Is my boss DTF?

[KennyPowers55]

Hey guys, I need your opinions on whether you think my boss is DTF based on some observations and experiences I'm about elaborate on below. This has been driving me crazy the last couple of weeks as I'm (25M) sexually attracted to my older (47F) blonde pawg boss, and can't stop thinking about smashing her. This is going to be long, so brew some coffee and get comfy. And yes, I realize I'm probably over-analyzing this whole thing, but here it goes:

The following are experiences that have occurred during my 8 month stay with this company so far:

• She loves my sense of humor and once sent me a text saying "KennyPowers, you make me laugh so hard!" I should note we'll text each other every once in a while, but it's mostly work- related and barely flirtatious. Also, when my boss treated me and 2 other coworkers to dinner at a restaurant a couple months ago, I cracked a joke and she quipped lightheartedly (to the dismay and perhaps jealousy of my coworkers lol), "Kenny, you're my most favorite person!"

• She has been VERY nice to me and has never been visibly upset or angry with me even when I majorly screwed up on the job twice. On the other hand, she has gotten a little short with the other 2 female coworkers in the department a couple of times.

This is where things start getting a little weird, so bear with me for just a few more paragraphs lol:

• The power went out one day throughout the entire office building, but my boss had to have access to a computer to get some work done asap, so she said she was heading home and would be back. She forgets her keys and calls her husband (also a manager at the company) to bring them to her in the parking lot. The husband gets them and tells me to bring them to her instead (out of laziness, I suppose). I bring her the keys and she asks if I want to come with her to help her out. I agreed since anything was better than staying in a dark office building with no air conditioning. We get to her home and I help her out with filling in the payroll info she needed (we work in accounting). Shortly after we finish a coworker texted that the air conditioning still wasn't working, so my boss said she'd prefer to chill at the house. She showed me around their house and then we sit and watch tv and chat for about 10 minutes while waiting for word that the air conditioning had turned back on at the office. I didn't dare pull any moves since this was shortly after I started working there and didn't want to be terminated on grounds of sexual harassment. Nothing she did while we were there remotely hinted at wanting sex. Still, looking back it strikes me as odd that she brought me to her home when she could've just had me text her the info she needed to get work done.

• (This is probably the weirdest experience of them all) When we got back to the office, we met her husband and another manager at the front door. Her husband said (and I still can't believe it): "Did you give him some? Awww I want some." She rolled her eyes in annoyance and explained that we were watching tv waiting for the power to come back on at the office. The other manager who had been standing there and listening joked, "I wonder exactly what kind of movies you guys were watching?" and glanced at my boss's husband who gave a sly grin.

• Another time I was invited to a dinner with her, her husband, and another manager. At one point, as a conversation topic, she was telling us countries she would like to travel to. Her husband joked, "She'll have to take Kenny with her because she's looking for someone younger." The other manager looked at my boss slyly, then back to me and said "Oh my, you better watch out Kenny. She's after someone younger now." My boss wasn't amused and rolled her eyes dejectedly and maybe even embarrassed.

• My coworker confided to me fairly recently that she thinks they're swingers, which would explain the strange interactions I've had with her husband. She thinks so since she said they've invited her multiple times over to their house for dinner with "friends coming into town for the weekend." There's yet another female manager from another department that is constantly in my boss's husband's office, seemingly flirting with him (my boss hates her). Otherwise, however, there is no definitive indication as to whether they're swingers or not.

• Lastly, my boss took me and one other coworker out to happy hour a couple weeks ago and after getting some drinks and food, my boss wanted a massage. So we wandered around the mall until we found this small massage parlor where we all ended up getting a massage. My boss took a picture of me and when the masseuse asked if we were tourists, she replied, "no, that's my son. We're just here for the happy hour drinks after a long day at work." I found this a little discouraging, since I figured it might be a sign that she's simply treating me well to fulfill those motherly instincts and isn't DTF.

To those of you who read that whole thing and end up responding, thanks for helping me out. I swear this isn't a troll attempt with a long fake story. I'm just very analytical (to a fault) and desperately want to smash my boss and her nice ass, but also don't want to get fired lol. If you think she is DTF, any advice on how I should gauge her interest?

 

[Julian]

Tldr


Picked up alot of beta vibes tho. Sort yourself mate, this really isnt that hard tp figure out. Look within.

 

[Billtx49]

The accepted wisdom of Not banging coworkers triples its importance if she's your boss.

 

[Glassguy]

I would only reciprocate her behavior. If she gets a little flirty, match it. Never be the one to initiate in this situation.

I would also manipulate the situation as follows:

The next time you and her are alone, bring up "a chick you went out with recently" and how much fun you had while out with her. If she is interested in smashing, trust me she will speed up the process if she thinks that you may be off the market soon.

"Oh you're into _____? A chick that I have been seeing here and there likes that also. Its in the early stages and still casual so I havent had time to do ______with her yet".

Normally older women will be VERY aggressive if they want you sexually, and your friend may be right about them being swingers.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Yeah, sounds like she has an open relationship. Proceed only if you or she stops working there. Even then, I wouldn't want to get involved in that. Swingers are probably weird people.

 

[Glassguy]

Yeah, sounds like she has an open relationship. Proceed only if you or she stops working there. Even then, I wouldn't want to get involved in that. Swingers are probably weird people.

True, but I bet she is a mean fvck in the sack!

 

[The Duke]

As soon as you mentioned her husband gave you the keys, I knew this girl was looking for a younger guy and her husband was ok with it. Certainly she is DTF.

Women have a hard time controlling their emotions and not becoming attached. This girl already likes your personality and your looks. Her husband is beta. You don't want to get involved between a husband and wife that both work at the same company. This could get very bad and awkward.

I recommend you date girls outside of work and learn what women are all about.