Is she a nutcase or is it me?

[yul]

Hi,

so I meet this girl 2 weeks ago and go to her place (about 1 hour drive) one weekend.

The second weekend I go there we sleep together and did some interesting things..

She does talk a lot but says mostly nonsense. Really nothing personal nor emotional.

So I ask her a few times if she's enjoying herself and said yes.

So I call her the next day after our first lay while at home.

She doesnt have any discussion whatsoever so I am trying to make convo so out of desperation, I ask: Tell me about our weekend? Did you enjoy it?

Then she cracks and says: YOU HAVE ALREADY ASKED ME 3 TIMES, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

In shock, I tell her I felt she was a bit distant and that she should not hesitate to tell me if anything was wrong. She replies: IF THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG I WOULD TELL YOU.

Then she goes: I REALLY DONT LIKE TO TALK OVER THE PHONE EITHER!

She does want us to get back together too...

I really dont feel like calling her back. She can go to hell.

So whats that all about?

 

[Phyzzle]

Is she a nutcase or is it me?

It's you.

so I meet this girl 2 weeks ago ...
She does talk a lot but says mostly nonsense. Really nothing personal nor emotional.

This is perfectly normal. I know, when I was less experienced, it seemed like you should be a little deeper when sex is involved. But sex isn't that big a deal, it's time.

Just keep it light and funny for the 1st two months at least.

Then she goes: I REALLY DONT LIKE TO TALK OVER THE PHONE EITHER!

She does want us to get back together too...

I really dont feel like calling her back. She can go to hell.

So whats that all about?

She's perfectly fine. If you're never going to forge a deep relationship with this one, use her for practice, nothing wrong with that, you need it!

 

[Heretolearn]

you are her booty call - do not get attached

 

[jonwon]

Hi,

so I meet this girl 2 weeks ago and go to her place (about 1 hour drive) one weekend.

The second weekend I go there we sleep together and did some interesting things..

She does talk a lot but says mostly nonsense. Really nothing personal nor emotional.

So I ask her a few times if she's enjoying herself and said yes.

So I call her the next day after our first lay while at home.

She doesnt have any discussion whatsoever so I am trying to make convo so out of desperation, I ask: Tell me about our weekend? Did you enjoy it?

Then she cracks and says: YOU HAVE ALREADY ASKED ME 3 TIMES, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

In shock, I tell her I felt she was a bit distant and that she should not hesitate to tell me if anything was wrong. She replies: IF THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG I WOULD TELL YOU.

Then she goes: I REALLY DONT LIKE TO TALK OVER THE PHONE EITHER!

She does want us to get back together too...

I really dont feel like calling her back. She can go to hell.

So whats that all about?

Your acting a little clingy here man, back off a little.

Asking a girl if she is enjoying herself is not wise either, if your gonna do that do the deed and ask her whislt your doing it, for examle, doggie style, ask her 'do you like huh' in a sexy voice.

Dont ask a women if they enjoyed the night just assume they did, it appears you are needy when you want to try to please them, asking them if they enjoyed the ***** makes it appear you was trying to please, when it takes two to date.

out of desperation to make a convo, why? why, try to make a convo, what are you trying to achieve here? why do ppl think they need to talk and talk and talk, when the conversation runs dry on the phone just get to the point and get the next date set up. This is very insecure behavoiur and implies she wont see you unless you say something intresting, your the prize not her remember, she has to keep you entertained.

She is being honest and tbh your being very needy, you dont want to phone her back cos she did not bend over for you and please your boring need to drag a conversationg out on the phone in the hopes to satisfy the wimpy need you have to feel validation from this chick?

Man look at the post, she is gonna get bored very fast very soon.

chill relax you are the man, stop trying to get validation each encounter just enjoy it!

and what you mean she does want?
She does want means jack sh**, not about her ever about you, remember.

If the conversation runs dry when your out, chill sit back, take in the scene and let her worry about keeping the conversation alive.

 

[grinder]

I refer you to Anti-Dump's "The Perfect Don Juan" in the Attitude section of the bible. Please read it.

Keep in mind these are guidlines, not an exact recipie for exactly how to be.

 

[Desdinova]

So I call her the next day after our first lay while at home.

She doesnt have any discussion whatsoever so I am trying to make convo so out of desperation, I ask: Tell me about our weekend? Did you enjoy it?

In the initial dating phase, it's best to keep conversation on the phone short and sweet, and save it all for a date. When the two of you get to know each other a bit more, then you'll have more to talk about.

For now, use the phone for setting up dates. A three minute phone call can accomplish more than a ten minute call filled with "um"s, "uh"s and silence.

 

[Bonhomme]

Why do people feel the need to talk so bloody much?

It is/was definitely you. Just like the other guys said. Just set a date and learn from this experience.

 

[d9930380]

Yea man wrong move. It's you. we've all done the same thing. Don't blame her, realise it was your fault and meet up with her again.

She might have also been having a pop at you for being quiet with nothing to say. You did say she did all the talking.

Enjoy the sex and don't worry about it developing into something more. Quite frankly I'm surprised she even wanted to see you again. You must have been a good ****.

 

[tmpgstx]

Jonwon put it pretty well, you're seeking validation which of course is associated with desparation.

Anytime you're repeating yourself, that's hinting at desparation to keep the convo going, looking for her validation in that she's even talking to you.

Just let there be dead awkward silences over the phone, she'll evetually say something if you don't. I know it doesn't seem logical, but neither are women.

I know one guy, the most boring-azz dude you ever want to talk to. He leaves all kinds of long silences, you wonder if he's even still on - he does this with girls and gets with them everytime. They're crazy about him, and i'm scratching my head ..like what the hell ..lol.

It's probably because they do most of the talking and women love to chat.

 

[yul]

]So I tried to salvage the situation. I think it worked.

I sent her an email asking how she liked her weekend (with a big JOKE right besides it.

I said I understood what she meant and that I was glad we went through this discussion and that she could get back to me if she ever felt like it.

She then quickly replied asking what I meant?

I said that I now understood that she was a grown up girl that knows how to have fun without complicating things and that was perfectly fine with me.

She then told me about her day etc...

GUYS, I WASNT BEING NEEDY, I WAS SURE SHE WAS HOLDING BACK FEELINGS AND I WANTED TO MAKE SURE SHE WASNT COS I DONT WANT TO GET INVOLVED. I AM COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE WITH A F()CKFRIEND SCENARIO. REALLY. JUST SHOWs HOW BAD COMMUNICATION CAN GET YOU OUT IN NO TIME.

 

[ElChoclo]

She was just being the man and you were just being the woman OK. You were trying to get in touch with her feelings. It's alright for you to be the woman if you want to be, but don't call her a nutcase for being the man.

See your last post "I was sure she was holding back feelings." Frankly who gives a damn?

 

[yul]

See your last post "I was sure she was holding back feelings." Frankly who gives a damn?

Well I don't want to be with someone who's not on the same page as I am...too much trouble and I wanted to know.

 

[ElChoclo]

Yul, we agree on this, when a man sticks his meat in a woman he is not getting involved. It's just like a workout at the gym. The worst thing that can happen, is that the woman starts to like you. That is horrible. The funny thing is, sometimes I've thought I was on the same page with a woman and then I later find that she's dyslexic.

I try to avoid cliches and its best if I avoid agreeing with people because somehow their ideas sound all wrong when I put them into my words.

 

[Latinoman]

Well I don't want to be with someone who's not on the same page as I am...too much trouble and I wanted to know.

Once again...you know her for a couple of weeks...so, who cares? I'm sure she was "clear" of what she wanted when she opened her legs to you. I know my girlfriend was VERY clear with me...so I had to think very hard before I even proceeded. But if she was not clear...then work that gray area.

I understand if the thing starts developing...then you need to think hard. But now? For Christ sake! She already phucked you!