Is there a difference between loving someone and being "in love"?

[fasttrack]

How can you really tell? I've never really given it much thought before, but if you're with someone and you're at the "I love you" stage...does it really mean that they're "in-love" with you? Don't you just end up loving someone if you're with them long enough...more so because you care about them and not necessarily because they give you that "special" feeling?

For example, my girlfriend dated a guy seriously for about a year. He would always say "I love you" and she would always respond "me too". She may have said it a few times on her own, but rarely. Looking back she says that she can see that she loved him because she cared about him. She doesn't think that she was ever "in-love" with him. Does that make any sense at all? I've recently started hearing her say it to me under her breath usually when we're kissing or other more quiet times. We've been dating for about 7 months now though, so maybe it's more like the caring kind of love...who knows?

Anyway, I'm just interested to hear what opinion people have on this topic. How can you really tell the difference?

Fasttrack

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by fasttrack
How can you really tell? I've never really given it much thought before, but if you're with someone and you're at the "I love you" stage...does it really mean that they're "in-love" with you? Don't you just end up loving someone if you're with them long enough...more so because you care about them and not necessarily because they give you that "special" feeling?

For example, my girlfriend dated a guy seriously for about a year. He would always say "I love you" and she would always respond "me too". She may have said it a few times on her own, but rarely. Looking back she says that she can see that she loved him because she cared about him. She doesn't think that she was ever "in-love" with him. Does that make any sense at all? I've recently started hearing her say it to me under her breath usually when we're kissing or other more quiet times. We've been dating for about 7 months now though, so maybe it's more like the caring kind of love...who knows?

Anyway, I'm just interested to hear what opinion people have on this topic. How can you really tell the difference?

Fasttrack

I love my car. I'm not in love with my car. There's a distinct difference.

 

[Wyldfire]

Yes, there is a difference. You can be "in love" with someone and not love them. Being in love has nothing at all to do with how you feel about the other person. It's all about how you feel about YOURSELF when you are with them. Actual love is something more substantial that comes with time. Loving someone has everything to do with how you feel about them and nothing to do with how you feel about yourself, whether with that person or not. Love is a much stronger and longer lasting thing than being "in love".

Most of the time when people you've been with a short time say "I love you", they really don't. They're just feeling "in love" with you, which means they feel really good with you. That's not love, though...although it can grow to be in time.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

"In-Love" is a connection with 1 person.


The idea of Love is different. I won't get 'deep' here, but all should love each other, because at a very basic level, even deeper than 'this planet' we're all connected, and disliking someone else is only a reflection on disliking yourself.


Love is a feeling one should erase the physicality of. Imagine her and what you sense WITHOUT her look, because THAT'S the essence of what she gives. Sure, she has beautiful eyes, or an awesome look when she moans in bed, and that's important in a L/T relationship...but what, as a person does she do for you exclusively to warrant your committment, thoughts, affections, and mental space.





A-unit

 

[DeathDealer]

There is no such thing as love, there is only lust, or intellectual understanding of each other, or the idea of love (movies, tv, music.)

people marry out of convenience or social status - nothing more.

 

[DeathDealer]

Re: Re:

Originally posted by A-Unit
"In-Love" is a connection with 1 person.


The idea of Love is different. I won't get 'deep' here, but all should love each other, because at a very basic level, even deeper than 'this planet' we're all connected, and disliking someone else is only a reflection on disliking yourself.


Love is a feeling one should erase the physicality of. Imagine her and what you sense WITHOUT her look, because THAT'S the essence of what she gives. Sure, she has beautiful eyes, or an awesome look when she moans in bed, and that's important in a L/T relationship...but what, as a person does she do for you exclusively to warrant your committment, thoughts, affections, and mental space.





A-unit

Dude, get real.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by DeathDealer
There is no such thing as love, there is only lust, or intellectual understanding of each other, or the idea of love (movies, tv, music.)

people marry out of convenience or social status - nothing more.

You're wrong...love does exist. You simply haven't experienced it yet so it doesn't seem "real". Most couples feel "in love" for awhile...but if there isn't any substance included it doesn't typically last long enough for actual love to develop.

 

[Krassus]

Originally posted by DeathDealer
There is no such thing as love, there is only lust, or intellectual understanding of each other, or the idea of love (movies, tv, music.)

people marry out of convenience or social status - nothing more.

You're like a blind man who claims light doesn't exist because he can't see it.