Is there such a thing as "Out of my league"

[EternalBachelor]

I have been working on my game a lot in recent years, and am a lot more confident and better at teasing women than I ever used to be, but every time I get passed up for better looking guys.

I am increasingly thinking it is almost entirely about looks. While girls say "Oh looks don't matter" you only have to see the way they swoon over hot guys in the gym and pretty boys at the university to see this isn't true. While I can charm a girl I am never going to be able to have her lusting over me.

I like pretty girls who would be considered by most people who do not know of this site as "Out of my league" but much as I try to DJ them without initial physical attraction I seem to get nowhere while good looking guys have them coming onto them without even having to try.

I am not bad looking-probably around a 6: I am tall and am in good shape but am very boyish looking. It seems girls go for the handsome and more masculine looking guys.

I am loath to settle for a girl i am not attracted to, but have been single for a while having been rejected by lots of girls and am thinking is it unrealistic to expect to be able to pull a 8 or a 9 given I am hardly a model?

I know this concept is anathema to most on this site as we are here in the belief that we can overcome any physical shortcomings via study to seduce beautiful women, but are women that much different from men? No matter how much of a Don Juanita a girl is if she is plain I wouldn't go for her. It seems to be the same for men.

 

[penkitten]

sure , however there are exceptions to every rule.

 

[Oxide]

no, there are no leagues. I am not saying this becuase i want to think this way. I am saying this becuase i have had beautiful girls fall for me, and seen plenty more fall for guys who arent models.

So kick that excuse to the curb right now.

 

[diablo]

One question for you: Have you ever seen a hot girl who's dating a plain guy?

Of course you have. There's your answer.

 

[Wyldfire]

Well, I can only speak for myself...and for me, I'm very visual and admittedly shallow about looks. I've only been involved with one guy who I didn't consider very attractive. He was funny, I thought he was kinda cute in a dorky kinda way. Of course, the fact that he was hung like a horse didn't hurt any, either.

But yeah...some girls won't give a guy the time of day if she doesn't consider him hot.

 

[No Escape]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Well, I can only speak for myself...and for me, I'm very visual and admittedly shallow about looks. I've only been involved with one guy who I didn't consider very attractive. He was funny, I thought he was kinda cute in a dorky kinda way. Of course, the fact that he was hung like a horse didn't hurt any, either.

But yeah...some girls won't give a guy the time of day if she doesn't consider him hot.

Looks matter not to women. I see tons of hot women with the ugliest dudes. I used to think women went for looks..not the case at all. The majority don't care. Like Oxide said, there are no leagues. Hot women will go for ANYONE.

 

[EternalBachelor]

Thanks guys for giving me encouragement.

I have not had a lot of success with girls over the years and as I cannot see anything too wrong with me, I have been concluding it must be my looks. Maybe I need to just examine myself more closely and brush up my game.

I don't often see hot girls with average guys, unless the guy has something like social proof, money or is very masculine or sexy.

Perhaps there may be the occasional average guy who gets lucky with a hot girl, but I cannot think of an average guy who regularly pulls hot women, whereas most of my handsome male friends have a huge amount of dating options with gorgeous girls. And success with women is undeniably correlated with looks.

 

[jordan23]

Originally posted by EternalBachelor


I am not bad looking-probably around a 6: I am tall and am in good shape but am very boyish looking. It seems girls go for the handsome and more masculine looking guys.

The guys that pull off hot women on a consistent basis yet their looks aren't anything great, they have maleness that compensates for it. It's not even about just being in shape as much as it is having a tough, masculine look.

A boyish looking guy that is just "ok" is almost as bad to girls as a fat woman is to guys.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by No Escape
Looks matter not to women. I see tons of hot women with the ugliest dudes. I used to think women went for looks..not the case at all. The majority don't care. Like Oxide said, there are no leagues. Hot women will go for ANYONE.

I hear guys on here say this a lot...that they see tons of beautiful women with ugly men. I have never seen this. Maybe guys just don't know how to guage whether or not a guy is attractive to women.

 

[Fatality]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
I hear guys on here say this a lot...that they see tons of beautiful women with ugly men. I have never seen this. Maybe guys just don't know how to guage whether or not a guy is attractive to women.

I have to agree with you here. There are plenty of average looking men with hot chicks but not ugly. "Ugly" is a very strong word used too often. Drew Carey is ugly. Tom Hanks is average.

 

[Oxide]

True, UGLY guys will have a VERY difficult times pulling a hot girl, but it can be done. Funny thing is, he will usually have an easier time keeping her becuase she was attracted to him for other reasons than his looks.

One of the reasons a hot girl is going out with a guy who isnt nearly as attractive is simply becuase she was an ugly duckling. I've personally seen this happen.. a girl who didnt start becoming hot till her senior year in HS started going out with a 200+ PC nerd who sucked in bed.. She turned very sexy but no matter how hard other guys try, she is comitted. They are going more than 2 years now.

There are NOT a TON of beautiful women with ugly guys. Handful may be (considering a guy doesnt have money/power/celebrity status).

However, anyone can easily boost their "sex appeal" just by doing little things like getting new clothes and working out. (The brain has to be developed of course). ANYONE here can look better than they already do.

 

[jordan23]

The poster said he isn't ugly. He said he's decent and keeps in shape. His problem is that he doesn't look masculine and his looks aren't so good that he can get away with it.

People on this site toss around the words "ugly" and "hot" like there's no middle ground. A girl who's a 6 is an "UG" to some guys on here. A guy who isn't handsome is "ugly." This whole black and white, no middle ground sh*t gets old.

 

[belividere]

for the most part I do kind of believe in leagues and always have. I rarely see an average guy with a girl who is extremely attractive. Now I know that this is a different world and all but the most hopeful example I can give regarding this situation is Brooke burke and her husband. This girl is easily a 10 in my book and E ran a special about her and I got a look at her husband and seriously laughed for a good 5 mins. What I consider one of the sexiest women in the world with a completely beat up looking fat guy. So I would like to believe there is hope for everyone.

Like I said though I do believe in leagues to some extent. I have a few friends who are way out of shape have no style and cannot talk to girls. They honestly think they will get a hot chick by being the way that they are. Girls do care about how a guy looks, especially when they are younger. people are shallow there is no way around it. Most of the mediocre looking guys with hot girls either have been turned down a lot or have something appealing to them. Looks are a foot in the door but what you do when you are inside separates the men from the boys.

 

[BeLoSH]

women will go with almost everyone and not based on looks. iv seen fat ugly, big sweaty bouncers on club doors with 8 or 9s. and thats because they have a presence and an attitude.

looks arent there main priority, so dont stick yourself in a league.

 

[arq-dj1]

looks isn't a problem

the problem that the poster exposed is that he has a boyish feature, and i relate to that because i have one too
and there is nothing u can change, i got bigger, let my hair grow to look messy, but i still look young and "less" masculine..


in my case, i have to really know and talk a lot with the girl im interested to change her pre-concept of me... that is "he look like a baby, ohh so yummy, he most be such a nice guy" and not "damn, hes hot, i wanna fuk him till my brain pops-out"

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by EternalBachelor
Thanks guys for giving me encouragement.

I have not had a lot of success with girls over the years and as I cannot see anything too wrong with me, I have been concluding it must be my looks. Maybe I need to just examine myself more closely and brush up my game.

I don't often see hot girls with average guys, unless the guy has something like social proof, money or is very masculine or sexy.

Perhaps there may be the occasional average guy who gets lucky with a hot girl, but I cannot think of an average guy who regularly pulls hot women, whereas most of my handsome male friends have a huge amount of dating options with gorgeous girls. And success with women is undeniably correlated with looks.

This post right here is the exact as well as the only reason women are out of your league. As long as you believe it, it will be true. You only see hot women with hot men because this is a belief you have and so this is the only thing your mind looks to see.

The funny thing about the brain is it only sees what it wants to see. This is why after a break up, or someone cheated on you you can admit that you saw the signs the entire time but at the time you didnt want to see it so you didn't see it. As long as you believe there is monsters under the bed you will see monsters shadows at night. The very second you decide there is no such thing as monster the only shadows you see are the trees outside.

As long as you believe this, this will always be your reality. Celebrities go from ordinary person who couldnt get a single good looking woman to doing a movie and everybody "now" telling them how hot they are, and the next thing you know they get all the women they want. These people don't always exhibit a physical change, but they always exhibit a mental change of perception.

The very second you believe someone is "out of your league" they are.

 

[BeLoSH]

"The very second you believe someone is "out of your league" they are."


excellent words elite

 

[EternalBachelor]

I think the poster who commented on boyishness has isolated my main problem. I have nice features but look very boyish and innocent-blonde hair, blue eyes, quite a round face. I look like a sweet, nice guy. I am 21 but still get mistaken for 18. Women seem to go for masculine looking men, even if they are not objectively the prettiest. They will say I am cute or quite good looking but never hot or sexy, and this seems to be a problem.

I don't like to believe in leagues as I know it is a defeatist attitude, and for a long time went for every girl I found attractive no matter how pretty she was, but a lot of rejections has left me feeling rather bruised and convinced that i am wasting my time and should settle for chasing girls in my own league rather than stay single in the hope of finding a hottie.

And I have done everything I can to work on my looks, such as working out, dressing well, getting a fashionable haircut etc.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by EternalBachelor
I think the poster who commented on boyishness has isolated my main problem. I have nice features but look very boyish and innocent-blonde hair, blue eyes, quite a round face. I look like a sweet, nice guy. I am 21 but still get mistaken for 18. Women seem to go for masculine looking men, even if they are not objectively the prettiest. They will say I am cute or quite good looking but never hot or sexy, and this seems to be a problem.

I don't like to believe in leagues as I know it is a defeatist attitude, and for a long time went for every girl I found attractive no matter how pretty she was, but a lot of rejections has left me feeling rather bruised and convinced that i am wasting my time and should settle for chasing girls in my own league rather than stay single in the hope of finding a hottie.

And I have done everything I can to work on my looks, such as working out, dressing well, getting a fashionable haircut etc.

You have dont everything except work on your attitude. You are walking around with one big ball of negative energy. I dont care how many women you chase, if your attitude stinks you are not going to get what you would like.

YOu want something positive like a great relationship with a great woman but all you are bringing to the table is negative energy. Why do you think the universe would bless you with positiveness when they only thing you are emitting is negativeness.

You really need to stop posting and reread all of your post and ask yourself if this was somethig else so you think they are a positive person?

As long as you are negative you will only get that. This is why celebrities get so much free stuff, because after becoming big the only way they can think is positive, and universe rewards them for that.

 

[arq-dj1]

maybe
but i still think that having boyish features is still a downward... everything is possible tho...