First of all I apoligize for the wall of text
Hello I am new to this forum so ill explain how and why I came here.
This story begins last Christmas(2011), I weighed over 250 and came to the conclusion that I needed to change, I had never been with a girl before although two girls had come onto me but I rejected them as I didn't like them and they were only trying to go after me because they had low standards. I made a pact with my cousin and uncle about losing the weight as we were all overweight.
I made the resolution that I would quit eating like a pig and would lose weight with my ultimate goal being to lose about 50 pounds and turn the rest into muscles by exercising and after changing my lifestyle I would to search hard for a high quality girl, someone who I could marry even though I had never met someone like that who I would consider marriage material in my entire lifetime. I decided after finding a book on sale in the local drugstore that my weight losing strategy would be cutting carbs and sugar and by the beginning of march I had lost about 20-25 pounds. I have also since then begun to run 3 times a week (5k) and do about 75 pushups and 75 situps before I got to bed.
In early march I went to a convention, At the convention I was planning on building and developing relationships with people and I was primarily there for my leisure but had some secondary goals there. When I was there I met a girl, but she wasn't like any girl I have ever met or seen before. She had all the qualities I had wanted and desired in someone plus she had more. This girl was the first girl that I have ever met who met my very high standards of a marriage material and to be honest that is the type of relationship I am interested in, not the hit the bars every weekend and hit it and quit (no disrespect for those that like doing that). Anyway I ended up getting her facebook (tried for her Black berry messenger but she didn't have one, so I got her facebook as I didn't want to fail getting her number and with facebook it seemed like a idea in the moment) at the end of the conference. I won't go into full detail but I felt a new confidence with her I had never had before, I was normally a pretty beta guy but when I recognized the potential I went full alpha mode, its almost like I went into autopilot and was hitting all the balls out of the park that I normally would not have pushed myself to go for.
Anyway half a week later I was going away on spring break so I sent her something on facebook about getting together for coffee after I get back. I was able to get internet access occasionally while I was away and she said yes and was responding to my messages within the day i sent them generally seemed very interested in me. After I got back I went for coffee at starbucks (we are both 19 and live about 30-35 minutes away) and I just wanted to get to know her a little better before I committed to diner or something a little more serious. The coffee went great judging by her body language (she was in an "open" position, was playing with random things while talking to me and in general was positive and receptive imo). I asked her at the peak of the night if she was intrested in diner in a couple weeks as we both have busy schuduels and the weekend is the only time we can really meet up as we both have driver's license's but have to borrow cars from parents to get there (inb4 buy a car, I invest my money and am saving it up for school)
Anyway I got her to program her number directly in m phone that night even though she gave it to me over facebook (was trying to not seem desperate and from everything I heard that seemed like the right move to do.) Anyway I asked her if easter weekend would work, she said no (family stuff, and she was busy with her activities she involves her self in that weekend). I asked her than about the wek before and she said she busy that week too. She then suggested this upcoming weekend and I responded a day later as I was until then responding a couple hours afterwords and she was taking about 6-36 hours to reply to me via text message. Keep in mind the entire time I am trying to set up a dinnerdate. I told her that wouldn't work and suggested this thursday. She didn't reply for 4 days which she had never done before, so I sent a facebook message basicly asking her if she got my message, asking her to call me when she gets the chance(trying to advance the texting to phoning) she replyed within the hour but by facebook message saying she was extremely busy with school papers and upcoming exams and said she was "so sorry for not getting back to me". She then said she was not going to be able to get together until she gets back from europe (first time I heard about her going to europe, she never told me
I then responded asking her where she was going and when she gets back? she still hasn't responded to that (sent it on facebook). I then sent her a "happy easter" on sunday and she replied back within an hour and a half. Since I have met her I have been doing insane amounts of reading on relationships, dating etc and came across this website and have found it to be the best source regarding this subject.
Im trying to figure out wtf if going on. She seems interested in me and wants to get together and said it in person and acted genuinely when she answered but then ignored my messages but responds to other ones (I suspected the "playing hard to get" but that doesn't include. But when I sent her unrelated messages she responds within an hour and all the sudden she is "booked" and I don't even know when she is going to be free. I have already noticed myself subconsciously distancing myself prepping myself for a breakup(not even sure if it would be considered that if we only had coffee).
I plan on sending her one last message on facebook in one more week and never contacting her until she contacts me again. Do you guys think this is a good idea? I leaving for an internship in 2 weeks and she knows this, ill be back a couple times on the weekends but It won't be as easy for me to get together as it was before. I have tried by best to avoid the friend zone/ nice guy zone.
Any advice you can give me would be helpful this is the first girl I have ever gone out with but I don't think this is normal, she is the the perfect girl for me so im very hesitant to let go, she hasn't given me any signs other than the not responding bit.
edit : Forgot to mention she hasn't had any boyfriends before, is more shy than I was originally. And im in the middle of reading the DJ bible.
Hello I am new to this forum so ill explain how and why I came here.
This story begins last Christmas(2011), I weighed over 250 and came to the conclusion that I needed to change, I had never been with a girl before although two girls had come onto me but I rejected them as I didn't like them and they were only trying to go after me because they had low standards. I made a pact with my cousin and uncle about losing the weight as we were all overweight.
I made the resolution that I would quit eating like a pig and would lose weight with my ultimate goal being to lose about 50 pounds and turn the rest into muscles by exercising and after changing my lifestyle I would to search hard for a high quality girl, someone who I could marry even though I had never met someone like that who I would consider marriage material in my entire lifetime. I decided after finding a book on sale in the local drugstore that my weight losing strategy would be cutting carbs and sugar and by the beginning of march I had lost about 20-25 pounds. I have also since then begun to run 3 times a week (5k) and do about 75 pushups and 75 situps before I got to bed.
In early march I went to a convention, At the convention I was planning on building and developing relationships with people and I was primarily there for my leisure but had some secondary goals there. When I was there I met a girl, but she wasn't like any girl I have ever met or seen before. She had all the qualities I had wanted and desired in someone plus she had more. This girl was the first girl that I have ever met who met my very high standards of a marriage material and to be honest that is the type of relationship I am interested in, not the hit the bars every weekend and hit it and quit (no disrespect for those that like doing that). Anyway I ended up getting her facebook (tried for her Black berry messenger but she didn't have one, so I got her facebook as I didn't want to fail getting her number and with facebook it seemed like a idea in the moment) at the end of the conference. I won't go into full detail but I felt a new confidence with her I had never had before, I was normally a pretty beta guy but when I recognized the potential I went full alpha mode, its almost like I went into autopilot and was hitting all the balls out of the park that I normally would not have pushed myself to go for.
Anyway half a week later I was going away on spring break so I sent her something on facebook about getting together for coffee after I get back. I was able to get internet access occasionally while I was away and she said yes and was responding to my messages within the day i sent them generally seemed very interested in me. After I got back I went for coffee at starbucks (we are both 19 and live about 30-35 minutes away) and I just wanted to get to know her a little better before I committed to diner or something a little more serious. The coffee went great judging by her body language (she was in an "open" position, was playing with random things while talking to me and in general was positive and receptive imo). I asked her at the peak of the night if she was intrested in diner in a couple weeks as we both have busy schuduels and the weekend is the only time we can really meet up as we both have driver's license's but have to borrow cars from parents to get there (inb4 buy a car, I invest my money and am saving it up for school)
Anyway I got her to program her number directly in m phone that night even though she gave it to me over facebook (was trying to not seem desperate and from everything I heard that seemed like the right move to do.) Anyway I asked her if easter weekend would work, she said no (family stuff, and she was busy with her activities she involves her self in that weekend). I asked her than about the wek before and she said she busy that week too. She then suggested this upcoming weekend and I responded a day later as I was until then responding a couple hours afterwords and she was taking about 6-36 hours to reply to me via text message. Keep in mind the entire time I am trying to set up a dinnerdate. I told her that wouldn't work and suggested this thursday. She didn't reply for 4 days which she had never done before, so I sent a facebook message basicly asking her if she got my message, asking her to call me when she gets the chance(trying to advance the texting to phoning) she replyed within the hour but by facebook message saying she was extremely busy with school papers and upcoming exams and said she was "so sorry for not getting back to me". She then said she was not going to be able to get together until she gets back from europe (first time I heard about her going to europe, she never told me
I then responded asking her where she was going and when she gets back? she still hasn't responded to that (sent it on facebook). I then sent her a "happy easter" on sunday and she replied back within an hour and a half. Since I have met her I have been doing insane amounts of reading on relationships, dating etc and came across this website and have found it to be the best source regarding this subject.
Im trying to figure out wtf if going on. She seems interested in me and wants to get together and said it in person and acted genuinely when she answered but then ignored my messages but responds to other ones (I suspected the "playing hard to get" but that doesn't include. But when I sent her unrelated messages she responds within an hour and all the sudden she is "booked" and I don't even know when she is going to be free. I have already noticed myself subconsciously distancing myself prepping myself for a breakup(not even sure if it would be considered that if we only had coffee).
I plan on sending her one last message on facebook in one more week and never contacting her until she contacts me again. Do you guys think this is a good idea? I leaving for an internship in 2 weeks and she knows this, ill be back a couple times on the weekends but It won't be as easy for me to get together as it was before. I have tried by best to avoid the friend zone/ nice guy zone.
Any advice you can give me would be helpful this is the first girl I have ever gone out with but I don't think this is normal, she is the the perfect girl for me so im very hesitant to let go, she hasn't given me any signs other than the not responding bit.
edit : Forgot to mention she hasn't had any boyfriends before, is more shy than I was originally. And im in the middle of reading the DJ bible.