Is this too far gone

[letmebefranklin]

Hey what's up everyone, been reading through some of your posts and read a lot of great stuff. I'm in a bit of a sticky situation though and could use some advice. I met this girl online a few months ago, we live on opposite sides of the globe she lives in Australia, and I in the US (I don't have problems with meeting women in real life and I usually stay away from online relationships because they've never worked out for me in the past but I decided to give it a chance).

We started chatting quite a bit and things got really friendly, I ended up liking this girl quite a bit and thought she might be long term relationship material. So a couple of months go by and we get closer and she throws an I love you, I also told her that I love her as well, because genuinely I do as a person.

Anyways we get into the whole trust thing, and I told her that I don't really trust her in a nutshell and an argument broke out and I pushed her a little too hard and she broke up with me. She deleted me from her contacts and I thought maybe I should just walk away, but something about her made me want to pursue, I suppose I felt like we had built too much to throw it away over one argument. I contacted her again and we've been talking for a couple of weeks now, but she's saying she's not sure if she wants to be with me anymore but she still loves me. Now, I feel like she's got the ball and she's kind of manipulating me.

I'm wondering what you guys think, should I move on and take it as a lesson learned or do I stay and try to make it work, and what do you think my moves should be if any.

Thanks for your replies in advance I'm looking forward to learning a lot from you all.

 

[georgie24]

let it be DRILL that into your skull, already theres roots of negitivity here, take an ACTIVE break from this girl, time to start being INDEIFFERENT unless you enjoy downs more then ups.

 

[letmebefranklin]

Thanks for the advice, I will apply it.

 

[deuce42]

And be honest with yourself - you don't actually know anything about her. The internet is the modern day theatre of dreams. Behind the computer you are anything you want and so is she. You may find out she is very different in the real and she may find you very different.

Just consider this for a moment. You don't love her, you love her internet persona and identity. She doesn't love you, she loves the internet version of you. Until you actually meet anybody in real life, its all just an illusion, albeit a highly interactive illusion.

I know a few girls here in Australia, but they are real humans with whom I have interacted on a personal level with and can therefore decide if I like or not. You must know many chicks in the US that you have spent time with too. Now with communicating with a woman over a computer you have no reference point. If I were to find out in fact that the women I were internet dating were not really who they said they were via a computer, I may be very disappointed. Moreover, they may not have intentionally tried to deceive me via computer at all- its just that my take on who they are may be very different when I meet them to the descriptions or computer "chat" they gave me or I deduced without actually meeting.

One of the very problems with email or any typed form of communication is that there is a lot of miscommunication. I mean its common for people to be offended and arguments to occur, or rather its very common for people to take things the wrong way just via written words. This is because you have no other references such as facial expressions and non verbal cues to give people an understanding of what you mean or how you are saying something. I am not surprised therefore that arguments break out between you two where one person has misunderstood what the other person means.

I guess the bottom line is, - unless one of you is going to front up with spending the $2k or so on an airfare to the other side of the globe, and to make he huge emotional investment in travelling possibly further than a human can travel just to meet someone else in the flesh, this whole thing may need to be taken a little less seriously

Just my take man.

 

[deuce42]

Double post sorry.

 

[deuce42]

Forgive me - no idea why I am double and triple posting. Computer freaky stuff.

 

[Pair A Dice]

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but your 'relationship' sounds like something straight from the Internet chat rooms of 2001. You know those ones that start off "A/S/L" and progress to "Do you want to be my net gf/bf?"

Face it. You haven't met her yet, just what she wants to portray from the facade of a computer. She and you can be anybody they want to be.

Seems like she suckered you into saying those three fateful words and you got all caught up with it.

My advice for you is to LET IT GO. If online game is your thing, narrow your search down to, I don't know, this hemisphere and then this country, then your time zone and finally your town. Life will be A LOT easier.

 

[KarmaSutra]

The internet is the modern day theatre of dreams.

Brother, this is truly a brilliant little gem.

You keep posting like this you'll be added to my very, VERY, short list of posters I read regularly.

Well done.