Alright, so I know this girl who's giving me mixed signals. So far, whenver I use kino on her, she doesn't react negatively to it and she doesn't pull back and say "don't touch me". She also holds prolonged periods of eye contact and I feel as if she is attracted to me. She also laughs and smiles everytime I tell her one of my stories. But, she's also outright told me that she thinks I'm gay and other people have told me that she's scared of me. She also looks really nervous sometimes when I'm alone with her and ends up walking away before I can even ask her out. From the looks of it, it seems as if she's never gone out with a guy before and she actually seems scared of relationships. I've never been in a situation of this type before, so I was wondering what I should do about it. Anyone have any advice?
Is she interested?
- Thread starter ice_cream
- Start date
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
She thinks your gay? You might need to tell more about that because that's not good if she really does think your gay. That's the ultimate downer from a girl you want to have sex with.
I believe she was just "kidding" about that, she said I was gay and started nitpicking about certain things I said or certain things I do and says "only a gat guy would do that", which doesn't make much sense to me. I'm surprised that she paid so much attention to that kind of stuff anyway. I personally thinks she's just uncomfortable with guys and is afraid of relationships. So I was just wondering if anyone has met a girl like this before and what I should do about it.
Sophomakhos
Don Juan
You know what I think? I think that when she says that you're gay, she is expecting you to go on the defensive, because that's what Joe Bloggs (or John Doe if you're American) out on the street would do. Now I don't know too much about your circumstances, but from the sound of it, you get along comfortably enough with this girl. Anyway, here's what I would do.
Her: Come on, you're so gay!
Him: There's something that gay guys just don't do though.
Her: Oh, what's that then?
[he gradually reaches out to her shoulder, moves closer while pulling her in, runs his arm around and down to the small of her back, then gives a light kiss. Banking on the possibility that she doesn't recoil, he breaks off the kiss when she's starting to enjoy it]
He: They don't do that very often.
Then take it from there. From what I've seen she sounds ready for it. But like I say, I don't know all the details. It would be quite unexpected to go on the offensive like that, and it would in my opinion tip the balance in your favour.
But hey, what does everyone else think?
Her: Come on, you're so gay!
Him: There's something that gay guys just don't do though.
Her: Oh, what's that then?
[he gradually reaches out to her shoulder, moves closer while pulling her in, runs his arm around and down to the small of her back, then gives a light kiss. Banking on the possibility that she doesn't recoil, he breaks off the kiss when she's starting to enjoy it]
He: They don't do that very often.
Then take it from there. From what I've seen she sounds ready for it. But like I say, I don't know all the details. It would be quite unexpected to go on the offensive like that, and it would in my opinion tip the balance in your favour.
But hey, what does everyone else think?
GrandMaster
Don Juan
tease the girl.
be the prize.
do as if she we're trying to pick you up.
"ok. you are doing quite well. I think it's time to allow you to take me out."
but flow with the situation. if she's really shy, then this stuff aint gonna work. she's going to think you're an arrogant ass hole.
just go. "hey I think we should go out sometime. I'm free on thursday and friday, what works better for you? "
notice how you don't ask "do u wanna go out?" but I assume that she wants and it's only a matter of finding a time when both are free.
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What's more fun than playing the game?
be the prize.
do as if she we're trying to pick you up.
"ok. you are doing quite well. I think it's time to allow you to take me out."
but flow with the situation. if she's really shy, then this stuff aint gonna work. she's going to think you're an arrogant ass hole.
just go. "hey I think we should go out sometime. I'm free on thursday and friday, what works better for you? "
notice how you don't ask "do u wanna go out?" but I assume that she wants and it's only a matter of finding a time when both are free.
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What's more fun than playing the game?
Actually, the main problem is that I can't seem to ever be alone with her, when I do talk with her, I'm always around with her and her friends. I try to get her alone but she always seems to walk away and she kinda gets uncomfortable and nervous when I'm alone with her. So it's difficult to do anything since her friends are usually always around. So any advice you guys have on this matter? Thanks for the input so far. 
Just to update the situation, this girl still reacts will to kino and she is starting to be really nice to me (suspecting I might be getting into the friend zone here). She stops calling me gay and weird and talks with me a lot more often and is all around more friendly. Now, this situation is screaming “grab your balls and go for it”. I may have tried to ask her out well over a dozen times but I keep getting ****** **** blocked. This is starting to get ridiculous. I’m not ever really alone with her for more than 10 seconds. Every time I try to get alone with her and talk, her friends are always around, they come in at convenient times and try to get me away from her. One of my good friends (who I know her through) is also friends with her for a long time and he deliberately (it was too obvious) tried to get me away from her and kept me from being in the same room alone with her. I don’t think he likes her, but it seems like he was trying to block me off. (Bros before hoes right?). I’m pretty sure he somehow knows that I like her and it seems like he doesn’t want anything happening. This has happened way too many times to be a coincidence. And also, all of her friends and this guy have been good friends with her for years now and they’re in a tight “social network” or something. I’m almost 100% positive something’s up. I’m sure she knows I have some interest in her and from all my past experiences and from reading this site, I’m pretty sure she has some interest in me. I know I have to make a move soon or everything will go up in smoke but every time I try and make a move, something always comes up. I’ve never had this happen before, as in my own friend tries to block me off. I’ve been blocked off so many times I’m tempted to just move on. Anyone have any advice on this matter???
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
Sounds like your friend doesn't want to see you get with her. If you guys are competitive in other things, this might not be any different from his point of view. He doesn't want to see you get someone you want and be 'successful'. Maybe because he doesn't have anyone?
Don't try to force the issue. Now is a good time to step out and be indifferent. This will draw her out more if she really does like you and want to be alone with you too. Keep yourself busy with other things and for gawds sake stop that kino stuff! It can come across as desparate.
Don't try to force the issue. Now is a good time to step out and be indifferent. This will draw her out more if she really does like you and want to be alone with you too. Keep yourself busy with other things and for gawds sake stop that kino stuff! It can come across as desparate.
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
Your problem is not that she thinks your are homosexual; the problem is that she sees you as asexual, she cannot feel sexual feelings, so you are sinking into the friends zone.
That's what I was afraid of. I think she really is scared of relationships or something and perhaps isn't looking for one. Or she is afraid to have feelings for other guys. That's just the vibe I get. Her friends really don't make the situation better either.
You said it pal: you need to make a move soon or everything is going to go up in smoke.
If you don't ask her out soon, not only will she think you are gay, but I will begin think you are gay too.
Look for a chance to talk to her. It sounds like you are comforable talking to her, thats great. Just keep talking to her. Keep her laughing and keep the convo going. Hopefully others will get bored and leave. Ask her questions, get her talking for a while. If all this fails, for chryst's sake just write her a fvcking note and ask her out. I'm pretty sure she'll say yes.
If she calls you gay again, just say:
"I'm not gay" (grab her hand and look deep into her eyes) and say, "Do you want me to prove it to you?" <------ That, my friend, boasts confidence and will have her following you around like a puppy dog.
If you don't ask her out soon, not only will she think you are gay, but I will begin think you are gay too.
Look for a chance to talk to her. It sounds like you are comforable talking to her, thats great. Just keep talking to her. Keep her laughing and keep the convo going. Hopefully others will get bored and leave. Ask her questions, get her talking for a while. If all this fails, for chryst's sake just write her a fvcking note and ask her out. I'm pretty sure she'll say yes.
If she calls you gay again, just say:
"I'm not gay" (grab her hand and look deep into her eyes) and say, "Do you want me to prove it to you?" <------ That, my friend, boasts confidence and will have her following you around like a puppy dog.
smoke city
Don Juan
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that seems a little melodramatic. you don't have to prove anything to the girl, and let her KNOW that. better to say something like "you STILL think i'm gay? well -- then you've been missing out on some real fun, haven't you? too bad!"
let her know you don't give a damn.
and by the way -- i get this sort of thing a lot...lots of girls have told me they "thought i was gay." I ended up sleeping with nearly ALL of them.
usually if a girl asks or comes to the conclusion that you're gay, then that means she''s angry. and using that concept of you to explain why you're not asking her out.
but by all means she does want you to ask her out. And take the aggresor stand as a man.
but by all means she does want you to ask her out. And take the aggresor stand as a man.