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Is she an AFC? How do I know she's worth 'meeting the parents' for?

John Juan

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Hey all, I'm new to the DJ community, having been a helpless AFC for years and years. But thanks to sosuave and these postings I've been able to realize what I've been systematically doing wrong all these years. Surprise, I haven't had any problem meeting, conversing with, and taking home beautiful women ever since.

At any rate, I need your help. I've been dating this girl for about a month and a half. She's funny, sexy (not a 9 in my eyes, but a strong 8), intelligent, has a positive attitude on life, politically we are on the same side of the fence.. she's about everything I was wishing for about a year ago, when I was in over my head with divorcing my psycho wife (who I was separated from). My girlfriend's interest level in me couldn't be higher, she's always complimenting me, saying she'd go anywhere with me, she'd like having me over every night. She's going along with me to workout now, always goes to see me play at the open mics I go to, shows up at my work to say hi, gives me flowers (and I haven't given her a single gift!). She's planning things with me, and wants me to go with her to Cali in a few weeks to meet her parents.

This is all a bit overwhelming for me. As good as it should be, I'm finding it hard to believe, but I find myself wondering what my ex-girlfriend is up to!? Could it be that I'm not used to this kind of attention and am trying to "run away" from someone who is this interested in me, or is it that I see AFC behavior in her and that is making me less attracted to her? She has told me that I am her first "steady boyfriend", and she is 23 years old. That also worries me. Am I setting myself up to get dumped here? Do you guys think she even knows what a real relationship is since I'm her "first"? Or is this just a big overreaction? Things have gotten too serious between her and I for me to feel free to just date whoever else I want at the same time.. did I get too involved here too quickly? What should I do? Help!

-John
 
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diplomatic_lies

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Re: How do I know she's worth 'meeting the parents' for?

Originally posted by John Juan
She has told me that I am her first "steady boyfriend", and she is 23 years old.

Well, I only got this when I was 17, but I think its not a good sign.

Write down a list. Jot down, in the last month, the number of obssessive stuff shes done.

It might not do much, but it will at least open your eyes.
 

MDgood

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Dude, I feel like it's too soon to know if it's actually "worth" meeting the parents. How far of a trip are we talking about would it be for you? I'm on the East Coast, and I would not bother flying out to California to meet the parents of a chick I've known for a month. But if it were justa day trip, then sure.
 

John Juan

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more info

I should have posted that her parents live in San Fran, a two day drive from here. And also, it would be a week long trip, we'd be staying at her parents place for 3-4 nights..
 

Oscar Wilde

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You also don't say your age, which is important cos I'm guessing you're at least 4 years older than her, based on your first post.

And a 2 day drive based on a 6 week relationship? Too soon methinks. I'd leave it another 6 weeks to 2 months.

Also, if she's asked you to go, ask her about sleeping arrangements - you need to pay for a hotel/sleep on the couch/sleep with her? Cos if it's only been a short relationship, her parents won't be mad keen on the last one (if you've been together 4-6 months it's a different story).

Osc.
 

John Juan

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i'm 25, soon to be 26. Some other details: Have been married and divorced (finalized the first of this year). Have had several other relationships, only one other where I was not an AFC (I actually broke that relationship up, which was my last one before this one).
 

MDgood

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Hell, go for it. See what happens. Worst that will happen is you two get in a huge fight and it all goes to crap. I mean, even if her parents tell you to get the hell out of their house, you're 26 and it's not as if you'll be sleeping on the sidewalk and can't get home. Just do it and let us know what happens.
 
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