Is she playing games with me?

[Crimson]

Hi guys.

A girl at my work has been showing a lot of interest since I started there such as always coming to talk to me, touching me, laughing at my jokes, strong eye contact, flirting etc.
The problem is she has a boyfriend that she keeps being on and off with. Well that's what I've overheard cause she sits right beside me.
I've tried ignoring her for a while because it seems like she's just wasting my time looking for attention but it's obviously hard because where we sit.

Thing is it's started to affect me, maybe because it's been going on for so long or it's a case of wanting what you can't have. She's not really that attractive either which bothers me even more because I know I could have her easily if her boy wasn't in the picture.
I have other girls I'm talking to as well and one that I'm having sex with but it doesn't seem to help.

Basically any advice from you guys with more experience and a different mindset on how to deal with it considering it's almost impossible to ignore her.

Cheers.

 

[AttackFormation]

Hey bro, welcome to SS.

I would advice you but you didn't make it clear what you actually want, so I don't know what to say.

 

[Crimson]

Hey bro, welcome to SS.

I would advice you but you didn't make it clear what you actually want, so I don't know what to say.

Hi man thanks for the welcome.
Part of me wants to get with her part of me doesn't because it feels like she's using me for attention.
Don't know if I should just man up and say to her why is she being so flirty with me when she's got a boyfriend or if I should just ignore it.
It's just bugging me how she's showing so much interest but I can't have her.
I'm sure I'm better off just avoiding her and the hassle but not sure how to stop her flirting with me so much when she sits right beside me. Do I just not respond to her as much and come off as ignorant or be straight with her?
If we weren't working together I would've already asked her out when she was single but they say never **** where you eat.
How would you suggest I go about cutting down contact with her since I see her every day and it's always her initiating?

 

[SgtSplacker]

Girls in the workplace often will cut back interest if things get too overt. Also the on and off thing supports she is that kinda girl. Most i'd do is drop a hint. Let her know where you might be on a certain night just to see if she meets you out there or something casual like that. I definitely would do nothing to let her know you are interested. After that if she gets flirty i'd just keep talking about how much fun you had that night and that she should have been there.

 

[SW15]

If this is a job you actually care about, forget her. If you have a white collar office job, doubly forget about her. Dating co-workers is a bad idea in white collar office jobs. If you had a low wage service sector job, it'd be fine. The difference with white collar office jobs is that interview processes for them are longer and more painful. Also, no one is hiring in white collar right now. You need to be quite vigilant in protecting your job.

If you must use your workplace to date, the idea should be to date women at other companies within the same building.

 

[bcude]

^^ What Stringpuller said

I would suggest to stay away from sh1tting where you eat and just fvck with her (not literally) by bringing up her bf and that she should stay far away from me because i'm bad news etc. and flip the script.
The worst thing you can do is to get emotionally involved in someone who only wants your male attention anyway.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If this is a job you actually care about, forget her. If you have a white collar office job, doubly forget about her. Dating co-workers is a bad idea in white collar office jobs. If you had a low wage service sector job, it'd be fine. The difference with white collar office jobs is that interview processes for them are longer and more painful. Also, no one is hiring in white collar right now. You need to be quite vigilant in protecting your job.

If you must use your workplace to date, the idea should be to date women at other companies within the same building.

^^ What Stringpuller said

I would suggest to stay away from sh1tting where you eat and just fvck with her (not literally) by bringing up her bf and that she should stay far away from me because i'm bad news etc. and flip the script.
The worst thing you can do is to get emotionally involved in someone who only wants your male attention anyway.

Very good idea of dating women in different companies in same building or complex.

 

[Crimson]

I actually was given a promotion so I'll be moving to a different department but because of the coronavirus the move has been put on hold. That's why I was thinking about making a move since the fallout won't follow me over.
It's just the uncertainty of what she really feels because of her actions that is leaving me wondering.
There is another girl there who is flirty with me as well and I've caught the main girl watching us a couple times. After that she goes distant for a while sometimes which I'm actually kinda glad of. Then she starts up again.
I'll try to flip the script with her as you guys have suggested, also try to cut down contact with her and focus on other things instead of dwelling on it and see what happens.

Thanks to everyone who replied.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Hi man thanks for the welcome.
Part of me wants to get with her part of me doesn't because it feels like she's using me for attention.
Don't know if I should just man up and say to her why is she being so flirty with me when she's got a boyfriend or if I should just ignore it.
It's just bugging me how she's showing so much interest but I can't have her.
I'm sure I'm better off just avoiding her and the hassle but not sure how to stop her flirting with me so much when she sits right beside me. Do I just not respond to her as much and come off as ignorant or be straight with her?
If we weren't working together I would've already asked her out when she was single but they say never **** where you eat.
How would you suggest I go about cutting down contact with her since I see her every day and it's always her initiating?

Strange that this bothers you. Maybe you're letting your ego get the best of you. Next time she says something really flirty I'd teasingly say something like"yeah too bad you have a bf, otherwise we'd have such a good time". I'd keep teasing her with a good time when she flirts and eventually she'll say something like "well we're on a break rn" and there ya go, free pass. Next words out of my mouth would be "sounds like we should check out that stairwell by the empty offices at lunch". Keep escalating and teasing until she's ruining her panting and putty in my hands.

 

[Robert28]

If a woman displays this type of behavior but isn’t giving you sex, then YES, she is most definitely playing games with you. I’ve had women act like this and fvck my brains out on the second date, I’ve also had women act like this and make all the excuses on the world and put up countless roadblocks to me having sex with her.

 

[Kotaix]

Do NOT have sex with a coworker like her. If you know about her problems with her bf just from her talking about every day life, everyone is going to know about all the problems she has with you if you hook up with her. You can't trust people like her, period.

She's trying to provoke you, plain and simple. My guess is that she is attracted to you, but she's def playing power games. You will always have power over her if you never validate her sexuality.

 

[Crimson]

Do NOT have sex with a coworker like her. If you know about her problems with her bf just from her talking about every day life, everyone is going to know about all the problems she has with you if you hook up with her. You can't trust people like her, period.

She's trying to provoke you, plain and simple. My guess is that she is attracted to you, but she's def playing power games. You will always have power over her if you never validate her sexuality.

Yeah that's true. She talks **** about people behind their back to me so I know for a fact she would be doing the same with others about me.
Definitely seems like a lot of hassle.

 

[SW15]

Very good idea of dating women in different companies in same building or complex.

During the course of my career, I have worked in multiple buildings with 10+ floors. When a building has 10+ floors, there are usually enough tenant companies in them that employ some attractive women. Approaching women in other companies in the same building is a time saver if done well. If something goes bad in that, you really don't have to see her every day. It has no impact on your own employment status either.

 

[Robert28]

File a sexual hatrassment complaint on her with HR. Not kidding. She will eventually do it to you, might as well do it to her. They have to take you seriously because if they don’t you could be sitting on a discrimination lawsuit. Just tell them she’s making inappropriate comments in the workplace to you.