxing gloves on and go at it?
Me: wouldn't that be more efficient?
Me: less brainwork
Her: right train of thought, wrong physical activity
Me: i see
Me: well i thought *******s turned you off
Her: not that im making sexual innuendo
Me: well what were you making?
Her: a cake
Me: uh huh.
Me: that was a big flub on your part
Her: *******s turn me off because i fell for one....hard.
Me: you broke character
Her: oh shush
Me: well now we're getting somewhere.
Me: LOL
Me: i don't think i'm a real *******, whatever that means. i'm just
not always nice.
Her: yeah, you really are no good to me talking.
Her: you should just be underneath me
Me: lol well you prevented that early on
Me: so who's to blame?
Her: did i?
Me: sure did
Her: how so?
Me: i'm not going to explain yourself to you. you always resent that.
Me: but you know you did, and that you'd have to swallow some pride to undo that
Her: i tend to be good at swallowing pride.
Her: i tend to have a lot of practice
Me: ok
Me: i haven't seen you do it
Her: well i dont know what pride id have to swallow
Me: maybe you're a little scared?
Her: or just confused
Me: well i got that a long time ago
Her: thanks.
Me: you should smoke pot and talk to me more often
Me: it's really fun
Her: oh i hate you
Me: LOL
Her: god do i hate you
Me: i've heard it before. i don't really think you hate me.
Me: girls who like me always say they hate me and that i'm mean
Her: girls that like you?
Me: yep
Her: hahahahaha
Me:
Me: its simple pattern recognition
Her: i tend to defy steriotypes.
Me: that's good. except my observations aren't stereotypes
Her: that hardly prooves that i'm going to follow the pattern
Me: i know, but put it this way. if i listened to everything you said and actualyl took it seriously, the world would deteriorate and i'd shoot myself in the head
Her: lol
Her: damn.....ive got nothing to say to that
Me: you're just pretty contradictory
Her: am i?
Me: but most girls are and don't know it. would you agree?
Her: yes
Me: so youre basically telling me not to listen to you
Me: ...without a grain of salt anyway
Her: pretty much
Her: but you still have to think im hot.
Me: mmmk thanks for the advice
Her: its in the rules
Me: have you read my rulebook
Me: i dont think so
Her: im sorry...but it states right here "you must think im hot"
Her: oh look. there. see?
Me: the rules for what?
Her: life
Me: i used to think you were pretty cute but i don't know. now you're just really difficult.
Me: i dont like having to struggle every time
Her: ive been really stressed
Me: so you would have been more agreeable at a different time in your life.
Her: most likely
Me: well that's interesting.
Me: but you're probably always stressed
Her: not really
Me: that's good. my first quarter of next year is gonna be all literature courses...fun fun...with no grades, simply credits. so i'll have no stress for awhile
Me: just partying.
Her: lol lucky
Me: Oh well, I'm gonna go walk dog.
(10 minutes goes by)
Her: I'm going to go to bed. You can call me if you want to talk
Me: number again?
Her: (digits)
Me: k. nothing stops you from calling me you know
Her: riiiight...with the phone number you didn't give me
Me: I gave it to you.
Her: lost it
Me: Well now....should I give you the house line or the cell....hmmmmm....
Her: oh jezus
Me: (gives cell number)
Her: Is that an invitation to call?
Me: It's permission
Her: I don't call unless you ask
Me: YOu dn't call if you simply want to?
Her: not people like you
Her: people i'm really close to, yes.
Her: and you don't want to call me, either. why do i want to call someone who doesn't want to call me?
Me: did i say i didn't want to call?
Her: Well you haven't.
Me: I was thinking TOMORROW sis
Her: oh...lol
I was on the verge of saying SO MANY afc things in this conversation, but with a little time and no nippies and sexy lips to distract me, I think I did quite well in regaining control of this conversation. Here's a practical question for you:
Do you think pausing and thinking about what my response will be (in person) would be an effective way to transmit my talent for talking online into real-life interactions. I know a guy who has long pauses before his responses, and it kind of instills a sense of suspense as to what he's going to say. He is clearly not stupid because what he says is always intelligent.
....and there you have it. sorry for the long post.