Is this a decent idea for beginning to make approaches?

[FromNothin2Somethin]

Hey guys. Im new to this site, this is my first post. I just started reading stuff on the site just in the past 3 or 4 days, and it gave me some more motivation to do what i just have not been able to do so far in college, or really ever...APPROACH GIRLS!!!

Last week, I came up with an idea that I thought would be a pretty good way to at least be a little more comfortable with beginning to approach. Here's what I came up with:

I approach a girl sitting by herself wherever. Then go up to her and say:

"Hi. How you doin? You have a couple minutes?"

"My name is Eric, I'm currently in a treatment group for social anxiety, and my assignment this week is to introduce myself to 10 new people and have a short (2-4 minute) conversation, and then to have you evaluate my performance."

From there, I say something like "please excuse if i seem nervous or anything, but I'm really trying to get better at this."

Then, I have a few standard questions I ask em, just to have something to talk about. Usually that leads into something else we can talk about for another minute or two. By then I like to end the conversation and get their evaluation.

I just started putting this in action yesterday, and I was able to talk to 4 girls. Overall, I thought this went fairly well, and provided me a temporary safety net (their knowledge of my social anxiety) from my flaws and obvious nervousness. I'm going to try to do 10 of these, and then hopefully I will be ready to approach girls WITHOUT this little scheme.

I wanted to see what yall thought of this. Is it a good way to begin making approaches? I was even thinking of trying to ask out the last couple girls I approach using this method . That way, if they reject me, at least I can say something like "well, i wanted to jump the gun and go for a couple rejections before completing this project, thank you."

Alright Ill check back with you guys later. Peace.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I see merit in your approach if it's just used as a means to work through ones anxiety about approaching women. I wouldn't use it for anything other than to have a short conversation with a woman but forgoing the close.

The issue with using this approach is that there is a high possibility that it will put the woman on guard. This is because you are basically introducing yourself as someone that has a disorder. She may thing that if she blows you off you may have a breakdown and if she doesn't, you may attach yourself to her like a lost puppy.

Again, I would just use it to overcome any phobias you may have and then move on to meeting women without personal excuses but because you think they are worth getting to know.

 

[Survivor]

First of all, congratulations on taking action!

Over time, you'll learn that exposing your weaknesses to women so early (such as your social anxiety) is not such a good idea. But for right now, that's irrelevant.

What matters is that you are doing something to change yourself for the better. Continue to improve and have fun!

Good work!

 

[Mr. Latte]

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP. All you're doing is giving yourself a "safety net." You're gonna learn to talk to girls, but you'll be just as bad off as when you first started, because you're gonna NEED that safety net of "social anxiety therapy." Plus, it's just kinda creepy. Not to be harsh, but do it right, or don't do it @ all. Feel free to send me a PM if you need any advice or encouragement.

 

[Cheiradawg]

If you say that she is gonna think you are a wierdo. Most likely she will be nice to you because she feels sorry for you. Now is that what you really want? Chicks don't bang wierdos they feel sorry for.

 

[Julian]

This idea is ill fated.


I agree with the above poster, it is a safety net. The thing with Dj'ing is you dont want a safety net. When you slip on the tight ropes you WANT to fall to your "death". This is the only way for you to be ressurected into a true don.

 

[Mr. Latte]

Julian, did you and I just agree for the second time in less than 24 hours? Kinda creepy

 

[Walden]

Hey man , good on you for taking action.

If you think it'll help you then try it out!

 

[FromNothin2Somethin]

Good good. Thanks for the replies. I was hoping to have a couple when I got back from classes. It's cool that there are positive and negative responses too.

Latte, Cheiradawg, and Julian:

I do understand your take on this. As I was out and about today, planning on approaching 2 or 3 more girls with my described method, but i was thinking it just seemed kinda unnecessary.

I think the main reason I decided to try this technique was to give me somewhat of a motive to approach and introduce myself. After yesterday, I now know that this IS possible, although still not easy. And after 10, you're right Latte, I may end up no better off than when i started. As for the wierdo thing, I'm not too worried about that with any of the 10 girls because I'm mainly just trying to improve in my intros and not too worried about shes thinkin, I dont plan on talkin to em or askin em out anytime.

Well, now I guess I could use some input on how to start with straight-up approaches, no BS. If I dont SAY anything at all relating to my social anxiety, I'm pretty sure she will be able to pick up on it through my nervous tone and unsettling BL and EC. So, is it alright to approach girls pretty much knowing i'll get rejected because of my inexperience, or should I do my best to hide my nervous appearance and uneasiness. Any advice will be nice.

Sorry if my posts seem kinda long. Just wanna say everything i wanna say. Alright peace.

 

[Julian]

Julian, did you and I just agree for the second time in less than 24 hours? Kinda creepy

Lol, i think this is a sign of the apocolypse.

 

[Starman]

If you are using this method to score #'s Fahgattaboutit..like the fellas said..you come off as saying "I have a disorder, please be nice to me"

Its a great way to break out of your shyness and talk to girls..as long as you dont expect to NUMBER CLOSE

I once used this technique .. I had a little notpad and a pencil..I would go up to random girls at bars, parks, beach, hotels, etc

and say "Excuse me..Im blah blah blah..and Im writing a book on the singles scene here in chicago..do you have a couple minutes to answer some questions?"

Usually they got really interested that they got to meet a WRITER(status appeal)..and 2nd their opinions would be included in a Survey IN THE BOOK(appeal to contributing to a work, and possibly being made "popular")

then you have an array of questions to ask

Are you single? what type of men do you like? how many dates have you been on this year? what is the # 1 thing you notice in a man? the list is endless

its like being on a date..without her even knowing..then you do the fluff talk..ask for her #..and say you can get together and talk more about the book, or even say "I'd like to get some more of your input on this..but I really need to get back out and get some more responses"

It worked magic for me..but its a bit too scheming for my taste..and Ive learned to do without the props by now

but its a great way to get started if you have some anxiety

cheers

 

[seulaxplaya]

smile and say hi and just go with the situation

 

[tomyv]

no way

I think it makes you sound like a weirdo. And I would have to say that it won't work.