Is this an AW ?

[parrot84]

Is this an AW(Attention WHOORE)?

1. First time i met her, we went to the park and she rode me like a horse, even tried to touch my duck. Hold my hand from the start, kissing all the stuff. Very SEXUAL and AFECTONATE BODY LANGUAGE from the first DATE.
2. Has a account on almost every dating site in my country.
3. She uses very sexual language, and i always had the impression she is trying to manipulate me with that (for ex. the 4-th date and last, we slept on the grass in the park, and she told me something like : "Hey maybe next time we'll sleep in a BED?!" and looked at me expecting a reaction). She told me scarcely about boys she made "FALL FOR HER" and was very proud about the power she had over them.
4. She's into CRAZY STUFF, motorcycles, bungee-jumping, clubs, extreme-stuff.
5. She reads weird books (ex: a book about killers)
6. Has lot's of male friends.
7. She flaked me a lot although gave me the impression she likes me
8. For a month i never called, neither did she, but everytime i enter the IM she calls me: "How do you do?" "kisses" "hugs" shyt like that, and i always pyssy-block her and tell her "i'm busy, talk with you latter!".
9. She always says stuff about MOTHER, never about FATHER.
10. Thinks she knows very well how a man mind works and she braggs about it too .

I'm thinking cutting all contacts with the bytch cuz' i'm starting to think too much about her! PLS gimme' an advice!

 

[KontrollerX]

Cut all contact and save your life.

Don't fall any deeper down into the gutter with her.

If you've ever watched or read Lord of the Rings the Borderlines and Histrionics are exactly like the one ring.

At first it seems like they are wonderful and "your precious" but over time it becomes apparent that they have corrupted you as they are corrupted and the longer you keep them in your life the more destroyed you become but it is so gradual a process it can be unrecognizable to the victim like a frog slowly being boiled alive that doesn't realize it needs to jump out of the pot or it will die.

Watch Return of the King and see the progression from Smeagol to Gollum.

That ugliness and wretchedness of Gollum is exactly what you'll turn into the longer you keep her in your life.

 

[parrot84]

Cut all contact and save your life.

Don't fall any deeper down into the gutter with her.

If you've ever watched or read Lord of the Rings the Borderlines and Histrionics are exactly like the one ring.

At first it seems like they are wonderful and "your precious" but over time it becomes apparent that they have corrupted you as they are corrupted and the longer you keep them in your life the more destroyed you become but it is so gradual a process it can be unrecognizable to the victim like a frog slowly being boiled alive that doesn't realize it needs to jump out of the pot or it will die.

Watch Return of the King and see the progression from Smeagol to Gollum.

That ugliness and wretchedness of Gollum is exactly what you'll turn into the longer you keep her in your life.

You know what's fycking sad? A lot of guys who don't have a riddle about this kind of women are gonna' get it big time! And exactly : "THEY ARE FREAKING DIABOLIC CREATURES! (not sure though if they are doing it consciously, maybe they just have a fycked up brain)".

I remember talking with her at the phone 3 weeks ago, she was so theatrical that now when i look back i can't belive it! So the story goes like this :

I called her because she IM'd me on messenger, and seemed very unhappy cuz' i didn't call her, told me i was bad and mean to her D), and all the shyt like that.

She acted like she was very glad, told me i'm the one for her; all the lies in the world", the biatch was so good, her voice sounded so sweet, that even a SCEPTIC guy like me started to fall into the trap and actually believed her. Actually while i was talking to her, her other phone rang, and she said :"OOO don't worry, he's just another obsessed loser that call's me, and i say 'yeee, yeee' to him". So what about that?: Instead of telling the guy to leave her alone cuz' she had no interest, she used him for attention!

So she said, "When are we going to see each other again? You want tomorow ?", and i said (AFC mistake) "Hey, OK i'll call you tomorrow and maybe we'll hang out! Kiss you!" .

SO WHAT DO YOU THING HAPPENED THE NEXT DAY ? The biatch never answered the phone! I CALLED HER TWICE!

I hope this post about about my situation here will serve a lot of PRETTY COOL GUYS, with a good job, a degree, a good family, AND with NO FYCKED UP BRAIN, who want the best from this life, but in the meantime they RESPECT OTHER'S feelings and time !

RESPECT

 

[themann]

i think u know the answer to ur own question bro

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Listen to Kontroller X. She is a AW and a hor! Run away or ONLY use her for sex and no relationship.

 

[Solomon]

This Thread Is Hiliraous

 

[DJDamage]

Watch Return of the King and see the progression from Smeagol to Gollum.

That ugliness and wretchedness of Gollum is exactly what you'll turn into the longer you keep her in your life.

Lets not forget the part where Frodo tries to give the ring to Galadriel. Her true self comes out and she turns all crazy (by the way all women turn out like this after they accept your engagment ring and turn into your wife)

Now that's what I call Borderline Personality Disorder:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44XOKr8kips

 

[parrot84]

This Thread Is Hiliraous

Why is it so hilarious ?

 

[KontrollerX]

Well its hilarious I figure because Gollum is a damned goofy critter at times and may not of been the best analogy to use due to the movies making him come off as a great comedy figure moreso than emphasizing the character's darkness and holy sh!t I just nerded it up with a reply again rotflmfao!!!

 

[parrot84]

Hey, i don't know about the other RED FLAGS, but the fact that she tried to touch my diick from the first date pretty much says it all. What kind of classy women does that? Did you ever meet a women, that proved to be of HIGH VALUE, but at the beginning acted like a HORNY BASKET ?

 

[parrot84]

Fyck this! I'm like a fyickng pyssy addict! I wanna Fyck her so bad i can taste it! I'm sure i've got oneitis! Because of this bytch i've stopped chatting with 2 other females i was in good relation with, practically treated them like **** for no reason.. I've got another female's number now but somehow i keep thinking about this CRAZY girl(that's her description of her) and i can't stop it! I've put her on the ignore list for 4 days, and i couldn't help it and today i cut her from that list! I'm a pusstard!

I never called or I'M the bytch but every time i enter IM she keeps contacting me, trying to send me music, give me hugs, kisses! Every time i act busy and indifferent.
NOW I KNOW THIS IS BULLshyt WHAT SHE'S DOING, cuz if she really wanted me she would fix a date with me! But no mather how much i try to get the situation out of my mind this creepy thought comes in my brain : "WHAT IF SHE REALLY LIKES YOU?; WHAT IF SHE'S PLAYING HARD TO GET?" What the fyck is this? What the fyck should i do?

MEN LIKE ME ARE SO fyckiNG STUPID(EMOTIONALLY SPEAKING) . Hey Kon-X Are there any books out there about "Attention *****s and BPD's". I wanna defend my fycked up brain from these from now on !?

 

[KontrollerX]

Yes there are...

Buy the books:

Emotional Vampires

I Hate You Don't Leave Me

Stop Walking On Eggshells

Without Conscience

The People of the Lie

Yeah though dude don't worry your obsession around her is common but the only way to break that destructive bond is to stay far away from her.

She's less a person and more a drug for those unfortunate men who run into her.

And not a non harmful drug like marijuanna.

She's more like Cocaine or something else thats highly deadly over time.

They lavish you with praise and turn the focus completely on you like a spotlight or continuing my hilarious LOTR's analogy like the eye of Sauron!

You must hide from the eye and not give into it when it turns its gaze upon you!!!

Heh heh, so yeah the first part they do is the buildup of you as a god, then during all that they get you caught up in their drama and then suddenly they take it all away or in small doses at first they take it away to make you beg for them then they love you again and then they take it away and dissapear without a trace and like an addict you chase them which is kind of what they wanted all along as it gives them all the worship and validation and attention that they want that they are worth something as they cannot get that feeling of worth on their own which is why they set people up to worship them to begin with.

 

[parrot84]

Yes there are...

Yeah though dude don't worry your obsession around her is common but the only way to break that destructive bond is to stay far away from her.

She's less a person and more a drug for those unfortunate men who run into her.

And not a non harmful drug like marijuanna.

She's more like Cocaine or something else thats highly deadly over time.

They lavish you with praise and turn the focus completely on you like a spotlight or continuing my hilarious LOTR's analogy like the eye of Sauron!

You must hide from the eye and not give into it when it turns its gaze upon you!!!

Heh heh, so yeah the first part they do is the buildup of you as a god, then during all that they get you caught up in their drama and then suddenly they take it all away or in small doses at first they take it away to make you beg for them then they love you again and then they take it away and dissapear without a trace and like an addict you chase them which is kind of what they wanted all along as it gives them all the worship and validation and attention that they want that they are worth something as they cannot get that feeling of worth on their own which is why they set people up to worship them to begin with.

Is it 100% sure this woman is AW or has something wrong going on in her head? I mean from what i have told you, is it 90% true, 80%, 50% or what? What i'm asking you Kon-X is WHAT , from what i have told you, MADE you almost sure she has serious issues?

I'm completly ONEITIS here, cuz' i know the answer but my mind doesn't want to accept it!

 

[KontrollerX]

"Is it 100% sure this woman is AW or has something wrong going on in her head? I mean from what i have told you, is it 90% true, 80%, 50% or what? What i'm asking you Kon-X is WHAT , from what i have told you, MADE you almost sure she has serious issues?"

Well Cluster B Personality Disorders are called clusters because to have one of the disorders you must exhibit a cluster of symptoms that go along with the disorders so lets see what clusters of behavior your AW exhibited that says to me that she sadly most likely is one of them...

-Sex immediately to draw you in and get you hooked on her like a drug and also makes you pliable to more manipulation from her. This is the godlike stage where she builds you up to be her idol only to tear you down.

-Tons of guy friends/AFC orbiters that aren't really friends but guys she wants to fvck or is fvcking or will fvck in the future behind the back of whatever boyfriend she has at the time.

-You already sense that she is one on a deep gut level but you are hoping desperately that she isn't because the false connection you felt was so strong and you want it so badly to be real. I understand and it totally sucks. The connection indeed was false and all based on her mirroring you.

-Take a look at all the words you bolded in your opening post. Every last word applies to the condition in some way.

-I'm not 10%, 50% or 80% sure your girl is some form of Cluster B. I'm at least I'd say 1000% sure of it. Sorry but indeed she fits the profile.

"I'm completly ONEITIS here, cuz' i know the answer but my mind doesn't want to accept it!"

I know man, its awful and you may need professional help to process through it or at least the help of a condition specific message board to talk through the addiction. Try BPDfamily.org's forums. Often times but not always a person's addiction to a woman like a BPD who will ultimately distance herself from you can be found in our own childhood rejections by parents or peers or people we deemed important. Recovering from the addiction to Cluster B people often takes the form of fighting our own demons from the past.

Anyway if you go to BPDfamily.org and make a topic about your AW at the end of the topic you should ask the people there if they could give you a link to the poster TonyC's BPD story. You don't want to end up like that guy did during his BPD relationship. His story was an epic tale of heartbreak and destruction and I believe he almost committed suicide over it and this guy before the BPD was the ultimate DJ a successful club bouncer and total ladies man. He's doing good now and back to the man he was before the experience as much as possible but his story will definitely show you how far you can fall if you can't break contact for good with a Cluster B.

Anyway if you need any more input from here on whether your girl is one of these or not you could PM jophil and persistant exaction to reply here with their takes on your story.

Alternatively you could go to a professional of the personality disorders and lay out your story to them and see what they think if you absolutely positively 100% need the best possible answer to be able to next this girl for good.

Its worth the money dude if you really need an answer that you can take from a trained authority on the matter.

You have to go to a personality disorder specialist though as regular mental health professionals are not as up to speed on Cluster B Personality Disorders.

Its like the difference between a doctor that handles colds and flu and a doctor that is a heart surgeon.

Same profession but vastly different expertise/fields.

 

[Aenigma]

Hey Kontroller.

You've stated a few times that BPD women have a sort of negative transformative effect on the men that associate and stay with them. Could you go into detail as to what mechanism they do to achieve this and what the end product of their transformative effects are?

Basically, to use your analogy, I'm wondering HOW they turn a Smeagal (or a King of Men for that matter) into a pathetic wretch like Gollum- and WHAT Gollum actually is (what is it that these men actually turn into- what negative characteristics are imbued into their personality).

Also, to draw the nerdy analogy even further, is there any way that a BPD could be used ould be used for good (ie practicing not caring/protecting your heart, seeing through manipulations, threesomes, etcs) or are they like the ONE RING in that any who associate or try to use it will be ultimately corrupted despite their intentions?

 

[Luscious]

Not necessarily an attention *****, but a serial flirter. There is a difference.

Either diversify and get a few other ladies on your plate at the same time, or if you prefer one at a time, definitely give this one the boots.

 

[KontrollerX]

1. There's a few mechanisms the Cluster B women do to get you caught up in their web. One mechanism the histrionics and borderlines use is creating a story fantasy for you to get caught up in. They create for you an ultimate oneitis. Even if you never paid serious thought to the concept of "The One" before you will if you are involved with one of these people unaware of what they are. As during the godlike stage also referred to on BPD communities as "The White Knight" stage where you can do no wrong and are basically her idol to worship you begin to think about all those times you heard on television or read in print stories about finding your soulmate and people who claim to have done this and then you say to yourself wow I thought that was all pie in the sky bullsh!t before but my god what I've found in this perfect angel of a girl must be it!

Its usually the minute, the exact second you come to that realization and start to love the girl that it all falls apart and suddenly she is distant or sad one day or angry.

By this point you are absolutely addicted to her and believe you are deeply in love and have found that rare once in a lifetime soulmate/The One connection you've heard about so often from others.

This was not only accomplished via the mechanism of the story but also and probably more importantly the girl mirrored your personality back to you.

Of course you met the perfect person for you!

You are in love with yourself.

Unfortunately you think that love is tied to an incredibly sick girl but no its just a reflection of you.

It does not exist and never existed apart from you.

The girl is empty and basically wears a mask of assimilated personality she gets from mimicking others to cover up the emptiness inside of her. This is called the mask of sanity. All Cluster B put on this mask of normality to fool the public though it is most commonly a term associated with the sociopaths of the Cluster B family tree.

Anyway the end product of their transformative effects on their victims is you become obsessed with them and because they've done a wicked push pull game to you for so long you don't realize just how obsessed you've become while all the normal people you associate see the negative change in you.

If the Cluster B abandons you much like their parent abandoned them in some way when they were a child to bring about their condition your obsession leads you to chase them wondering what happened. You'll never get closure from them or any justice. You might get slapped with a restraining order to add insult to injury if you keep the chasing up.

Also even if the girl slaps you with a restraining order you can look forward to her conveniently putting herself in your view with her new lovers and friends to torment you with either by driving past your house with these people or by conveniently always seeming to show up at your regular hang out locations even more frequently than when you were together. I guess its really not so much to torment you as remember these people are selfish on an epic level where its all about them. So I'd say its not so much to hurt you as to get the attention of seeing your hurt reaction to them flaunting their new life and loves in front of your wounded face. They feed of the pain and attention you give them with it. Mostly the attention and validation that they are worth something. After all they must be worth something if they can bring a person pain which means that person must of loved them.

Anyway the sense of loss on the victim's part is absolutely epic unlike that of a normal relationship's end. The loss is great enough to bring about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, severe depression, suicide, murder ie all those crimes of passion you hear about in the news I would not be surprised if a great number of them involved borderlines, alcoholism and also taking on what is known in recovery communities as "picking up fleas" where you take on part of the disordered's horrible personality traits.

You might find yourself prone to lie now and you don't know why, you might always be angry over the injustice of the entire situation and well the anger goes with PTSD as well but I suppose it could simply be a "flea" you picked up from them so to speak as they are very angry inside but express it in passive aggressive ways, you might find yourself getting into dangerous situations not caring for your safety and you might start sleeping around with people wrecklessly also not concerned about your safety.

The PTSD comes with obsessive thinking where you have to keep going over the experience in your mind after its over to try and get a handle on it to process through it and finally move on and its very hard for many victims to do as these women break you down through yet another mechanism and that is a process of grooming which is very gradual where they get you used to being abused in some psychological way over time and eventually you come to think of this as normal. It helps them that a lot of times far too many guys are willing to give up boundaries for an attractive woman that exhibits interest in them so the grooming process of getting you used to being abused psychologically and taking a bad deal and treatment from her is I'm guessing quicker than a male Cluster B's grooming process for a female victim.

The best defense against falling prey to these women is having options, boundaries and a backbone. I'd say options was the most important factor but then I remember the story of Tony C the successful ladies man and night club bouncer from the BPDfamily.org forums and he was taken in and destroyed emotionally for a very long time by a BPD so really now I'd put equal importance on boundaries, backbone and options as being key to avoiding the Cluster B experience. Thats all good but awareness and education about the disorders is better than all of them but sadly the mainstream media is not interested for whatever reason in protecting anyone from these predators.

2. Cliff notes from up above...

-Obessiveness...the BPD's and HPD's are in love with love...you are in love with them well at least you think you are...so both obessions...but different reasons behind the obsession.

-Traits of the disordered are automatically acquired sometimes such as lying and extremely wreckless behavior often called "fleas you pick up" on support forums.

-PTSD...not saying the disordered have it but I think its related. I think they became cluster b's because the trauma they experienced as children whatever it was would've became PTSD if their minds were more developed and mature like an adults or even a teenager's. PTSD can be cured. Cluster B cannot. It can only be treated and somewhat alleviated in lucky patients. I think the disordered's minds become disordered as a solution to the PTSD problem so that they can remain functioning even if damaged human beings. I think their minds fvck up their emotions or shut them down or twist them as an extremely primitive coping mechanism in place of PTSD. Without the cluster b solution I think they'd probably go catatonic without the ability to cope with whatever trauma it was they experienced. Anyway getting back to what PTSD is in normal people. It basically makes you moody, angry, obsessive and you might wake up in the middle of the night gasping for breath thinking you are having a heart attack but its just a PTSD related panic attack.

To close out this section I just want to say I think the reason victims pick up fleas from the disordered is a need for getting control over what happened and hanging on to what the victim views was a great love of their life.

Its like you want what you thought you had with them back so much and you are so obsessed with the whole enterprise that you become them in a way for a little while as an effort to hold onto them and thus control everything.

Only when you begin to realize that the only thing you can control is yourself does the deep healing really start I think.

3. Well there's no way to "use" anyone and have it be morally good in the traditional sense of what society views to be moral behavior.

In truth you are probably trying to ask is there anyway you could selfishly use a BPD and come away unscathed by the endeavor?

If you are what society considers to be a good person and are generally very moral and loving and kind. Not necessarily in sugary doses either but someone that forms attachments strong friends and relationships no you won't come away unscathed.

Despite all their evil as jophil might put it there is a wounded child just beneath the surface that needs professional help desperately and no good person in the traditional sense of the word good could be around one of these people for very long without feeling a deep sorrow and affection for the wounded part of the child woman in front of you.

The most tragic thing about it is giving them love or being their friend will not help them or you at all. It just makes the condition worse.

They need help and so does anyone whose ever been involved with them for any great length of time.

Normal people need to stay far away from them.

Only sociopaths may apply to be a BPD's lover and come away unscathed.

To close with our great nerd analogy I give you Frodo's quote and it very much applies to the victims of these people...

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep that have taken hold."

 

[parrot84]

Not necessarily an attention *****, but a serial flirter. There is a difference.

What's the difference?

 

[jafyk]

This is sad and informative. It reminds me a lot about my ex. I wish I knew things I know now. At least I can give myself the credit of breaking if off with her and not staying in touch. The last time I saw or spoke to her was in June. It's like she could never be loved. I'd catch her talking to herself, and she'd do childish things like skipping to a gas station, walk for miles in the cold instead of arranging for a ride, start sleeping with me in my bed and then wake up crying and go to the living room and then come back and asked me what happened and I'd be at a loss for words and ask her what she means and then she'd get angry. At 28 she didn't have a drivers license and always said she'd get one and never followed through on it. The sad thing is that she's so good at open mic poetry that most people hold her in awe for that and her beauty. Initially I felt good to be dating a girl like this. She was very sexual and I'd say she was the best I had been with.

 

[parrot84]

This is sad and informative. It reminds me a lot about my ex. I wish I knew things I know now. At least I can give myself the credit of breaking if off with her and not staying in touch. The last time I saw or spoke to her was in June. It's like she could never be loved. I'd catch her talking to herself, and she'd do childish things like skipping to a gas station, walk for miles in the cold instead of arranging for a ride, start sleeping with me in my bed and then wake up crying and go to the living room and then come back and asked me what happened and I'd be at a loss for words and ask her what she means and then she'd get angry. At 28 she didn't have a drivers license and always said she'd get one and never followed through on it. The sad thing is that she's so good at open mic poetry that most people hold her in awe for that and her beauty. Initially I felt good to be dating a girl like this. She was very sexual and I'd say she was the best I had been with.

FYCK HER CRYING!

I'm so freaking horny about this girl right now i cut her of again from my ignore list
. When she'll contact me on the IM i'll fycking tell her i want her only for sex so : "EITHER YOU PROVIDE OR GET THE FYCK OUT OF HERE!"

Thanks for the help KON-X
:yawn: but my genes are thougher than my brain! I'll keep you all posted!
:rockon: hahahahaha; I'm so fuccking DUMB!