Is she getting interested again?

[Q-Boy]

I've been doing all AFC mistakes with this girl, and as a result she distanced herself from me.

I almost did all clingyness mistakes and went from confident to loving little *****.

Whenever we texted, I used to text 100 times more then she did. Like giving 2 replies to her 1 text, and so on.

And she got 100% rude and cold towards me, always bringing up fights with me, and always giving me rude answers to every single thing i said to her.

However, after getting alot of advices, i started pulling back as much as I could do. Still kept contacting her but started showing a little less interest then before. While talking in texting, replied in one text to her one text. Kept quite, and improved a little bit.

So I am seeing some difference in her, she has started to tease me again and call me by pet names, like she used to do. She is no more rude to me.

We even went on date after a long time and it went cool, she was acting 100% interested in me, just same as she used to be.

I have noticed this:-

1- She's no more rude
2- When we talk, she act interested and even tell me her stuff, ask me questions and all.
3- She banters alot now.
4- She is not acting as annoyed, like she started acting in the past.

That's the positive side of now, and the only bad thing left is that she is still giving me very less time, but when ever she gives, she gives quality time. We do not talk as much as we used to do and she still stay's busy most of the time. How should I respond to this situation and is it hopeless?

So does that somewhere means that I've still a chance with her again? Please tell and is the situation improving?

 

[Maximus Rex]

It means that she's a little insecure about whether or not you're going to continue to be her little b*tch. Once she's figure out that you still like her, she'll go back to being on her bullsh*t. Remember that old pimpin' proverb, "How you start with a b*tch, is how you end with a b*tch."

 

[PlayHer Man]

Once you reach a point where you FEAR losing the woman you have already lost the game. It doesn't matter if she "comes back" or you play PUA mind games with her. As long as you are less willing to walk away then she is... you have almost no leverage and you are the woman in the relationship. PERIOD.

I'm very harsh when I give advice and I call men faggots all the time. There is a reason for this --> If you can't stomach what I say.. you'll get emotionally raped by most women.

Women have a strong disdain for male weakness. Insecurity, neediness and co-dependency make them lose attraction and respect. It won't always make them leave.. but it will make them treat you like a beta b!tch.

Women's cold, uncaring and unsympathetic attitude towards male weakness is the very reason they are not worth bonding with or opening up to IMO. They use their knowledge of your weaknesses for their own benefit to control you later. You must remain stronger and more emotionally detached from them for the entire duration of the relationship to keep their "love and respect" for any length of time. And even then.. there are no guarantees.

Women are very honest and sympathetic in relationships that lack a sexual nature. But once she is f*cking you she expects you to be Superman otherwise she either loses interest or becomes abusive and disrespectful later.

This is why I say spin plates, stop looking for a soul mate and invest your emotional energy and resources into something more reliable than a woman.

 

[JoeMarron]

Women's cold, uncaring and unsympathetic attitude towards male weakness is the very reason they are not worth bonding with or opening up to IMO. They use their knowledge of your weaknesses for their own benefit to control you later. You must remain stronger and more emotionally detached from them for the entire duration of the relationship to keep their "love and respect" for any length of time. And even then.. there are no guarantees.

I've disagreed with you on this issue in the past but this post makes a lot of sense. Men would be better off bonding and opening up with family, and male close friends. I still think that its ok to bond with the right woman but something needs to be held back at all times. A man should save all his gooey emotional sh!t with people he isn't fvcking. I think this is part of the reason why many men fail to maintain attraction in relationships. They pour all of their emotions onto their girl when they should be saving it for people who'll be sympathetic to it. When the relationship finally ends they fall apart because the only person that they bonded with emotionally is gone.

 

[dajinn]

I've disagreed with you on this issue in the past but this post makes a lot of sense. Men would be better off bonding and opening up with family, and male close friends. I still think that its ok to bond with the right woman but something needs to be held back at all times. A man should save all his gooey emotional sh!t with people he isn't fvcking. I think this is part of the reason why many men fail to maintain attraction in relationships. They pour all of their emotions onto their girl when they should be saving it for people who'll be sympathetic to it. When the relationship finally ends they fall apart because the only person that they bonded with emotionally is gone.

This is an interesting subject that I'm finding myself being in agreeance with both from PHM's post and Joe's. I'd like to ask you both what makes women so unsympathetic to the plights of men and equally harsh as well?

 

[JoeMarron]

This is an interesting subject that I'm finding myself being in agreeance with both from PHM's post and Joe's. I'd like to ask you both what makes women so unsympathetic to the plights of men and equally harsh as well?

It's in their nature. The survival of humanity can't afford to have women be concerned about the plight of men. Since the dawn of humanity women needed a man to survive. Either the man is strong enough to take care of her and the children or he isn't. If he isn't then there's no reason for the woman to associate with him. Women are more selfish by design. I can't name any exact posts but I know Rollo articulates this dynamic better on his blog http://therationalmale.com/. Look up anything involving hypergamy should explain it.

 

[mikey2012]

Once you reach a point where you FEAR losing the woman you have already lost the game. It doesn't matter if she "comes back" or you play PUA mind games with her. As long as you are less willing to walk away then she is... you have almost no leverage and you are the woman in the relationship. PERIOD.

I'm very harsh when I give advice and I call men faggots all the time. There is a reason for this --> If you can't stomach what I say.. you'll get emotionally raped by most women.

Women have a strong disdain for male weakness. Insecurity, neediness and co-dependency make them lose attraction and respect. It won't always make them leave.. but it will make them treat you like a beta b!tch.

Women's cold, uncaring and unsympathetic attitude towards male weakness is the very reason they are not worth bonding with or opening up to IMO. They use their knowledge of your weaknesses for their own benefit to control you later. You must remain stronger and more emotionally detached from them for the entire duration of the relationship to keep their "love and respect" for any length of time. And even then.. there are no guarantees.

Women are very honest and sympathetic in relationships that lack a sexual nature. But once she is f*cking you she expects you to be Superman otherwise she either loses interest or becomes abusive and disrespectful later.

This is why I say spin plates, stop looking for a soul mate and invest your emotional energy and resources into something more reliable than a woman.

So fvcking true. This is the Golden Rule.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Once you reach a point where you FEAR losing the woman you have already lost the game. It doesn't matter if she "comes back" or you play PUA mind games with her. As long as you are less willing to walk away then she is... you have almost no leverage and you are the woman in the relationship. PERIOD.

I'm very harsh when I give advice and I call men faggots all the time. There is a reason for this --> If you can't stomach what I say.. you'll get emotionally raped by most women.

Women have a strong disdain for male weakness. Insecurity, neediness and co-dependency make them lose attraction and respect. It won't always make them leave.. but it will make them treat you like a beta b!tch.

Women's cold, uncaring and unsympathetic attitude towards male weakness is the very reason they are not worth bonding with or opening up to IMO. They use their knowledge of your weaknesses for their own benefit to control you later. You must remain stronger and more emotionally detached from them for the entire duration of the relationship to keep their "love and respect" for any length of time. And even then.. there are no guarantees.

Women are very honest and sympathetic in relationships that lack a sexual nature. But once she is f*cking you she expects you to be Superman otherwise she either loses interest or becomes abusive and disrespectful later.

This is why I say spin plates, stop looking for a soul mate and invest your emotional energy and resources into something more reliable than a woman.

I don't always agree with your hard-nosed approach to things. And I personally enjoy a little fall every now and then (a controlled fall.)

But this is absolute fvcking gold.



You can be perfect alphaness for years in a relationship, and have one moment of weakness with a woman and instantly - that relationship will be a sinking ship.

Example:

I had this amazing relationship with this woman that lasted about two years. We never were "official" for various reasons. I was her king, and she came like it every night we were together.

The easiest way I can explain it is - I had her under my spell for 2 years. Pretty much pure perfection on my part (alpha, leading, having her live in my world.) When I say this girl was puddy in my hands that I could mold however I wanted - I mean that. She used to drive 2 hours to fvck me for a hour, and then drive back home!

Anyway, enough with the proof and on with the story.

One night, she had started a new job and she had been mentioning this guy from work over recent weeks. I showed no weakness about it, played it right... Teased her about it... And genuinely felt no threat...

Until...

One night she decided to talk to me about how this guy from work was becoming annoying (this was a setup for the test ahead.)

Somewhere in there she decided to show me a text message exchange between this guy and her. She claimed to be doing this to show how annoying he way becoming.

What do I see?

Guy: You should come over my apartment after work today.
Her: No, I don't think that would be a good idea. Might lead to trouble.
Guy: What kind of trouble?
Her: Both kinds.

"Whaaaatttt theeeee fvckkkk!" (< this is what was going through my mind).

Why was she showing me this text exchange? As proof that this guy was annoying her? (yeah right.)


so what does her king do?


I smacked the phone out of her hand (cracking the face.)
Scolded her for 15 minutes about how she was OBVIOUSLY flirting with him, and telling her she was stupid for showing me that, and saying "why don't you leave right now and go fvck him!" Etc.


---

In two years - we probably spent 200 nights together.

199 of them - i was the man of her dreams.

1 of them - i cracked and showed "weakness"....



Anyone who knows anything - knows the relationship died that night.

I laid in bed knowing it was over. I wasn't angry at her anymore, I was angry at myself.

I tried to repair it after that, but after about a month it was clear is wasn't repaiarable.



I haven't had a deep connection with any woman since then.

 

[usernamedox11]

@bukowski_merit, I see nothing wrong with calling her out on flirting with him. Dude was comfortable enough to ask her to come over and he had her number, which means they did plenty of flirting at work. She was already moving on.

No reason to be with a girl who flirts with other guys like that. You did yourself a favor by acting like that so that it never progressed.

 

[Dgwizdal]

@Bukowski

I agree with Applegoo. Did yourself a favor buddy. There's a difference between flirting and being blatantly disrespectful - don't ever tell yourself it wasn't the latter.

 

[DragonBlood]

Wow Bukowski talk about opening up!

I have mixed feelings about this... it seems the girl played you bad. She KNEW you would get mad at her if she did that, giving her an EXCUSE to leave. Its obvious she had moved on already.. but at the same time she pushed your buttons and got what she wanted... make you look like the bad guy to remove all her guilt.

I dont know what to say, but I am starting to grow concerned about 'women in the workplace', I see the amount of flirting that goes on and it does seem to put an end to happy relationships for no reason. From what Ive seen going on its really hard to imagine how you can stay loyal with so many options, sorry colleagues around you each day. Maybe if you brought this topic up with her at some point to gauge her thoughts and set your expectations about work? Who knows..

I really appreciate sharing this story Bukowski, really got me thinking. I guess if I was in this situation I would ask her to clarify what she meant by 'both kinds' and a winking face / why dont you ignore him? Followed possibly by asking her is she trying to make me break up with her or what? "Oh Buko! This guy is so annoying! Hes MAKING ME cheat on you! Oh what should I do! Helpless me!"

 

[adam225]

@Bukowski

I agree with Applegoo. Did yourself a favor buddy. There's a difference between flirting and being blatantly disrespectful - don't ever tell yourself it wasn't the latter.

Nope, you need to show her YOU ARE NOT BOTHERED. As soon as she can control your emotions (in anyway) it's all down hill from there. A women is attracted to a strong emotionless man. It keeps her wondering whether or not you are actually into her (there for she fights for your attention). Don't ask me why, it's just the way they are.... fvcked up, I know lol. A lot of the time, the opposite to what you think is true with them. You'll always get a better response being horrible than nice....

 

[usernamedox11]

Nope, you need to show her YOU ARE NOT BOTHERED. As soon as she can control your emotions (in anyway) it's all down hill from there. A women is attracted to a strong emotionless man. It keeps her wondering whether or not you are actually into her (there for she fights for your attention). Don't ask me why, it's just the way they are.... fvcked up, I know lol. A lot of the time, the opposite to what you think is true with them. You'll always get a better response being horrible than nice....

That's ridiculous. He should call her out for being a slut and NEXT her. I think you missed the point here. The point is that he should be happy he's done with her because she's a slut and there's no reason to regret not hanging on to her.

Showing you're not bothered just to hang on to a slut is ridiculous. Something like that SHOULD bother you if you're in a relationship with her (even though he called it unofficial). You don't just act like you're not bothered and let her continue with her behavior. Let her know she's trash and move on. Girls like that aren't worth it.

 

[adam225]

The better way to go about it is not to get angry, and just tell her that if she was seeing someone else that you'd just look at her as a dirty little hore and lose interest in her. You could also mention that you'd put your time into someone else as well (this way you're HURTING her ego; not feeding it)

That text convo was a sh1t test (It was most likely nothing, and wasn't anything like what he assumed) He failed it, and that's what the problem was. If he acted cool he wouldn't of. I'm sure bukowski will back this if needed....

 

[usernamedox11]

The better way to go about it is not to get angry, and just tell her that if she was seeing someone else that you'd just look at her as a dirty little hore and lose interest in her. You could also mention that you'd put your time into someone else as well (this way you're HURTING her ego; not feeding it)

That text convo was a sh1t test (It was most likely nothing, and wasn't anything like what he assumed) He failed it, and that's what the problem was. If he acted cool he wouldn't of. I'm sure bukowski will back this if needed....

Maybe she wanted to use the text messages of flirting with another guy as way to force him to become "official" with her? Who knows what her motivations were. Girls are covert like that. But who cares?

If he stops seeing her and calls her a wh0re for speaking to other guys, she'll feel hurt regardless.

 

[bukowski_merit]

I understand, and I understand your guys perspective. And I've told this story before and I sometimes get similar responses. It’s only natural. The story as it is, seems like a cut and dry case of her being the one who fvcked up.

But… let's not look at her character or if she was doing something wrong....


I believe a woman can only be blatantly disrespectful if you give her the opportunity to be (or the power to be). It requires you first buying into the idea that she’s important in your life. It requires you also buying into whatever frame she’s throwing at you (without regard for your own frame.)

I don’t think my reaction was abnormal based on what I saw… The problem was letting that event occur.

The mistake I made was that I read the text when she showed it to me; the mistake I made was I let her have the conversation with me in the first place. I should have treated it similar to what I had done with her in similar situations in the past.

I was suddenly in her world; I was suddenly the one who was confused.

It was incongruent with who I’d been the other 199 days.

It was one night of failed framing. One crack in the carefree armor.

There was nothing for her to be moving on from, as we weren’t really dating. Just VERY good friends with benefits.

Right or wrong, that night is what sank us. My reaction was the dynamite that collapased the bridge..

---



To elaborate. I actually had a plan/frame in my head for dealing with her that was very simple. I called it 3 F’s and there was a time I was considering writing a book on it.

The 3 F’s were:

Fun
Frustrate
Fvck

Fun
Was the goal of every night. If we weren’t laughing and enjoying each other’s company without regard for the world around us – we weren’t doing it right. The fun was mostly up to me to provide. For example: One night she came over, and I had a deck of cards. She asked what we were doing, and I told her “I’m going to teach you how to play blackjack.” She said, “I don’t want to learn how to play blackjack.” But I dealt the cards anyway, and taught her how to play in about 30 minutes. Then I made it a lot more interesting by coming up with the idea of gambling, but instead of $, we gambled with sexual favors. She suddenly loved blackjack. That was a fun night.

Frustrate
This is what occurs when a woman’s primordial level tries to get you to submit to her and you don’t. Let’s say – she starts with “this guy at work is so annoying; he’s always hitting on me” – I fail to frustrate her if I take it serious (and then I get frustrated instead). I frustrate her if I say “yeah he’s probably at home jerking off to your image right now, now come here and scratch my back for me.” Or if she says, “look at this text message exchange. He’s so annoying.” And instead I don’t look at it and say, “I don’t know how to read. But I do know how to kiss… come here… kiss me” This will frustrate her….

And frustrated is a very good thing for a woman to be towards you. Frustration naturally turns to tension. Tension with attraction is the best recipe for sex.

I’m not taking what she says serious. I’m not getting pulled into her world! Or her frame…. And this whole process can be 5-10 minutes sometimes… And then that results in the….


Fvck
Self-explanatory here. After the first 2 things – she’ll be a volcano waiting to explode…. Give it to her good and call it a night.

----




Now with that being the frame I took with her the whole time we were together…. The incongruence should shine through and be clear to you all.

Impudent/Consistent is one of the most important things to be to a woman.

 

[usernamedox11]

If you're just fvcking her and not official, doing that is fine. If you're in a relationship, tell her she's a dirty ***** and NEXT her.

But if you're in a relationship, acting like you don't care in order to hang on to a slut is stupid. Be a man and tell her she's a slut and not to speak to you anymore. Playing mind-games in order to hang on to a slut in a relationship is BETA, at least to me. You think you're displaying no reaction by acting like you don't care, even though you DO CARE and are doing it in a desperate attempt to hang on to her. Fvck that. In reality she'll just think you've got no guts to tell her what she's doing is wrong and she will continue doing it until she moves on to another guy who will care a little more. Be a man and tell her she's a slut and move on. She will then forever regret sabotaging the relationship like that. If you act like you don't care at all, she'll move on on to someone else and not regret anything because she'll think you never gave enough of a sh1t for it to lead anywhere, anyway.

My EX felt that way about her EX. He never gave a sh1t about what she did, so her not being with him didn't mean sh1t to her because she viewed her relationship with him as meaningless.

 

[PlayHer Man]

I don't always agree with your hard-nosed approach to things. And I personally enjoy a little fall every now and then (a controlled fall.)

But this is absolute fvcking gold.



You can be perfect alphaness for years in a relationship, and have one moment of weakness with a woman and instantly - that relationship will be a sinking ship.

Example:

I had this amazing relationship with this woman that lasted about two years. We never were "official" for various reasons. I was her king, and she came like it every night we were together.

The easiest way I can explain it is - I had her under my spell for 2 years. Pretty much pure perfection on my part (alpha, leading, having her live in my world.) When I say this girl was puddy in my hands that I could mold however I wanted - I mean that. She used to drive 2 hours to fvck me for a hour, and then drive back home!

Anyway, enough with the proof and on with the story.

One night, she had started a new job and she had been mentioning this guy from work over recent weeks. I showed no weakness about it, played it right... Teased her about it... And genuinely felt no threat...

Until...

One night she decided to talk to me about how this guy from work was becoming annoying (this was a setup for the test ahead.)

Somewhere in there she decided to show me a text message exchange between this guy and her. She claimed to be doing this to show how annoying he way becoming.

What do I see?

Guy: You should come over my apartment after work today.
Her: No, I don't think that would be a good idea. Might lead to trouble.
Guy: What kind of trouble?
Her: Both kinds.

"Whaaaatttt theeeee fvckkkk!" (< this is what was going through my mind).

Why was she showing me this text exchange? As proof that this guy was annoying her? (yeah right.)


so what does her king do?


I smacked the phone out of her hand (cracking the face.)
Scolded her for 15 minutes about how she was OBVIOUSLY flirting with him, and telling her she was stupid for showing me that, and saying "why don't you leave right now and go fvck him!" Etc.


---

In two years - we probably spent 200 nights together.

199 of them - i was the man of her dreams.

1 of them - i cracked and showed "weakness"....



Anyone who knows anything - knows the relationship died that night.

I laid in bed knowing it was over. I wasn't angry at her anymore, I was angry at myself.

I tried to repair it after that, but after about a month it was clear is wasn't repaiarable.



I haven't had a deep connection with any woman since then.

I believe the only thing you should be angry with yourself about is GIVING a sh!t about "messing up" in the first place.

She clearly had NO FEAR of losing you and was aware she would make you upset. Often women want to end a relationship but they have no clear reason they can point to in order to justify it. So they create one (part of their hyperamy). They find ways to make the man flip out so they can say: "See.. this isn't working" and have an excuse to be the victim and bail.

They are not victims who don't know what they're doing. They are c*nts. But they don't want to feel like c*nts.. nore do they want to look like c*nts. So they manipulate things to make the man look like the a*shole. :yes:

Women are cowards when it comes to human relations and hate doing anything too direct or honest. Women hate black & white situations. They thrive in gray area situations where they can manipulate. Men are often the opposite.

This is why the woman should always care more about the relationship than the man. ALWAYS. Its the only way.

 

[The Simple Man]

I don't always agree with your hard-nosed approach to things. And I personally enjoy a little fall every now and then (a controlled fall.)

But this is absolute fvcking gold.



You can be perfect alphaness for years in a relationship, and have one moment of weakness with a woman and instantly - that relationship will be a sinking ship.

Example:

I had this amazing relationship with this woman that lasted about two years. We never were "official" for various reasons. I was her king, and she came like it every night we were together.

The easiest way I can explain it is - I had her under my spell for 2 years. Pretty much pure perfection on my part (alpha, leading, having her live in my world.) When I say this girl was puddy in my hands that I could mold however I wanted - I mean that. She used to drive 2 hours to fvck me for a hour, and then drive back home!

Anyway, enough with the proof and on with the story.

One night, she had started a new job and she had been mentioning this guy from work over recent weeks. I showed no weakness about it, played it right... Teased her about it... And genuinely felt no threat...

Until...

One night she decided to talk to me about how this guy from work was becoming annoying (this was a setup for the test ahead.)

Somewhere in there she decided to show me a text message exchange between this guy and her. She claimed to be doing this to show how annoying he way becoming.

What do I see?

Guy: You should come over my apartment after work today.
Her: No, I don't think that would be a good idea. Might lead to trouble.
Guy: What kind of trouble?
Her: Both kinds.

"Whaaaatttt theeeee fvckkkk!" (< this is what was going through my mind).

Why was she showing me this text exchange? As proof that this guy was annoying her? (yeah right.)


so what does her king do?


I smacked the phone out of her hand (cracking the face.)
Scolded her for 15 minutes about how she was OBVIOUSLY flirting with him, and telling her she was stupid for showing me that, and saying "why don't you leave right now and go fvck him!" Etc.


---

In two years - we probably spent 200 nights together.

199 of them - i was the man of her dreams.

1 of them - i cracked and showed "weakness"....



Anyone who knows anything - knows the relationship died that night.

I laid in bed knowing it was over. I wasn't angry at her anymore, I was angry at myself.

I tried to repair it after that, but after about a month it was clear is wasn't repaiarable.



I haven't had a deep connection with any woman since then.

I think your problem was that you thought you owned the b!tch.

You can never own them in this day and age, you have to accept them for what they are as long as they are capable of providing you good times.

When the good times are gone, it is over. You walk away, no explanation.

But do not try to make them yours, they won't be. Well at least not until their value is diminished completely.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Apple, you started out with a fair enough comment, but now you're going in a direction that is a bit extreme and naieve.

If you're just fvcking her and not official, doing that is fine. If you're in a relationship, tell her she's a dirty ***** and NEXT her.

If a woman is a s!ut, wh@re, only been with a few guys, or a complete virgin - that does not change what's in their DNA.

It does not change that tension and attraction create the best sex. "Love" or "feelings" can only carry a relationship for a short while....

But if you're in a relationship, acting like you don't care in order to hang on to a slut is stupid.

There's nothing to care about if you don't let her drop her bullsh!t on you.

You've never seen that old man who doesn't take any of the nagging his wife does serious? He makes a joke out of it.... Yet, they've lived together and been happily married for 60 years? And even when his wife is ranting and raving about what an @sshole is he is while she cooks his dinner, you can almost sense the smile under her words?

Be a man and tell her she's a slut and not to speak to you anymore. Playing mind-games in order to hang on to a slut in a relationship is BETA, at least to me.

Well, you can let women spew their garbage and take it serious and judge her only by that. That defintely is an alternative; but that most likely will end up with you being the frustrated one in the relationship.

Or you can date a masculine woman. They normally have a firm grasp on being logical and not allowing their emotions to change with each blink. That's another alternative.

But largely, getting into a democratic relationship and expecting the result to be fair... is a recipe for a dead relationship.

You think you're displaying no reaction by acting like you don't care, even though you DO CARE and are doing it in a desperate attempt to hang on to her.

You're reaching here. You can't care about what doesn't exist.

In reality she'll just think you've got no guts to tell her what she's doing is wrong and she will continue doing it until she moves on to another guy who will care a little more.

Eve bit the apple because of temptation. Do you know when you know a woman will cheat with you? When she says, "My boyfriend told me not to talk to you anymore." And trust me - after that - in his world (depending on how good she is as being sneaky) - you and her aren't talking anymore.

&

Listening to her go on and on about her problems - creates a headache.

Be a man and tell her she's a slut and move on. She will then forever regret sabotaging the relationship like that.

Regret sabotaging the relationship? Women? Regret? Lol, I'm dealing with the reality of women and you're dealing with some fairy tale here...

My EX felt that way about her EX. He never gave a sh1t about what she did, so her not being with him didn't mean sh1t to her because she viewed her relationship with him as meaningless.

You... Listen to what women say too much.

Why a woman says she left her ex, is rarely the real reason.