Is she trying to make me jealous?!

[alvinkels]

I just started a new job couple months ago. There is this coworker that caught my attention. She kinda cute but after observing her from afar I realized I don't want to date her and also I didn't want to indulge in any office romantic drama and from my observation she will be very dramatic and possibly had some childhood trauma (because of her attention seeking behavior). She is your typical office girl who draws attention every way possible through make ups, lip sticks and nails and clothes. The thing is the guys in the office may not understand the things she does and think that it is normal but I understand why she is acting that way. She is the girls that wants to please and wants to be liked by everyone possible and thinks it is a good thing. She comes in the morning and hugs couple of guys, some give her compliments, she goes to lunch with some and those stuffs ( you get the picture). I on the other hand who knows "best" no to deal with such women no matter how attractive they are. I don't indulge her much; basically if she does say good morning to me I respond and I just go about my day. Lately for the past few weeks she hardly says good morning to me and I don't care I am mostly buried in my laptop even though I notice everything happening around ( open office).
I have noticed that she doesn't seem to intrigued about me as she used to and she kinda doing things go get at me. I have experience this with some girls and the end up in my bed telling me all these tactics. My recent encounter did these dramas for like 2 yrrs until for an opportune moment when we were alone and she told me how she felt about me and I asked that's why she has been dramatic all this while and she nodded, we made out 3 times that week. So yeah I know this behaviors of girls. But this one is different because it is a work place and I see for like 5 days in week it is becoming overwhelming. I am not bothered though I am controlling myself to stay sane, and I might quit the job in near future.

This morning she came around my desk talked to my guys touched them and all that but never said anything to me. I didn't look her direction anyways I was buried in laptop as always. I and this is not the first time she has done that. Like last week a close friend of her at work and I were engaging a lot because she was by desk that week and I realized she became very engaging with the guys around her desk. I have laid out some few test cases in the past few weeks just to gather some data and I realized she she kinda paying attention to me.

I don't want to jump into conclusions and say that she is into me and or trying to make me jealousy that's why I am reaching to you guys to help throw more light on my situation. Thank you in advance.

 

[SW15]

I just started a new job couple months ago.

Good for you! It's not easy to get a white collar office job right now. Hiring in the white collar space is rather slow.

There is this coworker that caught my attention. She kinda cute but after observing her from afar I realized I don't want to date her and also I didn't want to indulge in any office romantic drama and from my observation she will be very dramatic and possibly had some childhood trauma (because of her attention seeking behavior).

In many white collar jobs, it's possible to have an attractive female co-worker. You're fortunate that this co-worker is only "kinda cute".

I have had "cute" range co-workers over the years but rarely ever someone in the "hot" range (7.5+ on the 1-10 scale). It's easy to pass on someone "kinda cute" but with clear mental issues that would affect how good of a girlfriend she would be. There was one co-worker I had a past job who fit that description too.

Someone would have to be an exceptional prospect for me to want to date within my own company. I prefer to keep my dating life separate from my work life. It makes life easier that way.

With that said, there are 2 things you can do in general.

1. Be on friendly terms with cute to hot female co-workers and hope they can provide you social circle introductions to their cute to hot friends who work elsewhere.

2. Keep your distance and try to make a romantic move when you quit the job or when she quits. If either you or her quit with a small period of notice, there's a window for this to happen. If you get laid off/fired and she remains at the company, she's not going to be interested in the unemployed version of you. If she gets laid off/fired and you remain, you would not care about her unemployed status and you could contact her for a date too. She might not be a good frame of mind to date while she's unemployed though. Option 2 is probably the more realistic play.

She is your typical office girl who draws attention every way possible through make ups, lip sticks and nails and clothes.

She is the girls that wants to please and wants to be liked by everyone possible and thinks it is a good thing. She comes in the morning and hugs couple of guys, some give her compliments, she goes to lunch with some and those stuffs ( you get the picture).

This morning she came around my desk talked to my guys touched them and all that but never said anything to me. I didn't look her direction anyways I was buried in laptop as always. Like last week a close friend of her at work and I were engaging a lot because she was by desk that week and I realized she became very engaging with the guys around her desk. I have laid out some few test cases in the past few weeks just to gather some data and I realized she she kinda paying attention to me.

I don't want to jump into conclusions and say that she is into me and or trying to make me jealousy that's why I am reaching to you guys to help throw more light on my situation.

I don't think she is a typical office female. The offices where I have worked over the years (have been working white collar for ~15 years) have had mainly non-sexual type environments. I can't think of any female co-workers I had who made a big effort to emphasize their sexuality while at work.

You are behaving the right way. Keep things all about work with her. It doesn't matter if she's trying to make you jealous. Don't engage with her in any way besides work.

The thing is the guys in the office may not understand the things she does and think that it is normal but I understand why she is acting that way.

You have red pill awareness. Most men have a blue pill ideology regarding romantic interactions.

 

[alvinkels]

Thanks Brotherman. I keep it professional and not indulge. The thing is I am kinda a superior but not direct supervisor. I seek out projects and I give to her boss before she gets a task I am kind of a "line manager" I am after the cxo. The thing I have closed of my mind in any way romantic towards. And even if I would consider dating her why will date someone who comes to seeks attention from guys, trying to fit into social crowd and trying to do things to be accepted by others.( Yes I pay attention to people's a lot). I would go for someone who is more mature and doesn't have baggages. I had an encounter with sometime ago because I had given her nickname on first she was introduced to me as an I inter for **** hence I mostly refer to as small ***
But as I was saying she asked if that's what her other colleagues are calling and I shouldn't mind them and I said you were introduced to me as and intern for *** hence small ****. Now you see if she is not attention and thinks that probably I check her out hence I am talking to the other guys about her she wouldn't have thought that. I am trying to be narcissistic and manipulative but I pay attention to people around especially they are new to me. As child the only keep with bullies was study them and know what to say that will hurt them. Hence I paid a lot of attention to things and I still have that skill up to today. I can smell bs like a shark smelling blood and good with words.

So yeah I am not interested her even if anything just one night stand but is the worth the squeeze?? In my book that's no. So even if I leave and in the near future I see her it will be hi-hi nothing fancy. Like 5 yrs 10 yrs from now just as we today hi-hi that's how it will be. I don't like to complicate things in my life. But what I am going to do is will probably kill her soul. That her I talked about I am gonna keep around for a while and lavish her life and I know she will hear of it. Oh man!! I don't want to see her face and know she feels. I am kinda be sadist sometimes. I enjoying manipulating who think they can get at me for no reason I was doing it since childhood. It is going to be fun. I will you guys updated.