Is this a potential BPD chick??

[Zarky]

So I've been emailing back and forth with a chick from POF. 11 years younger than myself and (from her pics) a solid 8 face, 7 body (possibly 8 body, can't tell). If she's 8 face, 8 body then she's a true HB8, which is quite rare online.

Unfortunately she's also an "actress/waitress." LOL, there's a reason I never date slashies. Here's our conversation so far:

--------------------------------------------
ME: [Standard cut and paste comment saying she looks "interesting."]

HER: Pray tell, what do you mean by an "interesting" look? That can mean any number of things...so....thank you? Haha

ME: you know, interesting as in unique. So you didn't find my profile too forward?

HER: It was forward, but I hadn't read read one like that so I responded too your advance. Haha. I like a man who knows what hew wants, cuz I know what I want. I like that you know for totals that you're sexy, cuz confidence is everything...especially in bed. Haha. You bordered on ****y which, had you achieved it entirely, would have been unattractive. ****iness for me is where high confidence commingle with poor self esteem and being rude. Thus my opinion of it.

HER (a day later): Id like to chat more than this allows...number exchange?

ME: Sure, why not XXX-XXX-XXXX

HER: Mine is XXX-XXX-XXXX.... We'll see who texts who first...it'll probably be me though. Haha.

(the next day)

HER (late at night): Hi Zarky, sorry this is coming so late, how are you? this is XXXXX from POF.

ME (about 12 hours later): Hey XXXXX, good to hear from you, how've you been

HER: Great, on my way to rehearsal, loving life! You?

ME: Stuck in LA traffic, not loving life

HER: Aww I used to live in LA, so I know how that is. So wanna meet up sometime? You seem like me: you know pretty fast if you want to hang out with someone or not.

(An hour later)

HER: Let me know when you can. Communication is a big deal to me, and I'm telling you now so that you know to be responsive whenever possible. Hope I'm not too straight forward for you.

(Fifteen minutes later)

HER: and I mean nothing rude by it

--------------------------------------------

I haven't yet responded. Could this be one of the fabled BPD girls everyone here speaks of?? Good-looking wannabe actress/waitress slashie.. Ten years younger.. Being controlling after only a half-dozen texts.

I want to experience BPD, is this it????

Normally I'd tell her to f*ck off after that last text but I might be in the mood for some crazy.

 

[( . )( . )]

This is a made up story.

 

[Uncharted]

Every chick is potentially BPD. I would meet up see if you can f-close the first night. What's the harm there. Worst case scenario you can just stop answering her texts/calls/emails. Just don't bring her back to your place so she doesn't know where you live.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Zarky, don't ever think you want to experience BPD. A BPD is a vampire who sucks the very soul out of you. She blackens your entire life and makes you question what reality really is.

All girls exhibit some BPD tendancies, but a full-bore is a monster with teeth. This girl may or may not be. There is far too little information so far.

However, she is already trying to train you with that "communication" comment.

I would have responded to that with "I tend to be responsive to those whom I perceive to be an adjuct to my life, those who earn my respect. We'll see if that's you." with a wink at the end, even though I'm not a fan of emoticons.

 

[( . )( . )]

Zarky, don't ever think you want to experience BPD. A BPD is a vampire who sucks the very soul out of you. She blackens your entire life and makes you question what reality really is.

Oh c'mon Atom, your not buying this surely?

This is just another subtle NAWALT attempt, think about it.

Zarky's online persona is a "man" who only does online dating and has done it many many times yeah? Yet any real life man using online dating and only online dating for years would be well accustomed with BPD behaviour.

I want to experience BPD, is this it????

It's a story.

 

[Zarky]

I want me some BPD!! Just so I can understand half of the threads here. I have a feeling that I have an automatic aversion to chicks with it (or they to me) so I'm going against my natural inclination and setting something up with this one. I mean I've run into women who were on the clingy side but never full-bore ape-sh*t BPD which everyone says is so deliriously addictive but harmful.

My initial response was to tell this chick off for even attempting to try to tell me what to do, especially after 5 minutes of texting. I mean really, "be more responsive?" Give me a break. That's like when women say that men should be more "attentive" like they're waiters or something. Pisses me off to no end. But I just ignored it, asked her what part of town she was in and when she's free. So we'll see.

A BPD is a vampire who sucks the very soul out of you. She blackens your entire life and makes you question what reality really is.

See I totally want to experience that. I think everyone here is blowing it out of proportion. But then again, so many guys talk of it so I want to see it for my own eyes. Do BPD chicks put out on the first date? Or do they dole out sex like it's some sort of rare pixie dust? Because if she tries that it's going to be over after one date, if that.

I think you need a capacity to feel really, really deeply to let a chick get into your brain that much. Not sure I'm capable of that. I'm pretty naturally aloof.

 

[rastapasta]

Bite your tongue. I never had experienced a BPD as I don't really date much. Then a month ago I met a girl from online (she messaged an old profile I hadn't touched in years) and I was drunk one night so I replied. We only went out a month and I have to say it has been one of the worst months of my life.

Everyone here is telling you to RUN from them as fast as you can for a reason. The only positive of the whole thing is now I won't be fooled again. Don't think your aloofness is any protection. If you have any vulnerability, these sick people will find it and try to exploit it through master lies and manipulation until they have you in their grips. They'll also feed your ego like crazy before they show you their true colors. That is one of the reasons they are addicting and/or dangerous.

Count your blessings!

 

[JohnChops]

Zarky, you're an idiot if you think you want to experience a BPD girl. Fvck man, I've had two that made my outlook gloomy for years and just now I'm finally putting some faith back into women, for the most part.

But, I'm assuming you have 3 brain cells, go for it and see what happens; It should be a fun time for you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I was thinking it was a true story, but the girl was a hooker.

 

[Zarky]

All right so we've made plans for tomorrow. I asked her if there are any "cute places" near her that are available to meet up. She suggested three:

--------------------

HER: [Bar], [Restaurant], and some others. Ooh! [Really expensive restaurant]!!

ME: Yea, [Really expensive restaurant] looks good, but it might be nice to keep it simple at [Bar].

HER: Why's that?

ME: Why's what

HER: Why don't you want to do [Really expensive restaurant]? Just curious. I've never been there actually. Always looked cool and chic to me.

ME: Seems a bit much for a casual date don't you think

HER: I'm a Leo honey, so nothing's too much for me. But I want you to be comfortable, so [Bar] it is. Will you be picking me up?

ME: Works for me. When will you be ready?

--------------------

So we set something up for 8:30 because she has no car and it takes her a long-ass time to get from "rehearsal" back to her place I guess. LOL no car in SoCal, I don't know if she takes the bus or what.

--------------------

HER: I am without a car (unfortunate circumstance) so it'll take me about an hour and a half to get home. That work?

ME: Can't wait to hear that story

HER: It's a doozy.

--------------------

I think I'm smelling BPD on this chick. Has no car due to a "doozy" of a story? I'm smelling the drama already.

We only went out a month and I have to say it has been one of the worst months of my life.

What happened?

 

[Larry Lurex]

I think Rastapasta was made to question his own esteem, values, and outlook. There was a moment where he was made to think that she was the one that is right, and nothing he did was ever good enough. The power struggle, as you will see, is an emasculating ordeal.

If she is really BPD, I hope the sex is going to be worth it.

Good luck. It will test your cavemanhood, as it takes a special sort of man to be able to contain the BPD she-beasts.


BPDs are easy to spot:

• chances are, they are past the average marriage age, yet single and VERY HOT
• Their Facebook rarely talks about anything but themselves with tons of self portraits
• They talk about their shortcomings early on - as they know you are already drawn to their physical looks
• They talk about their past, often from broken families
• They tell you of their extreme adoration for you, early on in the relationship

Once you've had sex (sex is wild, but has a push-you-away, mechanical feel to it), pillow talks will involve her:

• laying down her expectations
• mentioning her exes and how well she was taken care of
• talks of her other romantic options

pretty much things that is quite likely to hurt you. Then you go into a phase to validate yourself to meet her unmeetable expectations. You want to rescue her, the damsel in distress. You will want to please her, despite her treating you like absolute ****.

By then, it would be too late. You're already sucked in. Even if you initiate the break up, she'll be in your head for an indefinite time to come.

The toxin WILL ruin your consequent relationships. You will project her behavior.

 

[fuko2007]

dude number one...you wont know she is bpd untill its to late and she has sucked your soul out through your ****. trust me i know. and number two the first time yall ever texted she basically said she was a code 5 clinger. and as for the car deal she could have wrecked it and comes from a poor family or etc etc. that has tp be the most crazy thing ive heard on here. someone wants to ecperience a bpd chick. ill tell you what go buy a gun one bullet and put the loaded gun to your head and pull the trigger. thats about as close to experienceing a bpd woman as you want to come.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Firstly, there is still absolutely no evidence yet that she is BPD. Secondly, I hope she is, because clearly Zarky needs to learn this lesson. I don't wish ill on him but he's at the spot where he needs to find out.

 

[Atom Smasher]

BPDs are easy to spot:

• chances are, they are past the average marriage age, yet single and VERY HOT
• Their Facebook rarely talks about anything but themselves with tons of self portraits
  [*]They talk about their shortcomings early on - as they know you are already drawn to their physical looks
• They talk about their past, often from broken families
• They tell you of their extreme adoration for you, early on in the relationship

Once you've had sex (sex is wild, but has a push-you-away, mechanical feel to it), pillow talks will involve her:

• laying down her expectations
• mentioning her exes and how well she was taken care of
• talks of her other romantic options

Noted in color above: That's one thing I forgot to list in my list of symptoms. A sure indicator of BPD is that she will feel the overwhelming need to confess things, like perhaps a financial indiscretion, out of nowhere. You will be about to enter a restaurant, for example, and she will say "Wait, I want to tell you about something", and then will "confess" something that in the big scheme of things is irrelevent to you. It will be a definite WTF moment, and there will be more than one.

You will also notice a SCARY inability on her part to control her impulses. If she buys you a gift, she will feel compelled to open it and "try it" and then re-wrapping it. She will call you at 2:00 a.m. She will promise to do something (say, perhaps, cook you dinner), and then "decide" to change plans and want to go for dinner instead.

And these are only the minor, relatively insignificant symptoms. I have stopped making light of my last BPD because I recognize how truly damaged these people are. They act like monsters because they are broken and cannot help themselves. Of this I am convinced.

 

[rastapasta]

Yes, Larry is 100% correct. I was honestly shaken to my core that I even allowed crazy to come that close to me. There were real red flags but I ignored them because 1) I wanted to be Capt Save a ho, 2) I had vulnerabilities due loss of my dog and 3) I had no idea this disease even existed and crazy could come that close to me through lies and manipulation.

Lastly, she threatened me in ways that could have affected my entire life in negative ways should she actually carry out those threats, although at this point I am pretty sure this is only to elicit some kind of reaction. But it is still unnerving, no one ever threatens me and no one who is sane would do so in the ways she did. As a result she made me feel unsafe in my own home. I sleep with my .45 just in case. Most people who know me would say I am the most chill dude ever and I rarely have any drama in my life, so imagine going from that to this. If you really want BPD she is still in So Cal, I'd hook you up but I don't even wish this plague on my worst enemy :nono:

 

[SgtSplacker]

The treatment you receive from a BPD girl is difficult to explain but I will try.

She will always be awesome in the sack, either because she looks good or is a filthy ***** in bed. I mean awesome as in doing everything you ever wanted from a woman. She has to be absolutely awesome because this is what will keep you coming back to her over and over. BJs while you play video games, spontaneous BJs in the morning, all the sex you ever wanted, Arse to mouth, no holds barred. You will sleep with sore genitalia every night. You will have as much sex as you can physically handle without bleeding... too much.

She will idolize you like a king, like a real king. You will feel like you are at the top of the world. There will seemingly be nothing wrong with this girl. You will think you actually found the last one.

Your own personal little ***** that will follow your every command and adore you for giving the command truly and sincerely.

But then....

She will totally freak out over something so incredibly trivial that you might make light of it because she is being so ridiculous.

You will say something stupid, something that may be actually rude because you have basically been baited into it.

If you thought she was mad before well now you have a real problem because it's not her fault any more it's really yours because you actually said something mean now. Maybe it was calling her a nutjob, maybe it was just trying to walk away from this strangeness. Whatever it was you did it, and it was one of those particular things that destroy her emotionally. A betrayal of the highest order.

And all to the person that dearly adores you so much, how could you do that to me? After I have loved you so much?

You are going to have the biggest fight you have ever had and after all the fuss and fighting you may actually forget what originally caused the whole thing from the fatigue the whole thing causes you. You definitely will not know what you are fighting about half way into the whole ordeal because what you are experiencing is pure anger and frustration. There is no topic, or subject, there is no solution there is no way you can fix this because there is nothing that requires fixing. She will b!tch about every single little thing that anyone can possibly be upset over. Let me repeat because maybe you don't get this part "She will b!tch about every single little thing that anyone can possibly be upset over." and your reaction to this will make things worse regardless of what your reaction is anger, indifference, logic, reasoning will all be thrown back in your face. It will be your fault in the end no matter what.

Now the reality of this is that you have just spent the last couple hours in heated argument and all over everything and nothing at the same time. Your mind will be exhausted from all the accusations and screaming.

This is when you start to lose touch with reality.

When you suffer you start to think differently, to torture someone and make them suffer makes them more malleable or susceptible to brainwashing. You can torture someone and then call yourself god in front of them and they will believe it. Don't ask me to explain this any further trust me it's true it just works this way.

You will be lost, you will not know whats normal whats true. What's OK what's not. The lines of conduct and decency will be blurred.

Then while you are in this state she will make up with you and make it all better with her secks, her awesome secks.

All these things release chemicals in your body making your reactions good and bad to be exaggerated. The sex is better, the anger is worse.

There is also a timing element to this. As soon as you start to feel better it will happen again.

and again

and again

All the while you are building more time with her, becoming more vested in your relationship. Maybe you bought her some expensive gifts, I mean she does treat you like a king after all. Fully and completely committed to you right? She deserves something for her efforts right?

Of course her fits of jealousy will leave no room for other plates, all the girls on FBook have left because of her comments driving them away. A BPD girl works overtime every single day feeding her broken emotions and jealousy constantly.

Breaking down your social support network one friend at a time for one reason or another.

Then you will be sick of it all and finally break things off with her.

And here you are, alone with the memories of your glory as King Dumbarse trying to piece together the pieces of your life left over.

 

[j0504s]

The treatment you receive from a BPD girl is difficult to explain but I will try.

She will always be awesome in the sack, either because she looks good or is a filthy ***** in bed. I mean awesome as in doing everything you ever wanted from a woman. She has to be absolutely awesome because this is what will keep you coming back to her over and over. BJs while you play video games, spontaneous BJs in the morning, all the sex you ever wanted, Arse to mouth, no holds barred. You will sleep with sore genitalia every night. You will have as much sex as you can physically handle without bleeding... too much.

She will idolize you like a king, like a real king. You will feel like you are at the top of the world. There will seemingly be nothing wrong with this girl. You will think you actually found the last one.

Your own personal little ***** that will follow your every command and adore you for giving the command truly and sincerely.

But then....

She will totally freak out over something so incredibly trivial that you might make light of it because she is being so ridiculous.

You will say something stupid, something that may be actually rude because you have basically been baited into it.

If you thought she was mad before well now you have a real problem because it's not her fault any more it's really yours because you actually said something mean now. Maybe it was calling her a nutjob, maybe it was just trying to walk away from this strangeness. Whatever it was you did it, and it was one of those particular things that destroy her emotionally. A betrayal of the highest order.

And all to the person that dearly adores you so much, how could you do that to me? After I have loved you so much?

You are going to have the biggest fight you have ever had and after all the fuss and fighting you may actually forget what originally caused the whole thing from the fatigue the whole thing causes you. You definitely will not know what you are fighting about half way into the whole ordeal because what you are experiencing is pure anger and frustration. There is no topic, or subject, there is no solution there is no way you can fix this because there is nothing that requires fixing. She will b!tch about every single little thing that anyone can possibly be upset over. Let me repeat because maybe you don't get this part "She will b!tch about every single little thing that anyone can possibly be upset over." and your reaction to this will make things worse regardless of what your reaction is anger, indifference, logic, reasoning will all be thrown back in your face. It will be your fault in the end no matter what.

Now the reality of this is that you have just spent the last couple hours in heated argument and all over everything and nothing at the same time. Your mind will be exhausted from all the accusations and screaming.

This is when you start to lose touch with reality.

When you suffer you start to think differently, to torture someone and make them suffer makes them more malleable or susceptible to brainwashing. You can torture someone and then call yourself god in front of them and they will believe it. Don't ask me to explain this any further trust me it's true it just works this way.

You will be lost, you will not know whats normal whats true. What's OK what's not. The lines of conduct and decency will be blurred.

Then while you are in this state she will make up with you and make it all better with her secks, her awesome secks.

All these things release chemicals in your body making your reactions good and bad to be exaggerated. The sex is better, the anger is worse.

There is also a timing element to this. As soon as you start to feel better it will happen again.

and again

and again

All the while you are building more time with her, becoming more vested in your relationship. Maybe you bought her some expensive gifts, I mean she does treat you like a king after all. Fully and completely committed to you right? She deserves something for her efforts right?

Of course her fits of jealousy will leave no room for other plates, all the girls on FBook have left because of her comments driving them away. A BPD girl works overtime every single day feeding her broken emotions and jealousy constantly.

Breaking down your social support network one friend at a time for one reason or another.

Then you will be sick of it all and finally break things off with her.

And here you are, alone with the memories of your glory as King Dumbarse trying to piece together the pieces of your life left over.

This is some very strong and accurate stuff right here, Zarky beware dude she will suck u in, suck u off then suck the life out of you trust me dude.

also zarky you should be happy you dont understand these bpd threads. because us that do wish we didnt.

 

[rastapasta]

This is some very strong and accurate stuff right here, Zarky beware dude she will suck u in, suck u off then suck the life out of you trust me dude.

also zarky you should be happy you dont understand these bpd threads. because us that do wish we didnt.

^^^^
this.

And actually to add, I didn't F this BPD girl. She wanted to one evening but I didn't have protection and even as she was trying to rip my pants off I denied her for some reason (instinct?)...and I can honestly say I have never been so happy to not get laid in my life.

 

[Larry Lurex]

Zarky, I totally understand your curiosity.

I would hold that I do not regret having had a relationship with BPD. Mine was a bit worse - she was a self-confessed gold digger. Lessons learned, pain inflicted. I missed the good times, but I must toughen up as life shall go on.

I have never met anyone who can utilise the virtue of (anti?-)honesty in such endearing and seductive ways; and in one way or another, kinship with a BPD will reveal something about yourself that you have not known prior. These are powerful tools that one can apply as well.

Tread carefully. BPDs are not to be trifled with. With them, it is harder to be emotionally detached than you think it is. How it turns out in the end depends entirely on you.

Tip: She may at a certain point in time reveal that she is a "bimbo" or a "biotch", but they demand to be treated like a lady. It's a weird paradox between self-gender hate and demanding extreme femininity on herself. They are suckers for textbook romantics, i.e. flowers, walks on beach, car door opened, etc.

 

[Zarky]

Nice responses and descriptions, thanks guys!

She sent me a text asking if I wanted to pick her up from her acting class tonight rather than later at her house. I told her I had to get some work done so later was better.