Is there a reason for women to treat you like **it?

[NeedToImprove]

i mean i don't know if it happened to you guys but i noticed it happened to me a lot. they don't come up to you and treat you bad, but i notice by the way they talk to methe way they look at me (with disdain and superiority), the way they act when i'm around them. and i notice how they treat other guys, they treat them with respect, with a smile, with a soft voice. i notice that because i'm not an AFC anymore but i'm not a Don Juan either.

I think it's a good thing to perceive the differences in treatment, what i'm unable to do is to make them treat me like those other guys. What are the main factors for this?

a) ugliness / no chemistry

b) insecurity / weakness

c) lack of social proof

d) lack of a good social status

e)i read/heard, i dont remember well, that a woman identifies in our faces if we are a virgin or dont have an active sexual life, is that true? ( i call that one bull****) (and yes im a 32 year old virgin)



Another thing i notice is when being online they are more courageous when dissing me or my photos with things like: " i like the glasses " or " the dog is cute i can't say the same about the owner"... yep they are shallow like that in places like netlog or myspace. When you call them on their *****ness they act like they have all the right to do that.

 

[vonbock]

you'll notice my other posts.
If girls sense you are naive, nice guy, inexperienced, they don't want you.
You can try to fake it, they can sense it. Do you ever get depressed sometimes over missing out on what other guys have?

 

[NeedToImprove]

yes i do get depressed vonbock, sometimes a bit jealous too, even of my friends. why is that mate?

can u please link me to your posts. i would like to read them. thanks in advance.

btw you said you can fake it but they sense you are inexperiencied, naive,etc. so it's true that if you havent had sex for a long time, or no sex at all they will sense it just by looking at you? that's just crazy... does that mean i have no chance?

i think if a woman likes you even that she notices that she will "close her eyes" and forget she noticed that.

 

[YoungSir4sho]

I say b, also u are 32 n a virgin by choice? Smile when u see a girl n eye contact will help alot

 

[NeedToImprove]

no not by choice. just wasnt much popular with women, had some chances but i blew them up (not that i missed much though, having sex with women you are not into its just not for me).

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Why not provide some more details about this, such as the environment, if they know the other guys better than you, if the other guys have more status than you, if the other guys are really non-virgins or sexually active (how would you know that?), if the gals are 'friends' with the guys, or are they more than friends (i.e. fvck buddy network), etc... I think there is allot of information that is missing for anyone to answer this question accurately.

 

[NeedToImprove]

Luke i give you for example university or work, they have a different atitude when/if a guy is hot. the hottest he is the more respect, interest he has on their part. You may think it's bull**** but it definitely isn't. Maybe im a good observer.

 

[vonbock]

seems like you have everything like me. Unfortunately, people like us, are the nice guys of the world. There are times when I get really depressed how everyone has fun and here I am afriad that people are going to find out about my past that i was naive, socially inept, loser.

 

[AKA FLEX]

i mean i don't know if it happened to you guys but i noticed it happened to me a lot. they don't come up to you and treat you bad, but i notice by the way they talk to methe way they look at me (with disdain and superiority), the way they act when i'm around them. and i notice how they treat other guys, they treat them with respect, with a smile, with a soft voice. i notice that because i'm not an AFC anymore but i'm not a Don Juan either.

I think it's a good thing to perceive the differences in treatment, what i'm unable to do is to make them treat me like those other guys. What are the main factors for this?

a) ugliness / no chemistry

b) insecurity / weakness

c) lack of social proof

d) lack of a good social status

e)i read/heard, i dont remember well, that a woman identifies in our faces if we are a virgin or dont have an active sexual life, is that true? ( i call that one bull****) (and yes im a 32 year old virgin)



Another thing i notice is when being online they are more courageous when dissing me or my photos with things like: " i like the glasses " or " the dog is cute i can't say the same about the owner"... yep they are shallow like that in places like netlog or myspace. When you call them on their *****ness they act like they have all the right to do that.

I'm sure you probably know this, but confidence is your big issue. You need to do something to boost it big time, such as:

- Get laid!!!!

- Hit the gym and get in shape. AWESOME for increasing confidence.

- Identify your areas of strength.

- Stay off Myspace! That site will do nothing for the game and confidence of a guy like you.

- Join local clubs/networking groups in areas of interest to you.

 

[Bonafide]

If they say **** like "The dog is cute but I cant say the same about the owner" im pretty damn sure they are just playing. That is just too blatant and disrespectful to be true. Its probably a body language and the overall presence of yourself that makes them think and feel tihs way about you. You should know that they are females and thats the end. They are nothing but women. You are greater than them all. They are superior to you. Although some people may have problems with that kind of thinking, **** them. It will make you better. Guarantee. Just think and KNOW that you are the sh1t. Your the man. Nobody can touch you.

 

[Jeffst1980]

a couple of things:

1) You have a bit of "inverse-ONEitis" that is coloring your view of the world. You believe that you have been singled out, among billions of people, as the one guy not physically attractive enough to get laid. You DO realize how farfetched this is, don't you?

Even if you were ugly (which you are NOT, I'm guessing), it STILL wouldn't keep you from getting the girls that you want. What WILL keep you from getting them is believing that you simply aren't attractive enough.

I had a friend that was very good looking when I was younger. Girls would flirt with him constantly and tease him, under the assumption that he KNEW he was attractive. He didn't. He had such a negative self-image that he read EVERYTHING as a looks-related dis. Even when a girl we WEREN'T gaming would talk to both of us, he would be bothered if she gave me more eye contact than him and believe that it was because he was ugly. It really was very sad--he grew out of that stage, fortunately.

Looks (not appearance i.e. clothes, hygeine, etc.) don't amount to much in a work environment. . .if they did, only extremely good looking people would become CEO's!! Come on, you should know better than that. If the girls there don't respect you, it's because you are projecting such a low self-confidence. You need to establish confidence with your co-workers (and that's what those girls are, they are NOT there to game) from the get-go.

I want you to try something for me as an experiment.
Go to a class of some sort---yoga, improv, art, dance, whatever--with people in your age range that you have NEVER met before. As soon as you get there, introduce yourself to EVERYONE with a confident smile. Don't even WORRY about running PUA s#it or anything---just go up and introduce yourself, get their names, and make some silly comment, all with strong eye contact--almost like a salesman would. Establish the frame that you love meeting new people and you love who you are. I guarantee that the women there will react favorably to a man that is confident enough to make an entrance like that with NO HESITATION.

which brings me to my next point:

2) GET OFF MYSPACE!!! Seriously!
Women on myspace are not there to be picked up. They are there for attention or to keep in touch with friends. That's why they are rude (although "i like your glasses" does not sound like a dis to me). It doesn't matter WHAT you look like--one of my ex-gfs used to get messages from your typical ripped prettyboy guidos and she would write rude things to them (she was a AW, in case you hadn't guessed). Myspace is NOT real life. You might as well consider the girls you talk to on there IMAGINARY, because they are not presenting their true selves (or ages/body types, either!). You just CAN'T build significant attraction on Myspace.

Go to "real life" venues and classes and just TALK to people. Don't even worry about trying to pick up girls, because your attitude isn't ready for it. Just make conversation with EVERYONE so you can start to feel comfortable socializing and realize that women DON'T disdain you. Women WANT to be attracted to you and have sex with you--but it's up to you to present yourself in a way that allows that to happen.

You can do this. Everyone can.

Best Wishes!

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Luke i give you for example university or work, they have a different atitude when/if a guy is hot. the hottest he is the more respect, interest he has on their part. You may think it's bull**** but it definitely isn't. Maybe im a good observer.

The reason I've asked you is that it's very easy to jump to conclusions and read up on things that may not be there so any other variable in your environment has to be ruled out.

I mean there are different angles of dealing with this. Lots of people are giving advice on it, that's great, hopefully it will work for you. Other angles is to keep things objective where it should be. That means marking any hot guy individually, studying his movements, who he is talking to, studying the women who they are talking to, or if they are also treating anyone else badly, etc.... otherwise you'll just feel bad all the time, every single day you are in that environment.

Anyway, I understand what you are saying. It feels like you are a black person in the pre-civil rights movement when you are dealing with women, right, a certain class of guys have priviledged VIP treatment, while you feel you belong to the class that they feel they are doing you a favour just by paying attention to you or you are part of an oppressed group of guys known as 'the nice guy'.

Why not then just compromise your standards a bit, go out with girls that you are not into, but who like you, so you can get an ego-boost and feel that someone is at least treating you like a man, even though you may not like her physically. This is what I'm doing, and it gives you at least a sence you have options, even if they are artificial.

 

[slaog]

First thing you need to do is unplug from the matrix and change your beliefs. Once you start to do that you'll see things far more clearly and see where you have been going wrong all the time.