Is online dating devaluing men in women's eyes? Has online dating ruined dating?

[Zimbabwe]

Let's not go into reason why you might believe most modern men or women are unworthy/not good enough, but let's just consider the mechanic of online dating, which most are aware of:

Most at least average looking women get tons of likes, while most men get barely any. If a woman is under the impression SO many men want her, by the law of supply and demand she sees them as a dime a dozen, and they lose value to her. She might even understandably get annoyed. In contrast, for a man who might be lucky to get 1 like/match a day, week, even a month, he becomes desperate. On the surface the woman might think, 'great, so much choice!'

But of course we know things don't work like that. When it comes to pairing up, if a woman wants her own man, there aren't 10x more men to go around. Unless she herself is very attractive she won't get the most attractive. I mean in general, i know other factors come into play. My question is, in a way all this apparent choice just sets women up for disappointment. I don't see how online dating is sustainable, except for a world where a minority of men have sex with most women but don't have relationships, or polygy, which I don't think is good for most/society. In many ways online dating has f**ked up things for both imo.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Yes.

* Women don't even have to leave their houses to receive tons of validation

* In the past, as a man, you would either grow bigger balls, or doomed to be forever alone; these men nowadays just simp/pay for online content, blowing up the value of women, wheres in the past they would just disappear without inflating the market

* Women can now easily filter and choose the top 20% while throwing out the rest because in reality they are not genetic lottery winners

Society is regressing. In the long-run, women also suffer from this, but they're too damn stupid to realize it.

---

Reminds me of my ex whom I met when she was 21. She was a 9/10. We've had an on-off/FwB relationship for many years.

She did the whole OLD thing, enjoyed her youth, went for and got pumped and dumped by the top 20%. As time passed (she's 27 now), her looks faded, and she looks nothing like she did when she was 21.

She openly expressed her frustration about how she used to get hit on much more as a young girl, and that only "losers with money" or "desperate guys who just wanna fvck someone" want her now, and she would probably have to settle down with someone for safety rather than "true love".

Welp, sorry babe. You've had your chance. It's your own fault.

 

[pipeman84]

I think both women and men get devalued....how can one claim he/she is this valuable person and then spend time and look for a significant other in the dumpster that swipe apps are. I think even if they get married some imperceptible level of respect between them has been lost because at the back of their mind it will always be that association... I met her/him on Tinder....Tinder is shyt....then she or he must be...ups.

 

[bat soup]

Let's not go into reason why you might believe most modern men or women are unworthy/not good enough, but let's just consider the mechanic of online dating, which most are aware of:

Most at least average looking women get tons of likes, while most men get barely any. If a woman is under the impression SO many men want her, by the law of supply and demand she sees them as a dime a dozen, and they lose value to her. She might even understandably get annoyed. In contrast, for a man who might be lucky to get 1 like/match a day, week, even a month, he becomes desperate. On the surface the woman might think, 'great, so much choice!'

But of course we know things don't work like that. When it comes to pairing up, if a woman wants her own man, there aren't 10x more men to go around. Unless she herself is very attractive she won't get the most attractive. I mean in general, i know other factors come into play. My question is, in a way all this apparent choice just sets women up for disappointment. I don't see how online dating is sustainable, except for a world where a minority of men have sex with most women but don't have relationships, or polygy, which I don't think is good for most/society. In many ways online dating has f**ked up things for both imo.

Most women are not even on there because they don't need to be. Those that join get flooded with messages and dik pics and pick 1 or 2 out of a thousand, then leave.

Those that stay are the attention whoares, users and timewasters. And of course the wierd ugly people that nobody wants.

 

[SW15]

Yes.

* Women don't even have to leave their houses to receive tons of validation

From 1970-2004 (roughly the time when online dating got de-stigmatized), women needed to leave their homes to receive validation.

2005-present, women don't need to leave their homes to receive tons of validation.

A woman of the 2010s-present gets substantially more validation today than a woman did 1970-2004 who regularly left the house.

That's the difference with online dating.

Today, you have 35 year old average looking childless women getting more attention from the combination of swipe apps and Instagram than a 21 year old top tier sorority girl or supermodel would have had in 1990, simply because those 21 year olds in 1990 didn't have the same technological resources.

* In the past, as a man, you would either grow bigger balls, or doomed to be forever alone; these men nowadays just simp/pay for online content, blowing up the value of women, wheres in the past they would just disappear without inflating the market

In the 1980s-1990s, porn was different for men. In the 1980s-1990s, you could overindulge in VHS/DVD/magazine porn, but it wasn't like the online free/paid porn era, tube site era of porn, or now even OnlyFans.

* Women can now easily filter and choose the top 20% while throwing out the rest because in reality they are not genetic lottery winners

Prior to dating websites and social media, if a woman was solely arranging dates in the real world, she had to pay attention to men below the Top 20%. Now, not so much.

 

[corrector]

I think both women and men get devalued....how can one claim he/she is this valuable person and then spend time and look for a significant other in the dumpster that swipe apps are. I think even if they get married some imperceptible level of respect between them has been lost because at the back of their mind it will always be that association... I met her/him on Tinder....Tinder is shyt....then she or he must be...ups.

Not to mention that the guy is completely disposable and replacable if there is any slight disagreement or unpleasantness in the relationship. After all, all she needs to.do is put her online profile back on.

 

[corrector]

Most women are not even on there because they don't need to be. Those that join get flooded with messages and dik pics and pick 1 or 2 out of a thousand, then leave.

Those that stay are the attention whoares, users and timewasters. And of course the wierd ugly people that nobody wants.

That is cope.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I'll correct the title for you OP

* Men have devalued men and ruined online dating

You have these guys on every app available 24 hours a day spamming cringe messages , i have witnessed it with my own eyes

WTF do you think is gonna happen in these circumstances

It's not the women fault they are as fed up of it as we are

 

[Zimbabwe]

I'll correct the title for you OP

* Men have devalued men and ruined online dating

You have these guys on every app available 24 hours a day spamming cringe messages , i have witnessed it with my own eyes

WTF do you think is gonna happen in these circumstances

It's not the women fault they are as fed up of it as we are

I don't disagree with this, I've spoken at length about simps have ruined dating. When Facebook first came out I remember girls were adding and messaging me, but by 2011 every girl was swamped by simps and now very cautious and uptight as a result.

 

[BadBoy89]

Today, you have 35 year old average looking childless women getting more attention from the combination of swipe apps and Instagram than a 21 year old top tier sorority girl or supermodel would have had in 1990, simply because those 21 year olds in 1990 didn't have the same technological resources.

Funny how you mention “childless”

Its weird, when I was a teenager and early 20s, I used to love love 30-35 year old women. They were so sexy. Now I’m older, any women’s face past 30 is old for me. Not sure why I see it that way now.

On another note I have a family member knows a divorced 37 year old women who desperately wants to get married and have children. She lives overseas. She looks ok. Her family wants me to talk to her everyday and get to know her and call her and bring her over and marry her and get her pregnant fast.

I told them I will not phone anyone outside of my City Area Code, Have her sisters husband bring her over, then I will meet her.

But that’s enough about me,

 

[SW15]

Its weird, when I was a teenager and early 20s, I used to love love 30-35 year old women. They were so sexy. Now I’m older, any women’s face past 30 is old for me. Not sure why I see it that way now.

When thinking about the men who are 18-24 who are interested in women in their 30s, it is usually the less successful men. If a man 18-24 is successful in attracting-seducing women in his age group, he isn't interested in women in their 30s.

Yes, there are good looking men 18-24 who have sex with 30 something men. These men might have the tools in terms of looks to be successful with women close to their own age but aspects of their personality have been lacking in order to attract-seduce women near their own age despite their looks.

I have a family member knows a divorced 37 year old women who desperately wants to get married and have children. She lives overseas. She looks ok. Her family wants me to talk to her everyday and get to know her and call her and bring her over and marry her and get her pregnant fast.

There's plenty of demand for childless women in their 30s/early 40s women on swipe apps now. In the pre-online dating era, many of these older childless women had to settle for divorced single dads. Now, due to single male surpluses and some other factors, these childless women in their 30s/early 40s are getting more attention and getting attention from childless men in their age group.

A divorced, childless woman in her 30s isn't seen as damaged goods anymore. There are too many men now due to the single male surplus. The single male surplus is why men act thirsty on apps. A 35 year old childless woman today with a divorce to her name still has numerous men competing intensely for her. These are often beta males who would do nearly anything to be with her.