I'll try to be to the point even though there are many details. I've been sleeping with a 20 year old.
The first time i met her was easy, it was at a party, she subtly flirted with me at first then came home with me and played a little coy but had sex with me. She told me I seemed like the type of person who is used to getting what they want. I was mildly aggressive, picking her up and carrying her from the living room to the bedroom and I layed the charm on thick all night. I came back with the right answers to most of the important questions, i.e. she says "i don't usually hook up with guys i just met" so I ask "then why are you here and why are you naked" in a calm manner and this works like a charm. She spends the night and I drive her home the next day. I get her number.
Second time i see her is the next week at a bar, i'm already flirting with different girls. I see her friend from the party last week who immediately goes and tells her that I am at the bar. I know shes been thinking about me. I say lets go back to my place, and she says wants to go back to her place. I say fine and we start walking to my place.
On the way there she tells me that she is not having sex with me, that she doesnt like me, etc...
We get to my place and go in and she seems to enjoy that I lightly hold her down on the couch and kiss her. She seems to enjoy the fact that I don't listen to what she wants, but what i want. and this idea is congruent with what is taught on this board.
finally, I agree on my own terms to go back to her place, we get back and go to the bedroom and she decides shes tired after we make out a little. I went and sat in a chair and drank some water for like 15-20 minutes. I read this tip on the boards somewhere, and damn if it isn't money. She kept telling me to come back to bed and I told her "you know where i am, come to me".
she eventually got up and came to me and was all over me, we had sex in the bed, in the shower, everywhere and she was all about it. She tells me that she felt i would never call her again and she didnt like that (again, experience and this board tells me otherwise, that she really enjoys the uncertainty).
When i went to leave she was pissed and called me an *******.
Flash forward two weeks, I call her and she sounds nervously excited to talk to me. She says she'll call me back later that night. She does. We go on a walk, and during the walk are sitting on a hilltop and makeout and she acts like she wants to have sex so I go for it. Well she says she wants to keep walking at this point, and mentions something along the lines of "you call me just to have sex, i wasn't even going to call you back" . I ask her to talk to me and i am a mildly sexually agressive.
From that point on in the conversation she says she just doesnt want to have sex. i told her that this is fine, but I think shes doing it as some sort of power game.
She still came back with me to my place after this, affectionate as ever with me. She said she could only stay for a few minutes. Again, I made some moves on her and she denied me. So I gently held her in place and asked her once again to talk to me.
She could have gotten out of there if she wanted to, I have no intentions of forcing her to do anything she didnt want to. She struggled with me a little, but even when i let her clear go she did not leave, and she smiled once in a a while. So I still believe she was enjoying the chase. I told her that "i respect you but I also desire you". She told me that I can't always have what i want and that there are many things i don't know about her . I gently wrestled with her to keep her there and tried to talk with her but she eventually left.
She left the door slowly, saying she had fun and blowing me a kiss.
I feel like i maintained my masculinity by being agressive and I also feel that she enjoyed my determination despite the fact that she left. She also told me during the night that I was the calmest person she had ever met. This is because I always make eye contact.
I am repeatedly amazed by the paradox of behaving towards women. What usually works is the exact opposite of what seems correct.
Now that you have the background, I have some questions. And each possibility begs another question. I can't help but feel that she went out with me today with the express purpose of NOT having sex with me. She even said at one point that I can't just hang out.
Is this a power play.. if so did I handle it correctly? Is she toying with me in order to force me to commit?
or is she just on her period? no need for further explanation.
would i have been better of pretending i didnt want sex?
i already get the feeling that asking a woman "to talk to you about why she doesnt want to have sex" is a bad idea, any disagreement?
is this testing just a sign that I'm doing things properly... meaning the better my work, the more she tests if im the real deal?
I'd appreciate replies to any or all of these questions.
The first time i met her was easy, it was at a party, she subtly flirted with me at first then came home with me and played a little coy but had sex with me. She told me I seemed like the type of person who is used to getting what they want. I was mildly aggressive, picking her up and carrying her from the living room to the bedroom and I layed the charm on thick all night. I came back with the right answers to most of the important questions, i.e. she says "i don't usually hook up with guys i just met" so I ask "then why are you here and why are you naked" in a calm manner and this works like a charm. She spends the night and I drive her home the next day. I get her number.
Second time i see her is the next week at a bar, i'm already flirting with different girls. I see her friend from the party last week who immediately goes and tells her that I am at the bar. I know shes been thinking about me. I say lets go back to my place, and she says wants to go back to her place. I say fine and we start walking to my place.
On the way there she tells me that she is not having sex with me, that she doesnt like me, etc...
We get to my place and go in and she seems to enjoy that I lightly hold her down on the couch and kiss her. She seems to enjoy the fact that I don't listen to what she wants, but what i want. and this idea is congruent with what is taught on this board.
finally, I agree on my own terms to go back to her place, we get back and go to the bedroom and she decides shes tired after we make out a little. I went and sat in a chair and drank some water for like 15-20 minutes. I read this tip on the boards somewhere, and damn if it isn't money. She kept telling me to come back to bed and I told her "you know where i am, come to me".
she eventually got up and came to me and was all over me, we had sex in the bed, in the shower, everywhere and she was all about it. She tells me that she felt i would never call her again and she didnt like that (again, experience and this board tells me otherwise, that she really enjoys the uncertainty).
When i went to leave she was pissed and called me an *******.
Flash forward two weeks, I call her and she sounds nervously excited to talk to me. She says she'll call me back later that night. She does. We go on a walk, and during the walk are sitting on a hilltop and makeout and she acts like she wants to have sex so I go for it. Well she says she wants to keep walking at this point, and mentions something along the lines of "you call me just to have sex, i wasn't even going to call you back" . I ask her to talk to me and i am a mildly sexually agressive.
From that point on in the conversation she says she just doesnt want to have sex. i told her that this is fine, but I think shes doing it as some sort of power game.
She still came back with me to my place after this, affectionate as ever with me. She said she could only stay for a few minutes. Again, I made some moves on her and she denied me. So I gently held her in place and asked her once again to talk to me.
She could have gotten out of there if she wanted to, I have no intentions of forcing her to do anything she didnt want to. She struggled with me a little, but even when i let her clear go she did not leave, and she smiled once in a a while. So I still believe she was enjoying the chase. I told her that "i respect you but I also desire you". She told me that I can't always have what i want and that there are many things i don't know about her . I gently wrestled with her to keep her there and tried to talk with her but she eventually left.
She left the door slowly, saying she had fun and blowing me a kiss.
I feel like i maintained my masculinity by being agressive and I also feel that she enjoyed my determination despite the fact that she left. She also told me during the night that I was the calmest person she had ever met. This is because I always make eye contact.
I am repeatedly amazed by the paradox of behaving towards women. What usually works is the exact opposite of what seems correct.
Now that you have the background, I have some questions. And each possibility begs another question. I can't help but feel that she went out with me today with the express purpose of NOT having sex with me. She even said at one point that I can't just hang out.
Is this a power play.. if so did I handle it correctly? Is she toying with me in order to force me to commit?
or is she just on her period? no need for further explanation.
would i have been better of pretending i didnt want sex?
i already get the feeling that asking a woman "to talk to you about why she doesnt want to have sex" is a bad idea, any disagreement?
is this testing just a sign that I'm doing things properly... meaning the better my work, the more she tests if im the real deal?
I'd appreciate replies to any or all of these questions.
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