Is my best friend's girlfriend attracted to me?

DJOne

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DISCLAIMER: I have no intentions of betraying my best friend. Honestly posting this because I am purely curious, and it might shed some light on attracting other girls this way.

Long story short, thinking my best friend's girlfriend may have some attraction towards me based on certain signs, and given that this is an awkward situation, wanted some insight from others. Here's the behavior:

-When she's buzzed or drunk at parties - which is usually when I see her - she calls me over to talk to her, works her way into my conversations, laughs a little too loud at all of my jokes, and places her hand on my face if I say something she finds particularly funny/charming.

-Sometimes, goes out of her way to touch me - I mentioned that I bumped into an old friend of hers, a guy who was attracted to her, and she told me about how he revealed his feelings to her. While mimicking his behavior, again, she placed her hand on my face as a means of demonstrating what he did to her.

-One year I shared an apartment with her boyfriend, so she would stay over a lot. He had an early morning job so he would go to sleep early while she and I would sit and talk; when we hang out now she often brings up how she misses our "heart to hearts" and misses "living with you."

-She tends to post images on Facebook of interesting concerts/destinations she wants to visit with friends, "tagging" those she wants to go with; she ALWAYS tags my name first, even before her own boyfriend.

-Similarly, she tends to "like" my facebook statuses and images a lot.

It seems she tries to control the more blatant behavior (touching my face) when she is sober, which might mean she is not attracted to me, or might mean that she is, and consciously tries to control it when sober.

Thoughts?
 

pdx1138

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she definitely is.

find a woman of your own so you don't get tempted.
 

mangotot

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Dump the pair of them. Her for being a bad woman and trying it with you. And him for his poor judgement, you don't want friends like that.
 

DJOne

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Thanks for the insights..fortunately I don't see this being a major issue. They both moved several states away only a couple weeks ago for his new job, so I anticipate seeing them three to four times a year now, max. Just felt unsure about my assessment of the whole situation, since this is much more complicated than a typical "is she attracted to me?" situation.
 

IsiMan84

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Sounds like a bit of over-analyzing on your part. Some people are just touchier than others. One of my female friends who I also play volleyball with is very huggy/touchy-feely whatever, even in front of her boyfriend. I wouldn't for a minute think she wants to bang me because of it. Even if she did want to, constant hugs aren't going to seal that deal.

Facebook, social media, blah. Heart to hearts, blah. Considering there has been no physical escalation whatsoever (even when drunk), she's treating you more like she would a gay friend than a potential lover. Not much to worry about there.
 

zekko

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You might be surprised at how common this scenario is: The whole "Man's girlfriend is attracted to his best friend" or "Woman's boyfriend is attracted to her best friend" thing. Think about it, chances are they spend a reasonable amount of time together and get to know each other pretty well. These can be very trick and difficult situations for all concerned.

These attractions can range anywhere from mild interest to a mild crush to an infatuation to full blown, can't get my mind off of him/her desire. Hard to say where in that scale this girl falls. Doesn't sound like it's going to be an issue since they moved away.
 

latinnova

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Umm.... Don't forget, sisters fall into this category also.
 

DJOne

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Thanks again for the responses. All of this is interesting to me because it could shed some light on attracting other girls...basically because she is my best friend's girlfriend, and because she essentially lived with us for some time, I never tried to get with her, so there was no desperation. That said, at times, we could be very friendly, but I also grew to get annoyed with her presence, which I think she picked up on. Seems in retrospect like my behavior would have the effect of developing attraction; no desperation, no attempt to be someone I'm not, comfortable enough to talk to her but also comfortable enough to let her know she was getting on my nerves.

Could work as a model for future attempts with someone I am actually trying to attract.

That said, as was pointed out, this may not be attraction. Maybe she just sees me as safe given my friendship with her boyfriend.
 

marmel75

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zekko said:
You might be surprised at how common this scenario is: The whole "Man's girlfriend is attracted to his best friend" or "Woman's boyfriend is attracted to her best friend" thing. Think about it, chances are they spend a reasonable amount of time together and get to know each other pretty well. These can be very trick and difficult situations for all concerned.

These attractions can range anywhere from mild interest to a mild crush to an infatuation to full blown, can't get my mind off of him/her desire. Hard to say where in that scale this girl falls. Doesn't sound like it's going to be an issue since they moved away.
I had a similar situation growing up, best friends girlfriend was into me so much my best friend actually told her half joking after she said something about him falling off the bleachers and dying(she was being sarcastic) and he wsaid half joking that she wouldn't mind cause she would just start dating me...I turned and looked and she started turning red, didn't say anything and turned away...awkward silence ensued until I changed the subject...

Looking back on it, I guess it should have been more obvious...she set me up with her best friend(super hot cross country runner), used to walk next to me and talk instead of my friend and used to try and hold my hand, which I always yanked away and one time questioned why she was trying to hold my hand to which she just laughed and said because she wanted to...used to check me out all the time...would catch her staring at me constantly...

Have to say she probably was interested...glad you didn't do anything...you should have had her set you up with one of her hot friends...its almost a guaranteed bang as,she will tell her how awesome you are and that she definitely would go out with you if she wasn't with the BF...
 

Tomo

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Over thinking mate. After all you are her boyfriends best friend so hence she wants to impress and be in your good books like why you always become good friends or earn respect with your girlfriends friends. It goes both ways.

Nothing out of the ordinary here. My best female friend throws herself at me when she's had a few or we're hanging out and having fun but she still has her boyfriend. This is because we know the boundaries are established (doesn't mean we don't push it but that is all it is).

I assume you're single? Maybe don't have plates that entice you enough? It happens, you get drawn to other woman that do attract you; particularly ones you may spend a lot of time with unknowingly and develop a bond but cannot have. Make the most of it and get her to hook you up with her friends!
 
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