Is the curse of a Don Juan being alone?

[Matt Rogers]

I hit up a girl I met a while ago. Turns out she had a boyfriend. I saw pictures of the boyfriend and he is really homely. She is a sexy, model good looking girl.
I asked her what she saw in him. She replied "he works hard to keep me happy".

My immediate reaction to think to myself: that guy's such an AFC, she should be with a guy like me. But then I gave pause to thought and looked back on previous relationships of mine which didn't work out.

To be honest it was often my fault for being neglectful. The whole time I'm with a girl, my head is being turned by other girls I see around town and while I stay faithful I feel like I'm sacrificing the chance to get with all the other girls, and I feel that sacrifice is already enough-and do not put much effort into meeting her needs or making her feel special.

The other thing is that I only feel comfortable in a relationship if the girl is so beautiful she puts other girls to shame. So I've let some really nice and attractive girls go even though I imagine most men would feel lucky to have a girl like that. All because I feel that the only acceptable price for giving up my freedom is the best possible girl I could get. And although Im a regular guy I've always felt I deserve the best in life-so essentially Im holding out for some sort of supermodel.

Because of these attitudes, Im always single, sleeping with a couple of girls at a time and uninterested in any sort of intimacy because for me these girls are just sex toys until I meet a girl who I feel is worth committing too.

But its been changing my thinking a bit. Maybe girls want to sleep with Don Juans but perhaps when it comes to dating and relationships, and especially as they approach their 30s many of them are looking for a guy who will be devoted to them, make the effort to look after them and give their all and appreciate her.

I do enjoy my lifestyle but I feel that the path Ive chosen and the attitudes Ive developed are going to prevent me ever having a successful relationship.

 

[piranha45]

The problem here is that you guys apparently don't know what a DJ is. A DJ is just a man who acts and thinks like a man, rhetorically speaking. He can have 1 lover or thousands, the universal trait of all djs is that they get what they want out of life. It's just a philosophy, supplemented by practical tools of the trade. And no credible source on the issue states that a DJ must continually bang new women.

There are some very noteworthy DJs on this forum who are married, and the fact that they are married makes them no less of a DJ than the perpetual bachelor-playboy DJs. The aspect of the DJ that gets most emphasized in these forums is the lover, but it is one aspect of the DJ mentality all the same.

 

[Aenigma]

The point of spinning plates, for the guys who are not yet DJs, is two-fold.

1. To develop the prize mentality and to reprogram themselves so that they're no longer afflicted with the baggage that comes with so many years of being an AFC/beta. In short- to help you become a "worthy" man who women will want to commit and stay committed to (the latter is the hard part).

2. To realize what women are really like. Its all too easy to get fooled into thinking that a woman/girl is worthy of your time, effort and life long committment when you do not know the true nature of women and how to evaluate them for positive character traits.... in short- ignorance is bliss.

Will you be "alone" in the short term as a result? Well if you have the company of women and friends then you're not really alone- you just haven't comitted to the marriage contract- and nothing is worse then being in a marriage where you're neither loved nor respected. In that situation, you really are alone- and its only a matter of time before you're deprived of your income and property as well...

As for LTRs? There is nothing wrong with them persay- just that most women aren't worthy of committing to in them (the same can be said of many males.... I think both genders have different issues within the same problem- ironically enough).

 

[azanon]

Someone less lazy than me ought to dig up RT's "being alone myth" post. This one comes up a lot, but obviously people aren't reading what's already available.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Piranha,
All of us here,and I am no exception,like to change the persona of Don Juan,into a caricature of ourselves....We even have Ladies on this site,they must manage too,so there you go....As To "And no credible source on the issue states that a DJ must continually bang new women"Oh Piranha you draw a long Bow....What about the Lad himself?sadly even a Nuns cassock wasn't too heavy for him to lift,let alone,brides and their entourage,I think Piranha,if you stood still long enough he would have a crack at you too...

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

perhaps when it comes to dating and relationships, and especially as they approach their 30s many of them are looking for a guy who will be devoted to them, make the effort to look after them and give their all and appreciate her.

In other words, provide for her long term security needs as her sexual marketability declines now that she's had her fun in her party years and needs to cash out of the casino before she can't play anymore.

Let me ask you this Matt, if a woman had the choice between a homely chump so nervous that he might lose the 'dream girl' he finally got that he'll slavishly compromise his own identity, or a reasonably good looking DJ with an enduring self-respect, ambition, solid identity, confidence in the value of his own commodity, who's she going to stay with in the long term? Who's going to have to constantly qualify for her intimacy? Who's attention is more valuable?

And just for the record, "he works hard to keep me happy" is exactly what beautiful women say when their friends ask them what they see in a guy who's an obvious mismatch for their looks. It's the 'shallow / superficial' perception avoidance coping mechanism. It's what the gold digging playboy playmate says about her overweight millionaire husband.

 

[Da Realist]

The problem here is that you guys apparently don't know what a DJ is. A DJ is just a man who acts and thinks like a man, rhetorically speaking. He can have 1 lover or thousands, the universal trait of all djs is that they get what they want out of life. It's just a philosophy, supplemented by practical tools of the trade. And no credible source on the issue states that a DJ must continually bang new women.

There are some very noteworthy DJs on this forum who are married, and the fact that they are married makes them no less of a DJ than the perpetual bachelor-playboy DJs. The aspect of the DJ that gets most emphasized in these forums is the lover, but it is one aspect of the DJ mentality all the same.

I have to agree with you. If there is a section in the DJ Bible about LTR's , then why is it hard to imagine a DJ can't be with one woman?

Rollo:
I know where you're coming from completely, but do you really know enough about the guy to say he's an AFC? When I first started reading the articles, I learned that it's about how you make a woman feel instead of only how you look. One woman I was with told me how in the beginning how it seemed like I would take care of her and how hard I worked to make her happy, but all I really did was make it a point to fun and it just rubbed off. Later I tried the whole getting serious about providing a future thing and she said now I wasn't workng hard enough for her; in other words I wasn't as fun as I used to be. Another got mad at me, ran off to be with some loser who couldn't even compare to me, and then wanted me back. So, from what I've learned is that you don't know if the guy is a desperate chode that just lucked out or a guy who actually knows how to make a woman happy. But really it sounds like Matt is at a crossroad about whether he wants just one or as many as he can get.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Thanks Da Realist I think you are getting where Im coming from. Although how I read it Rollo wasn't accusing me of being an AFC or anything just arguing with my theory that beautiful women are looking for a man who "works hard to make them happy".

Perhaps I should rephrase my post.

I find that I put very little effort into relationships and feel a bit restless because a part of me misses the freedom to see different girls, sleep with different girls etc. Ive met some quality girls who were definitely relationship material but they kept complaining I neglected them or didn't seem that interested.

It is like whenever I have a girl, Im always on the look for something better so my heart is never in a relationship.

Maybe Ill meet a girl one day who Ill actually want to make an effort for. But Ive gone through lots of girls and it hasn't happened.

When I was 18-21 I seemed to find it that much easier to develop feelings for girls.

But now I am cold and for me girls are just a warm body, attractive company or an ego boost.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

When I first started reading the articles, I learned that it's about how you make a woman feel instead of only how you look.

How you look has a profound influence on how a woman feels about you. In fact I could argue that working to stay in shape could be a part of "workng hard enough for her".

I understand that character and confidence are important factors, but don't make the mistake of thinking that the outside isn't representative of the inside. If you want to be your best, this includes looking your best as well.

 

[mrRuckus]

You have an inner game problem if you are passing on girls for the sole reason of wanting to impress people by the hotness of the girl you're with.

 

[Da Realist]

How you look has a profound influence on how a woman feels about you. In fact I could argue that working to stay in shape could be a part of "workng hard enough for her".

I understand that character and confidence are important factors, but don't make the mistake of thinking that the outside isn't representative of the inside. If you want to be your best, this includes looking your best as well.

But how do you know the guy isn't keeping himself up? Matt just said the guy was homely which in this case seems like the guy was just unattractive. I've seen people who wore the best clothes, took care of themselves, and were still ugly. I mean, you can only do so much with a bad canvas. But with some of them, the best feature was that they were cool to be around. As far as what's the fine line between being attractive/unattractive, that's not really what I'm trying to dispute you on because you are right for the most part. My thing is that I have a reasonable doubt about the guy in question. Maybe he is just a puppy dog type guy like Matt is implying or the guy is just that damn good to pull a woman like that.

 

[Da Realist]

Thanks Da Realist I think you are getting where Im coming from. Although how I read it Rollo wasn't accusing me of being an AFC or anything just arguing with my theory that beautiful women are looking for a man who "works hard to make them happy".

Perhaps I should rephrase my post.

I find that I put very little effort into relationships and feel a bit restless because a part of me misses the freedom to see different girls, sleep with different girls etc. Ive met some quality girls who were definitely relationship material but they kept complaining I neglected them or didn't seem that interested.

It is like whenever I have a girl, Im always on the look for something better so my heart is never in a relationship.

Maybe Ill meet a girl one day who Ill actually want to make an effort for. But Ive gone through lots of girls and it hasn't happened.

When I was 18-21 I seemed to find it that much easier to develop feelings for girls.

But now I am cold and for me girls are just a warm body, attractive company or an ego boost.

I didn't think he was calling you an AFC either. I was just saying I didn't know enough about the other guy to label him anything. Now if you came out and said "he did this" or "does that" then I can see what he is like. But back to you. From my point of view you got part of the attitude that most people want to develop: that as good as some women are they can be replaced with someone just a good or better. The downside is that you've let the revolving door become an issue when it doesn't have to be. No one can tell you that you have to settle down with one or to keep raking them in because it's a personal decision. Even the bible thumpers can't tell you settling down is wrong because it's written that it's better to stay away from the opposite sex unless you just can't help it. The thing is that you just have to feel comfortable in what you're going to do or else you're going to start sending mixed messages so that when you do find that woman you want to keep she, won't know whether you're coming or going since you haven't made your intentions clear to even yourself. But also, don't make this into a bigger "problem" than it really is because you'll start questioning whether you "should do something with this woman because she may think I'm in love with her" or "should am I becoming to clingy whith her." Just enjoy yourself in whatever you do and if the right one comes, keep her.

 

[KontrollerX]

"Is the curse of a Don Juan being alone?"

No.

The curse of the Don Juan is being constantly hounded by feminist shaming tactics, haters and crabs in a barrel constantly trying to pull him down when he seeks out ever greater success in his life and relationships that the AFC pvssies that hang around him are too afraid to go and get for themselves.

The curse of the Don Juans who would help struggling AFC's pull themselves off the sh!t pile is to have AFC shaming and cowardice dumped upon them in place of gratitude from the "not in my case" saps that Rollo often speaks about who justify their AFCery chivalrous self defeating non power seeking nature and wear it as a badge of honor whereas smart and intelligent people ie the Don Juans of the world constantly seek power and advantage.

The foolish AFC never realizes that all of his supposedly noble programming has been implanted into him by the powerful of society who have implanted a self defeating non power seeking mindset within him so as to cut down on the amount of competition that is out there seeking their power.

"I do enjoy my lifestyle but I feel that the path Ive chosen and the attitudes Ive developed are going to prevent me ever having a successful relationship."

And the curse of some DJ's on here is they will spend the rest of their lives fighting off or ultimately giving in to the pervasive societal programming and peer pressure they have experienced from birth that says one is only normal and well adjusted and happy if one attaches wedding ring to one's finger and turns over half one's income to wife and signs a legal government contract forming an unstable two person corporation controlled by the federal government that ultimately benefits the woman far more than the man should the corporation ever go under via divorce.

The real curse of the Don Juans of this type is that they'll never stop struggling with the need to be accepted by society and fit into the box society wants to place them in of marriage and family and society is set up with so much pressure on a person that they must take this road or be ostracized or looked at funny for the rest of their lives the Don Juan who is so wrapped up in society's wants for his life rather than his own is mostly focused on eliminating this pressure on his life.

The elimination of that societal pressure is what he really wants more than to be married and have children but he is so confused by society's many brainwashing messages he interprets this want as a true want all his own but if he looks deeper into his life and his true desires he often realizes that freedom, having a variety of women and persuing his passions and hobbies is far more desired by him and is what he the person, the man really desires most of all, all along oh but the shaming of society is oh so pervasive making him question himself.

Immature, Peter Pan, Little boy that needs to grow up, bitter, jaded, misogynist, woman hater and on and on the shrill shaming goes on shrieking out from the feminist's mouths and the mouths of males who lost their testosterone along with their balls long ago.

Yes the feminists and their emasculated male enablers will ramble on and on about how you will die old and alone to walk the DJ path but they speak with a warped view on life filled with half truths.

Kurt Cobain had it right with his song lyrics "all alone is all we are".

We are born alone and we die alone.

Whether family is present by our side at our deaths, whether a wife or girlfriend clutches our hand (or more likely our wallets in this day and age) as we pass from this world or whether we die in a ditch we ultimately at the end of the day die alone.

The shamers also conveniently leave out the very real possibility that as you and your sweety age she may luck out and trade you in for a younger model that wants her wrinkled carcass for whatever reason or she may die of old age on you rather than be around to help you live out your golden years or she may die in an accident etc.

In life there is no permaneance.

So ultimately all the shaming does is work to serve the feminine goal of making men desire marriage and family which ultimately always benefits women more than men so long as we have the retarded laws we have that give almost all the benefits to women if a marriage goes wrong or if she decides to end it after a certain specified time period in order to be set up for life financially for the rest of her life on your dime.

The concept of marriage is alright in and of itself, its just the laws that go with it that make it a bad idea to get into in western society.

To get back to the main point though we are all truly alone in this world no matter how many friends or family love and care for us, we are all truly alone so when you take apart the shaming and examine it piece by piece it is not at all a sound argument for men to get married to avoid growing old alone and this particular shaming is simply agenda driven feminist rubbish.

Getting married and having the marriage as goal mindset does not absolutely 100% guarantee you a partner for life and even if you are of the mindset well I'll just get married to someone else if my current wife dies you are still simply serving the feminist agenda of benefitting a single woman instead of benefitting yourself the man with a variety of women and a fun hassle free life.

"I prefer one woman"

You have no game.

"I'm not like other guys"

You have no game and you fear rejection.

"I don't want to be alone"

You miss your mommy and aren't quite ready to grow up. I understand. Visit your mom if she's still alive and say hi for me.

"Oh no I like living alone just fine but I'd like a companion to share my life with!"

Buy a dog or get a cat.

A well conditioned AFC might also respond "Well I don't need or want a variety of women" to which can be replied "What red blooded heterosexual male on this planet would not like to have a variety of hot young women to bone at his beck and call?"

To which the well conditioned AFC would reply: "Not me, I'm the exception to the rule!"

No sir. If you are actually being honest (doubtful) you lack significant amounts of testosterone, otherwise you don't have any game and fear rejection or secretly bat for the other team so which is it?

In anycase to close out marriage comes with ridiculous festivals as opposed to watching a football game on Saturday or Sunday or playing videogames, with marriage comes visiting the in laws, family gatherings, watching chick flicks, decrease in sex, comfortable complacency in both parties that works at taking away the desire for sex, fighting over money and how much each of you can or should spend and massive loss of your free time that could be better served being utilized for that dream job you are hoping to get ie your passion in life etc.

So ultimately the curse of some Don Juans is not really knowing themselves and getting past the brainwashing.

Do you really want a marriage and a family or a long term relationship or do you only want those things because you want the pressure of societal expectation to be lifted off your shoulders?

Its a really important question for each guy here to ask themselves that feel plagued by the shaming that they supposedly need to be in a marriage or relationship at a certain point or the world is just going to end for them and the sky will fall oh no!!! :crackup: