davelmn2003
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2003
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For those of you who know my situation, yes, I'm talking about the same girl. Here is a little BACKGROUND:
About 3 weeks ago, I and Girl went out on 2 dates (having met earlier at a club when she came on to me, grinded, kissed me on the lips and neck, and kinoed me). Anyway, I admit that the conversations didn't go very well, I think, but on both dates, we went to my place as well as her place. No sex, but we made out big time, kissing for a long while as well as held hands and locked fingers.
Now, we set up a third date. I forgot to call her on Tuesday (for a Sunday date), so I called on Friday, no one answered the phone. Called on Saturday night, no one answered. Called on Sunday morning and afternoon--busy signals mixed with no answer. I know I know, I shouldn't have called so many times...
Anyway, I "bumped" into her on Monday and she said she went to visit her grandparents and said sorry. We set up another date on the coming weekend. And I also got her e-mail that day. Called on Tuesday. No one answered. Stopped calling. Sent her an e-mail on Tuesday night. On Wednesday morning, she e-mailed back, talking about the date and stuff, and said she would definitely call me on Thursday at a specific time. Closed the message calling me "cutie" (btw she also had been telling me how handsome I am on our dates, even in French)
So I thought it was all good. On Thursday night, phone rang. It was not Girl, but Girl's roommate, telling me that Girl would be busy with her exams and then with her trip abroad (which she mentioned to me before) but said she would go on a date with me after the trip (like in July).
PROBLEM:
I absolutely couldn't figure out why, with all her seeming high level of interest, would she do this (the only things I could think of were my phone calls, which stopped before I bumped into her and her e-mail). I panicked and e-mailed her (after a few days) and asked if her roommate spoke for her and whether she still wanted to hang out with me. No response. About a week and a half later, waited for her on her way to school (we walk the same route, there is only one way to get there). We talked, and she still had that shy, high IL look, and we set up an action dates (previous dates involved dinners and going to drink) on Sunday (girls' night out on Friday and a party on Saturday for her). I wanted to see her in person because I suspected her roomate was trying to sabotage us. This was Friday morning. Saturday afternoon, she sent me a short e-mail, saying "unfortunately" she had to cancel "our date" and "sorry" and that she was a "horrible person". She closed with "later"
I decided not to contact her again, but then again, I bulged. 1 week later, my reflections told me that I wasn't bold enough on our dates, because I didn't go in for the sex and she thought I wasn't a "sexual" enough person. So I gave her a call--answering machine picked it up. I left a message saying hello and wishing her good luck on finals. Later I sent her an e-mail saying something like, "why don't you come over this Friday night at 8:00 pm" and I would have some snacks at my place and we would have a lot of fun this time. No response. After two days, I decided that it was over, and I realized I was too up front, too rash, perhaps too rude. So I wrote her an e-mail saying that I realized she didn't want to see me and that I hoped she would remember not as a horrible person but as the fun-loving dancer that she first saw me.
That was two weeks ago. I never contacted her again. It was only after all these stupidities that I found out from this site that women may pull back!
QUESTIONS:
(1) Do you think that INITIALLY, after the first two dates,
a) she thought we were going too quickly and wanted to pull back?
b) she was scared by my frequent phone calls on that weekend and decided that it was finished (not simply pull back)? (I called often because I judged she had high interest level and because I thought she was mad that I forgot to call her as I promised, which her friend suggested might be the case; also, I decided if she had high interest, why wouldn't she just pick the damned phone up, for once!?)
(2) Why did she agree to go on that action date (sports) after all my supposedly silly phone calls and after her friend said Girl was going to be busy? (the manner in which she agreed was this: I asked her about her plans for the weekend and she told me about Friday and Saturday in some details---like which of her girlfriends she'd go out with etc. but said she had no plans on Sunday--So I said "I'll make plans"...and she agreed to go out. Fearing she would hide behinds her phones, I made this date very specific: date, time, activity. I gave her an easy way out: I asked if I needed to call before I went over to pick her up. She said "no, you can come over to my place".) WTF, she could have said, no I have plans for Sunday or Yeah, call me before you come and then she could hide behind her phone...that's why I thought it was all her friend's BS that Girl was busy)
(3) When we both come back from our summer trips (I'm traveling too), will she come back to me? Do you think she's still thinking about me or perhaps wondering why I really stopped calling her for real now?
(Finally) Is she STILL pulling back or is this whole thing over? Or did she try to pull back and then I, being impatient or panicky, screwed it up and now it really is over?
THANKS for reading this long post. Please help me analysize the situation. I have since gone out to clubs and danced with other girls, but I still am thinking about Girl.
About 3 weeks ago, I and Girl went out on 2 dates (having met earlier at a club when she came on to me, grinded, kissed me on the lips and neck, and kinoed me). Anyway, I admit that the conversations didn't go very well, I think, but on both dates, we went to my place as well as her place. No sex, but we made out big time, kissing for a long while as well as held hands and locked fingers.
Now, we set up a third date. I forgot to call her on Tuesday (for a Sunday date), so I called on Friday, no one answered the phone. Called on Saturday night, no one answered. Called on Sunday morning and afternoon--busy signals mixed with no answer. I know I know, I shouldn't have called so many times...
Anyway, I "bumped" into her on Monday and she said she went to visit her grandparents and said sorry. We set up another date on the coming weekend. And I also got her e-mail that day. Called on Tuesday. No one answered. Stopped calling. Sent her an e-mail on Tuesday night. On Wednesday morning, she e-mailed back, talking about the date and stuff, and said she would definitely call me on Thursday at a specific time. Closed the message calling me "cutie" (btw she also had been telling me how handsome I am on our dates, even in French)
So I thought it was all good. On Thursday night, phone rang. It was not Girl, but Girl's roommate, telling me that Girl would be busy with her exams and then with her trip abroad (which she mentioned to me before) but said she would go on a date with me after the trip (like in July).
PROBLEM:
I absolutely couldn't figure out why, with all her seeming high level of interest, would she do this (the only things I could think of were my phone calls, which stopped before I bumped into her and her e-mail). I panicked and e-mailed her (after a few days) and asked if her roommate spoke for her and whether she still wanted to hang out with me. No response. About a week and a half later, waited for her on her way to school (we walk the same route, there is only one way to get there). We talked, and she still had that shy, high IL look, and we set up an action dates (previous dates involved dinners and going to drink) on Sunday (girls' night out on Friday and a party on Saturday for her). I wanted to see her in person because I suspected her roomate was trying to sabotage us. This was Friday morning. Saturday afternoon, she sent me a short e-mail, saying "unfortunately" she had to cancel "our date" and "sorry" and that she was a "horrible person". She closed with "later"
I decided not to contact her again, but then again, I bulged. 1 week later, my reflections told me that I wasn't bold enough on our dates, because I didn't go in for the sex and she thought I wasn't a "sexual" enough person. So I gave her a call--answering machine picked it up. I left a message saying hello and wishing her good luck on finals. Later I sent her an e-mail saying something like, "why don't you come over this Friday night at 8:00 pm" and I would have some snacks at my place and we would have a lot of fun this time. No response. After two days, I decided that it was over, and I realized I was too up front, too rash, perhaps too rude. So I wrote her an e-mail saying that I realized she didn't want to see me and that I hoped she would remember not as a horrible person but as the fun-loving dancer that she first saw me.
That was two weeks ago. I never contacted her again. It was only after all these stupidities that I found out from this site that women may pull back!
QUESTIONS:
(1) Do you think that INITIALLY, after the first two dates,
a) she thought we were going too quickly and wanted to pull back?
b) she was scared by my frequent phone calls on that weekend and decided that it was finished (not simply pull back)? (I called often because I judged she had high interest level and because I thought she was mad that I forgot to call her as I promised, which her friend suggested might be the case; also, I decided if she had high interest, why wouldn't she just pick the damned phone up, for once!?)
(2) Why did she agree to go on that action date (sports) after all my supposedly silly phone calls and after her friend said Girl was going to be busy? (the manner in which she agreed was this: I asked her about her plans for the weekend and she told me about Friday and Saturday in some details---like which of her girlfriends she'd go out with etc. but said she had no plans on Sunday--So I said "I'll make plans"...and she agreed to go out. Fearing she would hide behinds her phones, I made this date very specific: date, time, activity. I gave her an easy way out: I asked if I needed to call before I went over to pick her up. She said "no, you can come over to my place".) WTF, she could have said, no I have plans for Sunday or Yeah, call me before you come and then she could hide behind her phone...that's why I thought it was all her friend's BS that Girl was busy)
(3) When we both come back from our summer trips (I'm traveling too), will she come back to me? Do you think she's still thinking about me or perhaps wondering why I really stopped calling her for real now?
(Finally) Is she STILL pulling back or is this whole thing over? Or did she try to pull back and then I, being impatient or panicky, screwed it up and now it really is over?
THANKS for reading this long post. Please help me analysize the situation. I have since gone out to clubs and danced with other girls, but I still am thinking about Girl.
