Is she cheatin on me?

[Al Bundy]

Hey fellas, I've been in a relationship for 3 years and I'm starting to think she's cheating on me. She's very honest and open, talks about everything, guys hitting on her and everything. Lately I've noticed a change in her behaviour, especially with her cell phone.

She broke her cell phone and took her brother's old cell, which has some numbers saved to the phone -which she's never deleted. Some of them don't even have names on them. Now sometimes when she recieves calls and I'm around, the phone will ring and she wont pickup b/c she says she doesn't recognize the number (happend quite a few times). Another thing is she's starting to take her cell phone around the house with her, where in the past she would just throw it on her desk...

Sunday, I'm in her room with her- I'm on the computer. She said she was gonna go upstairs to hang out with her brother, and I said I'd come up in a little. She then says "lemme check to see if my bestfriend called" and goes into her bag to look at her phone. I'm on the computer, not lookin at her. She then goes uptairs. As soon as she leaves I check her bag, and she took her phone with her. At this point, I'm pissed and suspicious b/c earlier that day she didn't answer a call infront of me yet again, cause she didnt know who it was. So I thought to myself if I was cheating I'd take my phone, turn it off and hide it somewhere in the house. I start heading upstairs, looking around for a hidden phone, and just like that I find it hiding behind a picture frame in her living room (turned on, however). I'm fuming. I take her phone and jot down as many #s as I can that aren't labeled.

Yesterday, the same **** happend. I'm in her room, she goes upstairs and takes her freakin cellphone again. I got more numbers out of it. Most of them check out to be her friends (4 out of 5, I have them on my cell), except for one. I think it was a missed call, and she said she didn't know who it was. I called it last night 2am (cell phone), some guy picked up, and I hung up. I'm in the process of getting this guys name, but I'm gonna get a female to call him and try to get a name out of him.

So I'm furious, I've been in a bad mood since sunday, she knows I'm pissed but she doesnt know why yet. I dunno how much longer I can hide this **** I wanna explode on her. There's no need for her to take her phone with her everywhere like she does, and why the fukc did she hide it behind a frame? She's hiding something from me and I'm gonna find out.

Tonight when I'm in her house, I'm gonna call her cell when when she isnt near it. I'm gonna tell her that her cells ringing and that I'll pick it up. I wanna see how she's going to react. If she reacts bad, I'm gonna let her have it. I can't play detective for too much longer.

What do you guys think? Thanks.

 

[wayword]

I find it hiding behind a picture frame in her living room

Case closed. She's a cheating slvt. Admission of guilt right there.

So, the question is not IF now, but WHO and HOW? I'd want to do some detective work on all that on the DL just out of curiosity at this point...

 

[Silky]

Why don't you ask her?

 

[Docs]

Why don't you ask her?

That's too simple .

Of course, this would be normal, but no, you're making possibly false accusations on account of her taking her cell upstairs. Talk to her about it, like a real man.:rockon:

To below. Damn, that sucks. Once again, talking to her will allow you to tell if she's lying or not. Hesitation, the question deflection techniques, or starting to do the 'truth' run, are all signs...but again, you need SOLID COMFIRMATION, from visual reports, finding out who this guy is, etc.

 

[edmond]

Yes, she is, my ex was doing the same s**t.

 

[Kings_royalty]

So I'm furious, I've been in a bad mood since sunday, she knows I'm pissed but she doesnt know why yet. I dunno how much longer I can hide this **** I wanna explode on her.

Don't hide how you feel bro; you are only making it worse. You have enough to warrant a conversation over this topic, so sit her down and talk to her.

How she responds to your questions will tell you allot so watch her reaction. If she gets all defensive and flies off the handle, there is a reason for it. Just remember to play it cool, try to keep your emotions in check, if possible.

Tonight when I'm in her house, I'm gonna call her cell when when she isnt near it. I'm gonna tell her that her cells ringing and that I'll pick it up. I wanna see how she's going to react. If she reacts bad, I'm gonna let her have it.

Don't play this little game bro, be a man and confront her. Tell her you know what's up, but you want to hear her say it (you can really screw with her mind now). Just remember to remain calm, unaffected.

This is where you become very cold towards her, no feelings at all. The very sight of her makes you nauseous, communicate that to her. You can really do some damage when girls are in this vulnerable state, so take advantage.

If she starts crying, all the better, but don't do what most guys do and try to comfort her. Take her emotions and run them into the ground just for fun.

 

[wayword]

^ Why confront her and give her a chance to find excuses?

There is no other reason she'd be hiding her phone behind a painting, c'mon.

At this point, you're better off secretly collecting more info on the situation than blowing your cover like an idiot and letting her know you're already onto her so she can cover all her tracks even better.

 

[azanon]

You talk/worry about this as if you are married to her or something. If no one's receited any vows and signed some paperwork in the state you live in, then I think you are blowing this out of perportion.

If i was you, i doubt I'd find the time to even worry about it, because all the other women i'd be gaming would be taking up most of it.

Except in the high school/puppy love sense, the term "cheating" should be locked up and reserved for engaged/married folks.

Why should a woman be exclusive to you when you cant/wont cough up a ring?

 

[vorbis]

what i'm hearing is some serious paranoia. It MAY be justified but it'd be best to confront the issue directly. I'm sorry but taking down numbers from the phone, assuming she "hid" the phone. How big was the painting, could it simply be a case of putting the phone down on a desk and there happens to be a painting there as well. What would the advice be if it was a girl acting like this?

If you feel she's cheating, have it out with her and as others have said judge by her reactions. What you're doing at the moment is heading into weirdo territory.

 

[wayword]

If you feel she's cheating, have it out with her and as others have said judge by her reactions. What you're doing at the moment is heading into weirdo territory.

BS, that's like asking OJ if he's guilty.

Girls will lie & deny if at all possible.

I know a guy who recently was banging a girl with a LTR bf. He started suspecting so and made some accusations to her. Did she fess up? Of course not! Knowing he had no hard evidence, she knew she didn't have to. I mean, if she's cheating on you to begin with, what makes you think she'll be honest with you if you simply ask her? All you're gonna do is alert her that she needs to be even more discrete now.

 

[Faded Image]

DX (direct exchange), 86 her or what ever you want to call it. Regardless of what you do, if she already has intentions to cheat on you then it's nothing you can do about.

You can explode on her, fight her, or even threaten to break it off, she's going to do it because the other person has struck an emotion cord within her system that has her addicted to that butterfly feeling you get when you first meet that special person.

You better start thinking outside of your relationship and align a gameplan that's going to help you save face. I'm positive, that if you start doing you thing on the side, you'll stop caring who she hangs out with or who even calls her.

I can't honestly say she's cheating, but i can say she's hiding something. You keep looking for it and eventually you're going to find it. Once you find it and it is what you're looking for it's going to hurt worst then the mystery that's fueling you now.

If you confront her about it and you're wrong, you might as well hang it cause that could lead to the destruction of your relationship.

Ballen Cinco

 

[azanon]

DX (direct exchange), 86 her or what ever you want to call it. Regardless of what you do, if she already has intentions to cheat on you then it's nothing you can do about.

You can explode on her, fight her, or even threaten to break it off, she's going to do it because the other person has struck an emotion cord within her system that has her addicted to that butterfly feeling you get when you first meet that special person.

You better start thinking outside of your relationship and align a gameplan that's going to help you save face. I'm positive, that if you start doing you thing on the side, you'll stop caring who she hangs out with or who even calls her.

I can't honestly say she's cheating, but i can say she's hiding something. You keep looking for it and eventually you're going to find it. Once you find it and it is what you're looking for it's going to hurt worst then the mystery that's fueling you now.

If you confront her about it and you're wrong, you might as well hang it cause that could lead to the destruction of your relationship.

Ballen Cinco

Good advise here. You need to toughen up. A great way to act AFC is to continue the detective work and spending appreciable time worry about it. Adjust to the situation, and focus on things you have control over.

 

[Good_ol_boy]

Doesn't matter if she is cheating or not. You don't trust her, you're done. End of story.

 

[nicegirls]

listen to this

situation:
- uve probably been going out and fire is down.
- some guy probably asked for her phone number and shes been stressing about it, she hasnt felt like this before and is over analyzing things, for some reason she is feeling some attraction towards him and doesnt know what to do, it doesnt necessarily mean shes cheating or is going to, but she is having doubts.

solution:
- u have to be a man, its so hard sometimes with a girl you really like. The thought of somebody else playing with her and her thinking about someone else, but you MUST act and act COOL
- At this point it comes down to either you either ending up as a jelous fool and her breaking up with you and wanting to see other people; or you keeping your cool, acting confident and choosing whats best for you. With these things in mind, if you do dumb jelous things to try to save your relationship it wont do much, your just gonna end up prolonging a weak relationship, believe me this happens to MOST GUYS unless they really have some great level A game which i have yet to see.

Girls will go through this many times during their relationships/marriage, if they have a great connection with theyre bf then they will know that the game has passed them and that they have settled down, otherwise they cheat and divorce etc.

Now trust me, by the way it sounds, youre already on your way to wussyland and will probably proceed with calling her out and assuming a very bad position in the relationship just to save it. I dont think that ure gonna be able to get over her and do what im gonna suggest but still here i go... Dress amazing, look good and confident, visit her and act a little serious, dont fall for her ****, if she asks for things dont give it to her (take away that predictability that she expects, like if she tries to put on a cute act just look at her and look indiferent, just dont follow the pattern, CALL HER ATTENTION by not giving her attention and compliment... but always be chill and confident, a little ****y too with slight negs ) . I hope you know what im saying by now. If your doing things right she'll ask you whats wrong with you etc etc, you still have to be a little emotionless.. then tell her that you want to talk to her, and BANG tell her that you are confused and that you need some time to think things over. If you want you can bring up something like, well uve also been acting weird and ive lost some of the trust that i had etc etc, but dont try to get much info, just break her heart dude, and tell her that she can call you if she wants and leave... then be a man and get over her, go out with ur friends party and see other girls, man ive been through similar **** i wish i would have had f***ing balls to TAKE CHARGE

 

[Al Bundy]

^ Why confront her and give her a chance to find excuses?

There is no other reason she'd be hiding her phone behind a painting, c'mon.

At this point, you're better off secretly collecting more info on the situation than blowing your cover like an idiot and letting her know you're already onto her so she can cover all her tracks even better.

i'm gonna tell her that i'm gonna grab her cell phone bill from her mom, so if there's something to confess to, it's gonna come out tonight, or when the bill comes.

 

[Al Bundy]

So I'm furious, I've been in a bad mood since sunday, she knows I'm pissed but she doesnt know why yet. I dunno how much longer I can hide this **** I wanna explode on her.

Don't hide how you feel bro; you are only making it worse. You have enough to warrant a conversation over this topic, so sit her down and talk to her.

How she responds to your questions will tell you allot so watch her reaction. If she gets all defensive and flies off the handle, there is a reason for it. Just remember to play it cool, try to keep your emotions in check, if possible.

Tonight when I'm in her house, I'm gonna call her cell when when she isnt near it. I'm gonna tell her that her cells ringing and that I'll pick it up. I wanna see how she's going to react. If she reacts bad, I'm gonna let her have it.

Don't play this little game bro, be a man and confront her. Tell her you know what's up, but you want to hear her say it (you can really screw with her mind now). Just remember to remain calm, unaffected.

This is where you become very cold towards her, no feelings at all. The very sight of her makes you nauseous, communicate that to her. You can really do some damage when girls are in this vulnerable state, so take advantage.

If she starts crying, all the better, but don't do what most guys do and try to comfort her. Take her emotions and run them into the ground just for fun.

the only reason why i havent said **** is because I don't want her to start being more careful, -i wanted to get more **** on her.

im gonna talk to her tonight about everything.

 

[Al Bundy]

what i'm hearing is some serious paranoia. It MAY be justified but it'd be best to confront the issue directly. I'm sorry but taking down numbers from the phone, assuming she "hid" the phone. How big was the painting, could it simply be a case of putting the phone down on a desk and there happens to be a painting there as well. What would the advice be if it was a girl acting like this?

If you feel she's cheating, have it out with her and as others have said judge by her reactions. What you're doing at the moment is heading into weirdo territory.

paranoia? maybe so, but when someone starts acting different around me, i notice. i notice everything. she hid the phone behind a picture frame, there was plenty of space on the table to put her phone. plenty, didn't have to be behind the frame sitting sideways..

 

[Distant Light]

You talk/worry about this as if you are married to her or something. If no one's receited any vows and signed some paperwork in the state you live in, then I think you are blowing this out of perportion.

If i was you, i doubt I'd find the time to even worry about it, because all the other women i'd be gaming would be taking up most of it.

Except in the high school/puppy love sense, the term "cheating" should be locked up and reserved for engaged/married folks.

Why should a woman be exclusive to you when you cant/wont cough up a ring?

co-sign

 

[Scrumtulescence]

You talk/worry about this as if you are married to her or something. If no one's receited any vows and signed some paperwork in the state you live in, then I think you are blowing this out of perportion.

If i was you, i doubt I'd find the time to even worry about it, because all the other women i'd be gaming would be taking up most of it.

Except in the high school/puppy love sense, the term "cheating" should be locked up and reserved for engaged/married folks.

Why should a woman be exclusive to you when you cant/wont cough up a ring?

Honestly, I deem this attitude "new-age masculinist bullsh1t". You just come off as someone who's too afraid, too insecure....too whatever, to put yourself in a committed relationship and put your faith in someone. If you were in his position you'd be macking tons of other girls? Bull crap. That's not what a long-term relationship is in any sense. If you were in love with a woman after a number of years and you suspected she's cheating, you wouldn't even find the time to worry about it? Spoken like someone who's never even been in deep enough relationship for cheating to even happen. A signed legal document or overpriced band of metal around someone's finger is not the requisite for fidelity; the mutual emotional investment and faith a couple puts into each other-- that alone is what fidelity is built upon. If you break that trust, you're either weak, or you're scum. If you want to wander off to other people after investing so much time and energy and emotion into one another, you be upfront about it, or you're an assh0le, period.

 

[kingwilliam]

Let me begin by saying that this forum is awesome and I am glad to have just found it.

The advice posted in this particular thread is very good I must say. There were a couple of points that I totally agree with. First of all, if you keep up this agressive investigation, you are going to cross over into weirdo territory. I have been thru a similar situation, and found myself hacking into her emails to find answers. Although, it did lead to the answer I was looking for, I asked myself why the hell I was being such a freakin *****?..

Sometimes you just have to realize that there are plenty of women out there who would be great girlfriends and if the one youre with is making you feel weird, then she must not be the one. I think your "investigation" into the situation is going to lead you to answers that you don't want to find. If I were you, I would break up with her and find someone that makes you feel confident about your self and your relationship. In other words, FUK her!!

I was recently in a relationship of 4 years that came to an end and for a while after the breakup I found myself desperate to find out what she was doing and who she was dating and all this other nonsense.....then I realized that what I was doing was stupid.......... what is she going to come running back to me because I discover she is seeing someone new???? NO!! Find someone else.